Joss paper and jade

The rows of washed-out pink chairs were mostly occupied. The hot humid air filled with traces of incense, burned paper and disinfectant. Ghost Month didn’t make it easier to breathe during the hottest time of the year.

Mary’s eyes scanned the chairs and discovered an empty seat. The carrier straps rubbed against her sweaty skin with every step she took. Passing the rows of coughing and sneezing people, the bundle pressed against her chest started to stir. Her hand patted the back of the carrier. Her steps changed into a slight bouncing movement. The baby calmed down while the burning on her neck intensified.

Reaching the chair, Mary looked down, while the person next to the empty chair looked up. Dark eyes which almost disappeared behind a waterfall of tanned wrinkles stared up at her. A tentative smile appeared on Mary’s lips. It wasn’t reciprocated. The younger woman hesitated. A quick glance around didn’t show her any other options.

“If it’s ok, I’ll sit here.”

The wrinkles made it difficult to gauge the woman’s expression. There was no answer. Mary waited a few moments trying not to stare at the woman clothed in black from head to toe.

Eventually, Mary arranged herself carefully on the edge of the chair. It was a movement she had performed so often the last few months, yet she still feared toppling over. Always seeing her body crush her daughter’s.

A loud ring made Mary flinch. Immediately, the bundle at her chest started to squirm and a whine made people look around. Mary avoided the stares. With sweaty fingers she unbuckled some of the straps. Jade clacked against plastic. Soothing noises escaped her mouth while she continued to stroke the back.

“Everything will be all right. Papa’s getting the number. We’ll see a doctor soon. Everything will be all right.”

She repeated the last sentence like a mantra, almost sounding like her mother-in-law during prayer time. A gust of air brought over another waft of the offering burnt on the roadside. Mary held her breath, while the baby started to cough. Tiny black eyes opened. Mary tried to catch a glimpse of the feverish gleam. But they closed again too soon, squeezing out tears. Quickly, more straps were unbuckled. The jade bangle was still in the way. With a loud cry the four-month-old announced to the other patients of the polyclinic that it didn’t feel well.

Mary hummed a song she remembered from her childhood while awkwardly rocking her crying daughter. The focus should have been only on the sick child, but Mary’s gaze wandered to the wrinkled lady next to her. The broad fingers with deep calluses tapped along Mary’s atonal melody. Slowly, the baby calmed down, and the old lady looked up. The wrinkles around her mouth deepened.

“Ah, there you are. Did she get fussy again?”

Mary snapped around, looking up at her husband returning from the registration desk.

“She’s not awake. But … is there no seat inside?”

“It’s packed. But I explained everything. They said they would try their best. I … Ah, shit!”

The vibration of the phone made Mary tense. Immediately, her daughter started to squirm again. The humming started anew. The rhythmic tapping joined just a few beats later. Slowly, the child’s breathing quieted and there was only a soft wheezing.

“Thank you. It’s …”

“Sorry, dear. I need to leave now. Your number is 286.”

Mary turned away from the old lady to face her husband. He handed her the tiny slip of paper with the number. Mary frowned and shrugged. The sharp movement made a sheepish expression appear on her husband’s face.

“Hm … I put it in your wallet, okay?”

While he was busy with her bag, Mary suppressed a sigh. Her daughter felt heavier than usual.

“Can’t you stay? At least until they call us in?”

“I’m sorry. But they called the third time already.”

“You know they can handle it without you.”

“This isn’t Europe, Mary.”

Mary flinched at his tone. She looked at the sleeping baby. Her gaze turned hard, when she replied.

“I know. Then go. Make sure that they can rely on you.”

“Mary.”

“What? Go! I have the number. 286. We’ll be fine without you.”

Before he could counter, his phone started to vibrate. Quickly, he bent down to kiss his daughter’s hot forehead. Mary avoided his lips. His sigh lingered after he was already gone.

Something wet dripped on her daughter’s onesie. Mary sniffed and tried to wipe her own chin with her shoulders. The baby stirred again. This time to cough. The tiny frame shook uncontrollably. Red cheeks turned even darker. Tears mixed with sweat.

“寶貝唔好喊“

A wrinkly hand patted the small back. A green bangle slid up and down, adding an additional small pat. A white hand took turns with a tanned. The coughing slowly subsided. Even the wheezing wasn’t as strong as before.

“Thank you.”

The old lady nodded and pointed at Mary’s bangle. The younger woman looked at her arm.

“Oh. My husband gave it to me. It’s from my mother-in-law.”

The woman blinked. Mary ran her tongue over her lips.

“婆婆的“

Mary shook her arm slightly, not to wake the sleeping baby. The bangle rotated around her wrist. Dark eyes lit up.

“谢谢“

With a nod towards her resting child, Mary smiled again. This time it was met with a response.

“保持堅強. 女人係強壯嘅.”

Mary tried to make out any of the words. The sounds flowed almost melodically, like a song. The Chinese opera performance near their HDB a few nights ago bubbled up in her mind.

Feeling at a loss, she made a motion for the older woman to get a better look at her daughter. The dark eyes focused on the sleeping child. The wrinkly hand reached out as if to touch. Mary tilted her daughter further, surprising herself with the gesture. But the hand never touched the baby. Instead, Mary saw tears running down the woman’s cheeks.

“安全啲，我嘅寶貝”

“286 – Room 8”

Mary’s head snapped up. The screen confirmed the announcement. As quickly as possible, she buckled up her daughter in the carrier. With a push she managed to get on her feet. The number was blinking with silent urgency.

“Thank you for …”

Mary blinked - then bowed towards the empty chair.

A waft of burning joss paper and incense followed her to the examination room.