Fatal Biodata

Barbie adds a warm tone to her words as she starts to read a set of terms and conditions on the transfer of biodata. UserJQ126571 wonders why she bothers. He supposes she is programmed to behave that way when the content is particularly dry, or important, and may not hold his attention. This is why humans no longer read anything themselves. Their attention span is so short, the mind wanders after only a couple of words. But UserJQ126571 must listen now. His life, and, more importantly, his happiness may depend upon it.

UserJQ126571 is well aware it’s too late to become acquainted with the terms of the contract with Bio2677 under their age optimisation program, having signed it three years earlier. Under Galactic sovereign law, all sentient beings have free will unless they enter a contract where they agree to give something up. The lure of the benefits of the age optimisation program was so great, UserJQ126571 decided to make any sacrifices Bio2677 demanded, sight unseen. After all, contracts these days were so tight there were few clauses or amendments he could suggest that would be allowed. Even if they were considered, they would be tied up in checks within the system for years, and he would not be able to optimise his health metrics for the optimal life span, which Bio2677 guarantees. Or, do they?

Now he is about to find out. But first, how did he get here? Like many male humans in their fifties, UserJQ126571 wants to stay fit, healthy and vital well into his nineties. Bio2677 promises to help males achieve this. For females, it is over 100 years of age. From several nanochips in his blood and organs, he relays all his health metrics and genetic details to the Bio2677 data centre. In return, he is sent a daily regimen that includes dietary intake, movement, supplements and treatments, which he has followed without question.

He enjoys movement. Every day he does the required walking, running, stretching and weight and resistance training within his one-metre-by-one-metre, enclosed Bio2677 machine, that also delivers coloured light therapies and serves as a sauna and steam room. Even though he is confined to moving indoors, he still feels his body sweat and the exhilaration of his heart racing. In other words, he feels what it means to be human in a physical body. Not so with what he puts into his mouth. The humanly pleasure of eating has been completely denied him. Consuming nutrition has become a chore. A series of powders with different colours and codes that Barbie lays out before him, designed for maximum organ function and circulation and to resist disease. People who have not subscribed to the age optimisation program still eat human-made food. Before signing three years ago, UserJQ126571 enjoyed fried meat and mashed potato, cups of coffee and the occasional slice of red velvet cake with cream cheese filling.

He was willing to give up real food for the promise of a healthy life into his 90s. He told himself he could focus on the physical pleasure he derived from movement including the 10 minutes of intimacy with Barbie once a week inside the machine as it vibrates. He would like that last activity to be more than weekly, but Bio2677 deems any increase to be too much stress on his heart.

This morning Barbie has already delivered his regimen with a cheery voice. This held no surprises. Then, as usual, she read out his estimated death date.

‘The projected death date for UserJQ126571 is 7 September 2075,’ Barbie says.

‘What?’ he exclaims. ‘Tomorrow?’

‘You are right to be concerned,’ Barbie says. ‘This information does seem inconsistent with previous data that suggested your life would continue for approximately 40 more years. I can confirm that you have followed the age optimisation regimen within 99.95% of its recommendations. The 0.05% refers to one bag of potato chips you consumed on 3 March 2073.’

‘So, what the hell is happening? Sorry for the curse word and anger in my voice.’

‘That is quite all right. It is understandable. Facing your mortality is the gravest circumstance for a human being. Let me request a second calculation.’

There is a pause. UserJQ126571 is convinced the error will be discovered once the data is queried, and all will go back to normal.

Barbie faces UserJQ126571 but remains silent.

‘Okay, now you’re scaring me. What is going on, Barbie?’

‘Bio2677 regrets to inform you that there was a serious malfunction at the start of your contract with them, a system glitch, and the wrong assumptions were made in calculating your death date and regimen. However, this has now been rectified with all the correct data. This is unfortunate, but given the proximity of the death date, Bio2677 sees no justifiable reason to change the recommended regimen.’

‘So, this means they are standing by my death date of tomorrow?’

‘Yes.’

‘And they are not going to try to help me extend the time?’

‘No.’

Barbie’s voice is cold and objective in these last responses. This changes to the warm tone when UserJQ126571 asks her to read the three hours’ worth of terms and conditions of the Bio2677 contract. It is when she is at the very end that he hears the clause he has been waiting for.

‘At any time, a User can cancel this contract via their assigned AI Machine without any recrimination or financial penalty. By doing so, the User takes responsibility for any change to their effective death date given they will no longer have access to Bio2677 property and regimens.'

'Barbie, shut down your senses, so you don’t register what I’m about to say!’

The AI Machine pushes buttons on the side of its face and becomes motionless.

‘What the actual fuck!’ UserJQ126571, also known as Marvin, screams.

For the first time in three years, Marvin feels relief. He has been holding in frustration. He realises he has been letting a corporation tell him how to live his life, and for what? So, he could buy their machine, He suspects they produce the powders he was consuming too.

Well, not anymore. He ‘wakes’ Barbie up again and tells her that since he has effectively been given a death sentence, he would like to ignore the recommendation of the once-weekly intimate activity and partake in it for the rest of the evening between deliveries of his favourite foods, with everything fried – meats of every kind, dough, potatoes and cheese. He knows his body will probably expel all of it, but at least he will be happy for a few hours.

Then a funny thing happens. 7 September 2075 comes and goes, and Marvin is still alive. In fact, he outlives four AI machines and even though he continues to eat exactly what he wants, he dies peacefully in his bed 35 years later.