Canker bloom

The sight would haunt him not for one lifetime but for many lifetimes. A soul-destroying moment, realizing his worst nightmare was a dreadful and sad situation and reminded him of Shakespeare’s sonnet about canker blooms. Shakespeare always seemed to know a thing or two about one’s heart’s desire, and the general topic of love in a superficial way, epitomized as the sight of a beautiful blooming red rose. Blinded by love, the blooming bud of the rose represents unrequited love. Without consideration for what might be happening on the inside of one’s heart’s desire. Completely vulnerable, and with the inability to control love, as one’s vision of love and beauty suffocates and distorts the mind. Just like staring at the beauty of a wild rose, without considering its inner fragrance, or its fleeting beauty or fragility. True beauty of the rose bloom is preserved by its scent, its eternal essence, rather than its outward appearance. Alan knew the meaning of the sonnet, but that did not stop him from losing his heart anyway in the painful learning process. Not foreseeing the canker, in his full blossom of love for Caris, but alas, just like the beautiful red rose bloom; love eventually faded and decayed.

Canker blooms replacing the full blossoms of love he had once cherished, love perished before his eyes. He now watched in horrific silence, a silent witness to the obvious, as the canker blooms of his love suddenly lay littered at his feet. From the very second of discovery, he already felt dead, removed, invisible to the relaxed and unguarded intimate movements and signs amongst the trio downstairs. His best friend Jeremy with his own current girlfriend, together with his cherished loved one - Caris. Nonetheless to watch those intimate signs of affection and desire, between his best friend and his true love, was a betrayal of his trust, a betrayal by his declared love, and it felt like a silent death knell inside both his head and heart.

The way the trio looked at each other, as he remained unseen, the fly on the wall. They were unaware he had appeared at the top of the stairs. Not only did the scene cut his heart out, but it also laid it bare, and just like the decaying rose which perished to a canker bloom, never to be replenished. Never again to recapture its former blooming beauty.

Only cherished memories remained, the fragrance of love once felt but now forever destroyed. His mind followed his heart and shattered like breaking glass upon the floor together with his dreams.

The two girls had always joked about being look-a-like sisters and decided to buy and then wear the same erotic outfits. Tightly fitted black leather skirts, matching black leather belts, and black patent leather high heels, with uniform style gray blouse. Invitingly unbuttoned open to reveal proud and pumped-up cleavage. The unbuttoning was provocative; a sign of competitiveness between the two girls. They both looked like a pair of sexy military cadets; the outfits created a slave-like appearance of obedience. Dressed to kill by slow torturous powers of sexual domination. They both laughed and joked unashamedly at breakfast. Both were excited not just by wearing matching outfits, their mischief was concealed as their wandering hands played under the table. Mischievous hands searching for a response to their heightened desires.

“We are the slaves of Adonis, ready to please our men” they said in unison, their voices portrayed inner playful excitement, in shrill singing voices. The truth: the statement was made only to one man sitting at the table, Jeremy, as both the women had their hands slowing stroking his thigh, searching, feeling for a reaction. Both were aroused by their playful naughty advances, especially since the other man sitting at the same round table was completely unaware of the activities taking place out of sight under the tablecloth.

Alan stood up and announced. “I must take a call in my room. Work never stops.” He paused for a reaction, but none was given, so he continued. “I won’t be long, wait for me, I’ll join you for the walk.”

He could have been invisible, the two girls only had eyes for Jeremy, as their hands continued to explore.

Jeremy and Alan had been friends from their first school. Coming from different backgrounds, Alan from a wealthy legacy, although his parents were not philanthropists like his grandparents. The family had inherited so much wealth; it was a full-time job maintaining the family assets generation by generation. Alan studied art history and became a specialist at Sotheby’s in Middle Eastern art and artifacts.

Jeremy was the polar opposite to Alan in some ways; he only possessed one asset and that was his Adonis good looks. He would walk into a room, and all the feminine eyes would be transfixed on his male beauty and wondering where or who was sleeping with him that night. His looks created unbridled lust.

It was the same at school; all the girls were attracted by Jeremy’s good looks. If Alan thought long and hard about his friendship with Jeremy, he might find a hard truth. He was also subconsciously attracted by the perfect male features of the look-a-like Adonis. Everybody seemed to be mesmerized, even Alan’s parents, especially his mother, who dotted on Jeremy, like a long-lost son. Alan thought to himself, when he was feeling depressed, that his parents would prefer Jeremy for their son over himself. Alan had always lacked inner confidence, and as Jeremy’s looks always attracted attention, Alan would often bask in the attention as well, in an afterglow secondhand way.

His shy and unconfident manner went unnoticed in the company of a small group, when Jeremy and he were out together. Although there were always girls, some of the girls would miss out on gaining Jeremy’s undivided attention. Consequently, Alan often met these girls that were left behind, sometimes picking up the pieces of the girl’s shattered dreams concerning the shining star named Jeremy.

Jeremy and Alan were not exactly close friends. No one got close to Jeremy, he hid his feelings deep inside, and most times said very little at all. Surprisingly, he found he didn’t need to speak, his followers, his worshippers, didn’t want this perfect specimen of male beauty to converse, they would do the talking for both, as they stared and became enraptured by Jeremy’s perfect looks.

Consequently, Jeremy grew this look, a smoldering look, a look of mystery, which only encouraged; yet enhanced his onlookers’ desires. No one ever really knew what Jeremy was thinking beyond his look, and in fact, no one really cared, the onlookers were more consumed with their wanting, mesmerized with their own dreamy fantasies.

It was the reason Caris was so different and so cherished in Alan’s heart. He had met Caris on his own, without Jeremy; during an auction, and their relationship had blossomed without Jeremy being involved at all. It made Alan so proud of himself, that he invited Jeremy and his current partner Candyse to his grandparent’s country manor for the weekend, with the main ploy of introducing his Caris to Jeremy. He felt so proud and very much in love, especially since she was such a stunner, his beautiful blooming red rose.

He heard their giggling, hushed and mumbling voices below, before he saw them from the top of the stairs, as he walked from the bedroom to the top of the long downward staircase. That’s the moment, the instant he could see them all, and the sight combined with the realization caused him to shudder. He was unseen to anyone below, hidden in the dark shadows at top of the stairs. Invisible to the trio waiting downstairs, as they relaxed and in that unguarded intimate movements burnt an imagine behind his staring eyes.

His Caris was standing facing him with a face of pure happiness, her hand was hidden behind Jeremy side profile. They were either holding hands, or Caris was exploring Jeremy’s backside. Both Jeremy and Candys were standing opposite at each other with a staring look of intend, only their profiles were seen from his view. Alan with his bird’s eye view thought he witnessed subtle silent messages being exchanged between the ever silent and smoldering look from Jeremy to Candys, an unspoken message which Alan had seen before, when Jeremy had captured more than one woman admirer.

“Three is never a crowd, it only makes for more interesting!”

The crack from one of loose staircase wooden steps made the threesome downstairs suddenly aware of Alan’s presence descending the stairs. All three stiffened in response from their previous relaxed posture.

Cadis moved forward between the standing figures of Jeremy and Candys, and Alan noticed she quickly moved her occupied right hand from behind the back of Jeremy. She greeted Alan with a big smile, and then jumped into his arms, and without any invitation she kissed him on the lips, her tongue exploring his unexpected and indefensible lips. Cadis hungrily wrapped her legs around Alan’s body and sank provocatively into his midsection. It was completely wanton, and it sent an erotic message to all those that witnessed it.

“We all missed you darling. My special darling, my sweet lover Alan” She gushed as soon as she finished with her open-mouthed kiss. But she remained hanging like a monkey around Alan’s neck, with her skirt hiked up to enable her slender unhindered legs to lock around Alan’s midriff.

The unexpectedness of Cadis’ leap and the resulting wanton display surprised Alan into embarrassment. He had suddenly become the centre of attention; it was an unusual sensation. He stood stupidly supporting her slight weight, grinning, not knowing what to do next, and thinking to himself.

“Maybe I’m mistaken, maybe it’s my mind working overtime. I do love Cadis, that is certain.”