I'll pray for you

"Are you there, God? It's me..." I'm looking up at the ceiling. The Glow in the Dark stickers I placed there were looking down at me. The package lied, they don't actually glow. "I'm asking you once again to kill my music teacher. Please."

I pause for a moment, waiting for Him to - maybe, probably - process that information.

"Alright, you don't have to kill him. Maybe disable him, cut off his tongue. Make it so - that he doesn't want to teach music anymore." I reason, "He's literally driving me insane."

I snuggle further into the sheets, "I can't take lessons anymore, I really can't." I reminisce about the class I had no more than two hours ago.

"I don't know if you were looking or not, but today was probably the worst day. He humiliated me - and Ok, I guess you're wondering how that warrants a death sentence. - I'll tell you. - He's out to bring me down. I swear - sorry for swearing by the way - Every week I go to this guy and he just dampens my mood and it's not like school is any better. I have a few teachers who are out for me as well, but that's for another night." I explain, rolling onto my side, because why must I be uncomfortable to pray?

I sigh, "He tells me I'm not good enough to be there. Not in so much words because I can easily run and tell my parents that quote for quote - " I pause, stifling another sigh as I think about my parents, "But it's not like they'll care... One time Lester - That's his name, by the way, You might want to write that down. Lester Mahavir - One time Lester told me that I'm wasting my parents money. - I feel like I haven't cost them one cent. Even when I'm in school, I try to save my allowance. I try to never ask for more unless I really need it. And it's just unfair - He said that in front of everyone." I grit my teeth.

"Well I know those stuck up brats aren't going to say anything bad about their favourite teacher." I toss in bed, "I have no friends in that class at all and most of all - I hate that stupid grand piano he never lets me play on... Can you make that explode or something? Cause that would be much appreciated."

Uncomfortable, I get sit upright trying to stack the pillows behind me as I continue to grumble, "It's not enough that I have school - I have to attend music class after music class... for what? - For actually what?"

Looking at the hill of pillows, I shimmy into it, resting in a spot, "And please don't get mad at me - You know I'm in the worship team at church... I really don't want to be there anymore - To be honest, I didn't want to be there in the first place - And I'm not telling you that just to be disrespectful."

I lean forward, my hands clasp together as I stare at them, "I'm only doing it to make you happy - to make my parents happy for the time being... But it's been a good few years. About 5 or so... I'm really just scared - Because:

1. You're powerful and you send plagues to people. Ooh - Maybe you should send a personal plague to Lester. Wait - cancel that order. The world is busy with Covid.
2. My parents don't really brag about anything else I do. I just go to school and that's it - They like music. I'm despise being a musician. My brother is a sound engineer and he's a boy - so you already know they like him more.
3. I feel like every serious mistake I've made would be exposed to the world.

I don't know why I think like that - I just do." I crack my knuckles. "You're probably wondering why I'm finally talking about this to you... Well - I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried everything to get away from music - Almost everything. Talking to people don't work. I just want my parents to understand that I am not going to be a musician." I suck in my cheek, "I've tried to bring up the conversation but every single time I end up crying - they end up mad at me - then the week resets." I pause to cough away the buildup of tears. "It's come to a point that even if I say the word Music in front of them - they get pre-annoyed at me cause they know it's not going to be anything good."

I shrug, "My parents don't really care about me when it comes to music... Cause they think it's like a path of righteousness. Be a Pianist or Rot in Hell. Then again I can't really blame them cause they don't see me as a Christian. I'm introverted, I don't like to pray in front of people. I like listening to rock bands, I don't listen to gospel on my own, I don't read the Bible like everyone else does. I basically act Non-Christian like. I don't like doing anything else in the Church so I can see why they force me to be a pianist. Dad said it's because he wants to make sure I go up into Heaven - Which I get -."

I think about what I said for a moment. "I'm know I'm not a good Christian - and I've always felt like I deserve to suffer... yah know - for all the stuff I've done that I know I shouldn't have done. I'm pretty sure even if I wasn't Christian I'd still have that train of thought," I push my lips together into a line, "But really, talking to you - even if you don't fix anything, makes me feel a little better..."

I begin thinking of a conclusion, "Well, I better go to sleep now. I hope you consider at least one of my ideas for dealing with Lester. All my problems with music aside - he's a terrible teacher and I don't want anyone who actually likes being a musician to go through that kinda stress... But then again, that's how good rock bands are formed... hmmm." I scratch my chin and sigh, "This one is up to you God - You see how he treats people, I pray you find a punishment that's suitable for him and if you need me to write out a list - I suggest you give me a sign - maybe something like a roll of thunder."

I pause, waiting for something.

"Alright, I see you got this. Well anyway. Thanks for listening and Goodnight."