A Chilling Confession

“It was me. I did it.”

Dan listened carefully for any tell that betrayed Jude’s calm demeanor. A faint quiver or split second of hesitation was all Dan wanted, but Jude’s voice was rock steady. Dan knew the kid was lying, but he wanted to know why. He looked into Jude’s eyes, narrowing them ever so slightly, and Jude stared right back. Dan held off on giving any kind of response to Jude’s alleged confession. People were often so desperate to fill a silence that they would babble, eventually saying too much and hoisting themselves on their own petard. Jude seemed to luxuriate the quiet, leaning back in his seat and making a poor attempt to stifle a yawn.

It was ten past 6 - much too early for Dan’s liking. The sun just started to rise over the mountains, and a bright beam flooded the room, landing as a harsh spotlight on Jude. Dan took a sip of his coffee, feeling inadequately caffeinated for such a confrontation. He usually preferred to hold any interrogations until he finished his second cup, but crime waits for no one’s caffeination desires.

“So, you’re telling me, that you did it?” Dan finally replied.

“Well, yeah. That’s what I just said, isn’t it?”

Even at this early hour, the kid came with attitude and sarcasm. What an obnoxious combination, he thought, working hard to keep his eyes from rolling. Jude was clearly looking to push his buttons, but Dan was unwilling to give him any reaction to his antics.

“Just confirming your confession,” he replied before standing to start a slow pace around the table.

“So, why confess? You weren’t the prime suspect. Why not just stay quiet and see if you could get away with it?” Dan asked.

Jude shrugged, following Dan’s pace with his eyes. “Do the crime, do the time, I guess. Plus, you were looking in the wrong direction. It didn’t seem fair for the wrong person to go down for this.”

“So, you would feel guilty if someone else got punished for something you did?”

“Yeah, obviously.” Jude began picking at the wooden table. Dan made note of this, unsure if it was a manifestation of his guilt for lying or a tactic to keep himself awake. The sleep still crusted in the corner of Jude’s eyes made Dan lean towards the latter.

“But you don’t feel guilty for what you did?”

“I never said that,” Jude replied.

“You didn’t, but you seem unbothered.”

“Not everyone who commits crimes shows remorse,” Jude said.

“So, you feel no remorse for what you did? For how your actions will negatively impact the people around you?” Dan asked.

“I’m just saying that remorse is not a necessary part of a confession. I do feel guilty for my actions, I swear.”

“And I’m just saying, it would make your confession a bit more believable if you showed any inkling of guilt,” Dan replied.

Jude stuck out his bottom lip and softened his eyes. He pointed to his fake pout and asked, “How’s this?”

Dan slapped his hands on the table. “That’s enough!”

Jude didn’t even bat an eyelash at Dan’s outburst. He silently cursed himself for losing his temper, but the kid’s ennui and steely nature felt impossible to break through. He kept circling the table and decided to employ his next tactic.

“Fine. I’ll play along. We can pretend you did it. Did you enjoy it?” Dan asked.

“Did I enjoy…what?”

“Oh, quit. You know what I’m asking. Did you enjoy it? Was it worth it?”

Jude nodded. “Yeah, sure. I enjoyed it.”

“Did taking joy away from others taste sweet? Was ruining someone’s day just utterly delicious?”

Jude offered no real response aside from a shrug. Dan sat back down and took a big gulp of his room temperature coffee. The room, now completely drenched in sunlight, felt stifling and Dan wanted to end this. Maybe he could try a little bargaining.

“Listen - if you fess up to lying, you won’t be in trouble. And maybe, if you tell me who you’re covering for, we can work something out.”

“Oh, come on, Dan. Why are we doing this? Just accept my confession and we can all move on.”

“I’ve told you not to call me that,” Dan said, trying not to raise his voice again. “Show me a little respect.”

Jude raised his hands and said, “Alright, sorry. It won’t happen again, sir.”

He punctuated his sentence with a wry grin, knowing Dan hated when he called him sir almost as much as when he called him Dan.

Dan had one last idea - his Hail Mary - and it was time to use it.

“Alright, I gave you your chance. If you’re going to insist on taking the fall, let’s talk punishment. You’re looking at some serious time. I’m talking 3 minimum, maybe even 4 or 5. Which, if I’m remembering correctly, means you would be spending your birthday stuck in here. That would be a real shame.”

Jude’s eyes widened for just a split second; the first sign Dan may finally be getting somewhere.

“I don’t believe you. There’s no way I get a punishment that harsh for this.”

“I don’t know…it’s pretty serious. And this isn’t your first offense. I’ve had you in the chair opposite me quite a few times.”

Jude sat back in his seat and crossed his arms. Dan could tell he was done talking, but he had one final question to seal the deal and get the admission he’d been looking for.

“Just one more question before I accept your confession. Was it chocolate or vanilla?”

Jude’s face flushed and his brow furrowed. Before he could offer up an answer, the door burst open, just as Dan suspected it would.

“It was me, Dad! I ate Quinn’s ice cream cake, not Jude! Don’t ground him.”

Jude groaned and let his head fall to the table.

“Come on, Ollie. Dad wasn’t actually going to ground me for 3 weeks for this. It would have been a week tops. I would have been free by my birthday. You were going to get away with it.”

Dan couldn’t help but smile as he looked at his wonderfully predictable sons. He knew his older son, Jude, was a vault and fiercely loyal to his siblings, especially his little brother. There was no way Jude was going to fess up to taking the fall for Ollie, the true culprit behind eating their sister’s entire ice cream cake the night before her birthday party. He also knew Ollie, perpetually anxious and nosy, wouldn’t be able to resist listening in the hallway as his big brother took the blame. Mentioning Jude would have to spend his birthday grounded would be too much guilt for Ollie to bear. Asking a question that Jude didn’t know the answer to was just the cherry on top.

“You two weren’t going to get away with it. I saw blue frosting all over Ollie’s face this morning when I peeked in his room. That’s why I went to check on the cake and noticed it was gone. It was only a matter of time before I told you the jig was up. I just wanted to see how long you would last.”

Jude turned to his teary-eyed little brother and shook his head.

“Dude, wash your face after gorging on cake. That’s a rookie mistake,”

“Why were you going to take the fall for Ollie when he was the one who ate the cake?” Dan asked.

“He was freaking out when you started yelling about the cake being gone this morning. He came into my room crying about how you weren’t going to let him go to Quinn’s party today, so I told him I’d say I ate it. Plus, I heard him barfing up the cake this morning. That felt like punishment enough.”

“I suppose that is quite a punishment,” Dan said, noticing that Ollie still looked a little green. “And Ollie, why did you eat the cake we bought for your sister’s birthday party?”

“How am I supposed to stop myself from eating ice cream cake when I know it’s in the house?” Ollie asked with such earnestness that Dan couldn’t stop himself from laughing.

He looked at his sons, a sugar addict full of shame and a loyal brother who lied with a little too much ease.

“How about next time we get an ice cream cake, we keep it a secret from you, so you won’t be tempted?” Dan asked. Ollie nodded and crawled into Dan’s lap, offering an apologetic hug.

Dan squeezed his son and added, “And next time, don’t let your brother take the fall for you. If you’ve done something bad, it’s ok, but you need to face the consequences.”

“I promise,” Ollie whispered into Dan’s chest.

“Now go get dressed you two. Your punishment is coming with me to get another one. We’ve got 50 people coming over in a few hours and your sister will stage a riot if we don’t have her ice cream cake. Plus, you’re both on clean-up duty after the party.”

Ollie and Jude nodded and made their way to the stairs. Before Ollie reached the first step, he turned around with a coy smile on his face and asked, “Can we get the chocolate one this time? The vanilla was pretty good, but I bet the chocolate is great.”