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Miles Gatling

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Nov, 2019

Stories
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486 Followers
638 Following

73 Stories

1599 karma pts

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Rated R for pirates

“Quick use your mighty ass, Red Plug! It's the only way to stop that all-powerful woman who has butt one weakness.”“I can’t, Emo Claws. Not even my ass is a match for her wisdom, power, and plot armor. We must explore our feminine side and talk about our feelings so she can take pity on us.”“At least make fun of her baldness or something. You sound hopeless.”“Alopecia is no laughing matter, Emo Claws. I will release her from death’s grip and put both of us at her mercy.” Come closer there’s plenty of room up front. Did you enjoy the movie? W...

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Tits butt a dream

The coffee was piping hot but she wrapped the thing in a cardboard sleeve. He picked the single seat table. Unfortunately it was positioned in direct view of the counter. The cardboard or plastic cup sat on the counter steaming ever so gently.“Excuse me, is this for Frank?”She stared with her raccoon eyes, the dark eyeliner extending to her nostrils.“It's for Foe, can't you read?” she hissed, her stud hitting the metal wire that crushed her crooked teeth in position. How her tongue didn't get stuck in those brackets is a mystery. She was lit...

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Force it in you, force be with you...

“It’s called an action figure, you fucking cunt.” Skip to the end if you don’t want Star Trek spoilers. It’s just dialog with “cunt” sprinkled throughout. “The only action that toy will see is you wanking away at print screens of Syndulla. Old man Henry could lend you one of his goats if you like horns.”“They’re not horns, they're called lekku. It’s an appendage that grows from their skull. I like her because she leads the rebellion, the fight against -.”“You like her because of those mommy milkers. Who the fuck brings their kid on space mis...

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Roses are red

It wore his skin flawlessly. It looked like any other: dancing, feasting, weighing in on current affairs. One would have to regard it closely to see the sum of all that is dark dwelling inside. Its eyes froze men in place and made women sigh.  The dance was in full swing. Jolly, colorful musicians strung their instruments. A tune from the far east filled the hall bringing visions of sand dunes, of pointy towers, of figs and spice. Draped in gold and white linen the beautiful Harrisa spun on her bare feet. Her laugh echoed violently thro...

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Mom in the cockpit

Are you talking to me? Who do you think you talking to you stupid cocksucker, fuckin fuck-Melvin? Are you on the phone?Yes. I'm talking to my friends.Ok. Do I know their mothers?I play online with them. Don't worry about it.Ok, text me if you need anything.I will, mom.Alright where was I.You. Talking to me? Come on keep the flow going. Are you. Talking to me. I better write this down.Would you like burgers for dinner?Mom, did you say something?Melvin, open your door. I said do you want burgers for dinner?Yeah that sounds great, thanks.What a...

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It's fine

“Name?”“Stan Smith.”“Your total is 23,3.”“I thought it was 20. That’s the price on the shelf.”“Stan Smith. The number 4 symbolizes stability, reliability, and hard work, while the number 1 embodies independence, leadership, and new beginnings. Together, they suggest a blend of ambition, diligence, and a drive to take the lead. Today's resonance however is five so your total embodies 23,3. It’s in the stars. Touch the pad, please.” Stan shuffled to his car parked under a cedar tree. The wind must have picked up last night because his win...

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Nailed it

“How much for these over here?” the tall man in overalls asked.“Those are brand new, I just got them this morning. Check them out,” the toothless clerk said, gently handing over a torch. “This bad boy right here can burn for twelve hours straight no wind is gonna be strong enough to put these out.”The tall man studied the torch admiring its craftsmanship. He ran his fingers over the leather wrapping and smelled the soaked rags.“I can hardly smell anything. Are you sure this stuff will burn?”“Mister, that is the torch they use in Base One. Yo...

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Light crystal

“Namaste! You are welcomed in the Temple of Light.”“Hi, thank you so much. It’s beautiful in here.”“I’m going to have to ask you to lower your voice…”“Oh, right, my bad. Sorry about that.”“You see, we believe in the healing properties of silence, both in body, mind, and spirit.”“I should send my ex-wife. She wouldn’t last a minute in this place.”“Follow me into the foyer. I bet you are excited to begin.”Wow, get a load of this place. It’s shiny and smells like those tiny twigs that moms set on fire. Where is this guy taking me? How long is a...

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I mean, it's obvious.

I mean, it’s obvious. There’s no doubt about it. If there was any other way…But clearly, it must be done. Now is it the ideal situation? Should an alternative pop up would I consider it? Of course, I intend to avoid this by all means, but there’s just no getting around this problem.  Maybe calling it a  problem is an exaggeration. It’s mostly an inconvenience, a pain in my side. It doesn’t impede my work or affect my overall health. It doesn’t take that much time out of my day. I admit it’s not easy to navigate these days with all...

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Steve Fitniss

The damp forest air clung to Steve's clothes. His pace slowed down to crawl as the sunlight quickly faded. He cut his forearms on jagged branches in an attempt to keep both his eyes in his skull and not have them dangling from a pine tree.  Even though Steve jumped at the sound of every branch cracking, every critter scurrying about the forest floor, he marched ahead. An orange flame flickered on the horizon and Steve sighed. Brushing aside the last of the forest pines the man stood before a clay hut, an old hermit stirring into a cau...

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The wizard, the knight and the beaver

"Forces of darkness, heed my call. Nightmares of the ancients, answer my prayers. Devils of... Melvin, honey, dinner is ready." "Shut up, Mom, I'm busy." "We've talked about this. Come eat dinner like a big boy with your father and me." "I'm not hungry. Bring me some cereal." "Cereal for dinner? Not a chance, young man. Come downstairs this instant." Melvin mumbled down the steps, dressed in his oversized pajamas. His greasy hair locks constantly poked one eye. The black shirt with "Life is pain" smelled like freshly cut flowers....

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Rip and tear a tendon

The doctor's office looked nice. The chair was leather and a pitcher of water and some candy for the patient were set atop a wooden coffee table. All that could be heard was the clicking of a keyboard. Can you recall when you first noticed the loss of feeling in your fingers? Did you note down the sensation in both your left and right trigger fingers? Silence Did the incident relate to trauma, or did it occur during the demon-slaying campaign? This information is crucial for an accurate diagnosis and subsequent treatment. The tests we ...

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Mark of steel

Lord of the Rings spoiler The horn pierced his backplate, jutting out just above the breastbone. It lifted the knight high above the muddy field. The men under his command fled as best as they could, sliding and falling every which way. He was waved above the battlefield like a banner in the wind, neighs echoing throughout the grasslands. With a thud, his body dropped to the ground, slowly pooling. The beasts rose on their hind legs and stomped the ground near the knight's head, mocking the dying soldier, snorting sparks and glitter into...

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Low in sugar

There's a soda can on a wooden desk. The room has no windows but is super bright. A scientist is being interviewed; can't say I know him. It looks like it's something about additives in food and water. The reporter is from a big newspaper. I think I saw him in a TED talk. Let me check. He stars in a TV show with computers and software. That must be the scientist in charge of the project. He's sipping from the can, nodding at the reporter. He's laughing, making friendly chit-chat, pointing at his soda can. "Do you want a sip?" That's a weird ...

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Your password is too short, ask Nick

The elevator doors were just about to close when Nick heard a woman cry out to him. He pried them open with his free hand.“Thank you, I can’t be late today. Big meeting with the board…”“No problem, glad to help.”“You look familiar. Have we met?”He sighed. “Don’t think so.”“Hey, now I recognize you. The whole company is talking about you.”“This is my floor, excuse me.”He pushed past her.“Wait please my number is 555-”The doors closed with a clang. He carried his heavy briefcase up the stairs. The last few steps left Nick breathing hard. He fr...

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