Sunscreen

Tumbling waves collided with the sand, the aftermath bubbled and spritzed as the water subsided, as though the ocean was taking a deep breath. It exhaled more forcefully this time; waves splashed on rock. Bells tolled in the distance as the buoy tower rolled gently on the infinite changing tide. The rhythmic song of the beach always calmed me.

Gulls cawed at each other as they spotted their next victim, a chubby man perfumed with tomato sauce and hot chips speckled in chicken salt. He was the type of man who once was blessed with a muscular body and flawless skin. Now time had eroded those features, leaving a grumpy hunched over character swearing at the birds as they swooped in on his treat. A toddler watched the spectacle from the protective arms of her mother, a wavy-haired goddess whose skin soaked up the light around her, paling everything else into a dullness by comparison. The sun beamed constantly, bringing familiar warmth like a warm hug. I closed my eyes, mimicking the waves, breathing in deep and exhaling. The energy of the earth and sun revitalising me.

"Excuse me…" A deep voice woke me from my meditation. A pair of legs were moving as a towel was being set up near me. Sweeping up to find the source of his voice, I saw a silhouette of a tall man, the sun obscuring my vision. "Uh hi, sorry to bother you, I was wondering if you could give me a hand?" A dark rectangle was near my face; a distinct smell of coconut and SPF swept me back to a memory of my family picnic on the beach. Mum lathered on Reef coconut tanning oil to bake in the sun, whilst I was plastered with thick gloopy SPF — it clung to the skin so strong it was like spreading clay. Our packed sandwiches were instantly crunchy with sand carried on the ocean breeze.

"Erm… hello?" Snapping me back to the present, he was now crouched next to me. "Do you mind?" Handing me the rectangle again. His eyes a mix of honeycomb and coffee, the wind swept his luscious hair across his face, framing it like a picture. My swallow echoed in the space between us. I accepted his offering with a simple "mmhmm," the light bouncing off his teeth like a disco ball.

"Thanks, I appreciate it, nothing worse than a sunburnt back." Lying face down on his towel, he extended his arm back to me. "John."

"Lex," I replied, semi stunned.

"As in Luthor?" he mused with a slight chuckle.

"As in Alexander," I offered with a smile.

"Ah, Alexander the great." He settled back onto the towel. Alexander the great had a nice ring to it, but it wasn't an accurate description for me.

I uncapped the bottle and squeezed a decent amount into my hands. As I approached his back I saw every ripple, every wave of muscle. He worked out. As I applied it to his back, I couldn't stop readjusting the pressure — was it too soft, too hard, my touch lingering too long?

"It's ok, you can add a little more pressure," he said, sensing my hesitation. "So, what brings you to the beach alone?" Words rolled off his tongue with ease.

"I…. I like to come down and listen to the waves. I kind of…. meditate to the ebb and flow of energy… not that I'm a hippie or anything." Words tripped out of my mouth, tumbling one over the other in their hurdle race.

"Nah I respect that; a calm mind is a clean mind." He lowered his board shorts slightly, revealing skin shy of sunlight. My saliva was thick, my breathing uneven. There was nothing clean in my mind right now.

"So… what brings you to the beach alone?" I expelled faster than anticipated. John flinched beneath my fingers.

"Catching some rays and here to soak up the views." He looked back at me with a crooked smile. "You can go lower by the way."

Gulping air, I looked at his back and the lack of sheen on his lower spine, clearly avoiding the delicate closeness. I slowly made my way down, trying not to go too far. As my hands grazed his lower back, I felt a tension point — a knot in his muscle. I added a little more pressure. I felt his body move in response.

"Do you get pain in your lower back?" He lifted himself slightly and turned to look at me.

"Why…" His face was difficult to read.

"I noticed your muscles are tense with a knot, I can help relieve it if you want?"

His face shifted quickly from questioning to flirting. "By all means, Lex, relieve me…" He chuckled and laid back down. My choice of words always got me into trouble. Even though his comment warmed my flesh, I drew my focus to his muscles. I moved over it in wide waves to start; as I felt how far the knots ran, I slowly narrowed my focus and increased pressure. He let out a soft moan and I paused.

"No no, don't stop, you're just almost there."

"So do you live around here?" Sounding more juvenile than intrigued.

"You could say that." He looked up to the parking lot and pointed. "See that house with the floor to ceiling glass?"

As he turned back to me, I tried to lift my jaw off the sand.

"Calm your farm Alexander," he crooned. "See the teal combi in front of it? That's my gal, my home away from home." The teal realisation that he was an implant, a temporary stay. "That bad ay?" He chuckled to himself.

"Oh, not at all, I was more thinking… never mind." Can't tell a stranger I was sad he wasn't a local.

"How 'bout you Lex, where do you call home?" He flipped over and leaned back onto his elbows, showcasing his torso in full glory. My eyes travelled down the line of him, a perfectly chiselled form now glistening in the sunlight.

"Like what you see?" I snapped them back to his face.

"It's ok, I don't mind. I wouldn't work out if I didn't want someone to notice." He flashed his canines with a boasting smile.

"I live about 20 minutes away, just up by The Ridge." Ignoring was better than engaging.

"20 mins walking or by car?" His tone teased.

"Walking. I try to walk everywhere if I can." Yea, cause I daydream too much and might drive into a pole.

"So a true local then. Hitting the tar daily, engraving your mark on this place day by day." He drew lines in the sand, softly, slowly. His eyes met mine. I was caught in his trapping gaze.

THUNK. The world spun for a moment, my ears rang. A soft hand on the side of my face. I opened my eyes — I felt his warmth before I registered his face.

"You ok?" His eyes searched my expression as I winced.

"Yea, just a little dazed."

He let out a little chuckle as he tossed the ball back to the volleyball game behind him. "He's ok, lucky his melon is strong," he called back to them before his gaze returned to me. "So back to you telling me you want to show me around…" He winked at me and nudged me with his leg.

"Like now?..." I hadn't planned on anything so close to visiting mum. I meant to spend a couple of hours at the beach, go home and shower, then hit the hospital.

"Well I don't see why we shouldn't take advantage of such a nice day. Beautiful weather for a walk, and dare I push my luck, a coffee?" His confidence was hard to resist.

"I have an—" BLEEP BLEEP. Mum's ID showing up. "I have to get this." I snatched up the phone. "Hello? You ok?"

I could hear her crying on the other end. "Is everything alright?" Her breathing sounded laboured. "Honey… I'm not doing so well… I don't know how much longer I can do th—" The phone cut out.

"Shit!" My battery had drained.

"I'm sorry, I have to go." I began frantically packing up my things.

"Is everything ok, can I help?" He switched from flirty to serious effortlessly — something you can't fake. He was being genuine.

"This is… something I've gotta take care of alone, but… thank you." I stood up to leave.

"Wait, don't leave yet! Give me a sec, I'll be right back." He jumped up and ran toward the kiosk.

I could hear the thrumming of my blood pulsing through my veins, my hands knotted at my bag strap. I knew it had only been a minute, but time was stretching out. Mum needed me.

He came running back with something in his hand. "I just needed to give you this." He grabbed my hand and placed a napkin in it. "You know, in case you wanted to take that walk and grab a coffee." Call me anytime inscribed with his phone number, followed by John and a smiley face. I folded it and placed it in the back pocket of my jeans as I ran off. I realised I'd said nothing and turned back.

"I will!" I kept running, then turned again. "Call you, I mean!!"

I saw a brief smile and chuckle before his face was but a memory.

I plugged my phone in, turned on the shower, and shook my jeans of sand as I undressed — sunscreen making the best adhesive for every grain. The water was hot. I always liked it blisteringly hot, so it soaked to my bones. Nothing felt cleaner than hot water. As I washed the sunscreen away, my thoughts drifted to John — his warm eyes, the shape of his soft looking lips, the slightly vampiric look of his canines, and his chiselled physique that Michelangelo would have been proud to carve into marble.

As I towelled off, I remembered the napkin. I searched my jean pocket where I had left it. There was nothing there. I searched all the pockets — still nothing. I got down on all fours looking under my sink, thinking it may have fallen there after I shook everything.

"Damn it!" I hit my palm to the tiled floor harder than anticipated. The shock reverberated in my wrist. Just my luck, a guy drops into my life as quickly as he leaves. Had I dreamt it all up on the beach? Did any of that really happen?

My phone pinged. Mum's messages started coming through — "honey, where are you?" and then just question marks and the "are you okay?" she'd always drop in when I hadn't replied immediately.

"I'm on my way." I hit send and threw on my clothes, already laid out for the hospital.

"You seem distant today," she said as I sat silently sponging off her skin. She wasn't well enough to shower, and I knew how much she'd hate to ferment here in her bed.

"Sorry, I got given something today and I keep trying to think of where I left it." She gave me a knowing look.

"Who is he?"

I shouldn't be surprised — I was a glass house and mum was peering in. "Someone I met today at the beach." Her eyes widened a little. "Don't worry, I wore sunscreen, and it wasn't that long."

She gave me a pained smile as she looked down at her skin. "If I knew back then what I knew now, I'd never have baked myself stupid with that damn oil."

She grabbed my wrist with urgency — a motion I now came to recognise as "grab the bucket." She tried to fight the sick coming up, out of embarrassment. I stroked her back gently; I knew it helped because I felt her relax into it between heaves. The doctor approached, a sympathetic look on his face, but he'd seen it too many times to be surprised. I saw him motion for a nurse to come over. "Now Mary, Dr Anders needs to speak with Alexander, do you mind if I step in?" She shook her head and lightened her grip on my wrist.

"She's going through the worst of it today. It's not going to be easy, but if she responds to treatment, it will be all worth it." That word snuck in the middle — "if." "You should go have a break, we're going to finish the session and patch her up, we'll be finished by the time you return."

I looked back at mum and she gestured gently for me to go, a pained smile on her face — she was comforted knowing I was in the same building as her.

The vending machine hummed in the sterile corridor, the lighting casting a strange blued white on everything, a complete opposite feeling to the sun. The machine whirred to life after I inserted $10 and pressed "Cappuccino." It vibrated violently for a moment and stopped. I pressed the buttons again — nothing. I tapped the side. It stared at me in a mocking silence. I slammed my fist into the front, I kicked the side.

"USELESS GARBAGE."

I stared at it, drawing in deep breaths, when a familiar scent tickled my nose — coconut and SPF.

"Need a hand with that?" I turned around. Honeycomb and coffee eyes.

"John?" He looked at me in surprise. He was on crutches, flannelette shirt unbuttoned to the chest, one jeans leg cut away for a fresh cast.

"Lex… what are you doing here?" He looked slightly defeated — not a look I'd expect from him.

"I'm here for my mum. What happened to you in the last few hours?"

He looked down at his leg. "I wish I had a cool story to impress you… when you left I didn't stay much longer, it didn't feel fun anymore." His eyes returned to mine, hurt behind them. "So I was heading back to the combi. I saw the napkin I gave you on the ground, and it kinda stung to be honest…" My gut twisted. "I leaned down to pick it up and was almost taken out by someone rollerblading — I know, how retro of them." He took in a deep breath. "Annnd this is the embarrassing part. I jumped out of the way and thought I was turning to walk along the path, but instead I walked off the path and fell into the lagoon." A small chuckle, but I could tell he felt awkward.

"About the napkin…" I started to say. He waved his hand.

"It's not a problem. I was pushy, I should have read the room better."

I don't know what came over me, but I grabbed his hand and stopped him. "No, it's not like that at all." I held his hand gently. I stepped forward and put it to my chest. The same thrumming from the beach now echoed into his flesh. I felt his touch relax into me.

"I must have dropped it when I rushed off. I thought I folded it and placed it in my pocket. When I was out of the shower, I went to enter it into my phone but I couldn't find it anywhere." His hand remained. "I didn't think I was going to see you again… I wanted to race back to try and catch you at your combi, but mum needed me. She's having chemo, and it's really rough. I spend most of my days here, and I just felt — just this once — a little resentment. For the first time I had someone interested in me, and I had to come here again, watching her slowly wither away for something that might not even work…" I fought back tears as my face flushed.

Finally his expression changed — a deep frown, like he didn't want to hear it. And then he grabbed me, pulled me into his chest, and held me, rocking gently side to side. I heard his crutches fall.

"Ignore them," he rumbled deeply through his chest.

I was completely enveloped in his scent — the mix of coconut and SPF, and now something completely him. I slowly relaxed into him. Too many years of pain rolled out into a whole-body sob as I let go.

"It's ok, let it out," he said, caressing my back.

I don't know how long we stood there. When I finally surfaced, his shirt was wet and I was too spent to care. His hands moved to my shoulders and he looked into my eyes.

"You okay?"

I took a deep breath. "Yea… that was… that was something." I laughed and he smiled gently.

"It was needed. I've been there, and I'm glad I was able to 'relieve' you like you relieved me at the beach." The flirt returning to his tone. "Now, about that coffee." He hobbled to the vending machine. "I find that the right gentle touch" He tapped the top of the machine as it whirred back to life. "Gets the best response." He winked at me with a smugness of satisfaction.

Two incredibly mediocre coffees were produced right as the doctor arrived. "Alexander, she's ready for you." And he walked away.

"Wait, don't leave yet! Give me a sec, I'll be right back." I ran to the nurses station. "Can I borrow this?" I grabbed a red marker and rushed back to John as he stared at me, puzzled.

"I have a feeling you'll be more careful with this than I was with yours." I inscribed my number and signed it "Alexander the great."