Bound By The Page

I knew it came with a cost, everything does.

Graduation was only a few weeks ago. It’s strange the anxiety I had over not knowing my future felt irrelevant. I had pain relishing inside me.

I sat on the steps of my grandparents’ cabin. Letting the sun grace my face one last time. The warm glow calmed me. The sun’s light reflecting off the glistening water. Boats and jet skis still splashing along the calming water, rippling that beautiful water.

“Hey,” Lance said. I glanced up at his lifeless eyes. “Roxie, you can’t do this,” I shrugged. “Why are all the women I know stubborn?” he asked, pushing his shaggy black hair back.

I bit the corner of my chapped lip. “Stubborn or willing?”

“I don’t get it,” he said, slumping on the step next to me. “Why not pass it off to someone else?”

I rested my head against his arm. It smelt of coconut sun lotion and mothballs. “It’s my mistake,” I waved my shedding arm. “I am the one who found it,”

“I wish you could have listened to me,” he grumbled. “Why could you remember her?”

My eyes focused on the sun setting in the mist of twilight. “I don’t know,”

“This is crazy,” he said.

I fiddled with my thinning fingers. “I’m going to burn and the curse is done,” I laughed. “Everything we wrote came true,” I shook my head. “I guess because I found the book,”

“The wish book that leads to nothing but chaos?” he sighed, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I winced. Everything hurts. Who could have predicted I would become the very thing that granted my heart’s desires? “I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t know what to do.”

I kissed him on the cheek and pressed my hand against the smudges of ink I left behind. “It’s going to be fine,” I laughed. “Look on the bright side, I won’t have to pay back those student loans.” A thought that had been lurking over me since I applied for them four years ago.

His eyes diverted from my view as the sky grew darker. “I never wanted anyone else to get hurt,”

“Don’t worry about me,” I said, interlocking my fingers with his. “Remember you hate me,” my fingers left ink smudges on his. “I guess it’s an imprint,” I faked a smile. Why should anyone’s last moments of me be tainted? I stood up and my back cracked. I tried not to scream as he shot up. “I’m fine,” I lied.

Death isn’t something I thought I faced until I was old and gray. I tore a piece of paper from my body and handed it to him. It felt like I picked at a scab I wasn’t supposed to. But I guess it’s different, there’s no healing. I always wanted my life to be magical. I never thought it meant turning into a wish book. I let go of his hand and trudged through the tall blades of grass I was supposed to mow.

My sister Nat looked up from the fire she had set. My friends Vanessa and Ted grimaced at the sight of the flames shooting high into the sky. It’s strange for the past few weeks, we were living our craziest desires, and now we’re at my funeral. There is no point in arguing. I hugged her and squeezed her tightly. Wondering would I be remembered? Her tears burnt, shooting through me like bullets. I try not to winced or squirmed.

“Wait!” Lance said, running and tripping over his open-toe sandals. I hated them when we met, but now I found them endearing. He held the piece of paper high in the air. “Roxie, remember I love you!” he said, waving a pen.

“What does that mean?” Vanessa asked, side-eyeing me. “Remember when they hated each other?” she whispered. Ted nodded and rolled his eyes. “Wait, what’s he doing?”

“No, Lance!” I said, with sudden realization. He wrote on the paper, and my skin burned. I couldn’t do anything but scream. I lost all my strength and collapsed to the cold, wet ground. My voice fading away, the flames’ warmth became stronger. Nat rushed to me, and picked me off the ground. We turned our heads. Lance stood in the pit, flames engulfing his body with a smile. “Remember Roxie,” he smiled. I sat up and the pain subsided. I pressed my fingers against each other and they were returning to their regular fleshy...thick self? I wiped the tears away as the ashes rose further into the dark, clear night sky.

Nat hugged me. “I’m glad you’re alive,”

My friends joined in on the hug, toppling me to the moist ground. I should be grateful, but the ashes kept getting higher and higher. What made me worthy of sacrifice? I didn’t know if they were tears of joy or despair streaming down my puffy cheeks. I managed to sit up and wiped the tears away.

Nat handed me a spear with a marshmallow. “At least you had the greatest summer romance,”

“Your ex was great,” Ted rolled his eyes, giving me a hand up. “Come on, you can’t sit and wallow,”

My eyes watered, and my lips trembled. “I didn’t want anyone to die,”

“That boy was suicidal the moment you met,” Vanessa scoffed, zipping up her hoodie. “I’m glad you’re alive,”

I sighed. “You think anyone would ever believe us?”

“You think anyone remembers him?” Nat asked, her breathing heavy and shallow.

Ted sprayed lighter fluid on the flames, and they rose higher, almost hitting a tree branch. “We remember,”

“I’ll remember this as the greatest summer,” Vanessa said, tapping a spot next to her by the fire. “Ted, if you keep it up, you’re going to burn the place down,”

Ted dropped the bottle and swiped a bag of marshmallows. “Roxie, we’re glad you’re here, but no one is going to believe us,”

“That we stayed off social media and modern technology?” I asked, trying to change the subject. “Because no one is going to believe that,”

***

The last day of my vacation. I walked into that consignment shop. The one where I had encountered him. Where he infuriated me. His show-off smile, his quick remarks, his freckles on his nose. All gone, and the worse if no one remembers him but us. The smell of mothballs is strong, but it’s lacking his signature overbearing sunscreen.

I picked up the familiar book from the shelf. I opened it and skimmed through and my heart sank.

“Roxie, I love you. But you know what you have to do,”