Operation: Lunch Break Hostage

I’ve been going to this place for a while now. These ladies are telling me to “choose the work I like” and always stopping me from doing the fun stuff. I don’t think they understand their own system. They told me to call them teacher. It feels like an unnecessary protocol. On top of it, I have to be there without mommy or daddy. Highly suspicious… Mommy has been busy with the two babies, so I was hanging out with Daddy most of the time. He was reading to me from Thomas. What is the fuss about Thomas? I like Percy more…

Today, mommy is putting on a kimono and daddy a suit. They put me in a blazer, paired with shorts. No fashion sense. Not to mention that I cannot even move properly. Clearly, no one is thinking ahead here except for me. How am I supposed to climb the jungle gym in these? Totally inconvenient…Come to think about it, possibly illegal.

Mommy looks concerned and is making small steps in her kimono: “Come on, Hikaru, we are running late!”

We are running? Great! Daddy is chasing me through the house. He finally catches me and peels me off a skyscraper I was trying to climb. I was not finished. Where are you taking me?

I knew it! Traitors! They took me to the teachers! Today they are all dressed so cute, and they look so friendly. They weren’t so friendly last week when they confiscated my bento box mid-experiment. Scientists need freedom…

Daddy fakes a smile: “Do you like your new kindergarten? Look, there is Ms. Olivia, your favorite teacher!”

A tall woman waves in my face. Another fake smile. Yes, the bento police. I turn my back and try to run, but Daddy catches me.

The woman beams at me and chirps, “Hi Hikaru San, are you excited about the entrance ceremony?”

Not as excited as you were to terminate my bento plan. Still talking, still talking. Wait, can my legs do this? I jump around.

She swiftly moves to mommy, who is pushing the babies in a stroller, before I could answer. This happens a lot.

They herded us to a big hall. Some people talk in the front. Daddy keeps telling me to sit, but I cannot stop my feet. Pure boredom. I keep jumping up and down until daddy takes me outside with a serious face.

“Hikaru, I need you to behave. This is your entrance ceremony. We are soon going to your new classroom. Understood?”

I nod at him because he looks scary, and it takes all my energy to tie down those wiggles. Aaaah! When does this end? Oh nice. We are going somewhere. Wait…where are we going? Mommy, Daddy, are you coming also? Oh good. Okay, okay, I am safe, all is good.

Once we get to the new room, I run a lap to test out the waters. Daddy is looking worried again and is chasing me. A teacher is still talking. These grownups talk so much.

“Daddy, when are we going outside to play?” I say, looking at all the fun stuff outside. A slide, a sandbox, hey even some tricycles. I love tricycles. I open the door and try to dash out, but Daddy catches me.

Huffing and puffing, he is yelling this time: “Hikaru, can you just stay still for a second?!”

I look up at him. I am sleepy and hungry, too. I can’t take this anymore!

He has a kinder face now: “No, no, no Hikaru, stop crying!” He is looking at the other mommies and daddies and saying sorry to everyone. Wait, where is mommy?

I burst out even louder: “I want my Mommy!”

Daddy picks me up and says, “Mommy is here, mommy is here.” He brings me to her, and she is still rocking the stroller. The babies are sleeping. Enjoy it while you can, little ones. This won’t last. Mommy holds me tight, and I feel warm and safe again.

Mommy and daddy talk, then daddy goes back to the classroom. Finally, Mommy holds me tight, patting my back like in the good old days, “You are a big boy now Hikaru, you will be ok!”

At home, they both look overwhelmed. Lots of papers and things they got from the teachers.

On the weekend, I did my thing on the playground, ate good food, and took some good naps, but this morning their face is suspicious again. Everyone is rushing. Mommy is preparing some bags for me at the entrance. Anyway, I guess I will chill with my Legos. Wait, what?

Daddy picks me up: “Okay, big boy, we are going to the kindergarten! Say bye to mommy and the babies!”

What? Bye? Kindergarten? Wait a second, this is not what we agreed on. Oh, now I understand why I am wearing the ridiculous blazer again today. It was all a trap. You put the cartoons on to distract me, and Bam! I cannot trust anyone here anymore. I need a plan. How could I avoid another ambush? Maybe if I start scream crying? And... Action!

Daddy doesn’t seem impressed; he takes me to Mommy. Her eyes look a bit watery, but all she does is pat my head and kiss me on my cheeks. Then he tears me away from Mommy. She was the last person I still trusted. Juda. Brutus. Or should I say Akechi Mitsuhide? This is a betrayal situation.

Next thing I know, I am strapped in the baby seat and taken against my will to the damned establishment. Someone has to pay for this! Maybe the teachers? I am already concocting a master plan. I won’t make it easy for anyone, and then, maybe, they will let me stay at home with Mommy again.

As soon as I arrive, I rip the door open, slam it, and go to the corner where they have the picture books. This will make me feel better. I sit on the floor and read my favorite book. I ignore daddy as he tries a lame high-five. We are not buddies anymore, Daddy. That is all gone!

Man, these teachers are annoying. They keep talking to me, can’t you see I am busy? They waved my bag at me and a towel with a hook. What? Yeah, you can hang it there yourself if it is so important. Now they try to force me to sit on a chair. The samurai did not sit on chairs. I will not be the first one.

Here we go, with the work again. Pick your work this, pick your work that…Did you hear child labor is illegal? Hey, wait, what is that awesome pink tower? Let me see! Oh no! She grabbed me again.

Ms. Olivia takes everything away from me and forces me to sit. “Let me show you how it’s done.” She places a mat on the floor. She takes each block with two hands. Slowly, suspiciously slowly. I am wondering if she is qualified for this job…

Enough with this pretentious nonsense. This is no fun. I can manage more blocks than one at a time…I run towards the blocks and grab as many as I can.

She stops me, saying, “Stop that!” Then she picks just one block again and carefully hands it to me with two hands. She puts away the rest.

Annoying! This is no fun at all. How am I supposed to play with one single pink block? I had bigger plans. She is trying to limit my vision…They didn’t hire the brightest people here. Maybe I need to step in as a helper. Let me reorganize the bookshelf. There you go! It looks better on the floor!

This time, another teacher surprises me from the back. Good thing I have developed my sixth sense, and I slip away before she can attack. She kneels, and she is quiet. Sniper stillness. She puts them back slowly, uttering in a low and soft voice, “Let’s put them back!” It dawned on me that I’m her next target. Better get out of here!

I see a window of opportunity. Someone went to the toilet, and the classroom door is open. There is a whole new world out there! I saw a wall puzzle with some fun, colorful stuff at the entrance. Let me check that out. Oh my, this wall does things for real. I am loving it. This is a good wall. You can move them. Wait, this comes off! That changes everything. I could take these home and make my own wall. As I am stuffing some in my pockets, Ms. Olivia shows up again. Party pooper!

“Hikaru San, no. You have to come back to the classroom.” She kneels and looks me in the eyes. Challenge accepted. I look back at her, laugh, and run away in the hallway. Love the acoustics of this, I keep giggling as she chases me. You are the tagger; you are the tagger. Let’s see who is faster! Ouch. I bump into someone. A lady with a long ponytail. She is not wearing the same culottes as the other teachers, but some gray pants.

She picks me up and stares at me, “Where do you think you are going?”

Ms. Olivia has an embarrassed look on her face. After all, she couldn’t catch me, “Excuse me, vice-principal. He escaped from the classroom.”

Vice-principal? Where is the normal principal? I don’t like where this is going…

She looks at me with a stern face, “What’s your name?”

Aha! I will not fall for this. This is how they identify you in here. I will not give her my name. I put on the cute puppy face and say: “I like chocolate!”

They both giggle. Okay, the identification attempt has been neutralized.

“He is Hikaru San, from our new youngest class.” Ms. Olivia spills the information. This is not good… this is not good at all.

The vice-principal nods and looks at me again, handing me over to the snitch, “Now, Hikaru San, you need to be a good boy and go back with Ms. Olivia, okay?”

No way I can trust Ms. Olivia again. When we go back, all the other kids are sitting in small chairs around the teacher. They conformed so easily. This is concerning. New leadership needs to be installed. I think I have my work cut out for me here. Ms. Olivia tries to make me sit on the chair again, but I pick it up and start pushing it around the classroom. Let’s see what the reaction to this will be. Another kid looks at me with surprise, then he giggles and imitates me. Now there are two of us. I started a movement. I’ve got this. I need to get to know this guy. He is a trustworthy ally. Ms. Olivia tries to stop us. Nobody else is brave enough to join, but it is a good start.

“Yuming San, stop. That is not ok! Come back and sit down!”

Oh, nice to meet you Yuming. This is the beginning of a wonderful friendship! I laugh at him, and he giggles back as we keep racing in the classroom. The others look hypnotized by the drug of the masses: “The Very Hungry Caterpillar”. This is how they control them. The teacher is even singing now. This feels strategic. Come to think about the plot, the very hungry caterpillar eats a lot and then transforms into a butterfly. This is propaganda to make us eat more, especially the green stuff. I already don’t trust the green stuff… Not going to happen to me and my buddy Yuming. From now on, we are besties for life. I bump into him, he hits my head, I hit back. The Caterpillar story suddenly stops, and both teachers focus on us. That is what I am talking about! We are the VIP here. They start some negotiations.

Ms. Olivia is getting down to the real talk now, “Hikaru San, you like chocolate, right? What else do you like?” I look at Yuming being taken away by the other teacher. He turned on me so quickly. Anyway, we will settle this later, buddy. I am considering Ms. Olivia’s question carefully. Is she negotiating, or is she still gathering information? However, I notice a big box full of cars on a shelf behind her, and I cannot control my urge to rush there and try to pull it down. “Cars, cars!” I scream as she approaches me again and takes the plastic box off the shelf.

“Okay, Hikaru San, you may choose one car.” She says with that smirk of hers. Again, this minimalistic approach. You guys don’t know how to live. The messier the better! Anyway, I chose the police car, and the high-speed pursuit starts through the classroom. Haha, not such a good idea as you thought. Yuming also rushes towards me, trying to take the car. There was a brief tussle. It escalated quickly, but the next thing I knew, I got distracted by a colorful mat with roads. Both of us are driving our cars on it now. I think I got tired, and they lured me with their guerrilla tactics.

Actually, I am kind of sleepy and hungry. The teachers are reorganizing the tables, and they tell everyone it is lunchtime. The compliant ones bring their lunch sets to the table, pick up their water bottles, and sit down, waiting to get their bento boxes. Not me! They force me to go to my bag, I whip out my lunch set, I whirl it around the classroom, and turn around. But this is starting to get exhausting for me, to be honest. So much to do, so I drop it to the floor and lie down. Yuming looks famished; he is already sitting. The teacher says hands together and I watch them from the floor as they make some strange gestures with their hands:

“In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holly Spirit…”

What? Is this some kind of cult? Where did you take me Mommy and Daddy? Is this for real? Do they do this every day? I am so over this. My eyes are closing.

The next time I open my eyes, I see a white ceiling. I am lying in bed. What did they do to me? I sit up. There is a small table with my lunch box and my lunch set. At least there is food and water, but will they hold me hostage here? I look around. It is an empty room with only two or three teachers. The vice-principal is here again. She approaches me, “Hi Hikaru San, you woke up. You must be hungry. Take a seat and let’s eat!”

This obsession with the chair…Anyway, it seems like I am on their terms now. They turned me over to the mob boss, and who knows if I can ever see mommy and daddy again. Better comply. As I am also quite hungry, I sit in the chair and grab some rice with my fingers just like at home. The vice-principal sits next to me, looking concerned: “Nono, use your fork and turn towards your bento-box.” These people cannot chill, not even when they are eating. Do you know in what positions Romans used to eat? Did you know that in India, it is perfectly fine to eat with your hands? So no, I am not going to use my fork. I drop some rice on the floor to let her know who the boss is.

“Look, Hikaru San, after you finish your lunch, your daddy is coming to pick you up. So, let’s eat nicely!”

Aha, so now she is setting the terms of my release. Ok, ok, I will play along this time. This is not over. A price will be paid.