The Hero in the Shadows

The Hero in the Shadows

“Now that I’m eighteen, you’ll tell me what happened to Dad, right?”

Emma’s mother turned the water off and turned away from the sink. The sun caressed her pale skin. Her brown eyes met with her daughter’s beautiful, hazel eyes, full of curiosity. She smiled gently.

“How about I tell you tom-“

“Tomorrow,” Emma interrupted. “That’s what you always say! Mom, I’m legally an adult now!”

“I know,” her mother replied softly. “Today is meant to be about you!” she held Emma’s face in her hands. “I want you to dress up and have a good time with your friends! Please,” she added in a near whisper, “trust me.”

“Okay,” Emma sighed disappointedly. After waiting eighteen years, what was waiting one more day?

That night, Emma crept inside the house. She tip-toed her way to the restroom to get ready for bed. When it was time for bed she laid down in her palm tree patterned pajamas. Despite all the excitement, she couldn’t fall asleep. The thought of what her father might be doing right now nagged at her. “Maybe he’s in a different time zone. Mom did say that he works in the government. I wonder if I ever met him. Did he see me when I was born or did he run off and abandon us? Was Mom a cheater?” the mere thought made her queasy. “No, there must be an explanation.” Emma knew her mother. She’d never stoop so low. In Emma’s eyes, Marcus was her father, but that didn’t stop her from wondering what her biological father was like.

The next day, Emma walked down the stairs, happy and full of life, when she overheard her mother and Marcus whispering. Emma stopped and listened at the bottom of the stairs.

“You need to tell her! You’ve held off long enough!” Emma recognized Marcus’s voice.

“I just don’t want to hurt her!”

“Are you sure that this is all about not hurting her?”

“What do you mean?” Emma’s mother replied.

“I mean, are you protecting Emma or yourself from the pain? Besides, she’s going to find out anyways. About us, about all of it!”

“I knew it!” Emma exclaimed. Both heads turned in the direction of her voice. “You’ve been seeing Marcus while you were still legally married to dad, haven’t you?”

“Emma, let’s go to your room. Marcus, if you don’t mind staying behind, I’d appreciate it. You were right. This is something I alone can tell her.”

“I don’t mind waiting behind,” Marcus gave her a thumbs up for encouragement.

Up in Emma’s bedroom, her mind was racing. “Was my mother a cheater? Neither she nor Marcus denied it! She can’t be! The person I know would never do such a thing!” She then said aloud, “I want you to tell me everything. Don’t leave even the tiniest detail out, okay?”

“Okay,” her mother patted Emma’s bed. “Sit down and I’ll tell you everything, but you have to calm down first.”

Emma took several deep breaths before she sat on her bed. She was sure to keep her distance. Emma was angry and confused, but most of all, she wanted answers. Emma sat on the bed and listened to her mother.

“I know you think your father is some sort of government spy, but he’s not. He was part of a gang. We both worked at the same supermarket. That’s how we met. I never would’ve guessed that your father was involved in criminal activity when I met him. He took great care in whatever job he was doing, even if at the time he was simply stocking shelves. He would go to the library to expand his knowledge every day. He was polite to everyone. One day, your father asked if he could take me out on a date and I said yes. We went out a number of times, until one day, he came with me to my apartment, which is where you were conceived.”

“Okay, but-“ Emma began.

“Let me finish. We didn’t go to his place, because he didn’t have one. I needed a roommate, so I asked him if he was interested. I taught piano to kids, as well as shelving items at the supermarket, and I was sure he could find a position at the local library, so he accepted my offer. He felt that if we were going to be roommates, that I should know the truth. He was hiding from a gang that he used to be a part of. I assured him of the building’s security, when one day we received a box with a headless pigeon inside. He had been my roommate for less than a month and he was already receiving death threats,” her eyes began to fill with tears. “Shortly afterwards, we discovered I was pregnant. Your father was faced with a choice. He could try to re-join the gang and risk getting killed by them, or he could rat them out. He would be given witness protection and he’d be safe, but he’d never get to meet his little girl,” tears fell down her face, and her eyes were red rimmed. “He figured that he ran the risk of getting killed, whether he was inside or outside of jail. He decided to confess and be given complete anonymity after the trial. He asked me once what kind of parent he would make. Living life on the run. Never settling down. He knew it wasn’t what I wanted and he knew stability is what you’d need growing up. He agreed never to hear or speak from me or his future daughter and told me to find a nice guy and move on. That’s why you’ve never met your father.”

A lump formed in Emma’s throat, but surprisingly no tears surfaced. It was hard to empathize with a man she had never met, but seeing her mother so distraught, so broken, made Emma feel helpless and ashamed.

“Is he still alive?”

“I don’t know, Emma. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I just didn't think you were old enough to understand. Marcus was right. I wasn’t just sparing you the pain of knowing you will never know your father, I was sparing myself that pain as well.”

Emma cradled her mother in her arms, just as her mother had done so many years ago. “Shh, it’s okay.” Emma began to cry, but managed through sobs to whisper, “I’m sorry.”

“What on earth for?” Emma’s mother asked, genuine concern in her voice.

“I said such bad things, mean things over the years to you. I’m so ashamed and I’m so, so sorry!” she exclaimed as she embraced her mother.

“You had no way of knowing. It’s okay,” she whispered. “I’m sorry for tearing apart your image of him. I wonder if I did the right thing by telling you.”

“Are you kidding? You didn’t tear anything down. My dad confessed to his crimes and saved the day, just as I’ve always imagined. He wasn’t just a hero. He was so much more.”

“Fathers!” Emma yelled in her mind. “Mom, I’m sorry to interrupt this moment, but I need a moment alone with Marcus.”

“That’s okay.”

“Thank you!” Emma kissed her mother on the cheek and left the room. She nearly ran down the stairs, before she entered the living room to find Marcus looking at his phone on the couch.

“Marcus, I’m going to say something, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t interrupt. Otherwise, I may lose my train of thought.”

“Okay.”

“I’ve never told you this before, but I love you as if you were my biological father. In fact, you rank above him in my heart. I can’t believe it took me eighteen years to say that,” Emma gave a nervous chuckle as she embraced Marcus. “I love you, Dad,” Emma whispered. It was the first time she had referred to Marcus as “dad.” “I love you too, sweetie,” was his response. Emma’s mother had crept down the stairs and was enjoying the beautiful view taking place in her living room.