Anna

Anna

Catherine kissed her much younger boyfriend good-bye, “ I’ll see you tonight, Hot Mama.”

“ I told you not to call me that,” smiled Catherine, sparkles in her eyes, “ only when…you know. Mmm. Go! Work!”

“ I love you,” he said and danced off the driveway into his car.

Catherine laughed. “ You know, Anna, if you want to rake years off your life. Get a young boy toy.”

“ Does that poor young man know you call him that? Shame on you, Catherine!” laughed Anna and hit her friend on the arm lightly.

“ He doesn’t mind. Boy toy,” then she held Anna by her arm. “ He does wonders for my skin, my energy, my thighs, he’s also my fuuu-”

“No. No. Don’t say it. I can’t stand the word. It’s so vulgar and ugly.”

“ Prude,” said Catherine and walked to her mailbox. “ Want to get some breakfast?”

Anna looked at her watch, “ I don’t have class until the afternoon today. Yes. Sounds lovely.”

“ Let me shower F Boy off of me. Could be a while. I’ll call you.”

Anna smiled, “ Sure. There’s a new place on Gibson and Yale? Heard they make everything from scratch. And I’m not a prude.”

“ Right, Anna. I’m famished. I’ll call you.”

Anna walked back to her house to sort through her emails.

May. Thirty years. Anna could remember a time when students met their deadlines without question. Now there was a wide-spread plague that affected aunts, uncles, grandparents; triggering moments, panic attacks, anxiety, sadness, depression. Sadness all around.

“ Sure. Extension. Yes. Good grief. Grandmother. Uncle. Granddad. Begging. I wonder if anyone has any integrity left?”

Anna continued to browse her emails. One caught her eye. San Francisco Peak Publishing. Anna’s heart rate picked up. She let out a breath. Held the pointer on the email, ready to click open.

Her phone startled her. Catherine.

“ Ready?”

“Yes. All clean. No boy toy scent.”

“ Catherine.”

“ Anna.”

“ We each take our car?”

“ Sounds good.”

“ Wow, Anna. How’d you hear of this place? It’s so cozy and so southern?”

An insult?

“ Students have been talking about it. They like the food made from scratch. Gluten-free, vegan options.”

“ Oh God. So happy Chester is above that. He eats like a lumberjack and does other things as such.”

“ I think they have that on the menu. Lumberjack breakfast made for the famished lumberjack who’s been hammering away all night.”

Catherine smiled and laughed, “ Oh, my. Anna!”

Anna smiled and placed the napkin on her leg, “ See. I’m not a prude.”

“ I see!”

“ So, Catherine. This place. Not quite your cup of tea?”

“ Oh Anna. It’s lovely. It just looks like a huge living room in Alaska.”

“ Oh. Doesn’t it give that home-cooked meal ambiance?”

“ That’s what’s scary. That sense of comfort. Like I want to eat a lot of carbohydrates. A sticky bun. Cake.”

“ A donut. I haven’t had one in ages.”

“ The things we do for beauty.”

Anna leans back, “ Type two diabetes prevention for me.”

“ Right. Well, regular exercise in bed with let’s say,” Catherine looks around the restaurant. “ Oh my, Anna. With someone like that you’d dial your a-one-c to an all time low. You’d need a dozen donuts to refuel!”

Anna turns. “ Catherine! He’s young enough to be my son. Could be a student!”

“ Here he comes. Here he comes!”

Anna freezes and locks eyes with Catherine.

“ Good morning, Ladies! Our special is, oh shit, sorry. Doctor Anna. Wow!”

Anna didn’t recognize him.

“ I took your class like two years ago. It was,” he smiles, looks up, and looks back at Anna, “ life changing.”

Catherine gives a diaphragmatic breath, rolls her eyes, “ Wooow!! What did she teach you?”

He looks at her, raises an eyebrow, “ She taught me the essence of Faulkner and Erdrich. Question everything I see, hear, and read. Form my own worldview. I even quit all my socials. I read a lot, made friends, and I even visit my parents more. You know? Right now, I’m actually working on applications for a doctoral program in English somewhere.”

Anna looked like a kid being praised, embarrassed, “ Gosh. Well. That’s great.”

“Any advice on a school?”

Anna looked up and changed her role into teacher, “ Programs abroad could open many doors.”

“ Abroad, huh?”

“ Our order?”

“ Oh! Shit. Sorry, Doctor Anna. What would you like?”

“ What do you recommend?”

Catherine threw her arms up and rolled her eyes.

“ Well. Let’s see everything is pretty good here, but for you Doctor Anna, I’d recommend the French toast with a cup of berry fruit blend, comes with home-made butter, organic Vermont maple syrup and two cage-free eggs any way you want it cooked.”

Anna’s eyes lit up, “ Sounds wonderful. Over easy.”

“ Yeah. Next time. Just ask for the Pain Perdu, two eggs!”

“ Right The Original French Toast.”

He winked, “ Yep. And you?”

Catherine looked up, read his name tag, “ Well, Seth, can you recommend me something?”

Seth looked at Catherine, “ We have oatmeal with Ceylon cinnamon and Muscovado sugar, half a banana, blueberries. Side of yogurt.”

“ No, thank you. I’ll take this Organic Farmer’s Helper, bacon, over easy, too.”

“ Great. Do you need any refills on your coffee, tea?”

“ No,” said Anna. “ And thank you.”

Seth gives a slight bow and goes to enter their order.

“ Awwww, Seth and Anna sittin in a tree-”

“ Stop it, Catherine. That’s horrible! I’m old enough to be his grandmother!”

Catherine laughed, then noticed Anna, “ I’m sorry, Anna. I don’t mean it. You know that, right?”

“ I’m not like you, Cat,” said Anna, fidgeting with her hands. “ I mean, I have all the confidence in the world when I teach, but ordinary me, the non-teaching me, I’m shy or scared. I don’t know.”

Catherine reached out her hand, “ Anna.”

“ I can’t be like you, Cat.”

“ Anna. Stop. I’m sorry.”

Anna looked into Catherine’s eyes. Sincerity. Open. “ Okay.”

“ Breakfast is on me. I’ll give your Seth a huge tip.”

“ Cat-”

“ I’m speaking proper, normal meaning. We’re going to eat our breakfast, talk, joke, share gossip, and go our own way. I’ll see you later drive into your garage. Flick the lights on. Chester and I will be watching TV, probably.”

Anna smiled. “Are you and Chester really serious?”

Catherine looked into her friend’s eyes. Truth time. “ I don’t think so. It’s fun. I feel younger, but part me feels ashamed?”

“ Oh, Catherine. There’s no need.”

“ And in that, I can’t be like you, Anna. I can’t keep my books as company. You don’t even have a dog or a cat.”

“ I’ve always been better alone. Teaching, talking, interacting all day, being on all the time is exhausting.”

“ I never worked. You know that.”

Anna could speak of gender roles and the expected role of women, but Catherine didn’t like to be reminded of her age, “ And that’s okay.”

“ Why, Anna?”

“ You raised four kids. All of whom graduated from college, live lives of accomplishment. You have grandchildren you adore. Buried a husband whom you loved with your whole being. And not a lot of women can say that. Like me.”

“ Having kids. Being a wife. Isn’t worthy of a medal, Anna. What you’ve done, Anna-”

“ Okay, Doctor Anna and friend, here’s your breakfast. The Organic Farmer’s Friend breakfast, butter, Vermont syrup. Pain perdu. Refills? Anything else?”

“ I think we’re okay,” said Anna staring at Catherine’s plate.

“ Okay. Enjoy!”

“ What the fuck is this?” asked Catherine. “ Oh my god, Anna. What is this?”

Anna tried to stifle a laugh, “ Looks like a cutting board full of food!”

“ Oh my God. Is this a honey holder, spreader thing?”

“ It’s a honey wand.”

“ This is unbelievable!”

“ Is everything okay?” asked Seth.

“ What is this?” asked Catherine.

“ The Organic Farmer’s Helper Breakfast.”

“ Right. I know, but…”

“ It’s our biggest breakfast. Includes three over easy eggs, three strips of nitrate-free bacon, three sausage patties, rosemary breakfast potatoes, thick sourdough bread, cup of berries, oatmeal with our signature Ceylon cinnamon and Muscovado sugar, and our home-made butter.”

Anna laughed.

Catherine shook her head, “ Fuck me. Jesus.”

“ Are you ladies okay?”

Anna smiled, “ Yes. It’s just huge, Seth.”

“ I know. Whatever you have left, you can take it home or we can box it for the homeless.”

Anna and Catherine ate their breakfast in the New Mexican morning light. They laughed. They exchanged food. More refills.

“ Here’s your ticket. I’ll be your cashier. Is Doctor Anna coming back? My shift is over.”

“ She’s in the bathroom. Here you go.”

“ Wow. Thank you! Uhhh, can you give this to Doctor Anna? I’d appreciate more advice on my application and which, what doctoral program I might like?”

“Sure,” said Catherine and took Seth’s folded paper.

“ Thanks, gotta run. My girlfriend is waiting outside.”

“ No problem.”

Catherine unfolded the paper and saw a man-boy’s handwriting: Seth Giordano. 505-555-1367

“ Are you ready? I don’t see Seth.”

“ Meaning?” smiled Catherine.

“ No, Catherine. I wanted to wish him luck with his search for a doctoral program.”

Catherine held the folded paper in her right hand.

“ He must have left,” said Anna.

“ We can always come back,” said Catherine.

Catherine sat at home, staring at Seth’s number.

A glass of wine.

The folded paper on her granite kitchen island, sitting at the breakfast bar.

A glass of wine.

Catherine took a deep breath, picked up her phone, and texted: “ Hi Seth. Anna here. How are you?” Catherine laughed. Anna doesn’t speak like this. “Hi Seth. This is Anna Brennan. I am sorry I didn’t have a chance to talk to you further about a doctoral program. How are you?”

Catherine looked at her message. Anna would never text. Anna always called.

Catherine’s thumb hovered over the ‘send’ button.

Headlights. Chester.

Catherine shut her eyes, “ Fuck’s sake, Anna. Time to live,” and pressed ‘send’.

Two Weeks After Breakfast

Anna hummed to herself. She pressed the door bell again. “ Catherine!”

“ Hi Anna.”

Anna looked into the doorbell. “ Are you okay, Cat? It’s been a week since we had lunch?”

“ I’m feeling sick. I’m not feeling good at all.”

Anna knitted her brow, “ Cat, let me in. I can make you soup? Run an errand?”

“ No. I can’t, Anna. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

Anna stood on the porch confused. Helpless. “ Okay. But call me, okay?’

“ Sure.”

Anna walked away, but remembered and pressed the door bell again, “ You and Chester are not fighting are you?”

“ No, Anna.”

“ Okay. Doing my due diligence.”

“ Thanks, Anna. I’ll see you soon.”

Four Weeks After Breakfast

“ You’re leaving?” asked Catherine. “ Vacation? Cabo? No, I’m not deaf. Okay. I haven’t seen much of you, lately. Oh. Provost is calling me. Okay. Love you, too. Bye.”

“ Hello?”

“ Hi, Doctor Brennan. This is Provost John Henry.”

“ Yes.”

“ I need you to come in.”

Anna paused, “ Ummm. Yes. May I ask why?”

“ It’s better if you come in. I can’t talk about this on the telephone.”

“ Doctor Brennan? Anna?”

“ Right. I’ll be there within the hour.”

“ Great. Thank you.”

Anna parked in her spot. The sky a shocking deep blue.

“ Hi, Doctor Brennan for Provost Henry.”

“ Right. They’re waiting.”

“ They?”

“ Yes.”

Anna stepped into the Provost’s office. The windows overlooked the campus green and the duck pond. Books lined one wall and on the couch the Dean of College of Arts and Sciences and the English Department Chair. The Provost gestured to the opposing couch. Anna’s hands shook and quickly interlaced them.

“ Doctor Brennan. We’re going to cut to the chase. A former student contacted us. Seth Giordano. Do you remember him?”

“ Yes. No. I mean he took a class of mine two years ago, he said. We ran into him at his work Four Directions, the new organic restaurant. He was a waiter. I didn’t remember him and I still don’t, but I was happy to see him nonetheless.”

“ He claims to have left you his phone number.”

Anna looked confused, “ No. I didn’t get his phone number.” Catherine. Anna’s heart began to race.

“ A week ago he reached out to our HR department and filed a complaint.”

“ What?” said Anna. “ Complaint? What do you mean?”

The Dean placed a manila folder on the coffee table, “ You sent text messages that were very disturbing.”

“ What?”

“ Sexually explicit text messages and pictures.”

“ What?”

Provost John Henry saw Doctor Brennan hold back her tears, her hands shook, a caged animal. An aging caged animal. He had always admired Anna. Very intelligent. Passionate about her subject. He wanted this done and over, “ Look, Anna. I respect and admire the hell outta you. But we can’t afford this type of scandal. You’ve had a wonderful career. Thirty years. Enjoy your remaining years. Travel. Once you retire, I’ll personally burn these allegations.”

Anna looked at John. “ John. Please. I didn’t.”

“ Doesn’t matter,” said John, “ Listen Doctors I’ll handle this. Thanks for coming in.”

The Dean and Department Chair left the office.

“ John, I didn’t send any text messages. I don’t even know how!”

“ Look. This is above me. I’m here to give you a soft landing. I fought for you.”

Anna shut her eyes, started to cry, “ John. I didn’t do this.” A moment of clarity. “ I can get a lawyer and fight this. I can-”

“ Anna.”

“ No, I can sue.”

“ Anna.”

“ My reputation, John. And I didn’t do anything! What’s in this folder?” Anna picked up the folder, read a few messages, and saw pictures of Catherine’s breasts, her underwear, her-she dropped the folder and let out a soundless wail and fell to her knees.

“ I’m getting old, Anna. Gets hard to be on my knees. Come here. Look, I fought for you,” said John and held Anna. She felt like a child, fragile, almost brittle. “ I got you five years severance. You’re a tenured professor who’s merely retiring. As promised, I’ll burn these.”

“ No,” said Anna. “ I’ll keep those.”

“ How did this happen, Anna?” asked John getting to his feet. He helped Anna.

“ Gosh, we’re getting old. It wasn’t me. I’d never do such a thing. I think you know me best here, John. We’ve been here since we were kids. Kids, John. Did I ever drink, smoke, sleep around?”

John looked at the carpet, “ I need a drink. Want one?”

“ No. I have to drive.”

“ Again, Anna. How did this happen? Who is it, if it isn’t you?”

Anna wanted to tell John about Catherine. Catherine who probably wanted her to have fun and maybe got out of hand. “ I should feel anger, hate, John, but I don’t.”

“ Anna, you always take the fall. You always have to be so,” he looked at her, “ moral? I don’t know if that’s the right word. If you know who did this, tell me. The technology out there, believe me. Did you ever piss off a kid? This Seth. Did you fail him?”

“ No, John. Most of my students like me, I think. The ones who don’t usually don’t like my standards. Listen.”

“ What?”

“ I meant that for emphasis, John. Listen, I’ll take the retirement. Five years severance is pretty good. How’d you? My book,” said Anna, covering her mouth. “ I’ll be ruined.”

“ Nope. This Seth was paid off with the promise he’d never mention it again in any fashion. Had my lawyer draw up the paperwork. I paid him off. You’re going to be okay.”

“ John,” she said, “ I’ll pay you back.”

“ That’s gonna be a lot of meals, dinners, and breakfasts.”

“ Oh, John, you never quit.”

“ I know.”

“ I didn’t think my career would end like this. Sex talk. Sex pictures. Sex toys. Good god, John.”

“ Come back in a week. I’ll have all the documents ready to sign. I’m sorry, Anna.”

“ There’s no need. Can I sign those electronically?”

“ For someone who doesn’t text.”

“ Shelly taught me. My graduate assistant.”

“ See you around, Anna?”

Anna touched John’s cheek, “ Thank you, John. I’ll call you sometime.”

Anna pulled into her driveway and looked towards Catherine’s house. Anna took the folder, walked to her neighbor’s sidewalk, and stood in front of the house. “ I can’t believe this.” Anna opened Catherine’s mailbox and placed the folder inside.

Anna packed a carry-on and a larger luggage to be checked.

Summer. Anna stood in front of Buckingham Palace.

The In-Between. Anna wrote a scandalous book about an older woman named Catherine and a graduate student named Chester. Anna appeared on Jimmy Kimmel. “ Soooo, a tell-all autobiography?” Anna covered her mouth and laughed, “Authorized.”

Fall. Anna kissed the Blarney Stone.

One year after breakfast. Summer. Anna looked down from Shibuya Sky. The street lights blinked and danced in her eyes. Hundreds of people down below, each living their own life, own aches, and happiness. Anna felt the wind across her face and imagined the stars above shining brightly, twinkling to the end and beginnings of the universe. “ I let go. I let it all go now,” said Anna and looked to the skies. “ Thank you, Catherine. Thank you, you fucking whore bitch.”

“ Anna?”

Anna turned around.