THE GATHERING

Weddings, like happiness, mean different things to different people. The bride’s mother, Elaine, was checking that the seating plan was readily accessible, having just confirmed that the cake was ready for delivery, before heading to the final dress fitting. Crossing off another of her priorities on her list, before leaving, she made her way across the hall to where her husband, Brian, was busy checking the sound system with the DJ, to see how Brian’s preparations were going.

Brian left the DJ and walked across to Elaine, smiling. ”Hello Love. Are you winning?” he asked. Elaine started to reply, but stopped mid-sentence. He could immediately see, from the expression on her face, that something was troubling her. “Is there anything I can help with?” he asked, laying his hand gently on her forearm, anticipating a continuation of their earlier discussion regarding her reservations about the wedding.

Elaine shook her head and said, “No. I’m sure it will be fine. We’re just off to fit Sue’s dress. Will you, please, check that Gary got Megan and Pat to the hotel?” He smiled and hugged her briefly to reassure her. ”That’s sorted. The flight was a little early and the traffic was fine, so that’s one less worry for us. I’ll see you at home, later. We’re almost done here.” She managed a smile as she turned to leave, and headed to the carpark.

Planning a gathering of scatterlings had not been plain sailing, so Gary was relieved when Bruce, his lifelong friend, and best man, had arrived earlier that week from Australia. Although they had not seen each other for two years, nothing had changed. Bruce was as solid and dependable as he had always been, and Gary was happy to see his old “wingman” again.

The logistical problems were of less concern for Bruce than some of the family dynamics. Part of a best man’s duties include a toast to absent friends, something he was dreading. He had very little time to make a final decision and wasn’t sure who, if anyone, he could discuss it with. The minister came to mind.

Gary was happy to see that the flight from London was landing a little earlier than expected. The airport was chaotic, as usual, but his mother and sister cleared immigration with no hiccups and the trip through the Johannesburg traffic to their hotel was equally uneventful. Gary hoped that the positive start to the reunion would continue. Their planned lunch would give them time to catch up on recent events.

The minister’s office was fairly small, but the large windows facing out onto a garden area let in plenty of sunlight, to brighten the room. Waiting for the minister, Bruce looked at the family photograph on the filing cabinet in the corner, assuming it was of the minister, with his wife and children. Just then a man, in obvious clerical attire, came into the office, smiling, and offered his hand to Bruce. He introduced himself as Michael, and asked Bruce to take a seat.

“When we spoke on the ‘phone earlier, Bruce, you mentioned that you would like some advice on Susan and Gary’s wedding on Saturday. How can I help?” “Could you please give me a bit of background on your history with the family, so that I know where to start? I know that Gary wasn’t particularly religious, so I’m assuming that Sue’s family are part of your congregation?”

Michael smiled and said, “Yes, the whole family have been with us since before I arrived five years ago, so I know them quite well. Sue’s parents are regulars and Sue less so. What would you like to know?”

Bruce got the impression that Michael was genuinely interested, and not just going through the motions, which was a relief.” I’m not sure how much you know about Gary’s history, but that’s why I’m here. We grew up in Rhodesia. Gary was farming there when his first wife and baby daughter were murdered on the farm. After that, he drank heavily for years. We nearly lost him, but he got support and counselling and moved to South Africa a short while later. I’ve kept in touch with him from Australia, and he seems fine, but I’m not certain. Sorry. It’s a rather long winded way to get to the point.

Michael smiled again and said,” Please don’t worry about that. I had heard bits and pieces, but your explanation has helped me to get a better perspective on something that has been brewing with Sue’s mother, Elaine, for a while now. Finish what you want to say and then I’ll update you from my side.”

Bruce felt a weight lifting from his shoulders and continued,” My problem is that part of my speech at the reception is to toast absent friends. My main concern is how to include Gary’s first wife and child, or whether to avoid mentioning them at all. I haven’t discussed it with Gary because it might open up old wounds, but not mentioning them at all might also be a problem. I was hoping that you might have encountered something like this before and could give me some input.”

Michael was silent for a while, as if weighing up his own options, before saying,” I mentioned Sue’s mother earlier. Elaine worries about the age gap. And Sue wants children, though no one’s sure where Gary stands on that.”

I don’t know Gary very well, so I haven’t discussed any of this with him. Sue’s dad is pretty level headed and he feels that they cannot stand in the way of something that appears to be a solid relationship, which may or may not work out ultimately. I have prayed about it, but I’m afraid that no one can guarantee any outcomes here. It’s a first for me as well, so I can’t give you any pearls of wisdom, I’m afraid. I’ve promised to speak to Elaine again and you will need to decide on your speech. You know Gary better than most of us and the brief encounters I’ve had with him, I have no reason to doubt his total commitment to Sue.

Lunch at the hotel restaurant had involved a bottle of red wine for the ladies and a couple of beers for Gary, so communication was better than Gary had anticipated. His mother’s raised eyebrow when he ordered his second beer spoke volumes. Mothers will be mothers, he thought, remembering the dark days when he drank to drown his sorrows, before the family intervention.

Neil, his stepfather, was the elephant in the room, and Gary had decided that he needed to clear the air with his mother. “I’m sorry to bring this up, Mom, but we should discuss Neil not being here. I know we’ve had our differences, but I thought that, after so many years, we had buried the hatchet. I know I blamed him for leaving when the rest of us stayed, but we’ve discussed that and I admitted that I was wrong and apologised. Obviously he still has an axe to grind and you are piggy in the middle, so I think it’s better not to toast absent friends at all.

I’m sorry it’s turned out this way but I wanted you to know I’m over Neil’s history. This is probably the last opportunity for us to chat before the ceremony, and I wanted you to know what I thought. I’m running a little late, so I have to run. Let me know if you need anything. ”

The morning of the wedding started well, with clear sunny weather. The caterers had confirmed that everything was in hand, and a huddle with the team drivers ensured that no one requiring transport had been overlooked. The ladies were doing whatever the ladies do, regarding hairdressers and bridesmaids and, most importantly, the bride’s outfit and bouquet.

Gary, Bruce and Brian did the last checks on the bar, music and decorations before leaving.

The wedding ceremony started on time and Michael, the minister, managed to make the traditional welcome, opening prayers and scripture readings more than simply a ritual. Elaine, the bride’s mother, was also visibly moved by the exchange of vows, which helped to partially allay some of her concerns. A small group of pre-teens became quite excited, and vocal, during the throwing of the rice, and had to be calmed down, but Gary and Sue ultimately left for the photo shoot in their vehicle of choice, an open top Model T Ford, while the guests headed to the reception and a cold drink from the bar.

There had been the usual discussion about the seating plan. Should the bride and groom’s friends and family be split, or should everyone be thrown together, regardless? It was eventually agreed that people who knew each other, but hadn’t seen each other for some time, should be together to catch up, but with no rigid plan, otherwise.

At the bar, Ian and Sean were getting drinks for their table. “So how long have you been in Milan?” Sean asked Ian.” My second year now.” “How did you end up there?” “You know the story. You go where the work is” “True. Have you got your drinks?” Sean nodded, so they headed back to the table, trying not to spill any drinks on the way.

At the table, the ladies were chatting up a storm, hardly noticing that the two had returned. “Tell me about Berkshire,” Ian said. “It’s actually quite a good area, not too far from London, if you have the money to go there. Like anywhere, some parts are better than others. Reading’s fairly close and has lots to see. The job’s pleasant enough. There are quite a few South African techies there, so that’s a bonus. Speaking of which, I was hoping to see Robert here, but apparently he was in Zim and Australia last year, so he couldn’t make it. He says Vancouver Island is great, if you like colder weather. He was never in favour of UDI and wasn’t particularly popular. It’s ironic that we all thought we were fighting for Queen and country and he was a bit of a lefty, who wasn’t convinced. No one really escaped unscathed, though. His sister was on the first Viscount that went down. That gave him something to think about.

Just then the music was muted and the MC, Sue’s uncle John, announced the arrival of the bride and groom. ”Ladies and gentlemen, let us all welcome, for the first time, Mr and Mrs Gary Cooper.” Sue and Gary came in, beaming from ear to ear, headed to their table, and sat down, at which point Uncle John said,” Take a load off folks. It’s time to let our hair down and enjoy ourselves. We’ll torture Gary just now when we announce the first dance. Until then, relax and enjoy.”

Gary and Sue had decided that the first dance would not be a waltz and arranged with the DJ to play a specific number that they were both happy with. The guests all whistled and clapped when they heard the start of Twist and Shout by the Beatles, and were foot tapping all the way through. The look of relief on Gary’s face was palpable as the number ended and they sat down again.

A short while later Uncle John announced the start of the speeches, calling on Brian, the father of the bride, to speak. “Hello everyone. To those of you who don’t know me, my name is Brian. It’s an absolute pleasure to welcome you all here today, especially those of you who have travelled from as far afield as Australia, England and Italy. To Gary’s Mother, Megan, and sister, Pat, who have also joined us from foreign shores, thank you for being here and for sharing Gary with us. A special thank you to Bruce, for making the great trek from Perth, and to all the locals, an equally warm welcome.

Elaine and I can’t believe that this day has arrived so quickly. We blinked and our beautiful baby’s transition from chubby chrysalis to beautiful butterfly, was over in a flash. She has always known what she wants from life and not been hesitant to speak her mind. We are so proud of who she has become and what she has already achieved. She is not impulsive and weighs her decisions carefully, one of the most important being her choice of Gary as her life partner. It took me a while to assess Gary, because he doesn’t fall into any standard mould and can be difficult to read at times. Let us say that he is an acquired taste, but one that grows on those who understand him, as evidenced by his friends who have travelled so far to celebrate with him. We are happy to welcome you into our lives and hearts, Gary. Welcome to our world. We love you both.

Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in a toast to the bride and groom.”

Uncle John, with his glass still in his hand, then invited everyone to the buffet. ”Time to eat, folks. There are two queues, one from either side. No elbowing please!”

In the buffet queue, Sean and Ian continued their recollection of their circle of school friends. “Which of the old gang have you kept in touch with?” Ian asked. “Well there are a couple of my old rock climbing buddies, Dave and Alan, and Bruce over there. Dave surprised me, in that he never did national service, although I wrote it down to his varsity studies outside the country. Most of the brains trust guys studied overseas. Karl went back to Holland, and Robert and Dave to the UK. Some of the guys thought they were doing a runner, but I’m not so sure. Maybe they were just a little luckier than the rest of us. No one was holding a gun to our heads, forcing us to stay as long as we did.

With the dinner effectively over, Uncle John asked the DJ to pause the background music in order to move the proceedings along. ” Ladies and gentlemen, please don’t get too comfortable. Bruce is going chat to us now, and then it’s time to hit the dance floor and strut your stuff. Bruce, over to you.”

“Thank you Uncle John. Good evening everybody. As you just heard, my name is Bruce. I’m Gary’s partner in crime, so to speak, since our schooldays. I‘m going to embarrass him shortly, but first, let me start by thanking Sue’s parents for their hospitality and hard work in putting together this wonderful occasion, to Gary’s mother and sister for being with us all the way from England and to Gary and Sue, our reason for being here on this happy day.

What can I, and can’t I, tell you about Gary? Well, let’s see. I can’t tell you about him streaking through the sports club after a cricket match, and I can’t tell you about him burning his neighbour’s fence down while trying to get rid of the leaves he was supposed to be raking. I also can’t tell you about him reversing into the lake with the boat trailer, boat and car. There are lots of other things that I can’t tell you about, but what I can tell you is that Gary is one of the most reliable people I have ever met. He has always been the first to help in a crisis, at any time of the day or night. He also saved my life during an army contact, something for which I will be eternally grateful. He is my hero and my best friend and I am so happy that Sue could see that too. He, also, is so lucky to have found someone who has supported him in so many ways and accepted him, warts and all, through thick and thin. It was fate, my mate. Also, remember that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes. Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses in a toast to the bride and groom.”

Uncle John took the mic from Bruce and said, “On that happy note, Mr DJ, let’s get going. The dance floor is now open folks, as is the bar. Enjoy yourselves”.

Coming back from the restroom, Gary saw his mother and Elaine in animated conversation at the bridal table and was happy to see the positive body language between them. They were even laughing. Sue saw him coming and broke into a broad smile. He had a lump in his throat as he gave her a hug and pulled her onto the dance floor.