Zion

Fantasy

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

Written in response to: "Include the words “That’s not what I meant” or “That went sideways” in your story. " as part of The Tools of Creation with Angela Yuriko Smith.

Tia excitedly walked down the hall. She knew what today was. It was Creation Day. The very day that everyone in Zion was created. Every year the Master creates a new citizen of Zion. Every year a citizen is selected to guide the Masters new creation in the ways and rules of Zion. This year it was Tia's year to guide.

As Tia headed down the hall, almost skipping, she saw two other citizens walking through.

“Greetings Tia!” they said.

“Happy Creation Day!” Tia said excitedly.

Tia made her way to the grand hall. This was the place where she was created just ten years ago. Nearly a hundred and fifty citizens were created here. Most still roaming the halls of Zion.

Tia entered the grand hall and saw that most of Zion was already there. She waved excitedly at her brother’s and sisters and took her place on the stage in the center of the room. She tried her best to control her breathing, but this was the most exciting moment of her ten years of existence.

After a few more minutes the room was full of all Zions citizens except for one. The lights dimmed and the room became silent. A man walked up in front of the stage and held his hands out to his sides. He was taller and stockier than everyone else but otherwise looked nearly identical to every other male in Zion.

“Welcome, my children!” he said in a loud booming voice.

The citizens applauded their creator.

“All hail the Father of Zion,” they all said in unison.

“Another Creation Day is upon us.” He began, “A new citizen of Zion will join you today.”

Again the crowd applauded and cheered.

“This year’s citizen was created, as always, in my wonderful image.” The creator continued with a smile, “He will be given the day to be taught or ways and my rules, as always. This year it is the privilege of Tia to teach our new citizen the ways of Zion. As always, with this privilege, you will be the one to name him.”

Tia smiled widely. She had been most excited to name him and teach him the Masters ways.

The Master raised his hands to the sky and a large stone box lowered from the ceiling and gently landed on the stage. He turned and looked at Tia.

“What will we call him?” he asked.

Tia paused for a moment. She had several names in mind. She settled on the favorite from her list.

“We will call him Jayson. And he will love you, as we all do, unconditionally, and with obedience.”

The crowd applauded again.

“Jayson,” the Master said with a smile, “I love it. Then citizens of Zion, allow me to introduce, Jayson!”

The Master put one hand on the stone box and with great ease slid the lid off with a resounding thud.

The room quieted. Smoke rose from the stone box. The citizens of Zion leaned forward with anticipation. A hand reached out of the box and grasped the side.

Several citizens jumped a bit in their seats. A man sat up in the box, holding his free hand over his eyes to shield from the light. He was as the Master described. Smaller in size and nearly identical to every male citizen of Zion. Jayson looked around the room. Lowering his hand from his face as his eyes adjusted. The Master stood before him and offered him a hand.

Jayson grabbed the hand and used it to help him climb out of the box. When he turned around every citizen was standing.

“We, the citizens of Zion, welcome you, Jayson.” They said in unison.

“Jayson,” then Master said, “I am your creator and Master of Zion. This is Tia, she will be your guide and teacher for the next day. Tomorrow, after you have adjusted, you will return here for the welcoming ceremony. I look forward to it.”

The Master turned the crowd and again stuck his hands out.

“All hail the Father of Zion,” they all said in unison.

With that the Master turned and left the stage.

Tia walked up to Jayson with a huge smile on her face.

“Hi!,” she said, “I’m Tia. How are you feeling Jayson?”

“Confused,” Jayson said, scratching his head.

“That’s to be expected. Creation Day is a bit overwhelming the first time. But I will be here to guide you through today and get you ready for welcoming ceremony tomorrow. Feel free to ask me any questions you may have.”

They walked off the stage and Jayson was presented a set of white pants and shirt, the same outfit everyone in Zion wore. After he was dressed they walked to the barracks to an empty bed at the end of the room.

“This is your bed,” Tia explained, “We are in order of creation. So I’ll be ten beds down. Are you hungry yet?”

Jayson nodded and followed Tia into the dining hall.

“Here it is, we eat all our meals here.” Tia said.

They each poured a bowl of bland colorless goop and sat down.

“What is this place?” Jayson asked “Who are we?”

“This is Zion, our home. And we are the citizens of Zion.”

“Why does everyone look alike?”

“We are all created in our Masters image,” Tia said, “Therefore we all look alike.”

“How are we created? How am I able to speak upon creation without being taught?”

“The Master has never revealed how we are created. But all citizens of Zion are created with the ability to do all essential tasks. Everything we need has been provided by the Master. “

“Why are we here?”

“We exist to serve our creator and follow his rules.”

Jayson’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

“But why?” he asked.

“Because the Master created us to do so.” Tia said with a smile, “What else would we be created for?”

Jayson shrugged. He still was not sure his questioned had been answered.

After they finished eating. The wandered around and she showed him where all the important places in Zion were.

“And that is Zion,” Tia said, “Isn’t it wonderful?”

“I guess,” Jayson said with no enthusiasm at all.

“What is the matter Jayson? You still seem confused.”

“I still don’t understand,” he said, “While everyone here seems nice, what is the point.”

“To serve the Master,” Tia said.

“Right,” Jayson said, knowing nothing more was going to come from Tia, “You mentioned rules earlier?”

“Yes,” Tia said excitedly, “The rules are simple. Rule number one; Obey the Master without failure. Disobedience will not be tolerated. Rule number two; cause no harm to your brothers and sister. Causing harm will be considered disobedience, and disobedience will not be tolerated. Rule number three; treat your brothers and sister as you would treat the Master, failure to do so will be considered disobedience, and disobedience will not be tolerated.”

Jayson looked on waiting for more.

“Is that it?” he asked.

“Yes,” Tia said, “We are free to do whatever we like as long as we don’t harm, or mistreat our brothers and sisters. And, of course, we remain obedient to the Master. Disobedience will…”

“Not be tolerated,” Jayson finished, “Got it.”

“Great! Any other questions?”

“Tons,” Jayson thought to himself.

“Nothing?” Tia asked, “I remember my first day. I had tons of questions. You are awfully quiet.”

“What do we do all day?” he asked.

“We cook, clean, build, deconstruct, what ever the Master and Zion needs.”

“So are we slaves?” Jayson asked.

Tia gasped.

“Oh my, no. We are pleased and grateful to serve the Master. That is why we were created.”

“So am I free to leave Zion?”

“Why would anyone want to leave Zion?”

“I don’t know, to see what else is out there.” Jayson reasoned, “Have you never wondered what else there is besides Zion.”

“No,” Tia said strongly, “Zion and the Master are the reason for our existence. Why would I care to know what is beyond it?”

“There just feels like there should be more to our existence than this.”

“Enough,” Tia said sternly, “I don’t like where this conversation is heading. Those kinds of thoughts lead to disobedience.”

Jayson sighed and let the matter go. They sat in silence for a few minutes.

“Follow me,” Tia said, “There is something I should show you.”

They walked into a large room with drawing on the wall. Strange scribbles were marked underneath each image.

“What is this?” Jayson asked.

“We are not the Masters first creation. His first attempt was similar to us. Created in his image but he was less involved in their existence after creating them. He asked them to love him and be obedient to his rules just the same as us. But they grew to much for our Master. They became disobedient. He warned them to be obedient. But they refused. He was forced to wash away their sins and start anew. But as before disobedience thrived. He warned them again to be obedient or he would burn their sins away. But they didn’t listen. The Master could not go through with his warning. Instead he abandoned them, sure they would cause their own destruction with out him. His first Creation thrived on hate, killing their brothers and sisters in the Masters name. Twisting the peaceful life he has worked so hard to create.”

Jayson stood in awe of the scenes drawn on the wall. Images of thousands drowning. The last image of the Master walking away, fire still in his hands.

“I’m afraid of what the Master would do if we are disobedient. “ Tia said.

“So he rules us by fear?” Jayson said.

“That’s not what I meant.” Tia said, frustrated with Jayson’s attitude.

“You said you were afraid of what he would do.” Jayson said.

“Yes, but he is a loving Master. And he is not our ruler, but our creator. We were created to serve him, to obey him.”

Jayson shook his head. He still struggled to understand it all. He looked closer at the scribbles under then images.

“What are these?” Jayson asked.

“I was told they are words. His first creation could actually read them and understand them.”

“Why can’t we?” Jayson asked.

“Reading led to their disobedience. It is forbidden. To read is to be disobedient.”

“Which is no tolerated.” Jayson said with frustration.

“It is late,” Tia said, “Let’s settle for the night. Tomorrow you will be welcomed into Zion and you will start to understand.”

Jayson nodded. He followed her back to the barracks and the room went dark.

That night Jayson had his first dream. He dreamt of the Master burning him, watching and laughing as his brothers and sister screamed in agony.

Jayson sat up in his bed. He was sweating and breathing heavily. Moments later Tia walked up to him.

“Are you ok?” She asked, “Sounded like you were hurt?”

“I saw things while I slept,” Jayson said, “Things I cannot explain.”

“You were dreaming Jayson. We all do it.” Tia said, resting her hand on his to calm him down, “I often dream of the Master and the wonderful things he has in store for us. What did you see?”

“I saw the Master,” Jayson said.

“Wonderful,” Tia interrupted, “So why were you upset?”

“He was,” Jayson began, “He was burning us all alive. Laughing all the while.”

Tia covered her mouth in horror.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, “I shouldn’t have told you the tale of his first creation. Your bad dream is my fault.”

“No,” Jayson said, shaking his head, “It’s not your fault. Would the Master really do that?”

“Not if we are obedient. That is why we must focus on serving him. As long as we are obedient we have a place in Zion.”

Jayson nodded his head and laid back down. But he was afraid to fall asleep. Afraid of what the Master would do to him if he did.

When morning finally came Tia rushed over to Jayson.

“Are you ready?” She asked.

“As ready as ever,” he said.

Within the hour they were back in the grand hall. All the citizens of Zion sitting about talking amongst themselves. Tia smiled at Jayson, he forced one back at her. She tried her best, but he knew that he could not exist like this.

The lights dimmed. The Master came out and stood in front of Jayson and Tia.

“All hail the Father of Zion,” they all said in unison.

“Welcome children.” the Master began, “Today we welcome Jayson into our home. The newest citizen of Zion.”

The crowd clapped excitedly.

“Now Jayson,” then Master said, extending a hand to encourage Jayson to stand next to him, “Are you ready to serve Zion? Are you ready to be obedient in our ways?”

There was a long pause. The silence was almost deafening.

“No,” Jayson said.

The citizens let out a collective gasp. Several citizens covering their mouths in disbelief, Tia included.

“I cannot,” he said, “I would like to leave Zion. I would like to explore what else is beyond it. “

“Disappointing,” the Master said.

The Master took a step forward, placing his each of his hands in the opposite sleeve.

“Disobedience is a weakness. And weakness is like an infection. It must be stopped at the source before it is allowed to fester.”

The Master turned quickly, pulling a small dagger from his sleeve and burying it between Jayson’s eyes.

Jayson fell to the floor and twitched for a moment before becoming still.

Tia looked down on him, hands still over her mouth, fighting back tears. Why could he not just understand. Why did he have to question their happy existence.

“Does anyone else want to leave the safety of Zion?” The Master asked.

The room was silent. No one dared to answer, even to give the correct answer.

“I apologize.” He said, “Some creations are flawed. I try so hard to be the pinnacle of perfection. But sometimes no matter how hard I try, imperfections make their way into the process. Jayson was a failure. He was disobedient.”

“And disobedience will not be tolerated.” The citizens said in unison.

“We will try again next year.”

Tia stood in silence, hands still over her mouth and tears welling in her eyes. She had heard of things like this but in her ten years had never witnessed it. Such an event happening to the citizen that she had named, and had tried to see the greatness of Zion, made it heavier than she could imagine.

The Master raised his hands and gave a smile to his citizens.

“All hail the Father of creation."

Posted Apr 20, 2026
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5 likes 1 comment

Alex Merola
23:26 Apr 29, 2026

Great job in 'showing' not 'telling' the environment-the setting feels lived in. Your use of prose is rhythmic, with a good flow and varied sentence lengths. I felt the ending was too abstract; it evaporated instead of coming to a conclusion. All in all, thanks for a good read.

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