Side A: When the World Quit and Died

Dear Diary, 

Today is December 29th, 1999. Christmas was a few days ago and it was absolutely perfect! Right at seven I bounced out of bed and shook my older sister, Amy awake. Amy is twenty and thinks she is too cool to be excited about Christmas, so she shoved me away and told me to wait a few more hours. I’m scared that one day that will be me, that I’ll be too old to be excited about fun things like Christmas and gifts, and going caroling with Mom and Dad. But right now, I am fourteen and childlike excitement seems to still ooze out of me. After screeching my name over and over, “Tabitha, go away!”, “Tabitha stop being a baby!”Amy finally let me drag her out of bed and into the living room where mom and dad sat with their matching robes and mugs full of coffee. I excitedly pulled her down onto the carpet and shoved a gift into her hands as I shook with glee. I saved my allowance for forever to get her this, and I just knew Amy would love it!

“Wow, Tabitha! This is really neat, thanks!” Amy beamed as she held up the hot pink bedazzled walkman so that our parents could see it. This Christmas was one of the best ones we’ve had! I got some cool glittery nail polish, a fluffy pen, some clothes and books, and best of all, this journal! It even has a lock on it so no nosy sisters or parents can snoop in on my private thoughts and feelings! Everyday from now on, I’m going to try my best to write in this diary! That will be my new year's resolution for 2000. Gosh, that’s so crazy to say isn’t it? It’s so cool to think I’m going to experience a whole new millenium. Funny enough though, I heard some rumor about something called the Y2k bug where all of our computers are going to crash and it’s going to screw the world up? It sounds pretty fake to me, especially since I heard it from our shut-in next door neighbor Joel. All he ever talks about is when aliens are going to invade and capture us, so he’s not exactly a reputable source. Anyway, I promised Mom that I would go and volunteer at the hospital with her for the next few days, so I should go to bed. 

Sincerely, 

Tabitha Greene

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Dear Diary, 

Today is December 30th, 1999! Volunteering at the hospital with Mom has actually been pretty fun! I’ve met a lot of cool people while delivering charts and running various errands like refilling water cups and fetching blankets. On the third floor I met a girl who is just a year younger than me, her name is Amanda and we like all of the same things! She’s here for some lung disease, but she says that she’ll be better soon, and I believe her. She doesn’t look like a sick person to me so that must mean that she’s basically all better. Tomorrow I’m going to bring in my new nail polish and do her nails. It must be so sad having to be in the hospital on New Year’s Eve. Amanda’s Mom and Dad have to work a lot so that they can pay her hospital bills. Today I lied on the foot of Amanda’s bed, reading a story called The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The book had come out just this year in February and I had read it before but Amanda hadn’t, so I offered to read it aloud. After a couple hours and a few breaks in which nurses came and checked on Amanda’s vitals, she suddenly interrupted me in the middle of a chapter. 

“I think I’m a lot like that, you know?”

“Like what?”

“A Wallflower. Even before I got sick, nobody really noticed me at school . I kind of kept to myself and did my own thing, and it worked for me. But I was lonely, I’ll admit. I always thought to myself that I had all the time in the world to do what I wanted, to be who I wanted. That I had time to change and grow and to see everything and learn everything so it was okay to let life pass me by, just for a little while at least. But then I got sick, and I got sick fast. For a little bit I thought I was going to die, and I never would have gotten to do anything with my life.”

“Amanda…” I said softly sitting the book down on the bed. She turned her head to the window and gazed out of it without meeting my eyes.

“But I’m better now. I’m getting discharged soon, and things are going to be different. When I walk back into school, I swear from now on I’ll look everyone in the eye. I’ll be brave. I’ve learned life is too short not to be.” 

She turned her head back towards me and her eyes seemed to convey that she was much older than she was. I smiled at her, 

“I believe it. I believe you can and will be brave too.”

As I’m writing this right now, looking out into the pitch dark night from my bedroom window, I can’t help but think about meeting Amanda today and what she said. I think I want to be a nurse or maybe even a doctor. I think it would be incredible to save someone and give them another chance to start over at life. Tomorrow, New Year’s Eve I’m going to bring back the book and read to Amanda again. And I’ll do it every day after until she get discharged. Well, for now I’m going to stop writing and go to bed

Sincerely, 

Tabitha Greene

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Dear Diary, 

He was right. Joel was right. The world is burning and it will never be the same. I will never be the same. If I survive past this dreadful moment, I don’t know how I can just keep on living, accepting what has happened. I can’t. I won’t. Today is January 1st of the year 2000, and the world has gone to hell. It all started about fifteen hours ago, New Year’s Eve. I was excited. I was happy. Mom and I made tons of apple cider to bring to the hospital to celebrate the new year. We brought a bunch of plastic cups from home to hand out to everyone, but with me I also had two fancy champagne glasses with a gold trim. I planned for Amanda and I to drink apple cider out of them and to toast at midnight, to the new year and to her brave and beautiful new life soon to come. We spent all day making that cider. Amy helped for a little bit but then she left to go to the mall with some friends, and Dad had been called into a work emergency so it was just us. By the time we were done, it was about ten o’clock. Mom and I loaded everything into the car and headed to the hospital, but because it was New Year’s Eve and everyone was shuffling between parties, the roads were packed with cars, forcing Mom and I to sit in traffic for more than an hour. I was absolutely bored out of my mind, and with each ticking minute I became more anxious that we wouldn’t make it to the hospital before midnight. But finally, things got moving and around 11:40 we finally made it to the hospital. All I could think about was Amanda having to spend the moment we entered 2000 alone, so once Mom parked I leaped out of the car and was prepared to dash inside. But Mom caught me by the arm first. 

“Tabitha, help me with the cider, I can’t carry it all by myself.” 

Wasting no precious time to grumble, I helped Mom pick up the containers of cider and carry them to the front desk. I quickly poured some cider into the glasses and checked my watch. 11:45. I still had just a bit of time to make it up to the third floor. I raced across the first floor of the hospital to where the elevators where, careful not to spill a drop of the cider. 11:47. Of course the elevator I got was the one that was a bit slow. As it noisily started ascending, I kept looking at my watch as the minutes passed by. 11:58. 11:59. Midnight. Before I had even a moment to feel guilty I didn’t make it in time, the elevator started shaking violently before it came to a screeching stop. The lights blacked out and in the chaos I had accidently dropped the beautiful champagne glasses, they broke and shattered on the elevator floor, and shards flew in every direction, with some cutting my leg. Blood began dripping down my shins but in the moment, I was too frightened to wince in pain. 

“Help! Help! I’m Stuck!” I pounded on the door. Just as I raised my fist once again, prepared to strike the elevator door once more, I stopped mid bang. A loud shriek was ringing out in the hospital, high and pitchy. Then came another scream, this time low and raspy. And then there was another. And another. Slowly, I slinked back down onto the floor still covered in glass shards, hugging my knees to my chest, squeezing my eyes shut so that tears couldn’t escape. It felt like hours that I was sitting on that floor. My mind rushed with ideas, wondering what in the world could be happening. A light suddenly started to illuminate and I looked up to see a tall man in a uniform carrying a flashlight. He pulled me to my feet, asking if I was alright. All I could do was stare at him. He sighed and wrapped a blanket around me. Gently grabbing my arm, he tried to force me forward but then I came to my senses. Amanda. She must be so scared right now too. The movement of my body then seemed to unlock, as I shrugged the blanket off of my shoulders, and shoved it at the uniformed man. I began to sprint down the hall with big glass windows. That’s when the hold building started to shake. The glass windows shatter and I fell to the ground, covering my face and head from the shards, getting my arms cut up in the process. My ears were ringing violently and my vision blurred as I peered out where the window used to, trying to figure out what was happening. That’s when I saw it. A few miles off a huge plane sat in the nearby park, engulfed in flames. I swallowed back tears as I lifted myself up from the ground. What in the world is happening? I began to run again but at a slower, half-limping pace. A few people ran past me as I made my way across the third floor. Finally I made it to Amanda’s hospital room. The door was wide open and I peeked my head open. A gang of doctors gathered around Amanda’s bed, moving frantically. 

“Alright, Clear!”

One nurse shouted, pressing a defibrillator to Amanda’s chest. Silence. 

“Again!” she shouted. Still nothing. 

“...Time of death 12:16 a.m” 

I fell to my knees and sobbed. This doesn’t make sense. It’s not fair. She was fine, She was healthy, I saw her just yesterday. She was excited. She was going to go home. But now she’s dead. The Nurse with the defibrillator noticed me and rushed to cradle me in her arms. 

“What-What-happened?”

“She got sick again after you left. We had to put her on a ventilator. But… the hospital grid lost power. And the ventilator failed. We tried, sweetie, nothing could be done.”

 Everything was a blur after that. At some point I met up with Mom and she hugged me tight but I couldn’t even bear to lift my arms up and hug her back. We were stuck at the hospital for a while and I sat in the waiting room for hours as men, women, and children were constantly being rushed through the doors on stretchers. Eventually we were able to get home, and I went up to my room and sat for a while staring at my desk. Staring at this journal. I didn’t want to write today. But a part of me feels like I have to. While everything is still fresh and imprinted into my mind. I thought of Amanda and the life she was supposed to have. The life all of those injured people and the patients in the hospital were supposed to have. The life I was supposed to have. So I’m writing. Because I won’t forget. Not ever. 

Sincerely,

Tabitha Greene.