I Hope I Never "See You Later"

TW : Suicide

Hey Mom. Hey Dad. I guess this is hello. And goodbye. You guys always hated me, so this probably won't be much of a heartbreaking page to read. I've been thinking really hard about this choice, and I think I'm ready to part with this world. It's given me its share; I've given it mine. There isn't much left for me to stay for, and I'm ready to explore somewhere new. Before that, though, I would like to say that a while after you exiled me from your "humble" abode, I met someone. (Though I believe you already know this.)

Her name was Annie. Her smile was warm. She had dimples. Black hair, all the way down her back. I wish I could hear her voice. Just once. Something that I could replay in my head when she wasn't around, like now when I'm writing about her. When she wasn't there, I made up millions of scenarios of me with her. When I was face to face with her, I was at a loss of words. You see, being deaf has a lot of thinking to it. My mind wanders a lot, so that's why I never did so good in school. I met her there, in highschool. She didn't know I couldn't hear because her mouth moved faster than a bullet. I had raised my eyebrows, pointed to my ears, and shook my head. Her face changed just as fast. It twisted into something like guilt and sorry. She had reached for a paper and searched for something. A pencil. I pulled one out, handed it to her, and she said something like thanks. Her handwriting was neat and organized. I was gonna ask for a pencil, but I guess that was stupid because I had to write it out to ask you anyway. But thanks :)

Now we have parted after months of talking that I wish had gone slower so I could live it a little longer. It wasn't a quick or long text that broke our relationship apart like a bottle smashed to the concrete. It was a tide rolling in, slowly receding, taking her away from me. She was getting sick, and I knew. She told me about it, but she had said not to worry. I had worried, but I don't think I had worried enough. When the tide finally receded, I had so much regret. Too much regret. I should've known. Hope you feel better. See you tomorrow!

She didn't feel better. She never did. I said it more as a prayer as the days went on. The clouds answered in thunder and rain, pouring on my already heavy heart. My river of tears sweeping me away from everything as I forgot why I was even trying anymore. My vision had blurred, my mind drowning in the emotions I could barely keep up with. The waves of sadness and regret got stronger and faster, and all I wanted to do was cry and scream and hit something and hug her and see her smile one last time.

I wish I said goodbye.

See you later wasn't enough.

So now, I would like to see her again. Wherever she is, I will find her. She's waiting for me. I can feel it. If you read all the way to here, I'm proud of you. Even if you two never loved me, you're still my parents. So now, I say goodbye to you too. And to be brutally honest, I hope I never "see you later."

---

Frank sat back in his chair, shaking out his hand. He didn't realize how tense his hand had become while he was clutching his pen. His knuckles were white. There were wet blotches on the paper which he tried feverishly to wipe away before it smeared the ink. His eyes were red and watery. Why didn't he have the nerve to write the last part? He could get back at them with this. Give them a little guilt to live with the rest of their lives while he lived happily with Annie. He needed this revenge. Or did he want to rot in the dirt with regret? That's dumb, he thought. I don't have any feelings or thoughts when worms are eating me inside and out. He clutched his head in frustration. He knew. He knew. He knew.

They poisoned her.

So why couldn't he bring his pen to the surface of the paper? They hated him so much that they had the nerve to poison the only person he truly loved, the only person that really saw him. He should do her some justice. He thought about how she was probably looking down at him right now, wondering what he would do. If he showed revenge to his parents, would he be a hateful and terrible person, or would he be doing what's right? After a few minutes of deep thinking, he scratched out "you're still my parents" and picked up the gun. His other hand held the paper and pen. He went to the front door, turned the rusted knob, and looked out to the golden light that reflected off his face and the open grass field that she once loved so much. He smiled solemnly, thinking about how his last sight of this world would be her favorite place and his favorite time of day. The last of his tears rolled quietly down his face, glimmering in the light as he put the gun to his head. He then pulled the trigger, sending birds flying in all directions and little animals scurrying into their little homes.

But he did all of this not before he wrote five short words.

I know what you did.

...

The golden light slowly faded into a grey blue sky as the sun waved goodbye, and the moon shimmered a soft white glow. The color of red and blue lights were just arriving at the quiet meadow as a quiet wind blew through tall blades of grass. Empty eyes stared vacantly into the vast coming night sky, as if searching for a special star. The last of a tear drop fell to the earth.

....

(authors note : this was written just for kicks, I've never written a short story before so hopefully over time when I'm bored it'll become one in many! 😚 hope you enjoyed a random read!!)