My First and Last Voyage

T.W: Child death, Car accident, Grief / loss of loved ones, Afterlife themes, Death

I believed I heard sobbing before I closed my eyes. I woke up on a plane, next to a nice looking old lady. She smiled grimly, while I smiled back with all my teeth out.

It was my first time on a plane, and though I did not know where we were going, I was simply happy.

I stood to search for my parents but they were nowhere to be seen. This should have been the gift they were so fondly talking about. I hope I am going somewhere where I can see my granny again.

I sat back, the nice looking old lady eyeing me suspiciously.

“Aren’t you a little young to ride this plane alone ?” She asked me, her voice cracking with little sobs.

“Aren’t you a bit too sad for this trip ?” I asked, in the same stubbornness my parents usually hated.

She seemed very offended and looked away as if I would disappear, acting more childish than myself.

Minutes passed in a silence that would bored even the dead. I wiggled on my seat, unable to find something to ease my hyperactive mind.

In my numerous restless movements, I realized my loyal Star was here. I remembered clearly when my parents gifted her to me. I was barely out of the womb, barely home, when my dad forced this plush in my arms.

She was a simple, worn out girl-like figure with purple hair. She had belonged to my dad long before I was born and now she was my only friend.

“Hello Star.” I said, the smile running into my voice.

“Hey you !” I changed my voice slightly, a higher pitch, mimicking the voice I have crafted for Star years prior.

“Look ! We are finally in the air !” I put her near the little window by my side to show her the clouds passing by.

“Wow ! That is awesome ! Where are we going ?” I made her say with excitement matching mine.

“We are going to the stars…” I heard the nice looking old lady murmur by my side.

“What do you mean ?” I asked, with my enthusiasm unexpectedly growing even more.

“Have you ever looked at the stars ?” She asked me in a voice softer than before.

“Of course ! I love the stars !” I said, standing up to prove a point I did not understand.

“I could have told…” She chuckled lightly but it was somewhat sad. “See, when I was your age, my grand-father used to tell me that the stars were lost souls, waiting for their loved ones. I think we are going there to wait for people.”

“Great ! I could wait for my parents while playing all sorts of games !” I nearly screamed at the top of my voice, unable to control the continuous flow of happy feelings emerging in me.

“Yeah…” She sighed and looked away once more, tears rolling down her rosy cheeks.

“And you ? Who would you be waiting for ?” I asked in the same loud and high voice.

“I… My husband…” She said, while starting to play with a ring similar to the one my mother wore every day.

“Oh ! He should be a great man for gifting you this plane ride !” I nearly yelled while jumping up and down, unable to shake off my excess energy.

She looked at me with awe and I heard many voices around us voicing their grievances. I looked around, and strangely enough, I could see that the plane got a lot more people on it.

Feeling somewhat ashamed, I sat back down. I wanted to talk to Star again but I felt like it would cause more trouble.

So, I chose to kick the seat in front me. I did not know if there was someone in it or not, I just could not contain the kicks, they came in a rhythm that soothed me.

I thought of my parents and how grateful I was to be on this plane. We were so poor that most of my clothes were filled with holes and my stomach often growled hungrily. Yet, my parents never failed to make me feel love and today is the same. They have saved up enough money for me and I could not be more grateful.

I was smiling to myself, my kicks grew rarer, but the annoyance of the old lady next to me grew wider.

“Could you stop that ?” She asked in a reprimanding tone.

“No.” I said, continuing to kick the seat.

“Do you realize that the girl in front would like some peace ?” The old lady asked through gritted teeth.

“That is okay… I used to have little brothers, I am kind of fond of this type of behavior.” I heard the softest voice say in the seat in front of me.

“It is not because you are used to it that you should tolerate it.” The old lady said, her voice growing angrier.

“Let it be… It soothes me…” The girl in front said in an almost whisper.

“See, I can continue !” I said, sticking my tongue out to the old lady and continuing to kick.

“If you were my child, I would have already slapped you hard enough to kill all your joy.” The old lady snapped at me.

“You are really mean ! I thought you would be as nice as you look !” I screamed at her.

She looked even more offended than before. She stood up and found another seat, far from me.

“Star, could you imagine a man who would love such a vile person ?” I whispered in the ear of Star, making sure no one could hear me.

“He should be ugly looking.” I whispered to myself, in the voice of Star. “He was already sad and unloved so he settled for a witch in disguise.”

The next few moments, I spent them fighting the separating arm in between my seat and the seat the old lady occupied. When I was finally able to move it, I put my feet up and looked outside.

The clouds were moving steadily, the air seemed still and the plane looked static. I wondered if a plane could get stuck in traffic. With my parents, we used to get stuck in traffic every morning and afternoon. We had a game to avoid boredom. One of us would hum a song and the others would need to guess its name. I sucked at it. My parents were musicians so they knew all the songs ever written. I just really enjoyed watching them break into singing. They looked so happy.

I could not tell when, but I drifted into a deep slumber. It felt like I needed it, but my dreams turned into a nightmare too quickly. We were in the car, playing our game, my parents singing happily. And then came screams and a loud crash and a long wail and blue and red light flashing…

“Rise and shine, little one.”

The voice I heard was one I knew all too well.

“Grand ma ?” I said, groggy from the agitated sleep.

“Yes…” She said in a voice filled with contentment.

“Were you on the plane too ?” I asked, slowly taking in the different voices whispering around us.

“No… I was waiting here for you.” She said, a bit of sadness pouring in her light tone.

“Are we in the stars ?” I asked, holding Star's arm tighter than ever.

“Yes.”