My Life, My Decision

They had an ultimatum: follow their instructions or get out. I decided to go. I’d come to the conclusion that I loved my parents but the painful truth is I didn’t actually like them. Did that make me a bad son, a bad person? My parents predetermined my life for me since the day I was born. They made sure I had everything I needed and sent me to the top finishing schools, but for some reason, none of it was what I really wanted. They never asked me what I saw as my future, they never asked what classes I wanted to take, they made all the decisions based on a goal they decided I needed to meet. That idea still baffles me. Should I have expressed my gratitude more? Should I have just taken the route they suggested? Why did I ever think I could influence the course of my own life?

That final year of high school has been a never-ending battle where I seemed to be living in a state of aimlessness, with them making all the decisions. They chose all the classes they deemed were important for my future. When we discussed the future my view and theirs were completely different. They rejected my request for a gap year. They replied no when I told them I was considering joining the military.When I suggested attending an East Coast institution, they declined. Wasn’t this my life, not theirs. Did I not have a voice in anything?

They applied on my behalf to UCLA, Stanford, Caltech, and UC Berkeley. They ultimately asked me which of these four I wanted after I was admitted into each. You would have thought the world had stopped spinning when I said no to all of them.Mom sobbed, Dad raged, and I walked out. We barely talked for the rest of the school year, but they kept planning, each night at dinner they would fill me in on the updates of my future.To the future they are planning for me. I would sit in total disbelief and listen to their chatter but not really hearing anything.

While everyone slept the night after graduation, I grabbed my belongings, hopped in my car, and headed off. I knew I had to go, I had to escape, I had to embark on this journey into the unknown.I leaped onto the 10 and left the San Gabriel Valley via the San Bernardino Freeway. I drove until I got to Scottsdale. The Hampton Inn & Suites in Scottsdale provided the perfect spot to rest, refuel, and figure out where the hell I was going.

Scottsdale has always been enjoyable to me. My cousins and I visited Hole in the Rock a few years ago and went on a bike trip. We had a great time. But this was one of my parents’ special places to visit, so there was no way I was staying here for any long period. I jumped on US Route 60 and drove on the Superstition Freeway. I traveled through Show Low and Springerville, past Apache Junction and the hilly area of Globe. As I drove, I looked at the arid landscape of the Sonoran Desert and the quiet beauty of the forest. I continued on this route until I arrived in Roswell, New Mexico.

I always wanted to come here as a child; I was so fascinated with everything UFO. My parents on the other hand said this trip would be a waste of time and never brought me here. I unwound and had fun for the next couple of hours, doing everything I ever wanted to do here when I was little. I visited the Roswell Museum, the International UFO Museum and Research Center, and the Roswell UFO Spacewalk to cap off the day. It was enjoyable. It's been a long time since I've enjoyed myself so much. I grabbed a room at the Fairfield by Marriott Inn & Suites and settled in for a good night's sleep.

I proceeded to "The Cowboy Café" for breakfast the following morning while looking over the map to choose my next course of action. It took me a while to learn to use a road map instead of Google map or Waze.It was actually fun to map out where I should go for this journey. I planned this trip very carefully, I left all my credit cards and my phone on the desk next to my bed with a note saying – “It’s my life, not yours” I started withdrawing money from the bank the beginning of my senior year, so I had plenty of money for this trip. I wanted to make sure they couldn’t track me with the cards or the phone, but now that I think about it, they can most likely track me with my car. I decided to ditch the car and take the bus.

I left the car at the hotel and strolled to the Roswell Pecos Trails Transit stop. This was new to me because I had never in my life taken a bus. After catching the Greyhound from Roswell, I bought a ticket to Jacksonville, Florida, at the Amarillo transfer station. This 20-hour trip took me to Jacksonville with a few stops along the way including Fort Worth, Jackson, Mobile, and Tallahassee. I reasoned that since I don't really have a plan, I can simply stop at any of these locations and make it my new home; nothing requires me to travel the entire distance.

I picked up a prepaid Nintendo eShop card, a Nintendo Switch, some food, and a book figuring that should keep me busy for around twenty hours. Just shy of Mobile, Alabama, I awoke. I got off the bus and made the decision not to board it again.This bus ride was mind-numbing, tedious and dreary all at one time. The snoozefest that was the bus was soul-destroying and since I was just waking up from a long slumber, I didn’t need my soul destroyed. I picked up my backpack and headed along Government Boulevard.Walking into an area called the Loop, I found a restaurant called the Dew Drop Inn. I remember a Waltons' episode, where Jason reopened a place called Dew Drop Inn. I just had to try it. I was glad I did, the food was great, the people friendly. I decided I might give Mobile a chance.

According to a buddy, staying at a hostel was an inexpensive option to spend some time in one location. I looked into Mobile's youth hostels and discovered one on the outskirts because I knew the money I had on hand wouldn't last long. I bought a bike and some additional clothing and necessities; I started working as a part-time sales associate at PetSmart and as a dishwasher at the Dew Drop Inn. I was making my own decision on my own life by myself and doing a damn good job of it, if I do say so myself.

After a few months, I was cleaning up at the Dew Drop one evening when a policeman came up to me.I fit the description, he said, and he was looking into a missing person complaint. I explained to him that I wasn't missing; rather, I chose to make my own decisions because I disagreed with my parents. I was simply living my life as I saw fit; I wasn't breaking any laws.

After several hours of talking, he said he would close the missing person’s report and let my parents know that I was doing well. I thanked him and left. But I knew my parents, and they wouldn’t let this rest. I knew they would do something to make me go back, and I had no desire to return to that life. I was doing okay on my own; I had a place to live, transportation, and a job. I was living my life the way I wanted to, and to hell with them. But this place was comprised, and I knew I couldn’t stay any longer.

I sold my bike, resigned my jobs, emptied my bank account, left the hostel, purchased a little Toyota Tacoma, and drove north the following morning. Here I go, once more on the road, looking for a place to call home.Jacksonville was my original intended destination, so I was going to check it out. In Jacksonville, I made a stop at the Sandollar Restaurant to eat and consider my next course of action.

While I was dining, I saw a lot of people in uniform. After doing some research, I discovered that Jacksonville was home to both the Naval Station Mayport and the Naval Air Station Jacksonville. In addition, Fort Stewart and Hunter Army Airfield were only a few hours away in Savannah, Georgia, and A Naval Submarine Base in Kings Bay. At one point, I thought about joining the military, but my parents discouraged me; they said that members of our family did not serve in the military. Perhaps it was time to give it another thought.

A few short weeks later I was saying the Oath of Enlistment and heading off to training. When it came time for graduation, I invited my parents to attend, not sure if they will come or not, but that’s their choice, I’ve made mine.