Meeting of the Minds

Danny ran his hand through his graying hair and clenched and unclenched his fists. This psychologist was taking some of the last of his savings. He didn’t know if he should dread or look forward to talking to him.

The doctor asked him to be seated across from his desk. “Why have you come to me?”

“I’m depressed. I can’t think about anything but my problems. I lived paycheck to paycheck and now I’ve lost my job. My wife divorced me. My children don’t want to be around me. To top it all off WWIII has started.”

“WWIII has not started. You can cross that off your list. Do you have religious convictions? Do you know someone like a pastor or a priest who can help you with your problems? They will be more familiar with your specific circumstances.

“No. That’s why I’m here.”

“My advice is,” said the psychologist, “Slow down. Do breathing exercises. Journal your negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts.”

“Is that it?”

“You only paid for fifteen minutes of advice. I hate saying more without learning more about you and how you think about your problems.”

On the way home, Danny bought a spiral, lined notebook to use as his journal.

“The president,” wrote Danny, “has done a good of keeping WWIII from starting.” He ran his hand through his hair. “That sounds like a lie.”

“Doesn’t it though?”

Danny jumped at the voice of the man standing beside him. “Who are you? And how’d you get in here?”

“My name’s Doubt. I’ve been with you the whole time.” Doubt leaned toward Danny. “Jumped right out of your thoughts and into a form you could see.” He straightened and held out his arm. “See, I’m real. Pinch me.”

Danny stood to cautiously reach out to pinch him.

“Ouch.”

“I guess you’re real. Or I’m going crazy. I wish I had faith in God enough that He would take you away.”

“Faith at your service,” said a young child. Danny jumped again. Beside him on the other side, stood a four-year-old girl. “Another person? How’d you get in here? I didn’t invite you.”

Faith shrugged. “You wished for faith. And here I am.”

“I had in mind for God to snap his fingers and make Doubt and my problems disappear.…I can’t believe this is happening. I never invited Doubt. And I don’t know how Faith thinks she will help me.” Danny squeezed his head with his hands. “Go away!”

Danny closed his eyes. “I want this illusion to be gone.” When he opened his eyes, Doubt and Faith stood side by side facing him.

Doubt, in his prime, stood taller than Danny. His physique and facial features Danny could only envy. Faith appeared to be frail, but not fearful. Rather than looking around the room, they were focused on him.

“I can’t believe,” said Danny, “this is happening. If you’re my thoughts, I’ll make my mind go blank.” He closed his eyes, but after only a half minute, he opened them .

“Doesn’t work,” said Doubt.

“God is having mercy on you,” said Faith. “A blank mind opens you up to worse things. You must choose between me and him. No in between.”

“Listen to me,” said Doubt. “What she says doesn’t matter because it won’t make a difference.”

Danny sat down at his desk with his journal. “I got to write something.”

“Nothing’s coming to mind, is it?” said Doubt. “Why not look on the internet for something to take your mind off your problems?

Danny paused as he weighed trying to write versus watching YouTubes.

Faith looked over his shoulder. “Write, whatever things are lovely and whatever things are of good report I will think about.” Danny followed her advice.

Danny thought he heard a creak and looked at Faith. She smiled.

“Do you miss your ex?” asked Doubt.

“No,” said Danny. “She nagged me about taking trash out, not making enough money, and not caring about the children.”

“Exactly,” said Doubt.

“Do you remember,” said Faith, “the pictures where you and your family visited your parents at Christmas? The kids and your wife sang,” and Faith sang the words. “Over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house we go.”

“I remember those pictures,” said Danny, “I still have them.” He smiled despite himself. “Dad insisted on playing Santa Claus. The two older children loved it, but two-year-old Lucy climbed on my lap. She only quit being afraid of him when he took the beard and hat off.”

“Nice memories,” Doubt drawled. “It won’t happen again. It’s in the past. And. Will it buy your bread and pay for utilities?”

Danny sighed. “I guess not. Maybe I’ll be homeless on the streets.”

“That’s right,” said Doubt.

“Yeah, but it’s a nice memory,” said Danny. “I think I’ll write that down.” He scribbled on a page..

“You have,” said Faith, waving her arm around the room and at the window. “Rent paid up for a month. And a car that doesn’t need fixed.”

Danny perked up. “That’s right. How did you know?”

“Like Doubt, I can be your thoughts. And God listens to thoughts.” Danny squirmed.

“Are you going to apply for a job again?” said Doubt. “How many places have you been turned down already?”

Danny sighed, frowned and said mournfully, “I don’t know. I’ll apply again.”

“I have a thought for you,” said Faith. “Why don’t you write a skills resume?”

Danny sucked in his lower lip and paused. “I’ll try that.… But what skills do I have?”

“None,” said Doubt.

Danny ran his hand through his hair.

“Who wants to hire and train someone over fifty years old?”

“Well,” said Danny, “I’ll try…Skills resume.” He picked up his old resume and wrote a list.

The next time he looked at Faith, he stared. “Have you grown? While we’ve been talking?”

“I’m a child. I’m supposed to grow.”

Danny examined Doubt’s face. It had a few new wrinkles where there had been none.

“I’m feeling a little better,” said Danny. Think I’ll go get some groceries.”

Danny stopped heading out the door to look back. “You guys stay here. I don’t want to explain something you might say which I don’t want everyone to hear.”

“You don’t have a choice,” said Doubt. “I’m going. Faith, you’re only a child. You stay behind.”

“I’m going to be as much a part of his thoughts as you are.” Faith stomped her foot. “I’m going and you can’t stop me.”

Danny rolled his eyes and hurried to his car in hopes of losing them.

In the grocery store, Danny saw Faith and Doubt behind him.

Danny followed Doubt’s finger where he pointed. “Look over there,” said Doubt. “There’s the beer aisle. Do you want beer to help you forget your problems?” Danny checked how much money was in his billfold. Looking over his shoulder, Doubt said, “Not much there, but there’s enough for beer.”

“You’ll get raging mad by drinking beer,” said Faith. “That’ll make you crazier than you already feel you are.”

“I don’t want to hear from either of you,” said Danny covering his ears with his hands.

He heard Faith clearly despite covering his ears. “If you spent less time with Doubt and more time with me, you wouldn’t be so surprised at what I say.” Danny took his hands off his ears.

“Ah,” said Doubt, “if beer’s not your thing, why not buy some wine? I hear Chardonnay is really good.”

“Wine is a mocker.” Faith spat the words at Doubt before turning to Danny. “You will be believing a lie if you think liquor will make you forget. Be smart. Don’t buy any."

Danny hurried away from them to the another aisle. He picked up orange juice, milk, then a brownie mix. As he chose the mix, he asked Faith, “Aren’t you going to get after me for buying unhealthy food?”

“There are more important things than food,” she said.

“I want out of here,” Danny murmured. He made it through the self-checkout and into the car. But there they were again.

“You’re fooling yourself,” said Doubt, “if you think you can lose me. And if you think you can ignore me all the time, you’ll be white knuckling each time I say something.”

Danny’s hair was in his eyes, so he ran a hand through his hair.

“Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit,” said Faith.

“Who said that?” said Danny.

“God through Zechariah…It means God can help you a lot.”

Danny paused before starting his car. “What if a car pulls out in front of me and I get hit? Or worse, if I hit it and total my car? I won’t have any way to look for a job.”

“That’s right,” said Doubt. “Play it safe. Why take a chance to be sued? Don’t drive your car at all. Stay at home.

“Walk by me,” said Faith, “and not by sight.”

Danny groaned and spoke loudly. “I don’t even know what that means.”

“It means if you don’t see it, you don’t believe it. But when if believe for something, you’ll see it.”

“Let me guess. Something from the Bible.”

“Yes. Saint Paul said it.”

“That’s like a bunch of hogwash,” said Doubt. “What good will that do? You have to see something to know it’s true.”

“Think on positive things,” said Faith, “Isn’t that what the psychologist told you?”

“I feel like.” Danny breathed deep. His hand rose to his hair. “I’m lying to myself if I say it will make a difference.”

“You have used it before,” she said. “Remember the red roses you gave your wife on Valentine’s Day? You acted on the hope that she would like them,” said Faith.

“Oh yeah. She did like them.”

And what would it feel like,” asked Faith, “if you volunteered your service at the hospice center? Your compassion would make a difference to someone.”

Danny passed a nursing home. “Maybe.”

“Will it,” said Doubt, “make you feel even worse when they die?”

Danny nodded his head in acknowledgement at the thought. “Maybe I should date again. Marry again. That would be a good thought.” He talked quietly out of the side of his mouth. “Better than someone dying.”

“Then, you would just get divorced again. Better not,” said Doubt.

“It’s true,” said Faith, “that things must change to make your marriage work. The Bible has good advice for marriages. Like don’t let the sun go down on your anger.”

“Why do you keep bringing up the Bible?” Danny said.

“Faith comes by hearing,” Faith said, “and hearing by the word of God.” She shrugged. “It’s where I came from.”

Danny did a double take when looking at Doubt. He appeared less muscular and had more wrinkles while child had grown once again.

“I think I’m going crazy again. I’ll be glad to get home and in bed.”

At home, he drank orange juice while fixing supper. The brownies and milk tasted good. He hoped it would put him to sleep.

Faith and Doubt wouldn’t let him sleep.

“Don’t people talk,” said Doubt, “about having sex making you feel good? Maybe even sleep better? Tiffany has been making passes at you at work. You like her looks. I bet she would be willing.”

“Jesus said,” said Faith, “that whoever even thinks about committing adultery has committed adultery already.”

“Isn’t it your fault,” said Danny, “that I have had those thoughts? Are you trying to make me feel guilty?”

“They are not my thoughts,” said Faith as she glared at Doubt. “Do you remember Doubt asking you, ‘Wouldn’t it be fun to be with her?’ I’m trying to stop you.”

“Quit quoting the Bible!” Doubt said to Faith. To Danny, he said, “Jesus was just a man. What’d He ever do for you?”

Danny rubbed his chest. “I can’t stop my thoughts. That you guys are here proves it.”

Doubt grabbed Danny’s arm. “Isn’t it too hard to try? Just give up and kill yourself.”

Danny screamed, “Faith do something.”

Faith stomped on Doubt’s toes. Doubt yelled in pain and let go.

Danny breathed fast in relief. “You’ve grown taller,” said Danny to Faith. “Why didn’t you do more?”

“If you had been feeding me by reading the Bible, I could have knocked him out of the ballpark.”

“So, it’s my fault.”

“What’s true is true.”

“Come on,” said Doubt. “Don’t you want to stop all this hassle? That’s what suicide would do. Let’s go up to the roof of this apartment building.”

Danny nodded and all three found their way to the roof. He peered over the roof’s edge at the street below and sucked in his breath. “It’ll hurt.”

“Yeah, but once you’re dead, you’re dead.”

“When have you,” said Faith, “ever given yourself a chance to know God?”

“Doesn’t matter,” said Doubt. “Haven’t you heard about all those near-death experiences where people feel calm and walk toward the light?”

“Jesus said,” said Faith, “’I know you not. Depart from me.’ If you don’t spend time with Him down here, you aren’t going to like Him in heaven.”

“I don’t know how,” said Danny, “to control my thoughts. How to have faith so God listens.”

“Try listing what God has done for you in the past. Your food, your clothing, your shelter. The time you almost went into a bridge on that icy road. That’s what’ll build your faith.”

Danny sighed. “That’ll be good enough?”

“Read the Bible,” said Faith.

Doubt said, “Will you understand it?”

Danny breathed deeply. “No.”

“That’s what prayer is for,” said Faith.

Danny looked at the street below again, then turned to go back down. “I’m not willing to give up. Anything to keep from going crazy. I’ll try reading and making that list.” At the stairs, he looked back at Doubt and Faith standing side by side. Faith appeared to have grown into a tweenager while Doubt was skinnier. They faded away as he looked at them.

“I still don’t know if I’m crazy,” said Danny before going down the steps. “But at least I have something to go on now.”