It Will Last

"We'll be together forever, right?" She said, looking up at his glowing green eyes. His arms were wrapped steadily around her waist, anchoring her. She was afraid if he ever let go that she would fall. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, and she buried her face in his neck. Sometimes, it hurt to look at him. But she didn't tell him that.

"Yeah, yeah, we'll be together forever," He said, not meeting her eyes fully. She could feel her heart plummeting, her rib cage barely catching it. She took a hitched breath. With him going away to study abroad in Australia, she didn't know how they would make it. She wasn't good at this long-distance stuff. She'd tried and failed before.

She ignored the pang in her chest and smiled up at him, kissing him like he was the last person on earth. She couldn't help but feel like it felt wrong, like she was pretending. She'd never felt that way before. It didn't feel good.

So she did the only thing she could do, deepening the kiss. He didn't react well, which she found abnormal. Usually, he was the one to deepen something, to bring it to the next level. Instead, he pulled his mouth away from hers, wiping his lips with his sleeve. She felt horrible, like he was poisonous or something.

"I'm sorry, babe, I can't do it tonight." He said, standing up and ruffling his hair.

"O-okay. I just wanted... I dunno. I mean, you're leaving in two days. I want to savor this while it lasts." She said, smoothing her shirt down and putting her hair back up in a ponytail. She didn't see any remorse in his eyes, and she felt like something was wrong again. She didn't know why he was pulling away. If anything, she just wanted to be closer to him during these final days. He'd be gone for a whole year. It wasn't like she could pretend that everything in between them would be all sunshine and rainbows. If anything, it would be the opposite. And both of them were scared, that's the truth.

***

She sat down on her couch, reading her new obsession. She sighed and decided to call him. They hadn't called in forever, and he hadn't been texting. Hey, she texted him, can we talk? The message was delivered. She sat down and continued reading, awaiting the buzz of a text or call.

Thirty agonizing minutes later, it finally came. Yeah, he said, but I don't have a bunch of time. She didn't care. To just hear his voice was good. She added a thumbs-up emoji and called him. He picked up after the third ringtone, his signature move.

"Hey, Ginny," He said, the faint backdrop of ocean waves in the background. Someone yelled something to him, and he responded something intelligible.

"Hi, Tyler," She said, curling up on the couch. She took a subtle sip of her Earle Grey tea and sighed. "How much time do you have? I'm assuming you're at the beach," She said, hearing another shout behind her. "I'm on the phone with Ginny!" Tyler shouted. Oh, she thought, he's told them about me.

"Sorry, the boys are being annoying." He said.

"Oh. That's okay," She said.

"It's so hot here, Ginny. I'm getting so tan,"

"Well, it's cold here. Just yesterday it snowed three inches. I would be freezing if it weren't for heating."

"Ha, that's fun. Yeah, I'm literally at the beach right now in shorts and no shirt."

"Aw, I wish I could be there."

"I know. I do too. But hey, I might be able to pull some strings, and maybe you can come for a semester."

"Really? That would be awesome, Ty."

"Yeah. Oh, shoot. The guys want me to go surfing. Did I mention I learned how to surf? It's really fun, just like in the movies."

"Oh, okay. Well, bye."

"Bye. Love you."

"Love you too."

He yelled at his friends to shut up the next time he got a call from Ginny. She was ten thousand miles away and all he wanted to do was kiss her right now. He told them that she was his girlfriend and that they better never be like that again. He told them it pissed him and her off. They said sorry. He didn't believe them. He told them that he freaking cared about her so maybe they should go man up and get somebody to care about. Then he grabbed his surfboard and walked off to his condo.

She turned on the movie she'd been watching and turned the volume up to drown out her thoughts. After the movie was done, she microwaved a mac'n'cheese cup and ate it after cooling it down. She could feel hot tears streaming down her cheeks. She had never felt so lonely. She'd always had her parents and brother, or some friends, or Tyler. Now she was alone and she didn't know what to do. She felt terrible at the thought. Her lip was quivering as she ate the mac'n'cheese. She felt pathetic. This was her life now, unless she invited the two girls who claimed to be her friends.

He sighed and sat down on his bed after a long shower to get all the sand out. "What am I doing with my life?" he thought aloud. "First, I come here to Australia and I meet some guys who I think are cool but they're really jerks. Then, I decide to never call my girlfriend because I think we're bad. I didn't kiss her fully on the last night we had with each other for a year. Then, she finally calls me and I'm a jerk the whole time, yelling at my friends and only talking to her for like, ten minutes. Not even that. At least I said I loved her. At least she said it back. But still. I'm a loser." He said. He suddenly hoped that his snoopy next door neighbor wasn't listening through the ultra-thin walls.

She ate all of her mac'n'cheese and then decided to call it a day. She cleaned up from her depressing dinner and showered, trying not to fall asleep as she shaved her legs. She thought of him, his voice. She sighed and felt more tears falling. The long distance was depressing. She had said that night that they would be together forever. She wasn't so sure anymore. She put on her pajamas and doom-scrolled on YouTube and some other mindless apps in her bed before she finally went to sleep. She could feel her chest tightening when she came across the happy couple videos. No happy couples that were ten thousand miles apart. She was way up in Chicago and he was in Sydney. She sighed and cried herself to sleep.

He texted his friends later that day. Sorry, guys. I guess I'm still not over leaving her. I should get over it. Sorry. He said. He sounded pitiful in it, but at this point, he didn't care. He waited thirty minutes for their delayed replies, which were all along the same lines of: Oh, yeah, we get it. You're fine, man. You're good, bro. But he literally couldn't stand being apart from her anymore. It was killing him. That's when he realized he was very much so in love.

She woke up the next day with puffy eyes and a runny nose. "Great," she said aloud, "I'm sick." No, duh. She looked terrible and felt terrible. She did some three-am-style-intrusive thoughts Googling, asking AI if you could get sick from emotional distress. She couldn't figure out a final answer, really. But apparently it still was a thing. She missed him so much it was literally making her sick. It was weird and she didn't like it. But she had to get over it. She decided to call him again. Anything to hear his voice, see him in the flesh.

His phone rang, and he jumped up at the sound. He smiled hugely when he saw her name on his phone. He picked it up. "Hey, babe," he said, sitting back down on his bed. He saw her face, and it looked rough. She had puffy, bloodshot eyes, and her nose was running. She had her hair up in a bun, and honestly looked beautiful. She smiled weakly and said, "Hi, Ty. It's nice to see your face. I wish I could kiss it but that's not our world right now, which is sad." She frowned in a silly way, and he laughed a little. "I miss you too," He said.

She and him talked for an hour until she had to go to an Urgent Care because he was concerned for her health. She just had the flu, but she felt all bubbly inside that he had cared. All her worries of them failing had faded away into a back spot in her brain, squished out by all the fuzzy, happy thoughts. Being this sick sort of felt like being drunk, but in a good way. She knew what was happening, but she felt all fuzzy and happy and bubbly. She liked it. She didn't want it to go away.

He decided to eat out with some friends from surfing that night. It was Mary Grace, Emmie, Walter, Jeremy, Jeremiah, and Laurel. All of them were cool, he thought. None of them were jerks like The Boys. They didn't interrupt calls, or at least that he knew of. When he got to the casual restaurant that they would be eating at, he sighed. His hair wasn't too combed, but this was casual, right? It would be okay. He walked to the table where his friends were sitting. He was the last one, and that made him feel somewhat embarrassed. They laughed and ate yummy food. Mary Grace asked for his number. He said yeah reluctantly. She would not replace Ginny.

She took some yucky pills that the doctor had prescribed and took it easy for the rest of the day. As everybody hates to admit, the pills made her feel better, like she could actually function without needing to blow her nose and take a power nap every five seconds. Her and him had been texting for the entire day. He had gotten a girl's number. But don't worry, he said, because she'll never replace you, Ginny. I swear. Cross my heart and hope to die. She smiled in spite of the crawling feeling in her stomach. But she knew that he was loyal, right? She still didn't know why he'd been so distant that night. She would never know, it seemed.

He looked at the ceiling in his tiny, ultra-thin-walled condo and sighed. Oh, how he missed her. He couldn't get over it. He got up and made some calls, and pulled some strings. Then he called her. "Ginny! Ginny! I have the best news!" He practically screamed into the phone. She laughed over the phone and said, "What is it?" She asked, the excitement building inside her. "You can come next semester, Ginny! I got it all worked out! You can stay with me or with some of my surfing friends... This is gonna be epic!" He said.

She really couldn't help but feel two tangled up feelings. A side of her was overjoyed to go spend time with him, but a really small sliver was scared. Australia? She didn't know what to do. "Oh, Ty, that's actually so amazing!" She said, for once not faking the cheer in her voice. He laughed and agreed. The next semester was in just two weeks, and those two weeks couldn't come any sooner. But still, the sliver existed and it crept up inside her. But she pushed it away. It couldn't be there- she would finally get to see him again.

He counted down the hours until the day finally came where he would pick her up from the airport. They had been texting all of her flight, and he had been with her through all of the stops, the delays, and the snoring person next to her for six hours. They laughed hard, and talked about what she would do with him. The excitement pillowing off of them was contagious, and soon Mary Grace and Emmie and Laurel were all blowing up the group chat with texts wondering about Ginny. What is she like? Mary Grace wanted to know. Does she play any sports? Emmie asked. Does she like surfing? Laurel said. His replies were: You'll see; Kinda; Maybe, I dunno. He was even more excited than them, though. Just seeing her would be like a bazillion Christmas Days combined and more. Yeah, that's how much he loved her.

She nervously stepped off the plane and walked through the tunnel thing they attached to the airport. She had that nervous/excited buzzing in her stomach, and she was ready to see him. She got a text from him saying where he was. She searched around for his sandy blonde hair and gorgeous smile. Suddenly, she found him. She sped up her pace to a jog and ran full-on movie style up to him, discarding her bags when his arms wrapped around her waist. "I missed you so much, babe," She said into his neck. "I did too," He said.

He hugged her so tightly, getting back all the time that they'd spent apart. She looked up at him, his green eyes staring back into hers. She kept her gaze as long as she could, putting into focus all of his features. His oh-so-cute dimples on his cheeks, the brown freckles dotted across the tip of his nose, the slight sunburn on the top of his nose, and yeah- he was right- how tan he'd gotten. She envied it. She didn't get tan, she got sunburned. But with enough sunscreen, she thought she'd be okay.

He lowered his face to meet hers, their foreheads meeting, but not quite their lips. It had bugged him, all this time he had spent away from her. But now all that didn't matter. They were there, together.

He pulled his forehead away, but only to meet his lips with hers.

At the beginning of his trip, she had thought that it wouldn't have lasted, that he would slowly drift away and find someone new. Over time, maybe that was slowly happening. But then something happened- like the invisible string that was their endgame, had finally been tightened after days of tension. Now it will last.

***

"I love you so much," He said to her.

"I love you so much," She said to him.