Purple Hyacinths and Winters Solstice

I stood shifting a bit anxiously on my feet, the room was vibrating with excitement. I tried to focus my breathing, I needed to calm my nerves, nothing bad was gonna happen today. I couldn't help but give a small laugh to myself, knowing you would make fun of me. How did we get here? I couldn't help but close my eyes and walk down memory lane to when we first met.

~

As I walked down the hallway someone ran into me, spilling lukewarm coffee on my clothes.

"Oh, I am so so sorry" you had quickly apologized to me, and while I had initially been annoyed at the incident. Looking back, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. You were so vehemently insisted on making it up to me, so begrudgingly I had agreed.

The rest was history.

We kept running into each other, or more like you kept choosing to interact with me. I'm sure you had heard how distant and private I was. But it seemed it didn't matter because you simply wouldn't change your mind. You were determined for us to be friends.

You were so bright and warm, it actually burned me at first to be near you, but even my frozen cold life had started to melt away the more we talked. You were my summer, the only warmth I'd ever known.

"And that's why I can't stand the parking situation" you huffed, finishing yet another spiel. "You'd think with all the money this company has, we'd have much better parking!"

I chuffed out a bit of air. Your eyes immediately snapped to look at me.

"Oh my gosh, was that a laugh? Did I finally make you laugh?!" Your face glowed with such genuine excitement and joy. I had been so taken aback by your reaction, my heart finally melted and I couldn't help but burst out with a laugh. It was rusty and awkward, but it was cathartic. You joined in laughing as well.

~

The brides maids and grooms men enter, partnered up, hand in hand, the piano softly played your favorite love song.

~

We were sitting in the park after dark, just staring up at the stars, you had your phone softly playing your love song playlist.

"If I ever get married, this is the song I want to play when I walk down the isle." you had told me.

I smiled in response. "It's a nice song."

A comfortable silence settled between us.

"Thank you... by the way" I said awkwardly.

"For what?"

"For today, for helping me experience so many things, for... being my friend..." I stated simply. "You're my first friend, I won't lie. I never had any growing up... and well my parents weren't the best either. I was just so used to being alone, and not needing anyone. But then you ran into me and it's just been wonderful ever since."

"Awwww... You know, I had seen you around before. You were always so quiet and distant. We'd funnily enough actually had the occasionally typical coworker conversation, you were very polite though... quiet kind actually despite the fact that you don't remember."

I felt a rush of slight embarrassment.

"In all honesty I should be thanking you for joining me today, though I can't believe you'd never been to a theme park."

I rolled my eyes simply.

"I didn't have much of a childhood."

"Well, we'll just have to rectify that, wont we?"

"Sure."

We spent the rest of the night just watching the stars.

~

The piano played into cannon D as you began walked down the isle to the alter. You were a vision of beauty, so stunning nothing else in the universe could compare. I swallowed the bile that started to come up, my heart accelerated.

~

"Honestly, you are one of the best friends I've ever had at a job!" you tell me as you sipped your drink. "Not knocking any of my other friends, but they always end up too busy to spend time with me. It's nice to work with friends, and you're also really smart too, I mean that shortcut you told me about? It was a life savor."

I laughed as I ate some of my food.

"Well get in line, cause you're one of my best friends that I ever had ever."

You smiled and laughed also digging into your meal.

"Well I guess we'll both have to compete for being the better work friend."

We laughed simply, after we finished dinner we went for a walk.

"This has been such a great night"

I nod following you. You nearly trip due to your heels and I quickly catch you and straighten you up

"How cliche" you laugh and I do to, but we stay like that for a moment. My eyes trace your face gently, going down to your lips, and I see you reciprocate.

"May I?" I asked breathlessly.

You nod, and I close the distance as we share a soft shy kiss. Only to laugh about how awkward we were about it. The rest of the walk was perfect and peaceful.

~

"Dearly beloved and honored guests. We are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the joining of these two wonderful people-"

~

It was the most dreaded moment of my life, the night I took you home to meet my parents. I wasn't ashamed of you, no if anything I was more ashamed of them... they were always the worst parts of me after all.

"Hey... I know I haven't talked too much about my parents, they kinda suck a lot. So if they say anything or do anything that makes you uncomfortable, we can leave. And if you wanna break up after tonight, I completely understand." I stared at the ground.

"Hey" you squeezed my hand reassuringly. "You're parents aren't any representation of you as a person. You are wonderful, and I worked hard to be in your life so I'd have to leave it fighting."

I smiled softly at you and we headed inside.

~

"Today, they will affirm this bond to each other and in front of all of you. This affirmation means so much more because thy are able to share it with all of you who are here today- their most beloved family and friends."

~

I was shaking holding you against my chest and shielding you from my parents, both their words and the things they were throwing at us.

"You think you have any right bringing a whore into this house? She's nothing like us!" my mother screeched at the top of her lungs.

"Yur mo'hers ri'h for nce, you, wi'l ne'er be h'apy" my father slurred laughing drunkenly as he gestured to the mess around us. "Yu're too br'en, yu ca't escpe, wht yu ar"

I got us out, but we were never the same.

~

"- today you are not only promising yourselves to each other, you are also committing to being strong for each other, to support and protect each other through all the challenges you will face in this world."

~

You couldn't look at me, hardly smiled, didn't eat... You were avoiding me, I thought you needed time so I tried to give that to you, but watching bags grow under your eyes as you got more and more sickly. It broke me to see you like that. I worried about you so, you kept apologizing and you just looked so guilty. And at some point I snapped.

"Can you please just talk to me and tell me what's wrong!" I had shouted, you flinched so hard you dropped the plate you were holding. "I'm... I'm sorry.. I'm sorry... Just, I'm so worried about you love."

You shake and start to cry a bit.

"I just feel so bad that I couldn't do anything to help you during the dinner with your parents... You got hurt for me and I couldn't do anything."

"It's not your fault, I don't blame you. It's theirs for being such awful people. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to help you... but please I can't see you spiral like this. It hurts me so much."

We cried it out and I helped you clean up the mess.

"What do you say we go get some dessert hm? We deserve it after tonight"

You laughed. "Only if I drive and you pay"

I agree of course, wanting to keep the smile I hadn't seen in so long stay on your face.

~

"Do you Peony harbors" I snapped back to the present. "take Nickolas Willow as your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health in good times and in bad, for richer or poorer for as long as you both shall live?"

~

I clutched my left eye, as I felt blood run down my face, hissing in pain. My entire body ached, I was so confused and it took me a minute to register everything. My heart stopped when I did. We had gotten into an accident, your side took most of the hit the other car had ended up hitting a tree. I felt all my life leave my body, I quickly called the police and while I don't remember what exactly I said but it felt like ages before they arrived. Ages I spent staring at your pale limp body, I was shaking as guilt welled up in my chest.

"'m so sorry... my love.. I-I should have.... if only I had-" I sobbed reaching for you but so scared to touch you. "If only you hadn't met me none of this would have happened... I always ruin everything good in my life"

When they finally arrived I threw up, and passed out.

I was taken in as well, I wasn't as injured as you were, so it wasn't long before I got discharged. I was now partially blind in my left eye, but that was the worst injury I got... You however didn't wake up for some time.

~

"A ring has no beginning or end. Its path is endless and a symbol of your endless love and respect for each other. By placing these rings on each other's fingers, you are promising to not just to love each other, but to honor each other, to be compassionate, patient, and understanding as you build your future together. You can both feel the love in this room. These rings represent this love. Not just your love for each other, but from everyone here today. Let these rings be a reminder of that love, what you are feeling today."

~

I finally escaped from my parents, in the weeks it took for you to wake up. I got my own place, and ran all the way to the hospital when I got the call that you were awake.

"For Ms. Harbors?" I nodded, the nurse led me to your hospital room. "I must warn you, she's having some... amnesia... we're not sure what all she does or doesn't remember."

I swallowed my nerves after she left me standing there. I gathered up the courage to go inside... and then I did. When I opened the door I saw you, beautiful as ever, happy and finally at peace. I was stunned, I could have sworn I fell for you all over again.

"Uh hey... are you... are you feeling okay?"

You turned to me with a slightly startled expression.

"Oh... sorry um. I'm good... I'm sorry, who are you?"

I stiffened, paralyzed, I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. But I didn't want to upset you.

"An old friend."

"Oh! Sorry again."

"You're fine... Listen I know you won't remember, but I feel real bad about something that happed between us... And I just wanted to apologize and I'm sorry Peony. Really sorry. But don't worry I'll make it right, okay?"

You seemed a bit confused but you nodded and gave me a smile.

"Yeah.. and don't worry too much okay? I'm sure I would have forgiven you... if I could only remember."

I nodded simply.

After that I didn't want to accidentally trigger any memories for you, so I remained just a friend. I never did tell you the truth, and it seemed the heavens granted my wish, cause you never remembered what we were. I watched you at an arms length, even introduced you to Nickolas knowing he'd be perfect for you.

"Nickolas place the ring Peony's finger and repeat after me: Peony, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love with the pledge to love and support you today, tomorrow, always, and forever."

"Peony, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love with the pledge to love and support you today, tomorrow, always, and forever"

"And now, Peony place the ring on Nickolas's finger and repeat after me: Peony, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love with the pledge to love and support you today, tomorrow, always, and forever."

"Nickolas, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love with the pledge to love and support you today, tomorrow, always, and forever"

I watched with a smile on my face as you exchanged rings with Nickolas, someone I knew would take good care of you and give you the life you deserve. Tears welled up in my eyes and they fell.

I know how it looks: me not being able to face you and tell you the truth, but also not being able to let you go. I'm just a lonely coward. And look at how far we've come.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride." I watched you kiss him.

I swallowed everything all I never said, and all we could never be. In truth the thing that hurt me most about that night, was that I couldn't protect you from my parents. I watched you wither at their harsh nature, despite how you thrived despite my cold nature. I knew you'd never be the same, even if I wanted to tell you everything. So in a way I'm glad you don't remember. That you can live unburdened by such memories and be happy. But I'll keep our memories alive in my mind, they will be my only solace in this life. The only warmth I have as I return to my frozen life.

Summer was over, and so were we.