No lies.

August 10 2000.

The sun in Tucson was scorching as always. But he sat peacefully overlooking the city while he searched for the house of his longtime friend Michael, an once successful writer, still alive and writing, but retired. He smiled when he saw the condo, remembering the time when he heard he bought it because he needed the escape from the long cold winters in New Jersey. Both were very happy back then. Everything in both lives was good. Michael already was a best selling author when he met him and persuaded him to become a professional writer. His first novel became a best seller. Movie companies became interested. The future looked bright. His smile faded when he thought about last year. He remembered it very well. But he made an important decision, no turning back.

February 4 1999.

As always the post was on time. Sherylee sweetie please fetch the mail for me Floyd whispered to his 10 year old daughter who sat on his lap. Both sat every morning in his office behind the computer checking for the most important e-mail. Nothing there, yet. The blue eyed light brown girl looked at him. “I know what to do dad, it is the same routine everyday " ! He smiled while she sprinted to the frontdoor. Look what I have dad she shouted when she came back with two large thick envelopes. He looked at her, enjoying her enthousiasm and beauty as always. Thank you he said while frowning looking at the envelopes. He never received big thick envelopes. “Can you get me another cup of coffee please and then we will open the post together okay ?” He waited untill his only child sat on his lap again. “You may open the one with the letters MGM on it, but do it slowly as always. The other one I’ll do myself, okay ? " She opened it slowly cutting from her instead of towards her like she was taught. Her tiny fingers fumbled inside the envelope and handed the stack of papers to him. He smiled when he looked at the first page with the headline “Contract”. His smile broadened when he saw the numbers which he remembered from the endless meetings. Five years, one million USD. Exactly what he negotiated for, for a long time. “Come , we are gonna surprise mama !” They rushed to the little recordingstudio where Bob Marley was singing that we all must love each other. Zekia was singing along with it trying to record her version of it. Born in Jamaica they both met in Tucson on her first tour in North America. Because they always wanted at least one child she decided to put her music career temporarily on hold. They both waited untill she was finished. “We finally made it mam” the girl shouted while he gave Zekia the contract. “Now you can do what you always wanted to do !” She meant her dream of singing in a movie. Zekia looked at the stack of papers trying to understand that both their dreams had come true. Then at her husband. “Yes honey, it is true, we only have to sign it”. Then, a burst of laughter, a mix of joy and unbelieve. She picked up Sherylee and danced and sang out loud in the studio. Floyd smiled, their lives would become perfect. “I’ll leave you, I must open the other envelope, we will celebrate tonight at our favourite pizza place , okay” ? he shouted at them. He returned to his office and stood at his desk to open the second envelope. With trembling hands he browsed through the pages to the last page because there would be their conclusion, the rest they always sent for him to re read, tests, progression, etc. etc. Stage 1 cancer, 2 years left.

The sun was about to set when he heard “no woman no cry” suddenly. What the hell he thought while opening his eyes. He must have dozed off and been dreaming about last year. Images of the endless chemo sessions mixed with the good times with his family. It was the favourite song and ringtone of his wife. “It had better be important Zekia, I am in the middle of something very important while thinking of the bottle of pills in his pocket”. “Whatever you do, come home now she shouted, I have very good news. The hospital called. Somehow they made a mistake, you are officially cancerfree “ ! He stared at the phone, trying to understand it. 10 Seconds passed before he answered. “This can not be true , can it ?” " It is, it is honey, I asked 3 times” ! Again, a long pause. “I will be there in half an hour” he said with a trembling voice. “Are you okay, what are you doing there where ever you are ? " Nothing special, just enjoying the scenery as always he answered as confident as possible. Do not worry. “Okay, see you later, we have pizza tonight to celebrate. We love you…forever, and no secrets ! " Then, silence. Clutching the bottle of pills he cried silently, tears of joy poured down his cheeks. Since he heard the bad news he had been preparing himself for this moment without telling his family. February 4 1999 changed his life permanently, for the best and worst. Fame but also a declining health resulting in the inevitable. A road to hell for sure. He had seen that so many times, friends and relatives dying, all younger than him. But he would end his life on his terms, without telling anyone. He stopped crying and realised how unfair he had been all the time not telling his family about his plan. “We tell each other everything, no lies”. That became their mantra, “no lies”. He looked at the house of his friend now covered in the last orange light of the setting sun. He still had his wife, kid, fame, his longtime friend Michael, and foremost, his health. He stood up, took the big bottle of sleepingpills, placed it on a rock and smashed it with a big branch. With every big thud he repeated their mantra, over and over again. “No lies, no lies”. When he was calm enough he went downhill, relieved, born again. He looked back when he reached the city limits. Staring at the top of the hill he whispered one more time. No lies…

The end.