Depths

Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

My fingers tremble as I shift my gaze away from the tavern window, trying to still my nervous heartbeat that is currently thundering through my veins.

Am I being stupid? Yes.

Stuck in my own head? Double yes.

Paranoid? Definitely.

Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

All the stories have already been done about mermaids, sirens, and pirates. I know the tales, I know none of them are true, and that I’m the only man in my village who feels like a “ghost” is out there haunting me to my wits' end.

But something, something has been lurking in the depths of the sea, causing little pockets of air bubbles to rise towards the surface…

A server bumps into my table by accident, offering an apology, but I quickly glance down into my glass of water, the slight shift of ice cubes from the force of her stumble creating mini waves, which unfortunately cause my thoughts to turn away from the here and now.

A female humming a honey-sweet tune in the middle of the night, poking and prodding my already battered heart at the loss of Aunt Sarah. Like the sea knows my pain, my grief, the empty void of my heart that is her, and everything that she loved so dearly.

But I can’t break away from it, all the smells, sights, and sounds.

Sand squished in between my toes on the verge of caking, sticky, and wet.

Lazy waves lapping against the shoreline with the bright full sun casting its golden glow across the rippling surface of glass-like water.

Salty sea spray coating my lips and flaking my flesh in iridescent shimmery sparkles.

And then at night, the whispering wind playing tag in the sea-grass and the ocean so dark stars twinkle along its surface, taunting any dreamer to make a wish.

The two sides of the sea, light and dark, have always fascinated me.

I swallow thickly, looking down at my ring and pinkie finger that currently sit at a crooked angle. The doctor said I was lucky, considering my only sustaining injury was two busted fingers when Aunt Sarah just…vanished. No screams. No fighting. Not even a break in the ocean's steady rhythm when she got taken away right from underneath my nose, like a freaking magic trick, and I fought for my life before clonking out on shore.

“Aunt Sarah!” I screamed, blood gone cold as I watched her-helpless-disappear underneath a froth-tipped wave with the last remaining lucid thought I had before the world faded into a void of black.

Four months ago already.

I’m still a mess.

Still torn.

Still-

The song starts up once more, and my gaze returns to the window, a fine sheen of sweat coating my brow at the beautiful, haunting vocals.

Granules of sand glittering across my knuckles like the illusion of golden rings as I set the picnic blanket down.

A hushed breeze carrying soft, sweet notes of her vanilla perfume and warm, sunny promises followed by Aunt Sarah’s delicate laugh as seagulls attempt to steal our lunch, her hazel eyes always in a war between fierce brown and loving, calm emerald green like her personality.

Tears prick behind my eyes as that song brings up memories that both haunt and hurt.

Again, the question lingers: How does the sea know?

“Ugh, not this again.” A burly man with red, curly hair takes a seat across from me, effectively breaking the moment. He also just so happens to be Aunt Sarah’s former business partner. “Dave, how many times do we have to go over this? Sarah got caught in a rip-current, end of story.”

“No.” I shake my head. “It wasn’t just a rip-current. We specifically had a picnic on the shore that day because it was beautiful out. Calm, quiet sea. Picturesque sunset.”

The man across from me rolls his eyes, a busybody if I ever knew one. Perks of living in a quiet fishing town. “You know what your problem is? Your imagination gets the best of you.”

I grit my teeth. “I know what I saw.”

“Don’t you mean what you didn’t?” He lifts a bushy brow. “Story goes you blacked out for four hours.”

“So?”

“So, Mr. High and Mighty, there are no merfolk in this village. No sirens or any other sea monster you could possibly dream up in that head of yours.”

I sat back in my seat, growing agitated now. “And how could you possibly know that?”

“Because men have gone out to sea and come back in one piece. Safe and sound.”

“I’m delusional then.”

His sapphire blue eyes swirl, shadows lingering just underneath the surface as a smirk plays across his lips. “Hey, your words, not mine, man.”

But when he gets up to leave, I can’t help but notice the smell of ocean brine coming off his clothes or the way he stares hungrily out to sea, lost in memory for a moment before realizing where he is and shakes out his head.

Every cell in my body goes on red-hot alert.

***

That night I dream that I’m drowning, a slow death that causes a cold sweat to break across my skin. Water filling my lungs, panicked flailing, doing nothing but dragging me deeper into the sea’s cold embrace. A voice takes over in a soothing lullaby, speaking of how the ocean acts as a sanctuary for all who are lost.

Eyes a rich cobalt blue, dark and unforgiving.

Razor-sharp teeth hidden behind a red lip painted smile.

And fingernails with a jagged edge, their finger crooking me to come closer…

I sit up abruptly, gasping for air, and immediately notice the chilled breeze coming through my bedroom window, followed by a woman's whisper, delicate and sure. “Don’t be afraid, Dave. Don’t. Be. A-”

I slam the window shut, trembling as a feminine shadow stretches long and wide, the moonlight casting a hazy, silver aura around her.

It’s captivating even though my heart stutters at the sight of it…

Am I finally losing it?

Shuddering, I race towards my closet, reaching for a thick wool coat, and then plan on making myself a cup of coffee.

Screw sleeping at this point.

Outside thunder claps, rain pours down in buckets as lightning dances across the hazy sky. Her voice, silky and smooth, still sing-songs, “Daaave, there is no need to hide from me.”

I slam my eyes shut, pressing the heel of my palms against my ears to drown out her alluring voice. “None of this is real. You just miss your aunt. This is grief talking.”

The floorboards creak underneath my bare feet, my pace kicking into high gear as I repeat the mantra I’ve been telling myself since two days after Aunt Sarah’s disappearance. When the eerie presence of another soul tracing my every move couldn’t be shaken, when my dreams turned into one of repeated nightmares, and the haunted vocals followed along behind me like a lapdog.

“The sea-”

I deliberately hunch my shoulders, ducking my chin so I don’t accidentally peer outside the kitchen window while I grab the strongest coffee I have in my arsenal.

“Misses you, Dave.” Another thunderclap, droplets of rainwater pounding against the rooftop. “Come home.”

My heartbeat ramps up into overdrive, beating so fast and hard that I grow light-headed.

Sweat and chills fight for dominance over my body.

Terror claws its way-

Thud, thud.

My gaze locks on the wooden front door, currently shaking from the fierce rapping of whoever is on the other side. Or should I say, what?

Thud-thud.

Instinct tells me to grab my cup of coffee and hunker down in the living room, that my brain is just messing with me.

I-

“Dave, for the love of everything that I hold dear, will you just open the door?” Kevin’s voice-the same guy from the tavern earlier-is slightly muffled.

I open the door just a crack, steaming coffee mug in hand. “Yes?”

“I heard a voice,” his own vocal cords strained. “It sounded like your Aunt Sarah, and she was crying for help.”

I blink.

Once.

Twice.

“What?”

Kevin stands there, shivering in the rain, but doesn’t ask to be let in. “I’m sure of it.”

My entire body trembles, the coffee nearly spilling over from the act. I know it’s not real, it can’t be, but how many times have I wished the same thing? Fallen into the pit of grief so deep that I could swear at times Aunt Sarah was still here, that there was still hope.

And so, meeting Kevin’s clouded gaze with my own, I make a split-second decision that may or may not be the wisest one I’ve ever landed on in my lifetime, switching out my coffee for a lantern. “Lead the way.”

***

We’re seated in his boat within minutes, rain drenching our clothes as Kevin rows us out to sea, muscles straining and bulging in his arms, before stopping abruptly. “This is it. This is where her screams sounded the loudest.”

I give him the side eye. “Forgive me for being paranoid, but are you sure?”

Kevin grunts in response. “Positive.”

“Well, I’m not. Kevin, think about this-”

He holds up a hand. “Enough, Dave.” He sets the oars across his lap and points. “Tell me what you see out there.”

I’m about to argue with him, what, being cold, tired, and enduring two jump scares, but I end up answering the man in the end. “Just ocean and an untimely storm.”

He shakes his head, whispering, “You're wrong.” But his normally steady gaze is wild, on edge. His leg bounces up and down in the little rowboat, causing every fine hair on my body to stand on end. “You don’t hear that?”

I shake my head.

This was a mistake. What was I thinking, rowing out to sea in the middle of a stormy night?

I start to reach for an oar until it happens again. I black out.

A splash.

A twisted laugh of delight.

A dainty hum then-

Nothing.

“Kevin?” I stand, the little boat wobbling as I do so. Thunder rumbles above my head. “Kevin!”

The sea bubbles, a figure rising towards the surface, and I can’t help the scream that rips from my throat at the sight of her.

Both beautiful and lethal, alluring and frightful. Her locks of midnight black hair bring a charge to the cobalt blue of her eyes, giving her the illusion of a fierce warrior.

I stumble back, nearly upending the boat. “W-what-”

“Shh, Dave.” Her fingers clamp against the boat’s edge, talon-like fingernails digging in.

I still try again. “W-”

“You know who I am.” She flashes me a smile with jagged teeth, her eyes a window into the person I long since thought I’d dead and buried.

All the fragmented, lonely, trauma-induced, grief-stricken parts of myself.

Siren.

Then, for the first time in months, I’m finally given an ultimatum. “Find a way through your grief, Dave, or become lost to the sea like your friend just did. We are creatures of habit and gravitate toward those like us.”

Her smile is dark, dangerous, and yet-

“How?” The only word that will come out.

If anything, her smile only grows wider. “The ocean has layers like the human psyche, and anything that belongs to the sea will always find a way back home.”

I collapse into the boat, contemplating…

And just like that, she sinks back underneath the surface, those eyes blending with the ever-shifting color of the sea, before vanishing altogether, leaving me alone in the middle of a storm and racing thoughts.

Thump-thump. Thump-thump.