It's Called Pain!!!

It amazes me about what one can hear and see at places like Starbucks and Subway. I couldn’t stop myself from overhearing a conversation between a man and a woman, until they left with a dramatic finish. Their conversation spurred me to write this story.

Her heart was broken, bleeding from all sides, pain that was hurting to the core, but nothing was seen outside to anyone. Neither the cracks in her heart nor the blood flowing from it or the throbbing pain. She wanted to cry but her eyes were reluctant to shed a tear. She was surprised by herself that she was very strong and mature in handling the situation. Even then, the whole situation hurt her really hard. There she was sitting all alone now in Starbucks, which she was not when she came in an hour ago. Vipin was also with her. They came in as always they do on almost every other day; it was kind of their lover's spot and has been for almost 4 years now, although from past 6 months they were in the process of separating out. But, today they had come to discuss the same fact and make a decision. She had found out something about him, had wanted to ask him, confront him and find a solution. And that resulted in her getting all this pain. She remembered the talk that they had.

"You have to come clear, Vipin. This is not fair for me or for you or for that matter of fact, for anyone involved with us.” said Ruchi.

"But, did we not decide, approx 6 months ago, that we should date other people because neither of us were going to marry each other for several reasons. We had decided that hadn't we?” asked Vipin.

"Yes, we did. But, we also decided to tell each other if we find a person to date or marry, right?", she retorted back.

"Yes, we did. And I am sorry that I had not told you before about Priya. I should have told. I could never find the right time to tell."

"Right time? Every time we spent together was a right time to tell, Vipin", sighed Ruchi. "And we had not completely separated also. We still live partially together although you have your own place now. You still come over to stay with me over night. We still spend time on weekends as couple."

"Yes, I know. I was hoping I could tell you every time. I was just worried that you will be hurt when I tell you about Priya and go away forever. I did not want to lose you also.", implored Vipin.

"Vipin! I never said we will lose our friendship. I think we have been friends for the past year more than lovers or GF/BF. This is what I did not want a situation to come to and had asked you several times to move out completely. Let's live separately and meet as friends which would have been lot easier to handle than this mess."

"I know. I am sorry."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yes!"

"Did you sleep with her?"

Vipin looked up at her with a guilty look and nodded. "It was an accident. I did not mean it to happen. It just happened."

Ruchi looked at Vipin, "When did this happen? And how many times? If I may ask."

"Twice it happened. Probably in last 3 months."

"Twice? Twice cannot be accident, Vipin! Added to the fact that in the last 3 months we slept together too. I know it was my mistake to do that. But, I never had an idea that you already had found a girl. If I had known, I would not have had slept with you at all. It is not fair on anyone's part.", yelled Ruchi.

Vipin looked around as some faces turned to look at them, but again they went back to what they were doing. "Ruchi, I am really really sorry. I know I made this a real mess, a real bad mess."

"Mess? Yeah it is a mess. How do you think I would have felt when you slept with me while sleeping with the other girl? You know how I feel now. I feel like I am a prostitute who was dedicated to one person without receiving any form of payment, neither love, nor money, nor friendship, nor trust. Have you ever thought about what I felt when you do such a thing? Did you even think for once about me when you were sleeping with her and thought how would I feel?"

"No, I did not. If I had done so, I would not have done this mistake. I just did not want to lose you forever and so could not tell you at all. I know, I should have told you, but I did not. I am sorry that I hurt you."

"Yes! You should be sorry for all this mess. You should have just told me when you found a new girl. We could have handled the situation better. And I know it was my mistake in not forcing you to keep things separate. I am sorry too. But, in the end I am the one getting hurt in every way, right? I should have known and done better.” sighed Ruchi

"Ruchi! I am really sorry", Vipin touched Ruchi's hand in comfort.

"You know what. I don't know what to say. I was the one who pushed you to find a girl for yourself. And I don’t even know if I have to feel sad or angry now. I am not even getting tears, which you know how often I get. I am not even fighting like how I usually do. I am not even reasoning out like how I usually do. I am just numb. Blank. And all I can think of is it is time to make our break up more hard-lined", looking at Vipin, taking her hand back said Ruchi.

"Which means you will go away forever from me, right? I know you might not trust me anymore. Is that what you mean?” questioned Vipin with tears in his eyes.

"No! I will always be there for you when you need me. But, I think we should breakup. We should.” Ruchi said with slight tears in her eyes.

"I understand. Let me cleanout from you apt this weekend. I am really sorry.” sighed Vipin with his hands on his head.

"Irony is that, in two days, we would have completed 4 years of our relationship. Good that it turned into just friends before that. Else, it would have hurt me much more than this. I am sorry too.” closing her eyes sighed Ruchi.

"Please don't leave me and go.” implored Vipin again.

"No, I am not going. I am just making our paths separate and parallel rather than just one path. That way we don’t cross each other, yet face each other all along.", said Ritu.

"I am sorry".

That was what the last thing Vipin spoke before he left. She did not move from where she was sitting, since she wanted time for herself. Ruchi thought, 'It hurt all over again to think of it again. How could he have done that to me? He was not in his teens to do so. A well-built, matured and well-settled man. This was simply so hard to bear. Wish I could go back and change all this, so we could just be friends. Technically, he had not cheated on me since we stopped being BF/GF for over 6 months. But, we did share the bed occasionally, may be that was the mistake. I should have not done that. We had become so comfortable with each other that even sharing the bed was nothing unique; it was just out of habit or out of comfort. Will I be able to be friends with him again? Will I be able to behave normally in front of him without having any questions in my mind? Will we ever be normal again?'.

Ruchi remembered the novel, Rogue by Danielle Steele, that she recently completed reading. A similar kind of situation the heroine of the novel was in with different circumstances. 'Will I be able to forgive him like the character? I should have seen this coming. I should have known that I would be the one more hurt with him than him getting hurt. I am not even getting tears. God! Please take this pain away!'. Thinking so, she rubbed her eyes, got up and walked out to her car. Still hurt, still with pain in her heart, still with broken pieces, she drove away hoping this is the day she would close the chapter in her life, hoping for a new day tomorrow. The clouds turned gray and darkened responding to her mood, and closing the little light that was seen in front of her. She laughed at nature's irony, yet drove along, to unknown destination, to unknown tomorrow, to unknown future, with the pain of yesterday and hurt of today carrying in her shattered heart.

Well! I changed the ending. In reality, the girl slapped the guy, kicked him on his legs, toppled the coffee on to him, punched him on his face, yelled at him to get away from her house that very minute and while storming out keyed his car too! LOL! That would have been a good ending. But, for some reason I went with this ending.