How I Met my boyfriend

This story contains emotional abuse, and self harm.

There was someone I was looking to date, but I never knew my decision would have changed for the better

it was the start of school and there were so many new kids coming. My best friend had recently graduated and The place felt weird without them there.

my boyfriend was the type of kid that was completely different from all the others. He stood out because he was loud and he loved blasting music, and when you were near him, you could hear exactly what he was saying. At first, I thought it was annoying, now I think it’s charming.

every time I came home, it was always me talking about how loud and annoying the kid was. I never knew that he would save me from a deep depression. He played a good music and he was genuinely friendly when I talked to him. That is when I knew that under the loud annoying mask, there was something soft. Something I couldn’t explain yet. There was a staff member there that was emotionally abusive. It was hard to go to the school. I remember at some point we became genuine friends, and I asked one of our mutual friends for his number. He felt weird because he thought I wasn’t OK with it, but I assured him that I absolutely was. So back to that staff member she was an elderly woman who thought she ran the entire dorm because she was a senior staff. She would yell at all of us. There was a literal hearing in parent student. every time she asked them to do something, they would ask what and most of the time it might have been just to mess with her, but there were times when they genuinely couldn’t hear her. They would always ask her, “what?” and she would always respond with, “You heard me.”. it made me angry, but I was genuinely scared of those women. At one point, I would cry when I had to go to school because she used to force me and every student to eat things they didn’t like and she was just terrible. She and the other staff member would gossip at night about my boyfriend. I didn’t know he was my boyfriend, I just knew he was my friend and I hated it. The other staff member went along with it because she was genuinely scared of her too. I mean this woman was the type that would FaceTime her grandkids during her working time and she would sit there and loudly talk with them while other people were trying to do something. It was completely annoying. I started reporting these things to the school psychologist. I would quote what she would say about my boyfriend and explain how she hurt me. Before I started doing this, my grandma brought me to school and explained what I didn’t like and how she didn’t appreciate that I was forced to eat that stuff and this woman acted like she didn’t know. I didn’t like this stuff. I took my grandma to my bedroom and I told her she did know that because I specifically said that I didn’t like it. I don’t like peas because the texture in my mouth makes me want to gag. I don’t like chicken pot pies because all the textures at once made me want to gag. Even thinking about it makes me want to gag. I remember my grandma couldn’t leave the school for hours because I was crying. I’m begging her not to leave me and saying that I didn’t want her to hurt me because I told you these things because she would get really upset if we even hinted about reporting things to a staff member, even if we were joking. I mean parents can make it worse, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. I was sobbing my grandma‘s arms, and when grandma stepped out to do something really quickly, my boyfriend who was still my friend at the time texted me. He told me that he noticed that once I took my grandma into my room I didn’t come out. He told me that he noticed that the rec therapist stayed in the room with me. The walls were thin and he probably heard me crying, but he didn’t tell me that. He said he was worried and asked if I was OK. He used to tell that he was genuinely looking for the honest answer. At first, I thought it was false. I thought it was him just asking to look good in front of staff but when I said yes, he asked if I was sure. That’s when I broke down even harder and I told him that the truth. I told him that the staff member gave me really bad anxiety and I didn’t want her to hurt me for going to my grandma. I told him everything. Sometime later, I asked him to be my boyfriend, but he said he had to think about it. He told me he didn’t want to date anyone that caused drama and I genuinely don’t blame him. Although I don’t cause drama, anyone can say that. Plus, actions speak louder than words. We became really close and we started reporting this staff member together. Our parents helped, the school psychologist helped, the superintendent helped, all the people that we needed helped. No one liked the staff member. At one point she made me so anxious that my grandmother literally had to stay at the school with me overnight for a week. At one point, she left to get dinner, and I was in the bathtub, shaving all the places that needs to be shaved, but this woman made me want to do things to myself that I am ashamed to admit. I started shaving the back of my head and at one point, I cut myself. For a while it felt satisfying, but then it hurt. I remember I literally stayed in the bathtub until my grandma got back. She took me to the nurses office and wrote the incident report. I didn’t tell them that this staff member made me want to do that, but when I was in private, I told my grandma privately. I told her not to tell anyone. She kept it secret for a long time. The day that happened that staff member had to leave early because she was under their investigation. She was moved to a different dormitory, and I continued hanging out with my boyfriend. I was still extremely anxious, but it got a bit better. Before the shaving incident, everything seemed fine. I had to report a few things, but it wasn’t anything major. I was getting ready for bed when she confronted me. She told me that if I had a problem I could come to her. She told me that I didn’t have to go to any supervisors or anyone higher up. She told me that she told my boyfriend the same thing. I was really anxious, but I was also angry. At that point, I was thinking how dare you? After a long time she was finally out of that dorm. Things slowly became better. I talked to my boyfriend more. I was out of the bedroom more. Someone else came in to cover for that person until we could find someone to permanently be there. then in December, my best friend at the time went to my birthday party. We were at an indoor waterpark and the day was great. I went back to the school, and my boyfriend was blasting music as usual, and he accidentally extended my birthday party. I secretly don’t think it was an accident though. My sister pulled me aside and said hey your boyfriend is in the living room alone. You should go sit with him, and I said stop it. He’s not my boyfriend! Because he wasn’t. my sister replied with not yet, and little did I know that she was right.

The next day, one day before my birthday, we were just sitting on the couch, and a very, very casually out of the blue, he said, I think I’ll say yes to the question you asked me.

I had to hold back my screen. He told me I had to clarify what it meant, though, so I did over text message and he immediately said yes. I didn’t know that my best friend was toxic at the time, but slowly, my boyfriend has helped me see it.

We’ve been going strong for over a year now and I couldn’t be happier.

He is the light of my life and I love him.