A New Life Awaits

I still can't believe that it's been six months since I received the email that would change my life forever. I was chosen to be one of 50,000 world citizens out of an application pool of over seventy million to board the first commercial relocation shuttle to Mars. After years of preparatory missions, the International Space Organization, or ISO, has completed humankind's first residential space colony. While many of the early settlers of the colony were engineers, biologists, and physicists, the lottery was open to any citizen who was willing to contribute to the new society. The ISO claims that the colony was built to be completely automated and self-sufficient, which will allow its new inhabitants to live in abundance. This is good news for me as a 32-year old accountant who can barely even hang a picture frame on the wall. Everyone I know entered the lottery to join the colony's inaugural members and somehow, my name was among one of the lucky few.

I stare up at the massive space ship, or rather "space cruise" as the ISO calls it, as I walk up the ramp towards the boarding gate. The operator pricks my finger, and after a brief loading indicator, my face appears on the security screen confirming my identity and eligibility to enter the ship. I quickly move beyond the security checkpoints and administrative offices to find myself surrounded by high-end stores and restaurants, attractions of all kinds, and hundreds of LED screens. The trip to the red planet is set to take just about nine months and it is good to know that the ISO representatives were not joking when they promised there would be enough to keep us entertained.

I momentarily pull my eyes away from my surroundings to send a quick text to my girlfriend saying "Just cleared boarding, can you believe this place? We should be departing the planet (yes the planet?!) in a little over an hour from right now. Lmk where you want to meet up"

Daisy arrived aboard the ship a few hours ahead of me to explore while I finalized all of the remaining logistics for us both here on Earth. I told her that we would have plenty of time to find out all that our home for the next nine months has to offer during our journey, but she was too excited and knowing her, she likely wanted to skip out on the boring paperwork we had to complete before we left. I met Daisy almost three years ago in a parking lot when she accidentally backed into my parked car. Any anger that I had immediately vanished when I saw her get out of the car with her flawless smile. I offered to exchange insurance information, but she got so nervous that I could tell she either didn't have insurance or this was not her first accident. I forgot about the insurance. I forgot about my car. And for maybe the first time in my entire life, I took a risk, gave her my phone number, and asked her out. We have been together ever since.

In case it is not yet blatantly obvious, I have always been the type of person to take the safe path throughout life. I became an accountant because it was the secure decision that would pay the bills. I have always had a long-term plan that I have followed without straying off course. Daisy, on the other hand, is the most adventurous person I have ever known and she treats each and every day as a new journey. I planned our first date which started as one simple round of drinks and somehow ended with late night karaoke. She took me sky diving on our third date against my will and I hate to admit how much fun I had. She has challenged me to step out of my comfort zone at every turn of our relationship and it has made me more happy as a person. In fact, it was Daisy who convinced me to sign up for the Mars colony lottery and we agreed that we would bring each other if one of us won. Before I met her, I wouldn't have imagined traveling on a flight longer than a few hours let alone a one way trip across the galaxy, but every seemingly outrageous decision makes perfect sense when I am with her.

As I wait for Daisy to text me back, I start making my way towards our seats and take in my surroundings. There is a buzz of energy in the air that is hard to describe. Everyone around me is likely feeling the same mixture of excitement and nervousness that I am. It creates this unspoken bond between us as the first official citizens of Mars and I feel a sense of belonging that I don't think I have ever felt before. After what seems like miles of wandering on this behemoth of a ship, I arrive at the seating area and flash our tickets to the attendant, who kindly directs me down the middle aisle and to the left. I find that I am the first one to our seats.

Seated and strapped into my chair, I pull out my phone to check on any updates from Daisy. I saw at least ten different attractions and booths that could have caught her eye and held her up on her way to meet me. My phone has no notifications, which is surprising until I realize that I am in an interplanetary steel box designed to block radiation, and therefore, can surely block basic cellular service. The good news is that I saw about a million sponsored advertisements for the ship's internal WiFi ("brought to you by Z-Mobile"), which is free and available before take-off.

After a brief thirty second video, I am connected to the world's internet for what might be one of my last times ever. My phone immediately buzzes as it catches up from the past hour of unintentional airplane mode and my eyes are drawn to the eleven missed calls from Daisy. Almost on cue, the twelfth call comes in and I pick up as quickly as I can.

"What, did you get lost walking through the waterpark or one of the five movie theaters?" I ask mockingly.

"Ted, I have been trying to call you" she said. Her voice had a subtle shake to it as if she had only just gathered her breath to speak.

I softly respond "I didn't have service, Daisy, what's going on?"

"Ted…I can't do it" she mutters into the phone.

"What are you talking about? What can't you do? Just tell me where I can meet you, we need to be in our seats for take-off, I can come find you. Whatever it is, we can figure it out together." I say trying to soothe her.

"I'm not on the ship, Ted. I can't do it. I'm not going to Mars. I can't" she declares through a series of deep breaths.

"Is this a prank, what do you mean? Daisy, I don't understand. I am on the ship. I am in our seats waiting for you. Any minute now, this thing is supposed to take us away from this planet for the indefinite future. Talk to me. Please." I plead.

"I am so sorry. I just can't do it. I went to see my dad to tell him I was leaving and that I likely wouldn't see him again. I wanted to look him in the eyes as I told him off one last time and to finally get some closure. I started the conversation with so much anger for all of the pain I have been holding onto but when I said I was leaving for Mars, he broke down. I have never seen him cry in my entire life, Ted. He begged me to stay. He apologized for everything and I could tell he was actually sincere. I couldn't believe it, but by the end of it, I was in tears and hugging him as tight as I could." she recalled.

"Daisy, I…I am happy you reconnected with your dad, I am, but I am on the ship. This was your idea. You have been talking about this trip since the moment it was advertised. A chance to restart our lives together and be part of a new history. You silenced every ounce of fear and anxiety I had because I thought I would have you here with me. You are the only person I have in my life. I can't do this alone."

"You're right. I have been trying to call you; every call went straight to voicemail. I owe you more time, more notice. I owe you more than this. I am sorry, but I am not on the ship and I won't ever be on the ship. I think…I think that I have been running my entire life. That spontaneity that you admire so much has been nothing but masked fear and the avoidance of confronting my past with him. I thought that if I kept moving further and further away, I would never have to look at the relationship head on. After today, I can't run away again and I just can't leave him. I hope that you can understand and I hope that you will be able to forgive me one day. I love you and I will always love you."

"I love you, too" I say as more of a reflex than a thoughtful response. I hear the call drop on her end and wipe the tears from my cheek. I am in shock and the world outside is moving slowly past me. It takes a few moments for my brain to recalibrate and realize that the world is still and it's the ship that has started moving. I unclip my seat belt and stumble past the empty seat to my right into the aisle and back towards the exit sign. I make it about fifteen feet before a crewmate stops me.

"I need to get off the ship."

"I am sorry, sir, but that is not possible. The air lock is sealed and this ship is going to lift off any minute now. You have to return to your seat immediately."

"You don't understand. I have to get off this ship. I am all alone and I can't go to Mars."

"Sir, you agreed to this the moment you scanned your ticket and boarded the ship. There is nothing we can do at this point. You need to take your seat or you will be forced to do so."

I shuffle back and drop aimlessly into my assigned chair. My final conversation with Daisy plays on repeat in my head. I step through every word she had spoken and search for answers to the millions of questions I wish I had asked. My heart aches and panic consumes my entire body as the reality that I am on a spaceship slated to take me away from everything I have ever known sets in. For three years, Daisy has been my guiding force, my confidant, my best friend; but she has now sentenced me to an unknown future and I feel as though I am drowning. As I struggle to slow my pulse and recapture any sliver of the excitement I had just thirty minutes ago, the ground rumbles beneath me and the ship's captain proudly announces: "Welcome aboard space travellers, your new life awaits you!"