Veggie Vampire

TW: Comedy gore and violence, not meant to be taken seriously. Mentions of addictions, and cheating.

It was days like today that made people regret their career choices.

Well, specifically the people who worked at Carrie’s Cool Carrots Corporation, or, as the workers call it, Quad-C.

Anyway, it was on a normal day when a lady walked in. She looked strange; she was shaking, her hair was a mess. Five different security guards tried to restrain her and take her outside, on account of her basically walking into a dangerous factory.

Now, don’t ask me why a carrot factory could be dangerous. It just was. If you have questions, take them up with Carrie.

The workers all stopped what they were doing. Christian Campbell stopped his juice pumping. Camille Clark stopped kissing Colin Cabrera. Calista Cabrera stopped angry staring and thinking of divorce papers. And Caleb Cacace stopped sweeping up the dropped carrots.

They all turned and looked at the lady.

“Carrots.”

All the sudden, the lady was chasing the workers around, snatching up carrots as she went. She shoveled fistfulls down her mouth, always searching for more.

But, it all turned bad when Caspian Cabana got a chunk bit outta him. Instantly, he somehow started bleeding orange blood, which made no sense whatsoever.

;

I gotta pause. Two reasons: 1) if you haven’t already figured it out, this lady has some sorta chronic addiction to carrots, and b) it's about to get ugly.

For your own safety, please close your eyes while reading this next part.

;

It turns out that Caspian’s blood tasted like carrots, which wasn’t good for Caspian. In about five minutes, Caspian was more or less a blob on the floor that the lady was still licking up. She wiped her mouth and smiled at the rest of the workers, her teeth stained orange.

“Who's next?”

She moved faster this time. She launched herself at Christian and quickly devoured him. He screamed for maybe five seconds, before he was unable to speak, on account of his throat being ripped out.

After Christian was done, everyone scattered. Calista hid in the testing lab. Caleb dived into a basket of rotten carrots, thinking it would conceal him and she wouldn’t eat him. Camille and Colin ran off and hid in some closet.

Of course, Caleb was found first. The lady started picking up the moldy carrots and shoveling them into her cheeks. She was about to turn when she saw a little orange carrot. Quickly, she bit down, much to the yell of Caleb. She had bitten off his finger, orange blood spewing out of his hand. She obviously didn’t stop, and soon all that was left of that pile, and Caleb, was nothing.

Camille and Colin, of course, were kinda gone. They were behind the door of that janitor's closet, doin’ whatever. But, the lady found them. They went b-bye quickly, mostly because there wasn’t anywhere to run. The lady stepped out, licking her fingers and wiping the orange through her hair.

Now, Calista was crouching behind one of the metal lab tables. The door to the lab creaked open, and Calista could make out the feet of the lady. She slowly crawled along the floor, trying to be as quiet as possible.

“Carrots…carrots…carrots…” the lady mumbled, tiptoeing around the lab.

Calista slowly got closer and closer to the door. When she was less than a foot away, Calista jumped up and opened the door, and sprinted out.

The lady ran after her, screaming carrots. Calista skid toward the open door, trying not to vomit at the sight of the carnage. Quickly, she flew out the door, sliding into her car seat and starting the engine. The lady belly flopped onto Calista’s windshield, scraping at the glass. Her mouth spewed orange all over, compromising Calista’s sight. But, she sped forward, knocking the lady to the asphalt. She careened out of the parking lot and down the highway, eventually sliding into the police station parking lot.

;

Mariella Pints sat in the little plastic chair, freshly showered. Her usually messy hair was tied into a neat braid, made by her caretaker. Others sat around her, all in various stages of sweating.

“Alright, welcome to Healing, your very own group-therapy session on addictions. I am Syndany, your advisor. We are going to go around and introduce ourselves. Dranderson, would you like to start?”

Dranderson stood and clasped and unclasped his hands. “Hey, everyone. I'm Dranderson.”

“Hi, Dranderson,” the others in the room echoed.

“Um, I am here because I have an addiction to google searching. I…I looked up so many things. I even found the secrets of the universe…” Dranderson said, getting a far off look in his eye.

“Thank you, Dranderson. We appreciate you,” Syndany said, pulling his white blonde hair into a man-bun. “Who’s next?”

A little woman stood up. “HieverybodyI’mOrinda!”

The others in the group looked around in confusion.

The woman sighed, slowly down her words. “I’m…Orinda…”

“Ohhh, hi Orinda,” everyone resounded.

“I…am…here…because…I…have…an…addiction…to…talking…too…fast…” she sounded out, slower than she needed to.

Getting impatient, Syndany cut in, “Thank you, Orinda. You can sit down.”

“OkayMr.Syndany,” she sped, barely taking a breath.

“Next?”

Mariella smiled and stood up. “Hey, guys, I’m Mariella.”

“Hi Mariella.”

“Sooo I am here because I have an addiction to carrots. I was arrested about, uh, a month ago and put in a mental hospital because I ate some people at a carrot factory, ha. I was called lovingly by the press the ‘Veggie Vampire.’ And, yeah!”

The group sat in silence. With his eyes wide, Syndany said, “You…ate people?”

“Yeah, but it was all after a stint of my sister limiting my carrot consumption. Guess I went a little crazy!”

Mariella laughed, causing awkward laughs from around the room. Syndany nodded, motioning to the redhead next to Mariella. “How about you?”

They stood up. “Hey, everyone, I’m Caris.”

Mariella looked up, her eyes turning to Caris. She slunk over, putting her hands on the edges of Caris’s chair.

“Carrots?”