The Missing Chapstick

Jessica, a boss babe, spent the last several hours promoting her wellness business, Clarity. Clarity provided healthy protein supplements for a wide variety of clients. Proteins came in many forms. Beverages, sugary treats, water, salty and sweet munchies, and of course, powder. Clarity figured they could revolutionize the world by putting protein in just about anything. She left her job to dedicate herself to her business and would earn more money after recruiting five people to her team.

Jessica rolled her head around, cracking her neck. She pulled open her desk drawer, desperate for some chapstick. Cracked and chapped lips covered her mouth. If she didn’t do something soon, then she would surely die. She went to grab the chapstick, but the space where she kept it was empty. “Oh, no!” No, no, no. Where the heck is my chapstick? This cannot be happening again!” Before she could finish the remaining hour or two of her work, she had to moisten her lips.

A repetitive Caw, Caw, Caw, Caw echoed from the crow perched outside. Loud and unforgiving. Jessica frantically searched her entire desk; her lips burned. Caw, Caw, Caw, Caaaaaw! Jessica slammed the desk drawer shut and stood. “That stupid crow. One more minute of this, and I'll snap. Seriously, I swear it's doing it on purpose.” The crow cawed as she opened the window and yelled, “Go on! Git! Get outta here!” She frantically waved her arms back and forth until the crow finally took flight and left. Likely to bother someone else. That crow was always bugging her. She even tried squirting it with one of Julian’s water guns, but it kept squawking whenever she was in her office. Jessica slammed the window shut with a bang, cutting off the outside world, and she went back to the task at hand: finding her chapstick before her lips fell off.

“Are you alright Jess, thought I heard screaming?” Hugo strolled into the room.

“That darn crow! So loud. I can’t hear myself think! Have you seen my chapstick? My lips are on fire and I need it.”

“Have you checked your desk?” Hugo suggested.

“Do you think I’m stupid? Of course I have. Someone took it. Again.” Jessica let out a loud sigh of frustration. "Can you go get Miles, Julian, and Willow? I must figure this out now. Family meeting time.”

Hugo hesitated, “Don’t you think you are being a little…obsessive over chapstick? I’ll just run to Kwik Trip and get a new one. Is a family meeting necessary?”

“Yes, we certainly do! I’ll just do it myself.” Jessica storms past Hugo and yells, “MILES! JULIAN! WILLOW! FAMILY MEETING IN MY OFFICE!”

Miles, Julian and Willow filed into Jessica’s office.

“What’s this about?” Julian, eleven and the middle child, inquired. Julian was the most mischievous of the children.

“Yeah, I don’t have a lot of time. I need to get to basketball practice,” Miles added. At sixteen years old, Miles was the oldest. He had tons of friends and played sports all the time.

Willow, the youngest, at age 8, ignored everyone and went straight to Gizmo's cage. Gizmo was the family ferret. Willow had begged her mom for the furry companion, and her mom had agreed, but would not allow Willow to keep Gizmo in her room. She took care of cleaning his cage, feeding him, and playing with him. Her mother rarely allowed her to play with Gizmo in the middle of the day. Willow, having done a lot of research on ferrets, begged her mom to get two. Ferrets, social beings, thrived in pairs. Jessica, convinced that the store clerk was just trying to make a bigger sale, would not buy Gizmo's brother, Widget. The absence of a playmate, coupled with Jessica's limited letting-out times, kept Gizmo in low spirits. Gizmo woke up and stretched. It made Willow smile. “Hi Gizmo,” she whispered.

“Willow, leave Gizmo alone. Ferrets are nocturnal animals, remember. Let him sleep. We currently face more critical issues. I need to know which one of you swiped my chapstick. I promise. I’m not mad,” Jessica was desperate.

“Are you sure, Mom? You sound a little mad,” Willow says quietly. She just wants to get back to organizing her rock collection. She doesn’t even use chapstick, even though her mom keeps telling her she should. “I heard you yelling at the crow earlier. Mom, you need to be careful. Crows remember stuff. I heard they can hold grudges a long time. They can eve—”

“Willow, your animal facts and other trivia truly delight me, but we'll discuss them later," Jessica stated. No matter what she did, she could not stop thinking about her burning lips.

“Miles is my pick. He'll want kissable lips for his date with Stacy,” Julian joked, puckering his own and making smacking sounds.

“Mom, I didn’t take your chapstick. If I needed chapstick, I would just go buy my own.” Miles rolled his eyes. “Seriously, I have homework, practice, and a date with Stacy. Maybe you lost it again, just like before," Miles snapped.

“I most certainly did not misplace it. Not this time or last! Until I learn who took it, nobody leaves. My lips hurt so bad,” Jessica was near tears.

“Why don’t you just grab another chapstick? You have chapstick stashed in your car, the bathroom, by your bed, in your purse, your gym bag, your coat pockets, and likely more places. Can’t you use one of those” Hugo asked hopefully.

“Those are all missing. I told you. Gone! Car chapstick, desk chapstick, bathroom chapstick. They are all gone.” Jessica was furious.

“Mom, you always say that when I lose something, it's in the last place I left it. You also get mad when I blame someone else when my things are my responsibility. Sometimes I get mad when I lose stuff too and you tell me to calm down.” Willow gasps. “Maybe you should calm down Mommy, then you will find it.”

“Willow, I do not need to calm down. I just need my damn chapstick.”

“Why don’t we all take a deep breath and we can figure this out together,” Hugo inhaled while everyone else ignored him.

“Dad, it was you, wasn't it? "You're being way too calm, and it feels like you're trying to distract from the real problem," Julian stated.

“Maybe it's you, Julian. You keep blaming everyone else,” Willow responded.

“Or maybe it was you, Willow! You collect things. Are you collecting tubes of chapstick now?” Julian teased.

Willow ignored him, “Oh I know! Suzie, my friend at school, has this saying when she loses stuff,” Willow scrunches her face as she thought. “Tony, Tony, look around. Something’s lost and must be found.”

Willow and Julian spun in circles as they chanted, “Tony, Tony, look around, something’s lost and must be found.” Hugo was still taking deep breaths.

“This is so stupid.” Miles held his phone in his hand, scrolling. “Listen, I’m on Amazon’s website right now. A bundle of 24, arriving in the next 30 minutes.” Miles hits the buy button, paying extra to get it delivered as fast as possible. “You can replace all your chapstick with more to spare. Can we all go now?” Miles pleaded.

“Fine, but this isn’t over. I will discover who took it and ground them.” Jessica huffed.

Miles goes back to doing his homework; Julian heads outside to go for a bike ride with friends, and Willow says a quick goodbye to Gizmo before heading to her room to organize her rock collection.

Jessica let out an enormous sigh. “I may have overreacted a bit, huh?” She licked her lips.

Hugo wrapped his arms around Jessica and gave her a big hug. “You are extra stressed from all the work you’ve been doing for Clarity. Why don’t I draw you a bubble bath? I can bring you the new bathroom chapstick when it arrives,” Hugo chuckled. “I'll even replace all your chapstick spots.”

“All that sounds lovely. You are my rock, Hugo. I don’t know what I would do without you. I’ll apologize to the kids later. I just really wish I knew who the culprit was. Why does it keep going missing?”

“You know what they say. Don’t sweat the small stuff.” Huge responded. He leaves the room to start a bath for Jessica. Jessica went to the kitchen to get some wine, her lips were still sore, but chapstick was on its way.

_________________________________

About six hours earlier.

Boredom struck Gizmo, making him wish Widget were there. The crazy lady left Widget at the pet store, and Gizmo spent most of his time in his cage. Resourceful, he often escaped his cage. He loved taking things from the crazy lady who screamed a lot. Missing things drove her nuts.

Gizmo scanned his surroundings, and when he realized no one was watching, he jumped up on the desk. He wiggled his way into the desk drawer and found the one thing he knew would drive the lady bananas: her chapstick. Every few days, a new chapstick appeared. He’s taken a lot of tubes of chapstick.

Gizmo glances at the window and sees the crow outside. Crazy lady was always giving him a hard time too. The girl they called Willow left gifts for the crow, and so Gizmo did the same.

He trotted toward the window, which was open a crack. He squeezed himself through.

“Hello, old friend. How’s the crazy lady today?” The crow asked.

“Well, I haven’t seen her yet today. She’s sleeping in, I guess. I have a gift for you,” Gizmo holds out the chapstick for the crow.

“Oohhh nice. Another one? She’ll be furious when she realizes another one is gone. I'll take this to my hidden stash, then drop by some friends' places before I return to squawk at the crazy woman.”

“Sounds like you have a busy day. I am going to take a nap. I am a nocturnal animal after all," Gizmo said, extending the chapstick.

“We make a great team, friend. I’ll see you later. Perhaps next time we can steal something shiny? Shinny things are my favorite,” the crow grasped it in its beak and flew away.