The Weight of Ignorance

There was knocking at the door. A terrible, thunderous pounding that shook both the hinges and the frame. Lisa ignored it with a tired smile. It would stop soon enough. It always did when she kept busy.

Water splashed out of the sink as she dropped another dirty plate into the bubbles. She stood in the small kitchenette, barely enough space to fit the two person apartment. The polished marble counter tops stood in contrast to the nearby living room’s stained carpet. Lisa was okay with that. Her brother could do what he wanted with the other rooms, but the kitchen was hers – spotless, controlled, safe.

The front door swung open, and a familiar voice filled the room.

“Morning Lis.”

Lisa turned, wiping her hands across her jeans and leaving dark water stains behind. Max was already on a stool at the island, and she moved the dirty dishes away from him. “James is still in the shower, so just ignore the mess. He left his plates out again.” She scrubbed at dried egg and bacon hardened onto the plate.

Max watched Lisa scrubbing harshly at the clean plate. He ignored it. “You know, you should really lock your door.”

Lisa snorted. “That’s what James keeps telling me.”

“Smart guy.” The conversation flowed with practiced ease, everything a routine. She heard the pipes rattle faintly in the walls from the running shower — a sound Max never seemed to hear. Instead, he simply unpacked the tupperware containers from his bag. Perks of having a chef for a friend. “So,” there was a softness in his voice that she had grown used to. “How’s it been lately?”

She stopped scrubbing the dish, frothy bubbles clinging to her wrists. “Quieter,” she finally said after consideration. “Mostly.”

“Good. That’s good.” Max smiled. It was genuine. He moved to open the fridge, ignoring the barren shelves to gauge Lisa’s reaction from the corner of his eye. “Anything happening right now I should know about?”

Lisa placed the plate on the drying rack and pulled the sink plug out. The drain groaned as the water swirled away. “No,” she replied curtly. She didn’t want to mention the scratching in the walls. Didn’t point out the white moth feasting on his shirt. Would ignore the way their window reflections didn’t quite match their movements.

Max said nothing. There was nothing to say. He could only dance around the problem as he finished carefully stacking the tupperware containers into the fridge and she wiped the sink edge dry. After closing the fridge, something in the garbage bin caught his attention. A multitude of red stained tissues littered the bin. Blood.

The cloth Lisa was using fell to the floor as Max suddenly spun her to face him, eyes wide and searching. He took each arm, turning them over and scanning them thoroughly. “What are you doing?!”

He moved to analyze her body, searching for something. “Where did the blood come from?” The panic in his voice started to scare Lisa, until she noticed the blood stained tissues Max had left on the counter.

She smiled to herself, raising a hand to placate him. “Don’t worry,” she cooed, “it was just a nose bleed. James got it this morning. You know how sensitive he gets to weather changes.” Max gently gripped Lisa’s face, tilting it to take a look at her nose. She pushed him off with a chuckle. “James, not me.”

Lisa turned to pick up the fallen cloth with a smile, missing how Max’s gaze scanned her far longer than it should have. He didn’t smile. It couldn’t be James’ blood. He knew that. “Right,” he lied, “sorry.”

Lisa jumped suddenly when the bathroom door slammed loudly, as doors usually did when James left a room. “Lis, we’re out of toilet paper-” James stopped as he came around the corner and spotted Max, a cheeky smile spreading across his face. “Well look what the cat dragged in.”

Lisa rolled her eyes. “Leave him alone, James.”

James grinned. “What? I’m just saying — you notice how Max always brings food? Guy’s a chef, and suddenly we’re getting gourmet leftovers every week. Pretty suspicious if you ask me.”

Lisa snorted. “Suspicious? He’s doing me a favor.”

James leaned against the doorframe, smirking. “Yeah, sure. Feeding you into submission.”

Lisa laughed despite herself, shaking her head. “You’re an idiot.” James gasped in mock insult as he wandered towards the living room.

Max didn’t laugh. He didn’t even smile. He just kept watching Lisa, like the joke wasn’t meant for him. “Just ignore him,” she told Max under her breath. “Maybe he’ll leave for work early.”

Max smiled, but there was something sad in his eyes. James moved into the living room and Lisa noticed the wrinkles in his suit. She glanced at his closet and made a mental note to iron his clothes while he was gone. Max’s gaze flicked there too — a closet he hadn’t seen touched in months. “So,” James inquired as he sat, his briefcase thumping against the wooden legs of the ottoman. “Have you warned Max about the sofa yet?”

Lisa groaned, and Max looked around confused. “What?” She seemed to tense up at the question, and hesitantly glanced at the empty sofa.

“Well,” she began, “there’s been a man visiting me these last few weeks. He just sits there.” She gestured to the sofa. “Always in the same spot.” Max looked mildly concerned, so she quickly continued. “You don’t need to worry, James already told me it wasn’t real. That he couldn’t see him.” The sadness in her voice when she added the last part made Max’s heart clench. He ignored it.

“He sounded like an interesting guy though,” James cut in, trying to diffuse the tension. “I mean, if you’re going to hallucinate, at least it’s a badass Russian with an eye-scar.”

“Wait a minute,” Lisa exclaimed. “I don’t know that he’s Russian. He never talks.”

James shrugged. “Yeah, but it’d make for a better story if he was.”

Lisa tried to hide her smile. She didn’t want to encourage James’ antics. Her smile dropped as she noticed Max staring at the empty sofa, his discomfort obvious.

“Hey,” Lisa sounded cautious, putting a hand on Max’s shoulder. He looked back at her, startled. “What’s the matter?” There was a softness in the question, one that Max wasn’t used to. The same tone he used with her so many times before. It caused him to pause.

At that moment, he knew he should tell her. He wanted to. Desperately. Honesty had always been best during her episodes. But she had gotten worse — much worse. He knew it the moment she began speaking to James again, as though he’d never left. As though he hadn’t died two years ago. It was different this time. She believed it. Every time he corrected her, the pain in her eyes was too much to bear. He couldn’t do it anymore. So they had decided to ignore it.

He just glanced at the empty space that Lisa had been speaking to, and smiled. “Yeah,” he said with a confidence he did not feel. “Everything is great.”

A shrill pinging sound cut through the air. Everyone heard it this time. Max scrambled to free his phone from the tight jeans he was wearing. He unlocked the screen with a haste that Lisa thought was disproportionate to the situation. That was until she saw the way his face fell as he read the text from the co-owner of his restaurant.

There’s been a mix up with the order for this week and we’re missing almost half the produce. Get the fuck over here now!

Max rubbed his temple and groaned.

“That doesn’t sound good.” Lisa glared at James when he said this.

There was a pause as Max stood from the stool and started to gather his bag. “Emergency at work. I’m so sorry, I have to go right now.” He glanced at Lisa, and she could see how hesitant he was to leave her alone.

James glanced at the clock on the wall. The broken clock. “Yeah, I have to head out now too.” He smiled at Lisa. “You’ll be okay, right?” Lisa just waved him off.

“I’m fine,” she declared, and she actually meant it. “Go save the day.” Max smiled at her, and he seemed to relax a little at the comment that was not meant for him. She followed behind as they made their way to the front door. The hinges creaked as Max opened it.

“Make sure to lock the door,” James called over his shoulder, and Lisa just waved. She had barely registered what he had said. Instead, she watched as Max stood frozen in the open doorframe. He looked back at Lisa with a look she couldn’t place. Maybe something between concern and guilt — the kind of guilt that came from keeping the dead alive in silence. It was a look he gave her each time he left.

She thought he would say something this time. But, in truth, the things unsaid were too much to handle. So they said nothing.

The silence continued after Max had closed the door behind him and as he waited at the elevator. In the past, James would have bet him 50 dollars that he could beat him to the lobby using the stairs. Max always lost. He didn’t care. Standing there alone, he would give anything to make that bet one more time.

Unfortunately, dead men don’t make bets.

Another text came through the phone, and Max begrudgingly glanced at the screen. This one was more urgent, and had far more expletives throughout. He enjoyed running his own restaurant. He hated owning it.

Max began to draft a response as he heard the elevator reach his floor. The doors shuttered before opening fully. He stepped over the gap and into the box, brushing shoulders with someone exiting. There was no one in sight by the time he looked up, and Max assumed the person had disappeared down the hallway. A chill tightened his chest as the doors closed. He ignored it.

He shouldn’t have.

The floor groaned as a man slowed to a stop in front of Lisa’s apartment door. He brushed off the shoulder of his jacket where Max had bumped him. There was a crooked smile on his face, cold and empty, like a mask. His gloved hand brushed the door handle, lightly pushing down as if testing it. When the door clicked open, the man’s smile somehow grew even wider.

There was no one in the living room. No one in the kitchen. Lisa’s humming masked the door’s closing click. The toilet flushed in the bathroom as the man took his seat on the sofa. The unnerving scar across his eye creased inwards as he smiled.

Lisa should have locked her door.