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W B

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Oct, 2024

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77 Followers
58 Following

11 Stories

535 karma pts

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The Orion Spur East Local Council Public Transport Planning Committee

W B

Weekly Contest #354

“Morning Pompo!”“Morning.”“How’re you?”“Good thank you.”“Very good! Good is good,” chirped Akbar, with an enthusiasm unfettered by Pompo’s weary expression.“Is everything set up?”“Indeed it is, everything is perfectly-”“And will all ten Representatives be attending?”“Indeed they will! Although unfortunately the Representative for Sirius will be joining via video link.”“Christ!” Pompo’s tentacles writhed as he collapsed into his seat. “I’ve been chairing this damn committee for six months and he hasn’t shown up once.”“He does have to do the s...

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The Future Planning Committee

W B

Weekly Contest #338

Back in the car, Gordon breathed a sigh of relief. Not a single strand of hair was out of place, despite the extreme weather warning. His inauguration speech had gone perfectly, as he knew it would. He’d been practising since he was ten. Whilst gazing contentedly out the window, he became vaguely aware of a voice next to him. “Fantastic speech as always, Mr President,” the address hit like ecstasy. “Obviously, you have a copy of the itinerary for your first day, but the briefing team would like to know if there’s anything in particular, you’...

19 likes 3 comments 3
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The Protracted, Peculiar, and Probably Quite Pointless Trial of Bertie Masturbine

W B

Winner of Weekly Contest #329 🏆

Rather than enjoying the miracle of life, humankind has generally chosen the opposite – they have tried to understand it. More specifically, since the first caveman scribbled on the walls of his home, humankind has questioned what comes afterwards. Broadly, there are three schools of thought. Some think there’s nothing. Logical, if a bit dull. Some ‘don’t believe in, like, heaven and hell and all that stuff but feel, y’know, like there must be something out there, like, death can’t be the end, right?’ This is the most insufferable school of ...

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The Little Gest of Robin Hood

W B

Weekly Contest #320

“Another great day chaps! These linens should fetch a fair few shillings and the salt fish should keep us going for the next week.” Little John smiled merrily in his saddle as he fletched a bundle of sticks to add to the endless pile of arrows bulging in his quiver. Ever the multitasker, he was eyeing up the wagon besides him. It seemed to creek with the weight of the fabrics they’d liberated from the merchants on the King’s Road. Based on some crude calculations, the profits would keep the poorhouse going for at least a month – perhaps ther...

14 likes 3 comments 3
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The Night The Clocks Went Forward

W B

Weekly Contest #301

“The target will emerge at exactly 1am. Since the last attempt on his life, Muskelliovic has upgraded his security tenfold. They will scan the rooves 10 minutes before he emerges, and then again 1 minute before. Once the final scan is complete, we will have approximately 30 seconds to assemble the Remington M20 and position ourselves in the CCTV blind spot before he emerges. When he does, he will be surrounded by security but there will be a moment as he’s entering the car when there will be a clear shot on the target’s head. I will take the...

16 likes 2 comments 2
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The High Priestess of Doomreeper Motte

W B

Weekly Contest #294

Day 28 To His Royal Majesty King Arthur of Albion, Your Majesty, I, Sir Harold Harefoot, am pleased to inform you that I have successfully defeated the pagan rebels. Yesterday morning, I stormed Doomreeper Motte and drove the rebels out into the Marshes of Olde Murcia. When Lord Percy finally arrives with reinforcements, I will pursue them myself. You have my word as a knight that, soon, The Umberlands will be restored to your Kingdom. No doubt, chroniclers will tell of my duel with Scar McCallion and my single-handed victory over the Wulfsb...

9 likes 2 comments 2
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MozonCorp 3

W B

Weekly Contest #289

I always knew I was destined for great things. My parents were both born on Level 2 but ascended to Level 5. Whilst it was still menial labour, their skillset was better suited to the more complex products. However, with elevation came complacency. Upon moving into their new, more spacious sleeper pods; with meat privileges and an increased wine allowance, their productivity flagged.When I rose to level 90, my first act was to remove any alcohol from Levels 1-10. But I’m getting ahead of myself. At school, I exceled. I worked out that m...

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The Greatest Of All Great Men

W B

Weekly Contest #285

He clasped the lever and dragged it down. A cacophonous burst of energy and the machine exploded into life. Metallic fibres hummed with possibility as Charles Rothstein climbed into the capsule and unfurled his scribbled notes: ‘ED-B: +56%, HVRT: +44%, SPU: +43%, EVT: +40%, GU: +35%’  Of course, travelling back 25 days to invest in profitable shares wasn’t the most creative use of time travel, but he had to test the contraption somehow. Besides, boosting his net worth by a cool $178bn wouldn’t hurt. The divorce had been crippling but on...

7 likes 1 comment 1
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Yes, Prime Minister

W B

Weekly Contest #283

“So, I assume Christmas is cancelled?” “Afraid so mate.” “I’ll text Rachel, the kids might as well open the presents without me.” Liam sighed. Craig had been his deputy for two years and already the cracks were beginning to show. Crow’s feet and grey hairs had come early to the young man opposite him and the guilty look in his eye suggested another early morning row with his wife. Liam recognised the look. He’d seen it in the mirror almost every week during his first year working in No. 10 Downing Street. Of course, Liam was now divorced. “T...

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The Last Dragon

W B

Weekly Contest #274

“Forgive me sire, I have failed. I could not do it.” The king didn’t meet Sir Barnabus’ eyes as he left his throne and swaggered to the edge of the dais. Truthfully, he hadn’t expected any success, but it still irked him. The knights of Albion had a reputation to uphold. This was the fourth he’d sent on this quest and the fourth who had returned emptyhanded. Albion’s unruly nobility was becoming restless, and this was starting to become an embarrassment.  By any measure, it had been a successful reign. He’d reduced inflation of the gold...

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Saving Mr Scruffy

W B

Weekly Contest #273

The problem with being good at your job is that others notice. I should have had the foresight to fumble a few easy cases during my training and spend the rest of my career coasting, but no. You see, in my line of work, there are the easy cases, the hard cases and the downright impossible cases. Naturally, after excelling at my job for years, the chap upstairs has rewarded me with successive examples of the latter, and you were the hardest yet.After receiving the alert, your parents dragged you from your bed. You weren’t happy but then again...

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