Life Happens

Tess sat on the edge of the bed staring at the alarm clock. This hadn't been her bedroom in almost 30 years but she remembered that alarm clock. She had been begging her father for her own phone for months. The answer was always no. When the Lloyds telephone/alarm clock combo showed up with no card for her 16th birthday, her father let her keep it with the condition that she got herself up for school every day - no more fighting. Every night for the rest of her high school career, she diligently set that alarm and every morning she got herself up and ready. 

If the calendar on her desk was accurate, she had somehow woken up in 1995. In her old bedroom, in her old house. She knew that this was the year that her dad worked night shifts and would be coming home any minute. He would go straight up to the bedroom and Tess would get herself ready for school. The last day crossed off on the calendar was Monday which meant today was Tuesday and she had at least another day before she would actually see him face to face. 

Maybe that would be enough time to figure out how she ended up back here. 

She remembered going to a party last night. It was a welcome to fall party, everything was pumpkin spice or apple & caramel.. She had talked to her grandkids this morning about their upcoming visit in November, they were excited about the chance of snow. She spent a little time in the garden and then she… What did she do next? It was all starting to feel a little fuzzy. Like waking up from a hard sleep and remembering bits and pieces of her dreams. Not enough to make sense but more than enough to feel real. 

She heard the car door slam in the driveway and knew that she had to do something. A quick glance in the mirror confirmed she was only 17 and not almost 50. She looked down at her outfit and realized that she was still wearing her LuLaRoe leggings and a Stevie Nicks tank top. Thankfully she never really kept up with the fashion trends so she didn't look that much out of place. But she should probably throw a flannel shirt over her tank top just to be on the safe side. Her sneakers were thrifted Converse, her hair style was long and wavy just like it had been for the majority of her life. Everything looked right.

Her leggings were proof that she really had travelled back in time and wasn't just dreaming about a future that didn't seem possible. Weren't they? LulaRoe leggings only came out about 10 years ago. But that seemed to be the only thread holding her to 2025. 

*****

Tess set out towards her old high school, or was it her current school? No - she couldn't think like that, The leggings - they were proof. 

She wasn't very popular, just a small group of friends. She was trying to remember her schedule, if her memory was right, she didn't have any classes with them until after 4th period. That gave her a little more than 2 ½ hours to find the one person that could possibly help her. 

Ezzy was considered an outcast at school but only because her mom was the official town loon. They were Romani people and her mom took the gypsy schtick a bit too far at times. They had an old gypsy caravan wagon in the front yard and Ms. Racz would do readings (palm, tea, etc) and she sold herbal mixtures from the garden that overtook their back yard. If anyone could help figure out what was going on, they could.

Tess didn't want to have to spend the next half hour sitting through homeroom. She had cut class and snuck out of school more times than she could count. She knew just when and where to sneak into the school. Mr. Webber, the p.e. teacher always took a cigarette break before the first period bell rang. He left the gym office door ajar so he could sneak off to his car without setting off any alarms. If she timed it just right, Tess could sneak in and get to Ezzys’ homeroom before the bell. 

She just had to figure out how to convince Ezzy to leave school with her.

Tess waited outside of Ezzys’ homeroom. When the bell rang, she moved closer to the door so she could grab Ezzy by the arm as she came through the door. There was a bathroom in the next hallway. All she had to do was get her there. 

Five…four… three… two… one…bell…

Jesse and Sam - they were going to be King and Queen

Skylar - teachers pet

Jimmy and Rachel - cute couple - kept to themselves

Chad, Brad, Tanner, and Brock - the jock squad

Followed by their cult like cheerleaders Madison, Taylor, Chloe, and Britney

Finally Ezzy. 

Tess reached for her arm. Ezzy looked confused for a moment. But then she saw the look of desperation in Tess’ eyes. They didn't even speak. Ezzy just followed her to the bathroom.

It took almost the full forty-five minutes of first period to convince Ezzy that something had happened. Tess tried to remain calm and rational through her explanation but by the end of it she was in tears. She couldn't remember if she had a husband, but she had to have had someone because she remembered talking to her grandkids and you can't get those without first having someone important in your life (or at least in your bed but she didn't say that part out loud). 

There were thirty years worth of fuzzy puzzle pieces, slivers of a fragmented memory. But not one in this town to hold onto. Tess had run from this place the moment she turned 18. Fast and far from a father that she wanted more from and a mother that never was. She had heard stories where Alzheimer's patients were given memorabilia from their lives to help them hold onto their lives. Tess had none of that here and short of stealing a car and driving the 2000 miles to her current home…or is it her future home? No - the leggings, damnit. The leggings were her thread to 2025.

Ezzy didn't understand half of what Tess was trying to say. Tess was just short of hysterical and Ezzy didn't really have the social skills to figure it out. She agreed to cut school and take Tess to her mother. 

***

Vadoma Racz was the talk of the town and had been for the last 10 years. She rode into town in a neon purple Chevy S-10 pulling a matching purple gypsy wagon. It was just her and her 6 year old little girl. No husband to be seen. She never held a regular job although she did sometimes fill in at the local pub. Even my father seemed to drink more on the nights she worked. She would pull her wagon to all of the local festivals and fairs. Ezzy explained that her mothers’ full name was translated into “the cunning fox who knows”. I thought it was cute. I wondered what Ezzys’ name meant. I didn't ask. 

Ms. Racz sat quietly and listened to Ezzy explain why she ditched school. There was no yelling or punishment like I was used to seeing in my own home. When Ezzy was done her speech. Ms. Racz turned to me and just waited. I wasn't sure where to begin, It seemed like Ezzy had covered all the basics. I wasn't sure where to start. I stumbled over my words. I stopped. Started again. She stood up and walked over to a hotplate she had in the back of the wagon. She put a kettle on. She started pulling jars of herbs from seemingly random shelves. I had heard of some of them, lemon balm, passionflower, and chamomile but I wasn't sure about calamus root or kava. Were they poisons? Was I wrong to come here? 

As she worked with her herbs, carefully measuring each into a cheesecloth pouch, she spoke. She was very soft spoken and I had to really lean in to hear her. She was from a long line of women who wanted nothing more than to live peacefully and help others. They had traveled most of Europe meeting nothing but troubles. It did not appear that society was ready for what the Romani Gypsy had to offer. When she found out she was pregnant, she decided it was time for a new start. She sailed to America and travelled around her new country looking for a place to call home. When her daughter was born, she named her Esmeralda which meant hope & renewal (huh, I didn't know that is what Ezzy was short for).

She poured me a cup of the tea mixture she had just brewed. She said it would help to calm my nerves and help strengthen my expression with true emotions and internal clarity. Sounded a bit fishy to me but here i was in 1995 instead of 2025 so I guess anything goes!

I sipped her tea and started with the moment I woke up this morning. I told her about staring at the alarm clock and reliving the memory of its existence. I told her about the fall party - I wore a long gypsy style skirt with a bell belt and an oversized sweater. I was sharing a cup of spiked apple cider with… who was I at the party with? I couldn't see his face but he felt somehow familiar. I shared the details of the phone call. My son was wanting to confirm the travel dates for November so he could put in his time off request. I told her about Scarlett - she wanted to use my kindle to read a book that my son said is inappropriate for her age. Oli and Cyr want to build an igloo. These details were much more clear than they were this morning. Less fuzzy. Ezzy said it was the calamus. I didn't know what that meant. 

I started to take off my leggings to show Ms. Racz the LulaRoe label but realized there was no in- house Googling to show her when the company was incorporated. The internet didn't even widely exist yet! Other than these leggings, how was I supposed to prove that I was indeed from the future? 

Is that what this was? Did I time travel to the past? What was in that apple cider spiked with?! At this point I wasn't sure what was the dream, 2025 or this version of 1995!

Time seemed to move very slowly as we went over details about this morning. Details about last night We talked about memories of my childhood. We went over the day to day of life for Ezzy. She talked about things that “I” did “yesterday” (30 years ago in my memory). I filled in the things that she didn't know. It was really surprising how much I could remember from 30 years ago but I still couldn't remember 24 hours ago. Vadoma said that's how memory works (did I just call her by her first name?) 

Sometimes we need others to help us fill in the gaps. The older we get the more gaps there are. Those of us who are lucky, hold fast to a person who can help us fill the gaps. Sometimes our own memories deceive us, they are biased. Our memories protect us from what hurts, they highlight the good days and shadow the bad ones. Sometimes we need someone who loves us enough to remind us that the bad times were real but weren't really so bad and the good times were better than we ever could have imagined.

The three of us sat and talked the rest of the afternoon. We talked about yesterday in 1995 and we talked about yesterday in 2025. Not long before dark, Ms. Racz asked Ezzy to walk me home and make sure I got into bed. I still didn't have answers. I didn't know how to get back to my life in 2025. I started to protest but Ezzys mom just put her hand on my cheek and told me to “be calm, life happens as it does”. I don't know what the hell it meant but it filled me with a sense of tranquility - I felt like everything was going to be ok, regardless of what happened when I woke up tomorrow. 

Ezzy and I talked mostly about nothing on the way to my house. She had a biology test Friday that she was nervous about, I never really cared about school or college - I just wanted to get far away from my not-family. Ezzy was serious about helping people in a way that her heritage had never been able to . 

***

I woke up to the phone ringing. The clock said it was almost 9:00 in the morning! I must have had one too many cocktails last night. I rolled to answer the phone with a grumbly hello. Ezzy was all but yelling at me! I was supposed to be ready for something. What was she freaking out about? How much did I drink last night? Wait - Ezzy was calling me? She had never called me - in my entire life.  

“Ezzy - my brain needs a minute. Use the spare key under the frog and come inside.” I started to hang up the phone as I heard her yelling in the front door. 

“TESS - THIS IS NOT FUNNY!!! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME AT THE FESTIVAL TODAY! WE ARE ALREADY RUNNING LATE|”

I yelled for her to come upstairs as I made my way to the bathroom. I splashed some water on my face and tucked a stray strand of grey hair behind my ear. Wait - I had grey hair again! Did Ezzy time travel back to 2025 with me? 

Ezzy walked into the bedroom and told me that she didn't want to hear any excuses. I promised to help her long before I agreed to go to that stupid welcome to fall party. She walked into my closet and started pulling out clothes, gently tossing them to me to put one. “Im just messing with you. I love you Tess, if you need to recuperate - I get it. I really can do this one on my own.” 

I stood there staring at her, completely dumbfounded. She must have sensed something was not quite right. She sat me down on my second hand chaise longue. “Out with it”, she said. I quickly ran through what I thought was the last 36 hours - from the welcome to fall party, to waking up in 1995, to drinking that herbal concoction in her old gypsy wagon. She laughed but I could tell she thought I had cracked. 

I told her that I didn't have memories with her prior to the last day. But that wasn't true anymore, was it? We crammed all night for her biology test. She spent the night because my father wasn't home to say no. She aced that test. We went on a vardo journey that summer with her mom and a few other Romani gypsy families. We were college roommates. She was there when my father passed. She held me when my long lost mother showed up. She was godmother to my son and his daughter. As I ran through our lives together, she reminded me that “life happens as it does and to be calm”.