Ça Aurait Éte Toi

“Where is your job making you go again?” Reece asked me.

“Some random authors talk-thing. I have to write about it, and I was a reviewer for some of the authors, so…”

“Lottie, can’t you just, I don’t know, skip?”

“No, but I really do have to go, like, right now, ok? I’ll talk to you later. I love you,” I said as I hung up. My older sister (who happens to be Reece) invited me and some other random people to go on a trip right when my wonderful job told me I had to go to this “very important author talk”. Right.

I finished getting ready, grabbed my bag, and walked out the door of my very small apartment to the busy streets of New York City.

The small building I was going to wasn’t very far, so I didn’t mind walking. I had finally arrived at the venue, which had a stage and some chairs.

As I walked in, I was greeted with smiles and found out where my chair was; I then sat down. I grabbed my pad and pencil and began to write the basics–where I was, the date, and my signature. Exciting things.

The lights dimmed, and an author who went by the name of Anna Jensen walked onto the stage. Her book, which I reviewed, was just another boring romance. To be honest, as she was speaking, I wasn’t really listening, just writing key things here and there.

It felt like forever before she was done. Two other authors were identical. They had the same unoriginal ideas and boring voices. I was zoned out and not paying attention when I heard a familiar voice.

“Hi everyone! My name is Elias Perlman.” I looked up after hearing the French voice and suddenly felt lightheaded. The spotlight was on this man, and everyone else in the room seemed to disappear. I can smell the scent of bread and hear the streets of a small French village.

7 YEARS AGO

“Qu'est ce que tu lis?” A voice said to me. I looked up to see a beautiful man who seemed to be my age with curly brunette hair, blue-green eyes, and the prettiest smile I had ever seen.

“Pardon?” I replied. I knew what he said, but I was starstruck by him.

“Ah, so you are the American studying in Arpajon, no?” The man asked in his charming French accent. I smirked, looking down as I felt my cheeks grow red.

“So you’ve heard,” I smiled. “My name is Charlotte, but you can call me Lottie. Everyone does.” He pulled out the chair next to me, as it made a scraping noise against the pavement. His face glowed in the sun, which brought out his many freckles.

“My name is Elias, but you can call me, uh, Elias,” He replied, holding in a chuckle. I didn’t hold it in. I let out a laugh. “You know, you still haven’t answered my question. The book, what is it?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s Pride And Prejudice.”

“Jane Austen. Good.”

“You’ve read?” I asked, intrigued.

“Well, of course.”

I smile. I’m in love. Not in some childish way. I’m truly in love.

PRESENT DAY

For some reason, my face feels wet. I reach up to wipe the water from my cheeks and suck in a chunk of air.

“My book is called Est Ce Qu'on Va Se Revoir, or in your case, Will We Meet Again, and it’s about…” Elias runs off. I see his still-beautiful eyes meet mine. My stomach feels like it has fallen into a bottomless pit of nothingness. My heart is pounding so hard I’m sure everyone in the room can hear it.

“It’s… It… It’s about, uhm, excuse me,” Elias stutters, “It’s a romantic coming of age story, uh, based in France between a young boy who lives there, and a girl who visits for a short time…”

My mind is flipping through our memories together. This story sounds oddly familiar…

7 Years Ago

It’s been a few months since Elias and I met. Ever since, he’s always made time to see me. We’ve walked along the shops, we’ve had late-night talks, he would hang around as I studied and worked, and we’ve even sat together, reading in silence.

“I want you to have dinner with my family tonight,” Elias mumbled. I could barely hear him.

“What?” I questioned.

“I want you to have dinner. At my home. With my family.” Elias breathed. To be honest, I don’t know why he seemed so uptight. It wasn’t like we were even together. We were friends. Good friends, at least I think he thought we were. Did I want to be more?

“I would love to,” I smiled.

The night came soon enough. I put on a nice dress, but I didn’t want to look too dressed up. It was only Elias… and his family… oh god.

I was met by Elias at the door of his beautiful home. I’ve never seen it before; it was older, had gorgeous windows, and a wonderful landscape filled with flowers, plants, and trees.

“Salut, Lottie!” Elias exclaimed. He welcomed me inside, where there were two older adults, his parents, and a young girl whom he told me was his little sister, Rose. I also saw his older brother, Oliver, in the kitchen helping.

“Bonjour Charlotte,” Elias’ mother came over to me with her strong accent and gave me a tight hug with a kiss on each cheek. Elias told me they don’t speak much English, which I could adapt to. Although I don’t speak the best French, I thanked God for Elias to be our translator.

We all sat down and started eating together. It had been the first time since coming to France that I felt at home with a good family. It made me a little homesick, but I didn’t mind.

After eating, Elias walked me home. It was a smaller town; you could travel anywhere on foot. It was a nice evening, a mild breeze, and a nice glow from the moon. As I was walking by Elias, I could see his eyes glimmer in the moonlight. I didn’t realize I was walking closer to him until our hands brushed, but Elias didn’t step away. In fact, it seemed he stepped closer. His pinky latched with mine, and my stomach fluttered. I looked at Elias, but he didn’t look back. I thought I saw a small smirk, but it was still dark. I still imagined his lips curved upwards just as mine did.

We made it to my place. My feet were a little sore from walking, but I didn’t mind. Elias stepped closer to me, and I could smell his cologne. He wrapped his arms around me, and I stood stiff. This wasn’t abnormal, but it felt… different.

I slowly relaxed and wrapped my arms around his warm body. I took a breath in and out as he kissed my forehead.

“Au revoir, Charlotte,” Elias cooed. I couldn’t bring myself to open my mouth and have words spill out. I waved and went inside.

PRESENT DAY

I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My forehead felt warm and sweaty. I slowly stood up and walked backwards from my table to the door. I knew he felt my eyes on his, even though he didn’t look back at me.

I pushed the door open and ran to the bathroom. There was no one else, perfect. I went inside a small stall, put my elbows to my knees and hands up to my eyes, and I cried. I could feel my mascara filling my eye and the rest of my makeup coming off.

I jolted when I heard footsteps gradually growing closer. I wiped my eyes and waited for the person to go into their own stall before I left mine.

I went to the mirror and splashed my face with cold water.

Why am I like this?

6 YEARS AGO

Time passed quickly, as it so happens. It was soon time for my departure from Arpajon, from France, from Elias.

I was waiting in my room for Elias to come by; he was supposed to help me pack. I lay down on my bed, sorrowful, when I heard a knock on the door. I sat up and bolted to the door. I knew Elias was on the other side, and I quickly opened the door and felt the warm sun on my skin. I ran into his arms and brought him inside.

My things were all over the floor. I couldn’t bring myself to pack it up alone. I needed someone else, I needed Elias.

We finished packing my many bags, and it was already late noon. We decided to go into town and get a few drinks. A farewell “celebration”, although I wasn’t ecstatic about leaving.

The sun was shining, which brought out Elias’ eyes and freckles. The weather was nice, until it wasn’t. We heard a thunder boom and ran back to my place.

I didn’t want it to end like this. I was leaving the next day. At least the rain could hide the tears on my face.

Neither of us had an umbrella, so we raced home. I brought him inside with his drenched clothes and gave him my umbrella.

“No, it is yours,” Elias shoved it away.

“You need it; besides, I have no room.” Elias took the umbrella and hugged me. This would be the last time I would see him. I pulled him tighter and cried. He lifted my head and kissed my forehead.

“Au revoir, Elias.”

“Au revoir." He walked out the door and opened the umbrella. I collapsed to the floor and sobbed. I didn’t want it to end like this. I needed to tell Elias something. I had to.

It took me some courage, but I stood up and ran out the door without caring to shut it. I took the way I assumed Elias would have gone. I ran until I could see his yellow shirt.

My hair and my clothes were soaked, but I didn’t care.

I finally spotted his bright colored shirt and yelled. The rain was loud, but I was louder.

“Elias! Elias!” I cried. He turned over and met my eyes.

I finally caught up to him and jumped into his arms, knocking the umbrella to the flooded ground.

I brought my lips to his and tangled my hands in his messy hair. His arms clung to his side.

“I… I love you, Elias,” I pulled back. Elias said nothing. He blinked and looked down at my lips. He didn’t do anything. Why wasn’t he saying anything? “Ok, listen, I’m sorry, I don’t know wh-”

Before I could finish, Elias pulled my head towards his and took my lips in his. I pushed back harder. I didn’t want to leave. I couldn’t leave. I wanted to feel like this forever. I wrapped my fingers in his wet hair, and I could feel water fill our faces, but I didn’t care. I needed this. I need Elias.

I pulled back, but I didn’t leave. I squeezed my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. I started to sob. “I love you.”

Elias took his soft fingers under my chin and lifted my face towards his. My eyes slowly shifted up to meet him. “Je t’aime, Charlotte,” he said to me. Elias kissed my forehead and hugged me tightly.

After a long moment, our arms relaxed until we were just holding hands. It was time for me to leave.

“Will we meet again?” I asked him, still gasping for air. Elias gave me one last kiss on my lips. I didn’t close my eyes this time. I needed to see him. I needed to see his beautiful hair and his cute little face.

“Adieu, Lottie.”

“Adieu, Elias.” I knew what it meant. Farewell.

PRESENT DAY

I walked back to my seat, where Elias was still speaking of his book. I stared into his gorgeous eyes. He caught my gaze and stared back.

“The story was loosely based on my life a while back,” Elias started, “the girl I wrote this story about is actually here!”

I was shaken by surprise. I looked around, heavy-headed. I slowly stood up, as did Elias.

“I love you, Lottie, and I will never stop,” Elias smiled. Everyone around me started joyfully clapping and standing up. I laughed. My eyes felt wet, and I could feel tears falling. My hands came up to my face and held my cheeks.

“Well, are you going to say it back?” A person next to me asked.

“I love you!” I said back.

“Sorry?” Someone on the other side of me asked. I looked around to see people staring at me, no longer clapping. Instead, they looked confused. What? I was no longer standing. I was sitting. I don’t remember sitting back down.

“I… I’m sorry,” I said back. I looked back at Elias. None of this happened. Elias never said that. I think I’m going crazy.

I took a sip of water and looked back up to Elias.

“The story was loosely based on my life a while back in France when I was about 20 years old. Well, if you want more information, you’ll have to read my book!” Elias smirked.

I saw a glimmer come from his hand. I squinted my eyes to look closer to see the ring that was settled on his finger.

I relaxed in my chair and smiled weakly.

“Have you read his book?” A woman next to me whispered.

“Me?” I asked as she nodded, “No, but I think I will.”