Me Break Vase

American Fiction Funny

Written in response to: "Center your story around an unexpected criminal or accidental lawbreaker." as part of Comic Relief.

It come down hard and Me not know what doings help vase. Such big beautiful vase. Supreme Elder Ultric hate Mefor break big beautiful vase. Me know. Me try and take vase piece and put other piece on to vase piece but vase not go back to what vase was before. Vase stay broke. Me feel like luck not find Me. Me stuck with bad luck. Like Elder Reemly. Elder Reemly not hurt people. Elder Reemly help people. Elder Reemly help people and every people like Elder Reemly. No people hate Elder Reemly. But Elder Reemly die. He die by large lion from sea. Elder Reemly try find big ice to put on Remick leg when Remick fall out of large tree. Remick fall and Elder Reemly say Remick Me help you with ice. Me go get ice. And Elder Reemly go get ice. But big lion from sea attack. Me and Trolick see large lion from sea attack and scream Elder Reemly hurt by lion from sea. Help all. Trolick and Me even try help Elder Reemly. We both throw spear at lion from sea and it stop for moment but then keep attacking Elder Reemly. When others come and throw spears too, lion from sea go away. People all help Elder Reemly. But some people say Trolick and Mokly, Me Mokly, why you no stop lion from sea from attacking Elder Reemly. You see lion from sea attack and you no help. Me and Trolick shocked and think We throw spear at lion from sea. We try help Elder Reemly and scream for other people to help Elder Reemly. Why we blame for Elder Reemly.

But it no work. Elder Reemly die and Trolick and Me are stupid to people. We walk in village center and all say There two stupid people who let Elder Reemly die. Smartest person now die because Trolick and Mokly not know how to throw spear. They not know how to help Elder Reemly. Elder Reemly die. No more Elder Reemly and good healing.

This hurt Me because when Me young, Elder Reemly help Mokly do things. When Mokly not able to throw spear right Elder Reemly come to Mokly and say It ok. Spear hard. Mokly has spear. Practice spear Mokly. Throw spear like you spear. See like spear and it easy. Try throw spear now. And then spear throw easy.. Elder Reemly give Mokly confidence to throw spear. He give Mokly confident to do all things. Now people think Mokly stupid again like before Elder Reemly help Mokly with spear. Me feel bad.

And now Mokly do another stupid thing by trying to help with vase. Vase now broke. Supreme Elder Ultric now want kill Mokly Me think. Vase most important biggest thing to Supreme Elder Ultric. Supreme Elder Ultric say This Vase most important thing to Me. Me love vase as much as love family. Vase part of family. Me won vase after tribal games against big rival Elder Broive. Vase big pride to Me. To all tribe. Therefore vase now one of most important thing to tribe. No one harm or touch vase.

But now here Me with broken vase. Try put vase back by touch piece again but no go back. Me swear reason Metouch vase important. Me see Elder Broive come into village. This odd. Elder Broive only come to village during game or war time but Me not hear of game or war time. Me only see Elder Broive with two other chief and Me think not good news see Elder Broive. Me see him when Me go take sheep out to graze. Me graze sheep and Me see Elder Broive. Me know because Elder Broive wear big yellow cape like big sun but rectangle and not circle. Me think weird why Elder Broive here so Me take sheep back and go to guard post in village. Me say Me see Elder Broive on edge of town. He here. But guard laugh and say Me know what Mokly try to do. Mokly want to be hero after Elder Reemly incident. Me not stupid Mokly. Stop be stupid Mokly and start be smart Mokly. But Me think that impossible hahahaha. He laugh long time at own joke. Mokly try to stop him and say No Elder Brovie here. Me think he want to do sneaky thing and Me want to stop him. Help Mokly stop him. Me show you where Me see him but guard keep laughing. He not stop and keep laughing like Mokly too dumb to think anything.

So Me try think hard what Elder Brovie want in village. He only have two other men with him. Sneak attack? Not possible. No two men and Elder Brovie could attack whole village. It not possible. Secret talk with Supreme Elder Ultric? Me think no too. Supreme Elder Ultric hate Elder Brovie. That why Supreme Elder Ultirc like showing vase. It show how much bigger and better Supreme Elder Ultric than Elder Brovie. But maybe Supreme Elder Ultric and Elder Brovie friends. Maybe secret friends. Like Elder Reemly help Mokly but no one know friendship of Mokly and Elder Reemly.

Elder Reemly tell Mokly No one need know of how Me help you Mokly. If others know then they treat Mokly bad and call Mokly pet of teacher. They say Mokly favorite but I know Mokly smart and good. Mokly can do many things. But Me help need be secret. Ok Mokly. Me help because Me see how good Mokly can be. So when Elder Reemly die it hurt more because Elder Reemly friend but others not know. They think Me just other student for Elder Reemly but not know Elder Reemly kind to Mokly and good friend to Mokly and when Me see Elder Reemly die in front of Me it hurt bad and Me think back to spear days and think Me not good like everyone say when I first throw spear. Me not learn from Elder Reemly. Me just like how everyone say Look Mokly not throw spear right. Mokly stupid and not throw spear. Mokly never throw spear right.

Me think these things as Me think what Me need to do for stop Elder Brovie. No way Elder Brovie and Supreme Elder Ultric friend. No way. People see something and talk in village if they friend. Me sometime hear rumor in town like how Liposo and Hinta like bed together. Or how Elder Goomly like wife of Elder Cirtic. No rumor of Elder Brovie and Supreme Elder Ultric. If no rumor then bad thing Elder Brovie want do. So Me go back to where Me see Elder Brovie and Me use knowledge of hills to get close but not too close to Elder Brovie. Me sneak on hill and crawl so Me hidden but Elder Brovie voice not.. And Me try listen to Elder Brovie and plan of Elder Brovie. Me hear him say Me want vase. Me know vase big pride of Ultric. Me take vase and bring back to tribe and celebrate with vase and show Ultric that Me have vase now and no stop Elder Brovie. Elder Brovie become biggest Elder in area. All other Elders think Elder Brovie best. Me know this true.

Then Me know. Me know true reason Elder Brovie here. He want vase. So Me go back to town and think to tell guard again about plan. Me think though guard not believe Mokly. Guard think Mokly stupid and plan to steal vase not real. No true. Guard think Mokly stupid and dumb and lie. So Me go to spot of vase. Me think If vase gone Elder Brovie no steal vase. Vase gone then no steal vase possible and when Elder Brovie go to vase he see no vase and say No vase here. How? How no vase? Then Me tell guard at vase palace Look Elder Brovie try steal vase. He bad. And Mokly hero.

But Mokly now break vase. Me with broke vase know guards come and see vase and say Mokly break vase. All Mokly fault. Arrest Mokly. Then Elder Brovie come and say Me know Ultric not able handle vase. Me better Elder for vase. And Elder Brovie win and Mokly lose. Mokly help Elder Brovie be bad.

But now Mokly have idea. Elder Brovie come for vase. Vase broke. Mokly no need blame for vase. Elder Brovie can break vase. Me run back to guard in village. Me tell guard vase broke. Elder Brovie go and break vase. Guard look confused but Me say You want to have vase break on Supreme Elder Ultric and no stop Elder Brovie. You not want be hero. You want be person who not listen to Mokly and let Elder Brovie break vase. Guard look suspicious but he say Ok fine Mokly. But Me know you probably stupid and vase ok. Me go check and he tell other guard to be guard now. Me and guard go to vase and Me show him vase and he have so much surprise he almost faint. He say Me let vase break. Supreme Elder Ultric think Me stupid. But Me tell guard it ok. Me know Elder Brovie location. Me tell guard go get group and we stop Elder Brovie. Guard have so much surprise Mokly tell guard what do. But guard do what Mokly say and get twenty other guard from homes and say Vase broke because Elder Brovie here. We find Elder Brovie.

Now group of twenty and Mokly go out to hills. Me know route because Me go through hills all day. Me know where sheep and people can go and where they not go. Me take lead of group and say Me see Elder Brovie here. He come to town he must go here. And Me lead and say Be silent so Elder Brovie not hear. In dark we go. Silent. Mokly lead way. And then like Me say Elder Brovie bright cape appear to all. And group all say Mokly right. Elder Brovie here and he break vase. We get Elder Brovie. Lead guard say Go and all guard go to Elder Brovie and Elder Brovie have look of surprise and scream but all guard throw spear and impossible for Elder Brovie and other with Elder Brovie to move. They kill Elder Brovie.

We all go back to village and vase. Supreme Elder Ultric there with Supreme Guard and broke vase. Supreme Elder Ultric look mad and sad at same time. Guard group who kill Elder Brovie there and say Sir we kill Elder Brovie. He in hills and come and break vase and try escape but we stop him. Supreme Elder Ultric not look happier but anger go away and dismiss all guard and say Thank you guard for help. Mokly leave too. No guard say thank you Mokly but every guard look at Mokly like they want say Mokly do good but Me not want to say that to Mokly. To hard to give Mokly praise.

Later though Mokly get praise. Supreme Elder Ultric not thank Mokly direct but guard say Supreme Elder Ultric know Mokly help and Mokly get gold each month for help. People around village also stop calling Me stupid. No more Mokly the stupid coming and now people act like when other people walk by and sometime say just Hi Mokly like for other people. Mokly feel better now. Me even go to grave of Elder Reemly and say Elder Reemly Me hero now for help. Me see bad thing happen and then Me do bad thing but Me find way to use bad thing Me do to stop other bad thing. Me tell him Me wish Elder Reemly still alive. Me take stupid call back if it bring Elder Reemly back. Me know world not work like that but Me wish it work like that.

Me think Elder Reemly proud if here. Me think Elder Reemly find Mokly in life after death and give Mokly idea about vase. Me miss Elder Reemly but Me happy Me know Elder Reemly and Me hope if Me have chance to become Elder Me can be like Elder Reemly and say to young student who struggle You can do good. You can be good. Me know it. People in past think Elder Mokly stupid too. Elder Mokly not stupid now. You need just kind person to say You do good. Now do good. Me know you do good.

Posted Apr 15, 2026
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