A few years ago, one thought kept returning to me: I need to help others get out. I had lived through enormous pain and confusion in my relationships, and I wanted to turn that experience — and my healing journey — into a life-saving escape hatch for others.
That thought became The Sparkle Trap: a nonfiction book about recognizing, escaping, and healing from narcissistic abuse in the LGBTQ+ community. Since publication, it has won the 2026 IndieReader Discovery Award for Nonfiction, and become the kind of resource I previously only dreamed it could be.
This is the story of how it came to life — and how the right team helped me shape it into a book that could truly help other people.
From the stage to the page
I studied the arts for most of my life: first music, then at RESAD, the Royal Higher College of Dramatic Art in Madrid, one of the most prestigious performing arts schools in Europe.
But even once I started there as a performer — an undeniable professional success — I remained deep in depression, surviving on breadcrumbs of love. I couldn’t understand why I kept ending up with manipulative partners, and my self-esteem sank lower and lower.
Along the way, I wrote and published a theatrical play about "eroded love" 一 the way love can gradually transform into something painful, and yet we stay in it. Looking back, I see now that I didn’t fully understand what I was living through. It took me years to admit to myself that I was in a perverse, abusive relationship — let alone find the strength to leave it and learn what healthy love looked like.
So when I finally sat down to write The Sparkle Trap, I didn’t just want to tell my story; I wanted to give readers practical tools to understand their stories, too. Drawing on neuroscience, psychology, and my work as a coach and hypnotherapist, I set out to explore how abusive relationships become addictive traps — while also offering clear steps to help readers recognize manipulation, acknowledge toxic dynamics, and find a way out.
Self-publishing my way to success
Because the book tackles a rarely discussed subject in a unique — sometimes provocative — way, I assumed finding a traditional publisher would be difficult… and that the process would slow everything down. At that moment in my life, self-publishing felt more intimate and simply right. It allowed me to keep the book close, and keep it mine.
I also wanted to write the book in English, my second language. As a Spaniard living in San Francisco, that cultural and linguistic tension gave the book a singular voice, but it also came with challenges. My grammar could be messy at times, my punctuation didn’t always follow English conventions, and I could be very direct on the page — more so than native English speakers, it seemed. I felt a bit lost.
When I asked other authors on social media for advice, I kept hearing the same answer over and over: go to Reedsy. So I did. Suddenly, I could connect with a whole range of editors in one place, and that alone was an enormous relief.
An editor who checked all my boxes
I knew I needed an editor from the US, or Canada, with a deep understanding of this delicate topic — someone who could preserve my voice while keeping my bluntness under control.
When I saw Gillian Rodgerson’s profile, I noticed she had real-world experience editing LGBTQ+ books, which was exactly what I was looking for. I loved her sample edit. Then we had a video call, and I just knew: she got me. I’d considered several other excellent editors, but I wanted a woman’s perspective alongside me through the process. Gillian was perfect.
Working with her took the manuscript to another level. She handled the most sensitive parts of the book with incredible care, reduced repetition, and refined the language — protecting my voice all the while.
Again, The Sparkle Trap blends science, coaching, and storytelling: an unusual blend of methods and tones. Gillian managed this medley with utter professionalism, while still maintaining the warmth in which the book is wrapped. Even after publication, she’s stayed close, answering questions and supporting me as new projects take shape.
Bringing the book’s takeaways to life
After three full revisions and proofreading, I didn’t want poor interior design to undermine the work. To accommodate my methodology, I needed the book to have special — and admittedly, often complex — formatting: QR codes, written exercises, dialogues, scriptwriting elements, graphics, and more.
Through Reedsy, I found Megan Sheer, who had over a decade of dynamic interior design experience. The project resonated with her immediately, and she turned out to be both deeply knowledgeable and incredibly patient. After the initial formatting, I still needed several adjustments, and Megan was always there to assist. I now rely on her for my new formatting adventures too.
And my marketing sherpa
Lastly, to help the book find its audience, I also connected with marketer Chris Brandt. I knew nothing about marketing, and I needed a clear plan I could follow on my own — which is exactly what he gave me. In the same vein as Gillian and Megan, Chris has also continued to support and guide me long after the initial marketing campaign, and is always generous with his time.
I started this project feeling very alone. Now I feel like I have a genuine team: people who know far more than I do about publishing, who root for me, and who make me feel supported. One of my favorite moments was last Christmas, when we all exchanged messages wishing each other well. I feel I’ve found just the right balance of people who take their work seriously while still bringing real heart to each project.
Visibility, recognition, and even awards
I designed this book as a rescue tool. It’s one of very few published books that addresses narcissistic abuse specifically within the LGBTQ+ community. This brings its own challenges for discoverability — yet it also means that getting it into the right hands really matters (arguably more so than other books).
So since my launch, I’ve focused on giving the book the visibility it deserves and positioning it as a go-to resource for my community, while also connecting with mental health professionals who might use it as a complementary support tool in their own work.
That work has led somewhere I never expected: the book won the Overall Nonfiction First Prize at the IndieReader Discovery Awards. I thought it might have a chance in an LGBTQ+ category, but I never imagined winning first place overall in nonfiction.
This was enormously validating, and definitely helped broaden professional awareness around the book. I've also received endorsements from therapists who are actively using and sharing the book with their clients. This fills my heart because that was one of my earliest, most important goals: to create an easy-to-find resource for people trapped in abusive relationships.
Because of both my own journey and the book’s impact, I was invited to speak at the first international congress on narcissistic and emotional abuse in Spanish — "Si mis heridas fueran visibles" — with even more talks on the horizon. And the book is now available in Spanish as Tu Brillo en Vena (a slightly different title in Spanish, which is exciting!); I produced this version with my formatter Megan Sheer and editors from Spain.
What I’d tell other authors
I used to think the hardest part was writing the book, and that everything afterward would be quick and easy. I actually planned to finish my manuscript and move back to Spain straight away. Big mistake! I had no idea about the rounds of editing, proofreading, and revisions that awaited me — essential steps I’ll be far better prepared for next time (and I won't be changing countries in the middle of it again).
The biggest lesson, though, was about choosing the areas in which to invest — even (or especially!) with limited resources. Instead of trying to do everything myself or chasing short-term visibility, I hired amazing professionals and created something solid and high quality: an evergreen resource that could support people over time. It’s tempting to “do it all yourself” these days — but particularly as a new author, there will always be people who know far more than you do. If you delegate to them, your book can have a much bigger impact.
For me, working with this team has been a trust exercise that paid off beautifully. I put my best efforts into it; it deserved the right attention. I knew if the work was done well, the book would find its way to the people who needed it — and now it has.
Follow Daniel de Llano's work on his website and on social media.
