AMANDA IN FLIGHT

1500wds

AMANDA IN FLIGHT

“HELP! HELP! I’VE GOT TO GET OFF! PLEASE, PLEASE!” My cousin Amanda is screaming and banging on the small window of the jet. We are flying to Palm Beach, Florida, where her dad passed away from a heart attack only two days ago and her mother, in a state of shock and hysteria, is waiting for her. They were my favorite aunt and uncle and Amanda was so grateful to have me go along. Being claustrophobic, she had never flown before.

She is screaming so loudly now the stewardess rushes over to us. She is starched and lovely in her professional outfit and her long fingernails are polished a deep violet to match her lipstick. Her name tag says: GINNY in violet and blue letters.

“What’s the trouble?” she asks, pointing to Amanda. “Are you not well?”

“I’m sorry.” I say apologetically. “She’s my cousin and she’s very claustrophobic.”

“Sweetie, she says in that stewardess tone that really means you better shut the f- up. “You must calm down. You’re frightening the other passengers.”

Amanda stares at her as if she is something from another planet. “You don’t understand!” She stamps her foot and it lands on mine. Her sneakers are very heavy. “I have to get off!” Her voice escalates as she tries to climb over my legs. I try to pull her back down at the same time the stewardess is trying to pull her up.

“Come with me, sweetie, and we’ll give you something to calm you down. We’re trained for this sort of thing.” And I think what kind of training can one have other than being head nurse on a mental ward?

“I’ve already taken two Valiums and they didn’t work.”

“Oh, then we’ll find you something else,” Ginny offers. “Perhaps something stronger—some brandy?”

“I DON’T DRINK!” Amanda is adamant. “I tell you I have to get out of here!” And she pushes her way over me, past the stewardess, who is holding on to me so as not to fall. She has caught her arm in the strap of Amanda’s bag.

“You can’t get off! Don’t you understand—you’re in the air—in mid-flight.”

“Of course, that’s why I have to get out.” She begins running down the aisle, bumping into another stewardess who is serving a woman coffee and Danish. The tray goes flying and coffee is all over the woman’s satin skirt.

“What is going on?” The woman, sitting next to her husband who is holding a Chihuahua, says, “Who is this crazy person?” Ginny and the other stewardess try to calm her down. They are attempting to rub the coffee off the woman’s skirt with a couple of paper napkins. “I don’t believe this, look at my skirt and I’m on my way to my niece’s wedding. We’re having brunch in a very classy restaurant.”

Ginny, who is clutching Amanda’s wrists says, “We’re very sorry. The airline will certainly pay to have it dry cleaned.”

“Really? the woman glares, “Now how would we do that before my brunch?”

“Who cares about your stupid skirt?” Amanda says. “I’m going insane. I have to get out of here—can’t anyone understand that?”

I’m standing behind her, not knowing what else to do and I must admit a feeling of panic is starting to come over me. I fear I might start screaming and think—no, they’re can’t be two of us—one of us has to stay sane.

Some of the passengers are screaming: GET THAT WOMAN THE HELL OUT OF HERE! Twin boys of around four years are crying. At that moment an elderly, distinguished man comes over. Ginny looks relieved. “Are you a doctor?” she asks.

“Well, sort of…” he answers. “I’m a Veterinarian—Board certified.”

Ginny shrugs. “I’m afraid that won’t help.”

“Oh, but of course I can be of help. I have some tranquilizers in here.” He points to his bag and lowers his voice, “Also pain killers and…and something even a little stronger.”

I begin to tremble. Afraid now what they might do to my cousin. Amanda screams, then cries out: “Oh, my god, they’re going to kill me,” and she pulls on my arm. “Don’t let them, Barb, don’t let them!”

“No, no one is going to hurt you, I promise,” I say firmly, but am feeling a little woozy, not sure if it’s the altitude, the situation, or my own nerves. “Give me your hand.” She puts her hand in mine. I can feel her nails digging in.

Now the Chihuahua is barking like crazy, as if he, with his dog sense, knows who the doctor really is. The doctor reaches out to pet him and the animal opens his small mouth and takes a large bite.

“Ouch! You little…bitch!” The doctor screams and grabs a muzzle from his bag. ‘‘Muzzle that dog, immediately!” he instructs the husband who is holding the dog tightly against him.

“Don’t you dare—can’t you see how agitated he is by all this commotion? That woman!” And he points to Amanda, “She’s responsible for all this.”

“I’m sorry sir,” Ginny says firmly. “You’ll have to put your dog in the carrier under the seat and he must stop barking.”

Reluctantly, the man puts the dog into the carrier, holding it on his lap.

“Under the seat. You were informed of the rules.”

The man puts a treat into the dog’s mouth and places the carrier in front of his legs so he can still pet him. The doctor takes some liquid from his bag, pours it on his hand and winces. It is still bleeding and Ginny offers to wrap it with some gauze.

The woman with the coffee stained skirt pets the dog. “There, there, Chuckiepoo. The bad man is leaving.” The other stewardess has left to attend to another passenger who is calling out for water.

The woman says to Ginny—“This has to be cleaned. Have you anything?”

“Well, we do have some cleaning liquid in one of the cabinets.”

“Fine,” the woman answers and begins to take off her skirt.

“Honey,” the husband says, “you can’t take that off here. For god sakes, go into the rest room.”

“Yes, yes, of course.” Embarrassed, she pulls up her skirt, squeezes out of the seat and gives Amanda a glare. “Crazy bitch!” She waddles with the skirt mid-way, her stomach flopping over the top and heads to the back with everyone staring.

Amanda begins to cry. Her hands are clenched against my chest.

“Here take this.” The doctor offers her something from his bag, and then says to the husband—“I told you to muzzle that dog.”

“I will not!” the man shouts. “He was just agitated by all this. He’s never bitten anyone before and look—how quietly he’s lying in his carrier and…yes—he’s had all his shots.”

“I won’t take that!” Amanda shouts. “You’re going to knock me out—just because I’m afraid to be up in the air.”

A young woman in jeans and a tee shirt stands up. “You know she’s right. We’re up here and we can’t get out.”

“Yeah,” another voice bellows. “I guess we’re trapped.”

One of the twins stands up. “Momeee, I’m scared.”

“I wanna go home…I wanna go home,” the other one is crying. “We can’t fly…cause we have no wings. Where are my wings, momeee—did you forget them?”

“Look, what you’ve done!” the stewardess cries, “You’ve created pandemonium and we have at least another hour before we land.”

“I want out!” Another voice screams. “We’re trapped in this damn thing—in the air!”

Oh my god!” another yells. “We’re really trapped!”

There is a nun stroking her rosary beads with her eyes closed and two women are embracing, pressing their lips together. Amanda has stopped crying now and is walking back to her seat with me holding her hand. The whole plane has become chaotic and Ginny and another stewardess are running back and forth handing out cocktails and pills to whoever wants them. They’re all holding out their hands. “Me! Me! Me!”

And all this has calmed Amanda down. She sits quietly staring out the window. The dog stops barking and the husband is calling for another cocktail. The doctor is slumped in his seat, his bandaged hand resting on his bag, his head bobbing slightly. The woman comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her, dragging the damaged skirt. The twins are both trying to sit on the mother’s lap who is attempting to calm them down with tootsie pops that have become caught in the strands of her blonde hair.

“They’ll stone us when we get off.” I whisper to Amanda.

“Do you think I was having a panic attack?”

“Yes, at least a ten!”

And for some reason she starts laughing and then I do too, trying hard not to think of the trip back, wondering if we have enough Valiums for both of us.