Remember

“Heather…”

Do you remember?

The summer of 2004, where we took our first cruise? When our god-forsaken parents decided to introduce us, though we had known each other for nine of our miserable seventeen years already? And flipping them off behind our backs?

Do you remember?

Swimming with the dolphins, falling out of the ship into the ocean below, winning the lottery just to find out it was fake?

Do you remember?

Getting sunburned and buying candy for each other? Hiding from our parents? Acting eight instead of over twice that age?

Do you remember?

Playing charades, Uno, and Battleship? Laughing at dumb inside jokes we knew we would forget? Getting stung by pink-and-blue jellyfish?

Do you remember?

Getting drunk because the ship had passed through Cuba’s waters, where the legal drinking age was sixteen? Playing tag and hide-and-seek like we were ten again? Daring the other to text a friend and say, “I’m in love with you”?

Do you remember?

Finding that couple kissing? Realizing our parents weren’t pride allies? Writing crazy fanfiction and watching anime together?

Do you remember?

Switching our names for a day? Learning sign language and how to do a cartwheel? Telling some random person we were both teen moms?

Do you remember?

Getting sick and wishing we were back on land? Having sugar rushes where we would pretend we were aliens on an uninhabitable, lava-filled planet? Stuffing our faces with gourmet steak?

Do you remember?

Sneaking into the kitchen? The first-class quarters? Letting a hundred-dollar bill fly away and then finding said bill in a seagull’s beak?

Do you remember?

Swimming with the manatees and whales and losing our breath? Dunking each other under the water when it was shallow enough? Hiding each other’s things?

Do you remember?

Stealing my shampoo and pouring a bucket of ice-cold seawater on me while I was showering? Staying up until midnight staring at the stars? Having those stupid in-depth conversations about heaven and death?

Do you remember?

Doing each other’s hair? Following instructions from a YouTube video where the comments were purely confusion? Forgetting we had skirts on when we tried to do handstands?

Do you remember?

Forcing our parents to room together half-way through the trip so that we could spend more time together? Finally finding the pool that took up most of the ship? Almost falling off the slides in said pool?

Do you remember?

Video-calling the group chat because our friend group said they had missed us? Playing truth or dare over the phone, where truth was picked 90% of the time? Making plans to call the group again since we were running out of things to do?

Do you remember?

Binge-watching Demon Slayer? Talking about what would happen if we skipped the first day of school? Planning our college years?

Do you remember?

Being dared to either kiss me or lick a block of wood on the next call? Taking ten minutes to decide? And then leaving the room for another five?

Do you remember?

Making the whole atmosphere tense when you returned? Cupping my face in your hands? Staring into my eyes while everyone on the call held their breath?

Do you remember?

Hesitating when you leaned in? Finally pressing your lips against mine? Keeping them there for much longer than was necessary?

Do you remember?

Leaving early and sitting outside while I ended the call? Me begging you to come back in and tell me what was going on? Slowly opening the door with tears in your eyes?

Do you remember?

Being pulled into my arms while you sobbed? Calming down after an hour of my comfort? Lying to me about ‘not wanting to cheat on your boyfriend’?

Do you remember?

Eventually confessing he was fake? That you had lied to everyone to keep your parents happy? Coming out to me that you had no interest in boys anyway?

Do you remember?

Sitting in silence in the room and thanking God we had pushed our parents to room together? Whispering my name? Kissing me again?

Do you remember?

My surprise, my shock, and my astonishment? Pulling away while threatening to break down again? My sweet words of acceptance?

Do you remember?

Your official, embarrassed confession from under your covers? Being pulled to the pool by me once I had convinced you to put on your swimsuit at 1am in the morning? Getting dunked under the water by my hand like the first half of the trip?

Do you remember?

Getting coaxed to open your eyes? Realizing my hand was on your waist far too late? Having our third kiss that night?

Do you remember?

Coming up for air and tangling your hand in my soaked hair? Feeling my arm on your neck as we lost count of the kisses? Getting together as we dried off under the stars and the pitch-black sky?

Do you remember?

Forgetting the other bed and cuddling together until morning in our room? Kissing any chance we got for the rest of the trip? Hiding the whole thing from our parents?

Do you remember?

Getting home and telling our friends nothing happened that night? Hoping we were never found out? Changing each other’s contacts to ‘My Love’?

Do you remember?

Staying completely hidden for years? Becoming masters of finding secluded places so we could kiss in peace? The accident?

Do you remember?

The crash as you drove home late at night? The blaring sirens of the ambulance? The hospital lights as I stood by your bed?

Do you remember?

How I was there, day and night? How the nurses knew me by name and let me stay with you, even though I wasn’t supposed to? How your parents didn’t visit once?

Do you remember?

Opening your eyes and seeing my messed-up, sleep-deprived face? The touch from my hand on your cheek, the cold metal of the ring on my finger brushing your chin? Raising a hand to see your matching one?

Do you remember?

Looking into my crying eyes? Dropping your hand? My screams as the machines monitoring your heart went flat?

Do you remember?

The shock when the doctor manually restarted your heart? How the machine started beeping steadily again? How my lips rested on yours for what felt like hours in relief?

Do you remember?

Finally waking up and looking at me in confusion? Asking who I was? Hearing the nurses talk about amnesia?

Do you remember?

My shocked look as I begged them for it not to be true? My cries and sobs? My pure despair?

Do you remember?

How I still stayed with you? How I tried to fill you in on everything that had happened in your life? How I could barely look at you for the fear of having you look at me like a stranger?

Do you remember our past?

Do you remember my sadness?

Do you remember anything at all?

Please, Heather…

Please remember.