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Weekly Contest #343
I can’t help it; that’s the way I’ve always been and the way I’ll be until my last breath. At least, that’s my plan. “Hey, Ralph, good morning! I’m here for my weekly abuse at your quite capable hands. I want you to get me all fit and muscular to impress my darling at home.” “Come on in, Mr. Trawick. You’re looking especially wimpy today. I’ll bet you didn’t do your homework.” Continuing our weekly banter, I informed my trainer, “Yes, I did my body weight rows with my TRX. Yes, I did three sets of ten every day. And I did my incline pushu...
Weekly Contest #341
“Holy crap! I thought you died! I mean, like, years ago. You look great for a really old dead girl.” That’s how it started. I was alone in my bedroom on my comfortable bed when something awakened me. A noise, a shift in the air, a variation in the light, I don’t know. In truth, it doesn’t matter. I was awake. Letitia was radiant and gorgeous standing in the corner looking at me. Who cares? I hadn’t seen her in years. That had a lot to do with her dying in a car wreck and me assisting the priest at her funeral. It was an open-casket ...
Weekly Contest #340
“So, how do I tell this? “I was about nine years old when it first happened. I was sitting on a couch at Jay Beaucamp’s combination parts store/mechanic shop/second hand goods store. My mother ran the second hand goods store and us kids stayed with her after school until either Dad got off work or Mother closed the store. If Dad got off work first, he’d come and wait for Mother to close the store, then we’d all go home. If Mother closed the store before Dad got there, Jay or one of his hired hands would take us all home in some beat-up o...
Weekly Contest #337
“Boo!” Sitting on Iliana’s memorial bench in Holy Hope Cemetery, lost in decades-old memories, I was startled by a woman’s voice behind me. I admit, I was spooked; no pun intended. I jumped straight up and whipped around and there she was!“Iliana, what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be dead!”“Well, that’s kind of rude! And guess what; I’m not dead…to you,” was her rather snotty reply.To get things straight, Iliana died two months ago. Localized social media, print news, her business news posting and website all proclaimed her gr...
Weekly Contest #336
“Dad, I’m calling the cops on you,” Jason stated over the phone.“What are you talking about? What do you think I did?” I asked.“I saw you, don’t deny it. And, if you’d do it to me, who else would you do it to? And what else do you do?” Jason went on.“You saw me do what? I haven’t been with you in days.”“You know. I saw you peeking in my window and as soon as Puppy started barking, you took off.”“Jason, you’re hallucinating. You live on the third floor. I don’t have a ladder that long.”“I’m not sure how you do it, but I saw you.“And I ...
Weekly Contest #335
“Who are you?” Taken aback by the stranger in my shared office, I was a bit brusque.“I’m Lily Smith; you must be John Smith. I started last week while you were still in Bali. I guess we’re office mates. I’m looking forward to working with you; I’m sure you’ll like my ways. I heard about you before I even came here.”“Cool! Funny, no relation, I’m sure. I didn’t mean to sound rude; I was just surprised. I’ve been in this office by myself for a few months and didn’t expect anyone. And thanks.“So, how are you? How’s the job so far? And...
Weekly Contest #332
Ellen and I moved to this subdivision somewhat more than a few years ago. It’s been long enough that we’ve seen families come, kids grow, families move away. Except our neighbors just to the south of us. That would be Elmer and Janine. Elmer and Janine became great friends of ours over time. Childless like us, we’d spend most Friday evenings barbecuing and playing gin rummy for pennies. Occasionally, we’d go camping up in the mountains across the valley together just for something to break up the routine. It gave Elmer and me an opportu...
Weekly Contest #331
“What’s this? Hey, Linda, look at this!” Smack dab in the middle of our footpath in the middle of our fifty acres, sat an anvil.“Wow, where do you think it came from?” she queried.“Honey, I don’t know. Maybe someone dropped it out of a plane or one of those choppers that skim way too low in the middle of the night.”“That’s nuts!” she retorted. “How could it land from that height and not leave a dent in the dirt? Remember gravity and the mass of objects and impact sites and all that engineering stuff? You’re still supposed to be an engi...
Weekly Contest #326
“What evil wrought thee?” Short, to the point, far from sweet, the question hung over the courtroom lifetimes ago.She couldn’t respond because the good people of town gagged her to prevent her utterances cursing anyone else.Her words only foretold events so people could prepare; they did not cause the troubles.No explanation convinced them. Thus, the trial.They tried to execute her, but nothing took. Fire, water, hemp; poison just made her choke and break out in hives. Drawing and quartering works only when a blade penetrates skin; swor...
Weekly Contest #322
“Mom and I are down at the hall setting up for the meal and fellowship after the burial. She saw the flower van coming up the hill to the church and I came up as fast as I could. I’m too late; I saw the van drive away just as I came around the corner of the church.” “No worries. The guy dropped off a bouquet and took off. It’s the one on the left of the altar. If you want to see it, you can come on up to the altar.” “Great, thanks! I need to get this stuff into the sacristy anyway.” She had several bags of unidentifiable shapes that m...
Weekly Contest #310
I’m ecstatic! The Rahway Book Club selection committee invited me to read at their June meeting. Me, Chuck Tompkins, a newly published poet. Who knew? The four ladies of the selection committee are the pillars of the Jersey artsy-fartsy community. Everyone defers to them. Everyone seeks them out for their approval and possible acceptance into their circle. As sycophantic as the next wannabe successful artist, I’m no exception. After their invitation, my excitement kept me awake for days! My career is about to be made. The critical wor...
Weekly Contest #298
I had to tell him, “Yes, I am a holy man. These are sacred accoutrements of my calling.” Mr. Security queried, “What makes you think your hat and twenty pounds of incense are sacred? How will that stuff keep you safe on an international flight?” “Good questions, Sir. The hat wards off evil spirits from above and warns them that any attack on me will result in their complete annihilation. The incense flows to heaven and alerts the gods that I am near and ready for their communication and blessings. “All this incense is like shouting to th...
Weekly Contest #297
“Give me a minute.” Death here: What does that mean, give me a minute? I can’t give you a minute; I can’t even give you a second or another day or any other measure of time. I can give you a heartbeat, but not as a measure of time. More accurately, I can fail to take a heartbeat from you which is tantamount to giving you a heartbeat or several depending on the number of beats I choose to allow your heart to beat. You tell me you want to live a spot longer, a minute or some other inane measure of time. For me, time is present. No, I don’t...
Weekly Contest #289
Bob was the leadman for his factory work team. He and the team were all noisy and drinking a tad too much around their favorite four-top at the pub that evening. They were hooting it up about some silly new guy at work who always wanted to follow every rule. Bob and his team had been doing this work for years and knew which shortcuts to take to get the job done easier and not get hurt.As far as they were concerned, this guy came from another planet. He whined on and on about how they should follow the rules or they could ...
Weekly Contest #285
“Hey, Joe, do you remember that time you said you shot your old lady down by the river?” “No, Bubba, I don’t remember anything like that! And if I did, I sure wouldn’t go around bragging about it. That’s sick, man. What makes you say such a thing?” “I don’t know. I remember Jimi mentioned something about how you had a gun and some other craziness. How you had a gun and that you were going down to the river to shoot your old lady and then you came back and told him you shot her. You know how he used to make up al...
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