Love or is it Sacrifice?

(This story has sensitive themes of emotional abuse.)

The seagulls cawed upon the crashing waves as the water hit upon Victoria’s feet. The waters pulled the sand away beneath her and she wished how she could wash away with it. Victoria stared out into the blue, trying to feel a sense of calm in its watery depths and usually she could. But not today.

Tears poured down her pale face, the wind whooshing her black hair in a tangled frenzy just like her heart. Her perfect, amazing boyfriend of two years just proposed to her today. It was a perfect day, the sun was shining bright into the coffee shop where she used to work. The place where they first met. Victoria remembers it like it was yesterday.

She was just a fat nerdy coffee barista that loved her job and Alex, her now boyfriend, is a rich lawyer who got his coffee wrong. He jokingly told her that he would sue her and she took it a little too literally and became so flustered that she almost cried. He gave her his handkerchief and told her she was being too sensitive.

Victoria never thought in a million years she would see him again but he came back to get his handkerchief and has been coming back ever since. Victoria didn’t understand why but she didn’t question it nor when he asked her out, this was the first boy that ever showed interest in her and she wasn’t going to ruin it! Now like all couples they had issues. Victoria was always insecure about her body or her entire personality for that matter. She was shy, quiet, introverted and into nerdy stuff like DnD which Alex always pointed out. Whenever he had his fancy friends over he would yell at her about her clothes or the way she talked. Saying she wasn’t dressed enough to impress or that her vocabulary was vulgar.

No matter what she did it was never enough. Alex was more handsome, mature and extroverted than she was and he always reminded her how lucky that she was dating a guy like him and when she would try to argue he would flip the argument on a dime. Making her think everything was her fault and she had to fix it.

Being naive and so in love Victoria and worked even harder to try to fix the many flaws Alex saw in her. She believed that love meant sacrificing everything to make the person you love stay with you. So she molded into Alex’s perfect girlfriend. She was miserable as barely talked to her family and friends but she still had the love of her life. But the moment that Alex got their coffee, he got down on one knee and proposed to her with the biggest diamond she had ever seen. Everyone was watching, some even had their phones out to capture the moment and what did Victoria do? She ran!

Bolted straight out of the coffee shop with everyone watching! It was all so perfect, almost what Victoria imagined but the voices kept screaming in her head as she stared into Alex’s cold black eyes. ‘You’re not good enough!’, ‘You're fat!’, ‘You’re too sensitive.’, ‘He deserves better.’ .

Now here she was, on the beach on a beautiful, sunny day feeling more alone and empty than ever before. “What am I doing?” She asked herself, wiping away the tears upon her cheek. Victoria walked slowly down, hoping that she would come up with a solution to her problem. But nothing came. Just overall dread if she went back to her boyfriend’s apartment and if he was there…

“Excuse me?” Victoria whipped around, her body jolting with shocked surprise. A cute boy, probably in his early twenties walked towards her with a look of concern edged upon his face. “Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.” Victoria shook her head “It’s alright.” He stopped a few feet from her, the look of concern still within his eyes.

“Forgive me but… are you alright?” That question stunned Victoria. She can’t remember the last time someone asked her that kind of question. She wiped at her face again, hoping that she didn’t look that big of a wreck but highly doubt it. Victoria gave the boy the best smile she could give. “I’m fine.” The boy huffed a laugh and shook his head, his sandy curly hair falling over his eyes. “If I had a nickel for a girl saying she is fine.”

“Excuse me?” The boy walked a little closer. His eyes gentle and caring. “No offence but you look like you're having a rough day.” He stated, bluntly.

Victoria opened her mouth to protest but closed it quickly. A fresh set of tears blooming from her eyes. She nodded slowly, afraid if she began to speak she would start sobbing. The boy scratched his neck, looking a little nervous. “Look, I know you don’t know me but you can take a walk with me and you can talk about your troubles with me? I’m quite a good listener.” Victoria smiled faintly, sniffling loudly. ‘It would be nice to have someone to talk to.’ She thought.

But before you could agree or object to this stranger's request… “Victoria!”. Fear filled Victoria’s lungs to the very brim. She slowly turned and saw a very angry Alex on the other side of the beach, stomping his way towards her. “Who’s that?” The boy shuffled a little closer in a wary/protective stance. “My boyfriend.” Victoria muttered. She moved away from the boy and quickly began to walk towards the raging bull called Alex. The stranger reached out a hand to stop her but she invaded him. “Are you sure it’s okay to go to him?” He asked loudly.

Victoria stopped, feeling her heart sink to her toes. ‘No, I know it’s not okay. But… this is what love is right? Make sacrifices to make each other happy? No matter the cost?’ She thought. She knew that Alex is the only one that truly loves her and she did owe him an explanation for running. She slowly turned with a sad smile on her face. “Thank you for the offer to talk to me and your concern. But I have to go now. Goodbye.” With that she turned and left without another word.