Healing at the Kitchen Table

Eloise, named after her great-great-grandmother, the name wasn’t as popular anymore in the town where she lived, Oakridge Shore. It used to be a small town; it’s actually the same town her great-great-grandmother grew up in, as Eloise would learn later. It was a small, charming town with quaint villages and small family businesses. It was originally named Oakshire Ridge, but in the centuries since, developers have come in and made the town more hip and modern, with trendy urban neighborhoods featuring a cultural scene along with cozy artisanal coffee shops and bakeries, while still retaining some rugged nature and outdoor recreation spots.

Because of changing boundary lines, the town was absorbed into the nearest larger town and became what is known today as Oakridge Shore. Eloise, for her part, was not impressed; all this urbanization caused her great turmoil. She was the only Eloise she knew in this town; everyone else had more modern names like Eli, Charis, Rhema, or Eden. She liked her name, but she was always picked because of it; kids would say your name is so 1800’s. Kids knew she was named after her great-great-grandmother, which didn’t help matters. Oakridge shore for all the modernization, was still very much a small town by big city standards. Most everyone knew everyone else, and with it the kind of intimate information that small town living affords

Why did her mother name her after her great-great-grandmother, Eloise thought with frustration. She contemplated asking her mother to move them to a different town.

Mom! I called out, my voice filled with frustration. Yes, dear Eloise’s mother said. I can’t find my recipe book! I had written down some recipes I wanted to try, and now I can’t find them! Did you look in the kitchen, dear? No! I thought. I thought sure I left it in my bedroom in the drawer as I slammed the drawer closed. Ugh, where is it?!! Eloise went down to the kitchen, and sure enough, there it was on the counter. Found it! she said to her mother. Great, what are you going to make? Eloise’s mother walked into the kitchen, faint smells of freshly baked cinnamon rolls wafted in the air that were made earlier that morning. I thought I would try making this cake I found in this recipe book. It was really old, but also really interesting.

Her mother’s interest piqued, oh what kind of recipe book? Where did you find it? I saw it downstairs in the basement; it was on top of an open box. Her mother knew exactly the book she had found, it was her great-grandmother’s recipe book, the woman Eloise was named after. It looks like you’ve found your great-great-grandmother’s recipe book, her mother says, coming around the counter to sit down. I didn’t realize I left it out in the open downstairs. Oh, really, Eloise says, coming to sit next to her mother.

Yes says her mother. Where is it? It’s very important that we don’t lose it, her mother feeling antsy that it wasn’t where she left it. I should have been more careful with a precious heirloom like this, she thought, but I got sidetracked when I was in the basement looking through storage. Her phone had started ringing; her phone usually didn’t ring unless it was Eloise, but Eloise had been upstairs in her bedroom, so she knew it wasn’t her. It’s in my drawer in my bedroom. How about we look through it together? I’ll get a photo album. I’ll get the recipe book. Eloise got the recipe book and met her mother back in the kitchen. Sitting at the table, Eloise’s voice, full of fascination, echoed across the table as she exclaimed, “Wow!” She looks like me! Or rather, I look like her, she says sheepishly. Her mother’s laughter was warm, fun, and loving. Yeah, you have that cute button nose, like she does.

Great-grandmother Eloise was old in years by the time I came around, but she was always warm, nurturing, and tenderhearted towards me, and also very wise. There she is, standing with a bowl and a whisk in her hands. I wonder who is behind the camera taking that picture? I don’t know for sure, but I bet it’s your great-great-grandfather. Your great-great-grandmother Eloise, looks to be about 20 years old in this picture, and in those days, people married earlier. It looks like her house, so I would guess that’s who it is.

You saw her house! Eloise, looking wide-eyed at her mother. Ha, yeah, her mother Karen says. I was about 6 years old, and great-grandmother Eloise was still up and running. At 92, she was very effervescent, with no signs of slowing down. My mother would go to her house early to try helping put dinner together during the holidays, but my great-grandmother always insisted on making the pies every holiday season.

Karen, flashing back to 6-year-old Karen, can see great-great-grandmother Eloise with her mixing bowl, adding in the fresh berries she got from the market. While great-great-grandmother Eloise was making the pie, she would invite Karen to help her make the pie, add in the sugar, lemon juice, and cornstarch. Karen would stand in front of her, helping her to stir, and then great-great-grandmother Eloise would pour the filling into the pie crust and would bake it. Karen can smell the sweet smells of pie crust. Great-great-grandmother Eloise would brush the pie crust with butter and sprinkle sugar all around the crust. It was heavenly. Karen, coming back to the present, sees Eloise looking closely at the photos.

Look here Karen says, here I am with her making the fresh berry pie. Wow mom, you’re so young there, and looking at you now, you don’t look any different, really. I’m certain that’s not true! Eloise laughed, putting her hands on her mother's face, It is! Oh stop! Karen says, looking back at the photo. I hadn’t known my mother took a picture of this. How do you know it was her? My mother was never far from my great-grandmother. If I remember, she walked into the kitchen. I just didn’t know she took a picture.

Eloise looks at the cake recipe and then looks at another picture of her great-great-grandmother, Eloise. What’s that she’s reading there mom? Great-great-grandmother Eloise is reading a Bible. Karen, silent for a moment, hoping to hide her face from her daughter, tears threatened to overflow at the memories that were now clouding her mind. For a moment she was awash in sadness, wiping the tears away stealthily and clearing her throat. She says that is great- great-grandmother Eloise, sitting at the table reading her bible. She would make desserts every Sunday. I remember going over to her house before church, and she’d be making a cake or some other dessert for the church potluck at the end of the service.

One thing she always instilled in me was the good news of Jesus Christ, that Jesus loved me, no matter what happened in life, no matter what trials I faced, and no matter how other people had failed, and that especially included people who were in church. She said not everyone in church was really following Jesus.

She said there are wolves in the church, and you must be aware of them. At first, I thought she meant real wolves, and I said I can’t remember seeing any wolves in church grandma. She explained that wolves were people who on the outside could looked the like they believed in and followed Jesus and could even talk a good game, but inwardly they were no good. They meant to deceive and cause harm, so be on guard, you can’t trust everyone in church.

She also told me that it was also really important to be able to know the difference between wolves and people who make mistakes. Even those who were really following Jesus would still make mistakes, and so to keep my eyes on who Jesus was as a person. To know his character would keep me firm when trials came, she said. Karen had forgotten that until this moment, she hadn’t even been to church, much less follow Jesus, since her grandmother Margaret passed away. Some incidents had happened when Eloise was little, and with her mother becoming ill not long after that, she hadn’t been back to church since. Admitting that to herself and to God, she said a silent prayer: "Jesus, help me!"

Karen felt a weight lift that she had been carrying all this time since. Hey, how about we make that cake? Ok, I’m up for that

Eloise picks up the old recipe book and finds it says Eloise on the side. She hadn’t seen that before. Suddenly, Eloise, feeling this warm gush of joy, gone was the feeling of loneliness and shame, and in its place a feeling that her great-great-grandmother was there with her in spirit, through the sharing of a name and a fondness for baking. Eloise turns on the oven to 350* gets out all the ingredients she needs for this cake. A moist white cake. Instead of traditional buttercream, Eloise will use cream cheese icing and top it with a fresh berry filling.

Together, they make this cake, with Eloise making the cake. Eloise sticks a spoon in the batter and eats some while she thinks her mother isn’t looking. I saw that!! What did I say about eating raw batter!! She laughs, you don’t want to get salmonella poisoning! If you do, I’m not taking care of you, she says tenderhearted yet firm. Ok, you say that, but I know you wouldn’t leave me to suffer in my bed alone. Eloise knew not to do it again, though her mother was usually right about most things. Karen made the filling and cream cheese base. Once the cake is in the oven and the filling and frosting are back in the fridge, Eloise goes back to looking at the photos with her mother staring off into the distance in a corner nook of the kitchen.

Outside, she saw Esme talking to Gabriel.

Karen and Eloise lived in the part of town that was close to the rugged recreation spots, the part of the town where you could still see some of what the town used to be. Here, there were a few older homes, and Gabriel was living in one of them. He recently moved to the town. He was a nature buff, a lover of the outdoors, hiking, biking, and nature walks. He had recently taken a job at the Nature preserve just a 10-minute walk from here, Esme. Mom

Tell me more about Jesus. Who is he? Eloise, bringing Karen back into the kitchen. Why have I never heard about Jesus? Karen, thinking about what to say as she walks back to Eloise. She wasn’t ready to tell her daughter the real reason she never said anything about Jesus. Of course, it wasn’t Jesus she had been running from, but the reminder of her pain she experienced at the hands of people in the church. She had been trying to distance herself from the pain.. She was young, Eloise just a baby when it happened.

Eloise finds in the recipe book her great-great-grandmother’s prayers, and in the photo album photos of all the generations of her family, her mother when she was little, her grandmother, great-grandmother, and great-great-grandmother all at different ages. Karen, thinking about what to say…

Well, Jesus is good news for the world, he loves people no matter where they are in life or what's happened to them, recalling what her grandmother Margaret had told her. He gives hope to those who are hurting and in pain. Can he help me with the kids at school? I’m sure he can.

How about we find out together? Karen hadn’t read the Bible or gone to a church in the last 15 years, but she could recall what her family had told her.

Karen and Eloise continue looking through the photo album, with Karen sharing stories about what she learned about Jesus from great-great-grandmother Eloise and great-grandmother Margaret.

I remember my grandmother came over to visit mom, and mom was screaming about..

Beep Beep Beep

Eloise jumps up, rushing excitedly over to the oven. It’s time to take the cake out! She grabs the oven mitts and carefully takes the cake out of the oven. Don’t forget the cake has to cool for at least an hour, and then it needs to be chilled for 30 minutes. I know, Eloise says, feeling a bit dejected. Patience, Karen says, and you will be rewarded. 2 hrs later, the cake was ready to eat. Karen gets out plates and a knife, she cuts 2 pieces of cake, 1 for her and one for Eloise, and the rest goes back in the fridge.

They both sat there looking at photos and eating cake together.

Karen and Eloise had both received gifts they hadn’t expected.. Eloise received joy, a love for her name, and she no longer sought validation from others. Karen had received a renewed faith in Jesus, a faith that would no longer be based on other people

Fast Foward

Mom! Yes, dear. Eloise was always fond of her mother’s yes, dear… Happy Mother’s Day! Ooohh!! Her mother was surprised at the welcome interruption. Eloise presents her mother with a recipe book that has Karen on the side with recipes created over the last several years. Included are prayers and little notes in keeping with the tradition of great-great-grandmother Eloise.

Mom, thank you for telling me about who great-great-grandmother was. I know I’ve said this before, but it was great for me during that time because kids were so cruel, picking on me, but since that day in the kitchen, I wear my name proudly. Karen, speechless, also received a gift that day; she received the gift Jesus surely knew she needed. To be reminded that she was loved and that there was now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Thank you, Eloise Karen says to her daughter, I appreciate you reminding me, and your willingness to ask questions also healed something in me. You reminded me of what I had forgotten that Great-Great-Grandmother Eloise taught me, and my fondness for her is what made me name you after her. Why not after Grandma? Oh mom agreed when I had you, she also felt I should name you Eloise, she saw so much of her in you, even when you were just a newborn. Great Great Grandmother Eloise died when I was still very young. She unfortunately did start slowing down by the time I was 10, and by the following year, she was gone. Jesus most certainly knew I would need you in my life.

Thanks, Mom, and I couldn’t be the me I am without you. I wish I had known her personally, but having known you and grandma, I got to know her through you both.

Much had happened since that day in the kitchen.

Karen had found a small group who understood her.

After that day in the kitchen, it was just her and Eloise watching different churches online and reading scripture through their phone app. Eventually, Eloise got a print bible and then shared it with her mother.

Some time later, Karen was in the grocery store and saw a flyer for a community game night at the neighborhood recreation center.

She thought this might be a family fun night that she and Eloise could do. At the recreation center was where Karen met the small group she is now a part of. After about a year of knowing these women, she was willing to share more of herself with them and found that many of them shared similar hurts as she had. Through her time doing life with them, she learned that some of them had given up on church but had not given up on Jesus, and so many of them found other ways to stay faithful to Jesus without going to church. They had told her Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life; there is no real life apart from Jesus. She knew they were right. She’d been so frozen toward church or people in church that she hadn’t thought of following Jesus in ways that were healthy for her. Still, even after all this time, she was only slightly thawed toward church people because of them surrounding her. She knew it wasn’t everyone in church, but she still had things she was working on.

Eloise, now 26, had taken up Pastry Arts at the local college. She got her degree and then transferred to the nearest big city for her bachelor's degree. It was hard being away from mom for the first time in her life, she cried and her mother cried too, but Eloise was close enough that she could come home on the weekends. Her mother insisted that she needed to make some new friends and even bring those friends back home with her if she wanted. Eloise has suffered heartbreak and disappointment, a health scare, and several other things up to this point, but through it all, she had her mother’s love and support, for which she is grateful.

They both learned a lot throughout this time that had passed. They learned they had support, but most of all, they learned that Jesus really would never leave them or forsake them. He was there through it all.