Your Husband

Abby’s phone chimes.

Unknown number -

Hi Abigail, I am reaching out because there is something I think you should know... It’s about your husband and it’s important. Please get back to me when you can.

Abby rereads the message. She is puzzled. What could it be? Why not get in contact with him? She figures - if it was urgent, they would call.

Ziggy barrels into the bedroom, jumping onto her, with Tom two steps behind.

Ziggy screeches, “MUMMMMMM! Tom said he would pour ALL my milk ou-”

Tom interrupts louder, “HE TOLD ME TO!!!”

The bed turns into WrestleMania. Abby sits up and shouts, “Enough, boys!” They stop briefly; Ziggy squirms off her, and they scramble away.

Bellowing comes from upstairs. “What’s going on, boys?!” Dale is dealing with it.

Abby tenses and jumps out of bed.

There is a cacophony of noises as they screech at him, both blaming each other and getting more worked up.

Abby makes it upstairs as they quiet down. Dale gives her an exasperated look.

She jumps in. “Alright boys, is the milk still here?”

“Yes, but Tommmm was going to-”

She interrupts hands up. “OK, OK, Ziggy. The milk is still here, and Tom, please don’t pour Ziggy’s milk out, even if he asks you to.”

Tom crosses his arms. “But Ziiiggyyy-”

She stops him again and tears well up in his eyes. He runs off and slams his bedroom door.

Abby glances at Dale. He is engrossed in his phone typing. The instances where she needs him and he has checked out are gaining compound interest.

He notices her gaze and looks up, his expression changing.

“What?” he asks innocently.

“What are you doing?”

He locks his phone immediately. “Just the group chat,” as he checks his watch.

Dale loves the CoD “bros” chat. Abby often catches him smiling and asks what it is about, but he says she wouldn’t understand.

She lets out a sigh. She doesn’t want to start a fight. It is Boxing Day, and they finally have some time off together.

After the busy last couple of months, she just wanted to relax. To be with the people she loved the most.

Ziggy approaches Abby, pressing a whisk to his cheeks.

“Mummy? Can I help you make breakfast?”

Abby loves his willingness to help.

“Of course sweetie! Scrambled eggs?” In response Ziggy dances as he makes exaggerated whisking motions. She smiles at him and guides him through the process, egg going everywhere as he learns the art of the crack. His face lights up with pride when he gets most of the egg and only a little bit of shell into the bowl.

With everyone fed and happy, Abby makes moves to deal with the eggy mess all through the kitchen. Dale touches her back gently.

“Hey… what’s up?” Abby asks she wipes her hands on a tea towel.

“Abbs, do you remember that the Sullivans are coming over today?”

Oops. She vaguely remembered a mention of this… many months ago.

“Oh shiiit! When were they coming again?”

“At ten thirty, babes.” She glances at the clock that reads 10:09. He smiles. “I was wondering why you were messing around this morning.”

Oh shit, oh shit! She surveys the kitchen mess; she is still in her pajamas and hasn’t showered since yesterday morning. Panic starts to set in.

She looks at Dale. “That’s in 20 minutes! Shit! Oh-oops-I mean sugar… I haven’t showered yet!”

“Woaahh! Calm down. If you are going to bring this vibe-” He gestures vaguely towards her. “maybe its best if you tell them not to come”

Abby breathes deeply and tries to catch his eye, but he is elsewhere again. “OK… I’m sorry for freaking out. Can you help me?”

He shakes his head slightly and looks up. “Fine.” He snaps his phone off. “What do you need me to do?”

“Please can you clean up this kitchen mess… and, oh my god, there is still wrapping paper all over the living room… and the toilets… Ziggy needs more practice at aiming-” Her voice rises in speed and octave.

Dale does a hands-up pose. “OK, I’ll do what I can.”

Abby makes record speed in the shower, only concentrating on her armpits and groin, all the while her mind racing.

What can I wear?

There is dog poop in the backyard.

The kids’ rooms are messy.

Her hair needs washing, but there is no time, deciding to chuck it up into a bun.

She goes through her chaotic pile of clothes, frantically searching for something nice to wear. Tanya always looked so immaculate and put together, and Abby was feeling the pressure.

Tom bursts into the room. “Mummmyyy! Ziggy took my book! AND I didn’t say he could have it!”

“Tom, privacy please!” Abby straightens up quickly in her towel, aware of her nudity.

Ziggy walks in quietly behind him, clutching a Dog Man book, face red and tears in his eyes. “Tom hurt me.”

Fighting the urge to dismiss, she crouches down and gives Ziggy a hug.

Where is Dale? Why am I dealing with this right now?

She shouts out, her tone tight “Dale?! Can you please help with the boys?!”

No answer.

Then petulant stomping makes its way towards them.

Dale’s face is cold. He grabs Ziggy roughly on the shoulder.

“Boys… OUT.” He leads them out of the room, swinging the door violently towards close, stopping it right before it slams.

Abby gives up trying to look stylish and goes for denim shorts and a simple T-shirt. No time for makeup.

When Dale went stony like that, Abby felt the pressure.

She starts up the stairs and can hear extra voices in the house.

The Sullivans are here. She pauses and takes another deep breath, pushing the anxiety down.

Tanya embraces her in a hug; she smells wonderful, dressed in a flowing summer jumpsuit. Abby is aware that she looks a mess - still damp from the shower.

“Hi, Abby!!”

“Welcome, Tanya! Ahh sorry, I’m a bit wet, just got out of the shower.” Abby looks to Andrew. “Hi Andrew, Merry Christmas!”

Tanya responds with a laugh.

“Haha yeah, I was hoping that wasn’t sweat!”

Abby gives her a tight smile as Andrew jumps in. “Merry Christmas to you too!”

“Anyone for coffee?” Abby asks, too late.

Andrew chimes in, mug in hand “Now Abby, your husband there-” He nods and smiles at Dale, then makes intense eye contact with her. “-makes a killer coffee! Hold onto that one!”

Dale looks down and grins.

Abby smiles warmly at Andrew, silently thanking him for his kindness.

She makes her way to the coffee machine to make her brew as Dale and Andrew discuss where the beans are from.

Tanya sidles up, touching Abby gently on the arm. “You alright, hun?”

The coffee grounds spill out awkwardly, speckling all over the bench.

“Ahh whoops! Yeah, I’m OK. Had a mad rush this morning. The boys...you know?”

Tanya gives her a sympathetic look.

Abby pauses, noticing the lack of noise. “Do you know where the kids are?” Abby well knew that most times when there is quiet, there is mischief.

“Oh, they are playing on their iPads with Luke.” Luke was their son, a sophisticated, kind kid. Sometimes Abby wished they only had the responsibility of one boy but couldn’t imagine her life without either Tom or Ziggy.

Abby makes a mental note to check on them after she has made the guests feel welcome. She wasn’t comfortable with the boys immediately going to their screens when they had friends over. She hoped they could run around outside and just be kids.

It is nice to have some quiet for a moment, though.

Tanya and Abby exchange Christmas stories. The meltdowns, the exhaustion, the family dramas - while both maintaining (through forced smiles) that it was a good day, and it was worth it to see the “magic” of Christmas come alive.

With a lull in the conversation, Abby apologises for the state of the house. The egg mess is still evident, and they would have waded through the wrapping paper still scattered around the living room.

Andrew looks at her kindly. “It’s OK, Abby! We know you are having a hard time…”

Abby doesn’t understand what he means at first, but figures that he must have overheard her Christmas commiseration stories with Tanya. Maybe it sounded more distressing than it was?

Abby laughs. “Aren’t we all? This time of year is brutal!”

Dale invites Andrew and Tanya to come and see his best Christmas present - a meat smoker. They head outside.

Abby picks up the remaining eggshells, and as she wipes the bench, a niggling thought pops back into her head.

The text this morning-what did it say again? Something important she needs to know? About Dale?

She re-reads it once more.

Hi Abigail, I am reaching out because there is something I think you should know... It’s about your husband and it’s important. Please get back to me when you can.

Firstly - nobody calls her Abigail. Secondly - they don’t refer to Dale in the text-only your husband.

She postulates - Maybe this is a scam? A prank? If I reply, will my phone get a virus? Or hacked?

She goes to copy the phone number and Google it to see if she could find out who sent this when a small voice interrupts her.

“Abby…?”

She looks down at Luke. “Yes, darling?”

“Can you play with me?”

“Umm, yeah, sure? Did the boys not wanna play?” Cocern showing on her face.

“I asked, but they are on their iPads AND they won’t give me a turn.” She could see the sting on Luke’s face.

“OK, sweetie, let me sort it out.”

Abby gives him a pat and makes her way down the hallway, already dreading this interaction.

Neither look up as she opens the door.

She knocks. “Ahem, boys! Please turn it off. We have guests here and Luke wants to play. Why don’t you guys go on the trampoline or in the pool?”

They don’t look up.

She claps and raises her voice. “OK, boys. Off now!”

Tom looks at her. “Just after I finish this level!”

Ziggy chimes in. “But Daddy SAID we could have them!”

“No - now, please!”

Neither acknowledge her, heads down, captive to their digital worlds.

Abby feels utterly helpless.

Her options aren’t good. Brutal force? Bribing? Threats of punishments that will never come?

She lands on bribery. Seems like the least problematic.

“OK boys, remember how you said you wanted that new game? Maybe we can work towards getting that. But you need to switch off now and make our guests welcome.”

That gets their attention. Tom immediately turns it off and nudges Ziggy; he follows suit.

The three boys run from the trampoline to the pool, sweaty and laughing. Dale is showing off his best dives, while Tanya floats in the pool, staying close to Luke.

Abby brings out a cheese platter and drinks to the patio.

Beers for the men and wine for the ladies.

Andrew accepts the beer. “Cheers, thanks!” and goes back to checking his stocks online.

Abby takes a long sip of Pinot Gris and relaxes her shoulders as she sinks into her chair.

As she watches the kids in the pool, her eyes wander to Dale and Tanya sitting on the edge, chatting and laughing. Dale playfully splashes her.

She wonders if Dale is cheating. Is that the important thing from the message?

Abby considers asking Dale about it but can already feel the sting of him calling her insecure. Jealous. And the comments afterwards fill her with shame. She will internalise those remarks alone in the darkness.

Her therapist said to breathe and focus on the now when she felt herself slipping.

She asks Andrew how his stocks are going, and he launches into how it all works, showing her graphs on his phone.

She nods and smiles with polite interest.

Dale and Tanya rejoin them.

“Woah! Slow down, Abby!” Dale indicates towards her wine.

She didn’t notice she had nearly drunk the whole glass. Abby checks the other mostly full drinks.

Her cheeks burn with shame, and she murmurs, “Ahh yeah, sorry.”

Abby feels the tension from the group. She smiles at Andrew and Tanya and says brightly, “Cheers! I’m going to get some water! Anyone want some? I’ll bring some out for everyone anyway.”

She marches off to get the pitcher and glasses.

Behind her back, Abby senses that Dale made a gesture. She hears restrained laughter and glances back-Andrew and Tanya look down when she turns, and Dale is craning around with a playful look in his eye. He makes an exaggerated love heart with his hands.

“Awww sweet! You guys are the cutest!” Tanya says, high pitched and enthusiastic.

Abby controls her face and gives a small smile along with an exaggerated almost comical curtsy.

Burning on the inside, she checks on the kids. They are hungry. She makes a snack platter, with hopes that more than only the beige coloured foods are eaten.

She feels pressure behind her eyes. Abby considers another glass of wine but can’t face the judgment right now.

The atmosphere is awkward when she goes to the adults. Like walking into the wrong meeting room and interrupting the most important part.

Dale is leaning back, his eyes obscured by his sunnies; he could almost be a statue.

Andrew is leaning forward on his phone, engrossed in American politics now, muttering comments to nobody, while Dale looks completely blank.

Tanya gives a warm smile and Abby takes a seat next to her. When she finally settles, Dale’s head swivels, startling her.

“Abby, did you forget the water?”

“Ah bugger, yeah sorry...I’ll grab it now.” Abby smiles thinly; her cheeks are all out of blush.

As she makes a move to get up, Tanya jumps in. “No Abby, I’ll grab it! You sit down!” Already halfway to the kitchen.

Abby looks over to Dale and mouths, are you OK?

She can feel his eyes bore into her. After a moment, there is an almost imperceptible shake of the head.

Abby knows she has embarrassed him - or herself? She is not 100% sure but feels like crying regardless.

He moves suddenly, sitting up straight and then cracking his knuckles.

Andrew snaps out of his news consumption and looks at Dale, then Abby. Slapping his thighs, he announces, “Well guys, thank you for your beautiful hospitality but we should probably get Luke home.”

Dale says nothing, but his shoulders drop slightly.

As they pull out of the driveway, Dale has his arm around Abby, smiling and waving. Abby glances up at Dale’s face as the headlights flash across them. His jaw is tense.

Then it is dark.

Once the car is out of sight, he drops his arm stiffly and keeps his eyes facing forward.

Abby searches for his expression as he turns on his heel and takes huge, stompy strides towards the door.

She calls him in a weak voice. “Dale…”

He stops mid-stride and robotically rotates his torso towards her, challenge in his eyes.

“Are… you OK?” Her voice is even weaker.

He spits, “What the fuck do YOU think, Abby?” He rounds the corner and up the stairs two at a time.

Abby is frozen on the spot. It feels like that moment after dropping a glass - it's still midair, before the crash.

She hears him move to the bedroom. The door doesn’t slam.

After a few moments, she gets back into gear. The boys need a bath and to get to bed.

Zombielike, Abby goes up to the boys, and they stare at her wide-eyed as she enters their room.

Quietly, they comply. Everyone is on their best behaviour, and she is thankful.

They ask for Daddy when she tucks them in. Abby hesitates.

“Sorry, he is asleep, guys.”

They seem OK with this.

Tom says he is scared. Abby lay with him gently stroking his head until he is still and breathing steadily. She finds a safe space within herself….

She jolts from that ethereal place between dream and consciousness.

Dale is moving through the house.

She doesn’t want to go out there, but she has to.

He sits on the couch, changed into gym gear, fiddling with his earphones and shoes.

“Hey,” she says quietly, stopping outside the room, giving him space.

He pauses and slowly takes an earphone out, staying in profile.

He finally looks at her.

“I’m going to the gym.” His voice is expressionless.

He stands suddenly.

He walks toward her, eyes a void.

Abby is on the verge of tears and whispers, “I’m sorry.” Desperate for relief.

He breaks eye contact and moves past her, making a show of giving her a wide berth - like she was infected.

He looks over his shoulder right before he closes the door and says in a sing-song voice, “Don’t wait up!” with a smile that no mother would be proud of.

Once the door clicks shut, Abby watches it in a trance until the car is gone.

She finds herself in the kitchen, mechanically cleaning the space.

She wipes the benches.

The unviewed box inside of her opens a smidge.

Her body shudders.

She feels sick.

Flashes of his hard gaze.

Cruel words.

As she passes the front door. She is not sure if she should lock it or, keep it unlocked.

Either way, he would find fault in her decision.

She decides she doesn’t care.

Abby reaches for her phone and brings up the mysterious message from the unknown number.

She is ready to know.

She types.