Dear Lucy, life is beautiful, but you don’t have a clue. I love you so much, and you’re so pretty.
Your long brown hair with strawberry highlights glistened in the sun. Your one green eye and one blue.
You are somebody who you would confuse with Aphrodite. You have the beauty of a goddess.
*
Dear Lucy, all I can ever think of is you.
My mind was infatuated with you all the time, but not in a weird way. I would walk past a store, and see something you would like, then think, oh, Lucy would like this.
I just wish you would talk to me more. If the last thing I ever heard was your voice, I would die smiling.
*
Dear Lucy, I’m afraid you don’t love me the way I love you. I’ve always yearned for a best friend like you.
But I wish we could be more than just friends. I saw the way you tried to hold my hand today. Your eyes shone like a spotlight that I’ll always be able to follow. You just don’t know how much I love you, don’t you?
*
Dear Lucy, you deserve the world.
You deserve the world, the solar system, the unknown planets, and every comet and meteor that has ever soared.
You’re gonna be up there one day, Lucy. You’re gonna be one of the brightest stars, bleeding into every ounce of darkness. Will that ever be enough?
*
Dear Lucy, you’re a unique, adorable, lovable little fairy. I love you.
When you were little, you used to cut out fairies from magazines and put them all over your room. Your whole room was fairy themed.
Don’t tell anyone, but I still have some of those cutout fairies that you gave me a few months ago. I’ll always keep them. If we grow old together, I want to make a time capsule.
The fairies will be in there for sure.
*
Dear Lucy, I love you so much. But I’m also scared to get abandoned again.
I remember when we tried to be more. It didn’t work, but I want it back, Lucy. My little fairy. I knew it was for the best, but I just want you, Lucy.
I’ll give you love letters with little pressed flowers. You’ve always liked canaries. I’ll write a song just for you.
*
Dear Lucy, I’ll love you forever my love.
When you’re sick and can’t get out of bed, I’ll hug and kiss you. I just want to be there for you, Lucy.
You always liked to doodle sunsets. We can move to the beach, and the sunsets won’t just be pencil and paper anymore. The taste of the salt in the air and the feeling of bodies pressed against each other every night.
I can give you endless sunsets, Lucy.
*
Dear Lucy, I hope I can hold you in my arms one day like you promised back in August.
The fireflies, who are really fairies, lit up all around you. The moon was bright. It left a shadow on your face. I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful.
A ladybug flew onto my nose and we laughed until our stomachs hurt. You laid your head on my shoulder and I’ve never been the same since, Lucy.
*
Dear Lucy, you’re the only one I have eyes for. I think about you all the time.
There’s never been a girl with strawberry highlights.
There’s never been a girl with one eye green, the other blue.
Nobody has ever looked like you, Lucy. I want to text you to make sure you’re doing okay, but will you respond?
Look, Lucy, I know you’re asleep, but…
*
Dear Lucy, I should have told you I loved you before you left.
I say it all the time now. I wish I had said it more around you. It’s only four letters, yet it’s probably the hardest thing to say.
Why did you leave, my Lucy girl? You’re like finding a fairy. It makes you just want to dance in flowers forever, surrounded by fairies just like you.
Lucy, do you still believe in fairies?
*
Dear Lucy, my lips ache for your fingers. Please call.
I’ve called you a lot, just to hear that voicemail of yours. Even when just talking, your voice is just angelic, Lucy. I wanna hear it more, Lucy.
*
Dear Lucy, I love you forever gorgeous girl. The stars have gained a shining one.
You used to go on and on about freckles. You were covered in them, all different shapes and sizes. You had Ursa Major traced on your nose bridge and onto your cheeks.
You used to let me trace it.
I’ll never look up at the sky again without thinking about you and your brown freckles against ivory skin, Lucy.
Hopefully, Ursa Major will catch me. But I’ve always been falling for you.
*
Dear Lucy, I see my favorite songs on your playlist, and I’ll always think of you.
You started a playlist named “me and you”. I listen to it all the time now.
You’ve still got all your hopeless love songs and I’ve got my angst-filled indie rock. The whole playlist is basically Olivia Rodrigo and Noah Kahan.
But what could we ever want more?
Lucy, I want to listen to our playlist with you sometime again.
I really miss it.
*
Dear Lucy, I will always love you no matter what.
If you ever cut where nobody will be able to see, I’ll still love you. If you start to drink away your sins, I’ll still love you.
In a world where everything feels uncertain, Lucy, and everything is always rocky and shifting…
I’ll always be your constant. My love is all-enduring.
I’m your constant, Lucy. Always have been, always will be.
*
Dear Lucy, I’m scared I’ll want you forever. I’ve never loved someone this much who always ends up hurting me.
I wish you would text. Call, say anything to me.
You’re truly like the stars, Lucy.
Loving you is like loving the stars. You don’t expect them to love you back. But I really wish you would, Lucy.
I’m trying to get better, Lucy.
The knife is just searing deeper, though.
*
Dear Lucy, in my quiet days I think about our moments together, and I still hope that we could be like we used to.
I want those August nights again, Lucy. Talking about our future gazing up at the night sky.
Who knew it would all end a few weeks later?
*
Dear Lucy, we’re over already but it feels like it was just starting.
I never got to do so many things with you.
Now, those things just live in my dreams that cloud my vision at night. I see you all the time, Lucy.
*
*
*
Lucy? I know it’s late and I know you’re asleep but I just want you to know that I still love you. I always have and always will. I’m your constant. I want more nights of fireflies and fairies and star-gazing.
Lucy, I love you to the moon and to Saturn and back and around.
I cut out some more fairies for you here, do you think of me when you see the other ones?
It’s okay if you don’t feel the same.
But I really miss you and I want those nights back.
The ladybugs, canaries, fireflies, and all the stars in the sky have been waiting for you, Lucy. The sky looks different now, without you.
*
*
*
Lucy, I’m sorry.
I already miss you.
I love you forever, my little fairy.
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I liked how you went all the way with the idea. And I have to admit when I read one one green eye and one blue, I thought for half the story the target of the narrators affection was a Bordie Collie! Perhaps its for a child who has grown up? I certainly long for those days back. Good work!
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Thanks so much, Scott! Ha, Border Collie is a good assumption! My cousin and I both have versions of heterochromia, which is two different colored eyes, I have partial heterochromia, meaning one of my eyes has a wedge of yellow (I have blue eyes), and she has one blue and green! Thanks so much for the comment!
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Wow hazel, another touching story! Reading this was like reading a love note from years ago. I'm excited to see what comes next! <3
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tyyy
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This felt less like reading a story and more like finding a stack of letters someone never meant anyone else to see. The fairies, fireflies, freckles and August nights made Lucy feel very real, which is why the silence around her becomes so painful as the piece goes on. I think what got me most was the way love and grief slowly become almost indistinguishable. “The sky looks different now, without you” is such a simple line, but it really stayed with me.
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Thank you so much, Marjolein! Quick as always, and that means a lot. I'm glad that you enjoyed it! Thanks for such a great read. :)
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It used to be the other way around. You always being the first with my stories. Good old days. 🤗 🤭
I'm really happy you're back but I told this maybe 4 times already? Getting older....💛
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Oh God, yeah 🥲 I'm so sorry, Marjolein! I'm getting there, trust me! I'm gonna get back to commenting, but I'm still riding some waves, so.. yeah! Thanks!
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