...Oops.

This is the first time I’ve been to the beach. The stories told does it no justice at all. The view is absolutely stunning! The way the sunlight—no, how could one even describe this?! This does not look real. A massive wave of turquoise as far as the eye can see, washing back and forth as if it is lulling me into the blue deep. The air is salty and thick, the heat against the sand creates an odd but earthy aroma mixed with this aftertaste of saltiness. The sand is calling to me, its glittering in rich yellows and golds and I have a strong urge to bury my toes in the sand. Immediately taking off my adventurer’s boots and submerging my toes into the sand with a vertical and slow dive. It was bliss. I tilt my head back as one would after submerging themselves into a hot bath. Divine! The sound… was not like I hoped it would be.

It’s like.

Hmm…

Let me think.

It’s resembling people screaming and seagulls screeching in synchronized panic? The clang of a warning bell? Constantly married with the sound of something large thumping about violently crashing against the sound of wood? I’m confused. Why does the beach sound like tha—

“For goodness sake, help! Please! Sea monsters are attacking my village!” a old man shrieks in panic tugging at the bottom corners of my tunic.

Right. I needed gold and took on this quest to save a small village from recurring sea monster attacks.

…Oops

I looked beyond the screaming old man and saw why I was hearing utter chaos when I was getting lost in the sea. Large crab-like creatures, as tall as houses, attacked the village in packs. One was seen crashing its large claws into the side of a small home. With every swing, it was rewarded with the screams of those inside. To the right, a group of men formed a defensive circle. Facing forward with spears clutched tightly, they jolted forward in unison to fend off two of the creatures. There was a swarm of women and children fleeing into the forest, led by two men waving for others to flee their way when safe timing presented itself.

One of the crabs seemed only focused on destroying buildings, almost as if it was taking its frustrations out on them. Blow for blow, the small house endured, soon to be like the others to its left and right. Others well enough to fight flanked the one crab that appeared to have missed the crab attack briefing held this morning. It was just standing there, staring out at the sea. I was sure that guy was going to get demoted once this was all over. The fool.

“PLEASE!” The man screamed in tears and pure desperation.

“Righto!” I snapped and charged into the chaos, pulling my blade from its sheath swiftly and beautifully. I remembered how, during training, I had struggled so hard with this. Everyone else was catching on and doing it so quickly, and then there was me, struggling. I bet they were thinking that there was no way this guy was going to become a swordsman. Well, joke’s on you, assholes! I’m a swordsman, and a damn good one.

I charged towards the one destroying the buildings first. I hated the sound it made when the boards crashed; a horrific, high-pitched screeching that grated against my ears so badly it made my teeth ache. Like what kind of noise is that?!

Oh, yea-ah. The people! There are people in there! I must make haste! The enlarged crustacean immediately took notice of me and skittered toward me sideways. Why?! I hated that it did that! It was facing forward when it was going to town on that house.

…Going to town. Ha ha ha!—But yeah, that made my flesh crawl. It swung its chest-sized claw at me, and I jumped back and parried it to the side. It made this loud, dull clunking noise on impact, which was kind of odd. I was expecting it to make a deep egg-crack noise, to fracture and cave in. But it did no such thing and instead made a sound similar to a drum. We swung at each other once more, and the hollow drumbeat echoed again.

I had a strange urge to make use of the sound.

I remembered hearing this one song in the tavern the other day, and I was really getting into it. How did it go? It was like:

“I don’t want to row, I’m not a duck!”

Tum-tum!

“I don’t want to row, I’m not a duck!”

Tum-tum-tum!

So, I started swinging. Striking the shell to the song in my head that ultimately spilled out of my mouth as I continued my performance. I was sure I could be a drummer on the side. Or perhaps a bard? Yeah, I could be both. I didn’t notice the small rock I was inching toward and tripped over it a little, which forced my blade upward, sliding forward and slicing right through the weak point between its leg’s joint segments.

The creature screamed in agony as green ooze spurted from its separated joints. It ruined my song. And the smell was a whole new level of foul fish; so awful that if I tried to describe it, the sheer distraction would ultimately cause me to fail this mission and everyone would end up dead. Mostly because I would be dead, too. The creature kept screaming in pain unable to grasp its missing appendage. Swaying it clawed main hands in the air in a dance of pain, like it lost a limb or something. I hated absolutely everything about this. I hated the smell, the stinky ooze that also splattered on my bare feet, and the sound!

“Please stop making that sound or I’ll make you stop!”

Planting and anchoring my bare feet into the shifting and beautiful grains of rich yellows and golds, I launched myself into a high, arcing leap. My body twisted as my sword, held high behind me, reflected the blinding sunlight into the eyes of the pain-dancing crab. I spun past its face while my blade slithered cleanly through the giant creature’s massive, shielded head, flinging it in the opposite direction.

Straight into the sea.

I looked around the blood-and-ooze-splattered beach, suddenly realizing I had completely lost track of where I left my boots. The sand still felt nice though. Since I couldn’t find them anywhere, I decided to redirect my frustration toward the second giant crab; the one that had been aggressively taking its anger out on the town’s architecture like a maniac. I ran up and made quick work of it, delivering a series of rapid, rhythmic strikes until it collapsed into a heap of shell and green slime.

With that guy out of the way, I scanned the ruined village. The only structure left completely untouched was a sturdy wooden storefront labeled as an equipment and potion shop. Raising my shoulders up to close my ears to block out the sound of monster raged-screams and the blood-curdling human ones, I kept my sword in one hand and opened the front door with the other.

Inside, the shopkeeper was standing behind the counter, perfectly calm. He looked at me blankly and asked, “What are you buying? We got bows, axes, swords, and potions.”

Trying to tune out the chaotic song of destruction blasting from outside, I started browsing his inventory. As I chatted with him about trade-in values for my spare gear, the muffled sounds of destruction echoed through the walls. At one point, there was a massive, violent THUD right against the side of the shop, accompanied by a blood-curdling human scream. The shopkeeper didn’t blink. Neither did I. The shopping continued.

When I was finally finished making my transactions, I stepped back outside. A few dead villagers lay scattered in the dirt, including the poor guy who had just slammed into the wall screaming. Oddly enough, all the remaining sea creatures were dead, too. Not a living villager could be seen in sight.

It turned out another adventurer had taken up the exact same bounty and had single-handedly slaughtered the rest of the horde while I was shopping. And he found my boots! We walked down by the shore to chat about the contract. As I dragged my boots back on, he casually informed me that he intended to claim the entire reward for himself. I was furious. Yeah, I was shopping, but I still killed a few of them! I should get something.

“Be fair! Random adventurer-man!” I complained. He argued that he did not see me when he was taking care of the monsters. He said he saw only the dead and not one single person alive, and was disappointed that I was just in here hiding while these poor villagers were dying.

Right as I opened my mouth to argue, and without warning, the slacker crab lunged forward and swallowed the adventurer whole. The guy didn’t even see it coming, which was hilarious because the crab was obviously right there. Well, neither did I, but who’s gonna know? I whipped my blade around and sliced the giant crustacean cleanly in half and slid it back into its sheath.

Unfortunately, my blade cut a little too cleanly, accidentally bifurcating both the crab and the wholly swallowed adventurer inside.

…Oops.

To cover my mistake of accidentally killing the guy, I kicked the two halves of the carcass out into the sea and turned around, only to hear an explosion of roaring cheers. The surviving villagers were pouring out of the forest, throwing their hands in the air, praising me as the grand savior who had single-handedly delivered them from the sea monster menace. It scared the living crap out of me. Had they seen?! While the cheers were ongoing I noticed something. Something absolutely jaw-dropping. Divine!

I stood there on the beach, staring past the cheering crowd as my eyes caught the dense, beautiful emerald canopy of the surrounding forest scenery. The way the sunlight filtered through the leaves—no, how could anyone even describe it?

The sound of the leaves brushing up against each other almost sounded like the clapping and cheering of a large group of people. Which was strange. Perhaps I was tired. I decided that I was indeed exhausted and wanted to make camp in the most beautiful forest I have ever seen for the night. These random people kept walking up to me while I was heading toward the forest with bags of food, family heirlooms, and trinkets. It was nice. Villages can be so welcoming sometimes.

Carrying my welcome gifts, I settled in the perfect spot. Surrounded by a circle of thick trees allowing the moonlight to sparkle through the canopy, producing its own stars right there before me as a personal show. Divine! The grass was lush and soft, providing a perfect place to lay my head. I set up camp, ate a few of the food items gifted to me, and began to drift off into the best sleep I’ve ever had.

A smooth breeze shifted the leaves, awakening me from my sleep. Crap! I completely forgot to actually go to the guild to claim the monetary reward for saving the village!

Broke for the fifth time in a row. At least every time I visit a village they give me things to keep going.

…Oops.