Paradise Lost

Fiction

Written in response to: "Write a story titled 'Paradise Lost'." as part of From the Top.

Paradise Lost

(Paradise Found?)


I almost let the phone go to voicemail since I didn’t recognize the number and suspected I would have to be rude to yet another salesperson.


Yes?


Mr. Samuel Makarov?


Yes?


I have a story for you.


Those are magic words. I’m a freelance reporter. I’ll take whatever news I can get. Excluding who is sleeping with whom, who had a face lift or tummy tuck or who got who pregnant.


Talk to me.


Not over the phone.


The man gave me the address of a coffee shop just out of town. We agreed to meet in thirty minutes.


Mr. Ahmed Sharuff a middle-aged man has a full beard sporting streaks of grey. His abaya and keffiyeh were simple, serviceable, and unadorned. Upon his urging, we strolled through the garden behind the coffee shop while he told his story. He said he made his living as a member of a salvage and clean-up crew. They specialized in cleaning up after bombings and explosions. He had not been without work in decades.


“Quite lucrative” He admitted with a shrug. “Officially, we’re not supposed to take anything and bring it home. But you know how it is. Normally I don’t take anything, at least nothing big. But this time it was different.” He shrugged again, holding both hands up in a helpless gesture.


Something about this item spoke to me. It felt hot to the touch, much warmer than everything around it, yet comforting at the same time. I tucked it in my pocket. It fit as if it was made for it. We worked about a week longer at that site before we went home.


As soon as I came home, the dreams started. They were both frightening and beautiful. Familiar and strange. Ethereal and normal. But above all urgent and compelling. Each night the message became clearer. Different voices, different languages, cajoling, demanding, feminine, musical, or fatherly.”


The story Ahmed told me was interesting, but I was not convinced it was newsworthy. I pumped him for more information, asked for more evidence. He showed me pictures. Quoted phrases in languages he did not speak.


We met several times, he never wavered from his conviction and kept repeating that “This needs to be shared with the entire world. I was told to share this with the entire world. What if they bury it? They can, you know.” He referred to the synagogue he had given the artifact to.


I followed up with the Jewish Great Synagogue. They confirmed that, yes, Mr. Sharuff had turned over the artifact. And that yes, it was being studied.


So, I drafted his story and contacted an editor friend of mine, urging him to print it. It was ten days before he found enough column space between AI developments, wars, famine, and other general mayhem. Even then, the story was buried on page three.


Jerusalem Post

September 15, 2023

Recent Discovery.

Byline: Samuel Makarov, Independent contributor.


This reporter was recently approached by Mr. Ahmed Sharuff, from Amman, Jordan. He informed that he had found a significant artifact while cleaning debris at an explosion site.


A series of low- to mid-level earthquakes, one month ago, along highway 90 at the West Bank, caused damage to natural gas lines. The tragic explosions that followed leveled three houses in the small town of Qumran and took the lives of twenty-three people. Clean-up efforts were delayed to search for the remains of missing members of the three families.


Once all twenty-three people were accounted for, and the area made safe for the salvage crews, clean-up resumed. Just last week, Mr. Ahmed Sharuff one of the salvage crew members, contacted this reporter. He admitted having taken one of the items he found among the rubble and to have brought it home to Amman, Jordan. He described the item as a stone, the size of an adult palm, approximately 10x15 cm.


Mr. Sharuff added that, despite it being wrapped in sailcloth, there was some apparent damage at the corners. This could be attributed to either the earthquakes or the explosion, or both. He described the stone as being smooth, as if it had been touched often, and being much warmer than other stones or rubble around it. Mr. Sharuff further reported that the stone showed inscriptions or carvings, though he was unable to decipher them.


He admits to taking the stone home with him to Jordan, assuming that since all family members had perished in the explosion, there would not be any interest in one simple stone artifact. “Besides, it just felt right.” He added.


Just before he met with this reporter, Mr. Ahmed Sharuff had turned the stone over to one of the rabbis at the Jerusalem Great Synagogue. Mr. Sharuff, a devout Muslim, told this reporter that he believes he was commanded in dreams to do this. He describes his dreams as being vivid, colorful, and compelling.


Mr. Sharuff was adamant that one or more higher powers spoke to him in his dreams. He related having heard the same message in a variety of languages, through a variety of voices. He is convinced that these higher powers have charged him to share the stone, the tablet and its message, with the entire world. Acting on these dreams and the instructions, he traveled to Jerusalem and tried to present the stone to the Knesset, assuming world leaders would be interested, but he was referred to the Jerusalem Great Synagogue.


This reporter has made several inquiries at the Synagogue and has been assured that extensive studies are in progress to authenticate the age, decipher the inscriptions and make comparisons to existing artifacts. This reporter has learned that experts on Dead Sea artifacts have been called in.


It is important to note that the Dead Sea Scrolls and remnants of the Ten Commandments were found in Cave 4 near the village of Qumran.


This reporter will remain on the case and inform you, the reader, of any further developments.


Between other assignments I made a general nuisance of myself at the Synagogue. My persistence paid off when six months later I was one of the reporters present at the following press conference.


March 31, 2024. Christian Easter.

Announcement from the World Ecumenical Council.


Six months ago, the Jerusalem Great Synagogue was presented with a small stone. The gentleman who donated the artifact, told Rabbi Slobovak that he had been instructed to bring the stone to temple.


Rabbi Slobovak shared the artifact with his superior, Rabbi Dimitrov, who is an expert in antiquities and specializes in decoding and understanding the Dead Sea scrolls.


Rabbi Dimitrov, after examining the stone, called in colleagues from both the Orthodox and Roman Catholic churches, the Church of England, other Christian leaders. Leaders of the Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and many other religions.


In addition to extensive studies, including carbon dating and comparisons to the original Dead Sea Cave 4 discoveries, and spurred by visions experienced by all who have touched the tablet, the members of the council are convinced, beyond a doubt that the tablet is authentic and contains two additional Commandments.


XI - Thou shall not judge or persecute another for his belief.


XII - Thou shall not proselytize or impose one’s belief on another.

Posted Apr 28, 2024
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31 likes 38 comments

Graham Kinross
June 10, 2025 00:24

This would be a great way to encourage people not to use religion as a hammer to beat LGBTQ + people with.

Reply

Van Griffin
May 09, 2024 13:45

I love the way you executed this. I was sucked in immediately and pleasantly surprised at the end!

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Trudy Jas
May 09, 2024 16:51

Thank you so much. Your feedback made my day!

Reply

May 07, 2024 14:11

It is really cool; I was not expecting such an end, but I really liked it :)

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Trudy Jas
May 07, 2024 18:36

Thank you, Laura. I'm so glad you liked my story.

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Hazel Ide
May 07, 2024 11:56

I like the way you formatted this. Interesting read!

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Trudy Jas
May 07, 2024 12:40

Thank you, Hazel. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :-)

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Rabab Zaidi
May 05, 2024 09:23

Very interesting. Very relevant commandments!

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Rabab Zaidi
May 05, 2024 09:22

Very interesting.

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Helen A Howard
May 03, 2024 06:09

I love these new commandments. A great story as to their journey of discovery. I liked the ecumenical feel and the way you showed it. It’s the only way forward. If only!!!

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Trudy Jas
May 03, 2024 09:32

Amen, Helen. :-)
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.

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LeeAnn Hively
May 03, 2024 00:47

I absolutely adore stories about antiquity and finds in our current era. I also love the additional commandments. Sadly, I fear they'd be overlooked just as much as the ones known about for about 3,000 years.

I loved how you set this up. It was very well done, as usual, of course.

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Trudy Jas
May 03, 2024 00:57

Well, yeah. :-) But we can hope, can't we?

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LeeAnn Hively
May 03, 2024 01:03

When we cease to hope, we cease to be human.

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Laurie Spellman
May 01, 2024 21:21

Loved this concept with the POV of the Freelance reporter! And bravo on the new commandments 😇

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Trudy Jas
May 01, 2024 22:06

Long overdue, right? :-)

Thanks, Laurie

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Hannah Lynn
May 01, 2024 18:47

Really interesting take on the prompt! I enjoyed it a lot.

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Trudy Jas
May 01, 2024 20:16

Thank you, Hannah. I'm glad you liked it. :-)

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Alexis Araneta
April 30, 2024 14:37

Trudy ! Yet another banger from you ! Such a creative take on the prompt. That twist at the end made me gasp. Loooove, the flow, as usual. Splendid work ! (And yes, this is my real name. by the way. Hahahaha ! - Stella)

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Trudy Jas
April 30, 2024 14:44

Well, pleased to meet you, Alexis. LOL.
I'm so glad you liked the story. Tell me how the end made you gasp. good or bad? I'm interested in seeing/ reading people's thoughts on it.

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Alexis Araneta
April 30, 2024 14:51

Gasp in the best way possible. You know me. I love surprising twists in stories.

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Trudy Jas
April 30, 2024 14:52

Goody! Thanks, AA :-)

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Jim LaFleur
April 29, 2024 19:21

Trudy, your story is a fascinating blend of mystery and spirituality. The inclusion of new commandments is a thought-provoking twist that adds depth to the tale. Outstanding job!

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Trudy Jas
April 29, 2024 20:06

Thanks, Jim. Long overdue, I thought. ;-)

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Mary Bendickson
April 29, 2024 15:17

Interesting.

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Trudy Jas
April 29, 2024 17:04

Hah. Is that a good interesting, or a bad interesting? As in "the food here is ... interesting. :-)

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Mary Bendickson
April 29, 2024 17:07

With you it is always good.😁

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Trudy Jas
April 29, 2024 17:15

LOL Bless you.

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Ty Warmbrodt
April 29, 2024 09:29

If only. That would reshape the world. Loved it.

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Trudy Jas
April 29, 2024 11:45

Thanks, Ty. It would, wouldn't it?

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Harry Stuart
April 29, 2024 01:02

A unique take on the prompt, Trudy, with some additional Commandments that I would applaud! I like how it ends on that note with the reader left to ponder the new discovery. The story is intriguing not only in content but how its presented from the journalist's perspective, the newspaper article, and the council's debriefing. Highly creative and solidly written, what we've come to expect and admire from your work! Well done again! 😊

Reply

Trudy Jas
April 29, 2024 01:05

As always, I thank you for your kind words, sir. :-)

It was a bit out of the box for me, but had fun thinking it through.

Reply

April 28, 2024 23:32

If only!

Nicely constructed story.

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Trudy Jas
April 28, 2024 23:34

Wow! Thar was quick. Are you lurking in my corner? I'm flattered.

And yes, if only. We can dream, and pray.

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April 28, 2024 23:41

It's called procrastination 🤣

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Trudy Jas
April 28, 2024 23:41

And you obviously do it well. :-)

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Unknown User
May 03, 2024 22:42

<removed by user>

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Trudy Jas
May 04, 2024 00:05

I know, right? :-)
Thank you, Darvico

Reply

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