WINDOW OF DREAMS

”Merry!”

Momma’s lively voice ringing above the bells in her hand.

”Merry!”

Her name made Momma smile. I love that name, she thought to herself. Merry’s name unlocked the good memories. The happy times before the “night” fell. Startled by the creaking of the mattress, Momma glanced nervously over her shoulder. Lifting her shaking hands as if to take a closer look, she put them on her apron. The smoothing gestures quieting her tremors.. until she heard the bed creak again.

“Merry!!”

Urgency laced Momma’s quavering voice.

“Right here Momma, I’m coming.” Merry replied softly.

“At last.”

Momma whispered a sigh of relief. Merry’s fingers moved delicately across the Velcro closure on her

apron. Her twisted form moved slowly up the stairs. She couldn’t stop smiling. Today is her favorite day!

Every Friday she helped Momma bake Bobbert’s cakes. Merry’s outstretched arms reached for Momma

at the top of the stairs.

“Here’s my Merry.”

Momma spoke softly as she hugged Merry and kissed her forehead. She peered through the small opening of

the bedroom door behind Momma. The shape on the bed made her stomach feel “ticklish”.

“My butterflies,” she mumbled thoughtfully tapping her stomach.

Holding hands, they walked into the kitchen like uncertain warriors facing “certain” battle.

“My dream window!” Merry squealed with excitement! The low window seemed to rest on the counter,

as if waiting for her return. As she stirred the cake batter, Merry imagined climbing through her make- believe window. The sun shining brightly, as she walked through the tall green grass. She picked beautiful flowers from the garden for a bouquet. Merry put them in the window of Momma’s tiny red house. She waved at the blue birds flying over her head. She didn’t miss the butterflies, they were still “inside..!”

“Merry!” Momma said, “Get the recipe card.”

She opened the drawer and picked up the soft worn card.

“It says cake!” Merry announced proudly.

“Great job.” Momma smiled, nodding her head.

“Let’s begin.”

Momma enjoyed hearing Merry read the recipe card. She thought, just like I did with my mother,

happy times… just before..

“Where’s MY coffee!!”

Bobbert shouted as he walked into the kitchen. The grating sounds of his chair scraping the floor filled

the room. Seeing his furrowed brow and clenched fist, Momma shrank back against the counter.

Merry’s butterflies beat their wings wildly in her stomach. Quickly turning to the stove, Momma’s shaking hands gripped the coffee pot.

“You better NOT spill a drop!”

Bobbert’s voice was menacing, as he glowered at Momma. She lowered her head and poured the hot liquid into his cup.

“You DID’NT start my dessert??!”

Bobbert snarled. Momma didn’t see the macabre smile forming across his face. His fist slammed the table.

He enjoyed barking orders and watching her cringe with fear.

“Merry!” Momma’s voice rising with nervous agitation, “You get one cup of sugar and I’ll get the flour!”

Merry swallowed hard to push the butterflies from her mouth. Momma’s shaking hands moving

quickly as they poured ingredients into the bowl.

“Pinch the salt, I’ll add the baking powder.”

Merry used the tiny measuring spoon. Momma hurriedly added the butter, eggs, milk, and vanilla.

vanilla.

“Time to stir!”

Momma glanced nervously at Bobbert, pushing the bowl in front of Merry’s hands. She started

stirring the batter and gazed through her dream window. Merry breathed a sigh of relief with her

back turned away from Bobbert’s icy glare. The colorful flowers were waving their tiny petals in the warm winds. The sun smiling as she walked to the tiny red house.

“My coffee is COLD!!”

Bobbert’s angry voice startled Merry. Turning from the dream window, she saw Momma scrambling for the

coffee pot..again!

Robert Knight was a conniving and vicious man. He spotted Momma outside the small train depot shortly after their arrival. Momma had recently become a widow, and neighbors referred to them as the “widow and

the humpback.” Desperate for a new start and location, Momma bought the train tickets. As a skilled

baker, she had hopes of opening a small shop with Merry at her side. Their destination? The very last stop!

Momma told Merry to sit down and watch the luggage. She wanted to inquire about places to live while they

get acquainted with the new town. Robert approached Momma, introducing himself and answering her

questions. He was quite pleasant and engaged with her story.

“You came to the right place.” He said, “Our town needs a bakery!”

Robert offered to pick up her luggage and drive her to the nearby boarding house. He suggested that they

should have coffee and continue to discuss potential business opportunities. They entered the station and

Momma said excitedly,

“Merry!” “This is Robert!

Merry waved as Robert’s cold stare made her shiver. His eyes told her what she had “heard” many times

before. Gathering their luggage, Robert remained quiet in the car. Momma noted he had driven miles past

the last highway, turning onto a gravel road. The outline of a small house visible. He switched off the ignition

and carried their luggage to the front door. Momma scrambled out of the car when he reached in the mailbox

for a key, and opened the front door. Robert put the luggage inside the door and said,

“I will be back Thursday night and pick up cakes on Friday..”.

That was a YEAR ago!

Merry’s dream window never changed. She loved to stir the cake batter for Momma, especially the chocolate

swirls. Merry still waved at the colorful flowers as she walked in the tall green grass. The blue birds singing

as they landed on Momma’s tiny red house. Merry never saw the leaves changing colors, the rain, or the

occasional snow flurries. But.. she did see Momma change. Sometimes Momma had red or blue spots on

her arms and legs. Sometimes Momma hits her head when she “exercises”!

“Momma exercises a LOT!”, she thought.

Merry didn’t hear the sweet ring of Momma’s voice or the bells. Closing the Velcro sides of her tattered

apron, she gazed at the shadow her disfigured back cast on the wall.

“Something’s not right.” She mumbled softly.

The house above was quiet..too quiet. So quiet that she didn’t sleep well last night.

“Momma didn’t exercise last night!” She thought.

Merry missed the sounds of her body bumping against the walls. She would exercise with Momma.

She stood under the places where Momma would fall.

“Get up!” Merry pleaded softly, “He’s COMING!”

Merry ran with every footstep Momma made, stopping with her, to crouch

down and hide from Bobbert. When his heavy footsteps found them, they screamed together! Merry

covering her mouth so he couldn’t hear it. Playtime ended when she pretended to help Bobbert drag

Momma across the floor and down the hall to the creaking bed. Suddenly, Merry heard the heavy sound

of Bobbert’s footsteps at the door.

“Where are you dummy??! “Moo! Moo!” He laughed as he rang the cowbells.

“I’m here,” Merry replied quickly! The noise of the bells too loud for her voice to be heard.

“What are you waiting for! Bobbert bellowed, “Get up here and start baking NOW!”

Bobbert angrily pointed to her at the bottom of the steps. Fear gripped Merry and she held both

sides of the thin wooden hand rails to move faster up the old cellar steps. She hobbled towards the kitchen and glanced towards the broken bedroom door. Momma’s unwashed apron was hanging on the doorknob. Bobbert gave her a push towards the counter.

“Start cooking NOW!”

She saw his clenched fist before he hit the table, and dared not to look in her dream window.

“Butterflies in my throat”, she thought. Merry opened the drawer and lifted the worn card.

“It says cake”, she mumbled.

Looking down at his feet, Merry stuttered, “Momma’s helping me!”

“Momma’s sleeping!”

He picked up his thin tree switch and waved threatening towards Merry as he spoke.

“It’s time YOU baked the cakes!”

Merry’s mouth opened in horror as his laughter made her skin crawl.

Bobbert sat at the kitchen table pointing to the stove and yelled..

“GET my coffee!”

Merry trembling uncontrollably, stared at the stove, frozen with fear. Bobbert stood, while reaching for

the hot coffee pot, waving his fingers at her saying…

“You’ll learn..!”

Merry looked towards Momma’s room. There was just enough from the kitchen to see legs

hanging over the side of the bed. She turned to face her dream window.

“Wake up Momma, Wake UP!”,

She pleaded without a sound. Gasping suddenly in pain, she felt the sting of Bobbert’s switch across

her back.

“That’s my FINAL warning!”

Bobbert snarled and stared at her.

Merry grabbed the large bowl, scooping the flour and sugar. She used the small spoon for the other ingredients. She grabbed the bowl on top of the refrigerator and the milk from inside. Merry “saw”

the recipe card, but she “heard” Momma’s voice. She poured enough milk to make a batter and

stirred. Merry looked into her dream window. Bobbert slammed his fist on the table and she

looked away..

“YOU Don’t touch that stove Dummy!!”

Bobbert shouted as he turned on the stove and set the timer. He knew exactly what to do.

He took the all of the cakes to his factory job to sell by the slice. He used the money for

cigarettes and alcohol. Bobbert kept the ingredients stocked and told Momma “her” portion of

profits paid their rent.

Merry stirred the batter again, frowning as she looked out of her dream window.

“I can’t see!” She thought to herself.

A strange gray fog appeared to cover all of her beautiful creations! She couldn’t see the flowers,

the grass or Momma’s tiny red house. She couldn’t see Momma’s face anymore. The butterflies

fluttered wildly in her stomach. Suddenly, she heard the sound of Bobbert pushing his chair back

and stood like a tower looming over Merry’s head. His voice cutting through the thickening gray

fog in her dream window.

“You’re stupid like YOUR Momma.. I never wanted YOU here, I never liked you.. you were

supposed to do the chores and stay in the cellar.. and SHE brought you into my kitchen!

She’s stupid and you’re her dummy!!”

Bobbert clenched his fist as he glared at Merry. She blinked, there was a strange sensation in her

eyes! Immediately the salty water flowed like tiny streams across her cheeks and into her mouth!

“Maybe it’s raining.” Merry mumbled softly.

She’s never been outside She’s never known her tears. Stirring the cake batter makes her feel safe

as she watches the fog creeping through her dream window.

“ If your Momma would do what she’s told, I wouldn’t have to punish her..” Bobbert’s clenched

his fist and kicked the chair.

“ The batters ready.”

Merry mumbles as she pours the mixture into the baking pan. She couldn’t hear his words or

the sounds of his fist slamming the table. She looked around and saw the fog inside in the kitchen.

Merry wanted Bobbert stop talking, yelling, hitting and kicking!! She knew the fog would go away

when he stopped. She didn’t hear him slowing creeping up behind her. Merry was paralyzed with

fear when she felt Bobbert’s cold hand on her back.

Merry reached blindly into the kitchen sink grabbing her spoon and whatever she could reach before

he moved closer. She turned to strike and the small steak knife sliced across his throat.

Bobbert gasped, standing too close to Merry to avoid her strike. He stepped back clutching his throat

and flopped into a chair. Merry gazed at the “red stuff” pouring from his neck, covering the big spoon

and knife in her hand. She watched Bobbert clutched his throat until his arms fell to his side.

“Finally”, she thought, “Bobbert stopped talking!”

Merry smiled and turned to the cake pan, stirring with the large spoon. The blood creating “strawberry”

swirls. Merry smiled and said,

”Just like Mommas chocolate swirls!,”

Looking out of her dream window, Merry never heard the sirens, or the policemen’s footsteps.

She was as “stiff” as a board, and found staring out of a window secured with metal bars. Merry

was handcuffed, and escorted slowly towards the police car. Hearing the ring of the oven timer before she stepped outside Merry told the officers…

”The Cake is Ready!!”

She didn’t see the horrified look on their faces, or the blood splattered all through the kitchen.

She never detected the “strange” smell coming from the hot oven, or witnessed Momma’s battered

body removed from the bedroom.

“Merry! Merry!”

A voice called her as the fog lifted slowly. It was Dr. Howland, Forensic Psychiatrist, gazing thoughtfully at

Merry with pen and notebook in hand.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Beckoning to the female guard, the door was opened and swiftly locked behind both of them.

Alone in her room, Merry loved counting Dr. Howland’s footsteps as she walked down the corridor.

She closed her eyes and imagined she was under the floor walking right beside her..