She arrived at the building like a storm, her mental thunderstorm prefacing her arrival. Small but potent. She tipped her driver well, but did it sarcastically. The driver whisked away seemingly as fast as he could. She flagged a man whom she thought might be a doorman, having had the dumb luck of arriving when she did. The man raised his eyebrows at her, but obliged her by opening the door. She also tipped him.

The moderator greeted everyone and started reciting the Serenity Prayer. Midway through the line, “the courage to change the things I can,” Marty was interrupted by a young woman strutting into the room. She interrupted without apology, as if she were the only person present, and asked if this was the meeting she was looking for. The moderator confirmed, "Yes, this is Social Cueus Anonymous," and added perhaps a little too enthusiastically, "It looks like you're definitely a candidate for this."

Molly introduced herself to the group, clarifying she wasn’t a repeat offender but had been sent to attend this meeting as part of an agreement. Others in the group muttered, “That’s what we all said our first time.”

***

“My name is Fred, and it’s been 13 days since I invaded someone’s personal space." “Very good, Fred, thank you," said Marty. “You’re making progress; however, please pay attention to the room to know when to introduce yourself. Ann wasn’t finished yet. Ann, please continue.”

Shyly, Ann went on. “I’ve been trying the steps in the book that you told me to, Marty, but it feels like I’m still making people uncomfortable.”

“Please explain more,” he suggested, in a supportive tone.

“Well, I read in the SCEA manual, guideline 4, that there is good and bad eye contact. I have been working on my length of contact and site-line placement.”

“That’s perfect, based on your 3rd degree staring citation, that’s the correct literature.” Marty offered.

“However, I’ve still been given warnings for other types of stares.”

“I see that in the file here Ann, it appears that although you’re not making over-extended eye contact with individuals, it mentions you are with inanimate objects. That can cause nervousness in others in various ways, sometimes referred to as plotting. Set your next step to work on the length of focus. We like to call it glancing. Give that a try Ann - great progress!”

***

As we all know, once the government mandate came into effect, forcing people to rely less on social media for their only human interaction, it was quite an adjustment merging back into the population. The Social Cueues Enforcement Agency was established to assist in that transition, and it’s definitely not an easy one. We’re all learning here, so don’t get frustrated. This is an open and supportive environment for learning together.

Most of the group sat with their arms crossed, listening. Marty decided this was a perfect transition to learn a new lesson. “Alright, group, let’s focus on guideline 3 in the SCAE guide - body language.”

***

Fred was percolating like a coffee pot; he couldn’t contain himself.. The reason he had several citations. Invading personal space, inability to allow others to speak, amongst others. He would strike up a conversation with anyone and everyone without invitation. He was here to learn social timing and etiquette, and especially boundaries, of which he had none.

***

In our current world, people have been abstaining from interaction for so long that social distancing has become a form of pure isolation. Attempting to get everyone to co-mingle again was more like an experiment at a zoo with a bunch of monkeys than anything. Social guidelines had been suggested, courses had been taught, but most people had simply lost sight of what it meant.

Therefore, the SCEA had been created.

The basic guidelines were as follows:

Engage and dis-engage promptly. Failure to do so can result in a citation for stalking or bombardment.

The personal space perimeter is considered to be 12-16 inches if you know someone, and 3 feet or further if you do not.

Inappropriate contact is not permitted; however, some level of physical interaction is necessary to keep our humanity. Shaking hands for three shakes and one pat on the back are allowed; full-on hugs are not.

Body language is a significant signal of desired behavior and/or response

Crossed arms signify disinterest and should act as a warning. Continuing to hold this pose, however, can result in a stand-offish citation.

Raised eyebrows signify a questioning manner and should be remedied through thoughtful answers.

Fake yawns signify boredom; defer to guideline #1 if this is encountered.

Eye contact is permitted and should be maintained; however, holding it for too long can result in a staring citation. A glance is the proper duration of eye contact.

There is also a sub-guideline for eye placement - the other person's sight line or above, not below.

Following these guidelines will foster a healthy social environment and a cohesive society. Failure to do so will result in punishment from the Social Cue Enforcement Agency.

***

Molly perused through the pages of the guide - she had never heard of this until she got her citation. It was her turn to share.

“Hi, I’m Molly, from what it says on my ticket. I think I broke all of the guidelines:”

“That’s ok,” Marty offered, “If you’re going to achieve something, you might as well go full George Orwell.. Please continue.”

“I was at the airport for a work trip - according to this, I cut people off, invaded their personal areas, talked out of turn, and generally had no regard for others. ”

“That is quite a basket of social disorder, Molly. The first step is to admit where we have failed.” Marty said questioningly

“I don’t believe I did fail, though, is the thing.” Molly retorted.

“Alright, group, do you remember the stage 5 exercise? Let’s show Molly.”

They all got up and got as close to Molly as they could - talking, staring, and generally invading her personal space in every way. She got the picture.

***

The meeting adjourned. Everyone exchanged a glance with each other, maintaining eye contact for two seconds (no more, no less). Some then had a brisk, yet firm handshake or a side hug (never a full-on hug, of course), leaving SCA more aware but still socially awkward.