A Glimmer of Hope?

Possibly disturbing ideas about the "afterlife" if one exists.

Here I am on vacation somewhere I had never been before, and I’m already in more trouble than ever.

That last one was a doozy. The car’s leap from the bridge. The god-awful plunge into the icy water. How quickly the cabin filled, already soaking the shin-high leather boots I just bought. The ones that were so expensive.

And then I’m thinking, I’m really going through this.

Frantically, I try to remember that YouTube video about what to do in these situations as I call 911 on my phone.

“911, What is the nature of your emergency?” a female voice answered.

“I’m sinking in my car in a river!”

“Which river?”

“I don’t know!”

“Can you name the last street sign you saw?”

“I wasn't looking! Its my wife’s birthday!”

“I have you on GPS coordinates. We should have help there within 5 minutes. Hang tight.”

And I’m thinking, I don’t have five minutes.

I racked my brain as the car started to tilt down and I lost my phone to the frigid water, which was already up onto the seats, already waist-high.

Damn electric battery car! So ridiculously heavy. If the water doesn’t get me, the electrical fire from the batteries will!

Then, I teared up as I remembered my wife and the celebration we would have. Her birthday would be ruined, along with the birthday card I just bought. The chocolates and the special gift I bought her were swirling away in front of me, trapped in the onrushing water. I had gone halfway across town to buy those. And the water smelled so bad. Brown and green, green where it lapped up onto a new area in the car, menacingly brown everywhere else.

It was now or never. Where would the air pocket be? I had to act quickly. The only thing I could recall from the video I watched was that the car had to be filled with water before you could open the doors. Something about having to equalize the water pressure.

Which meant the car had to be filled with water. Water so cold that I could barely think. I took a gulp of air and tried the door. It wouldn’t open.

Of course. It's an electric door. Where’s the manual release?

I cursed as I felt for it. It’s a rental car, and I don’t know where the manual release mechanism is. The last thing I remember was kicking at the windows. Hard. But they were coated with a special plastic I remembered from a different YouTube video. Resistant to all but a burglar’s tools.

Then the air pocket was all I had left. That and waiting an eternity for the help that was promised. The bottom of the river was so dark. The only glimmer was from my cell phone somewhere out of reach.

#

“You tried to keep breathing. You really did,” something said.

And I’m half happy and half terribly put out by what doesn’t seem right. Where am I? I couldn’t see a thing.

“Who or what are you?” I answer.

“Too big a question,” was the reply. “Baby steps!”

I wanted to ask yet another question, but I thought better of it. We were silent for a while as I tried to find my bearings. The floor was neither rough nor smooth. There was nothing I could see or grab onto. The dark was impenetrable. I felt for my phone and remembered that I had lost it in the car.

“Where’s the car?” I stupidly said.

“Where you last left it?”

Whoever was speaking was now asking me a question. How odd, I thought. Maybe this conversation wasn’t real. I pinched myself. Whereupon whoever I was speaking to sighed. I don’t know if I was meant to hear that. I started to panic.

“I demand to know what is going on!”

“It would have been better if you had just kept breathing…” was the reply. Whereupon, I had the distinct impression that whoever I was speaking to had left. As in being gone. Which I so desperately wanted to be.

#

I don’t know if I slept or simply passed out. I thought maybe I was in a coma. You know, like in the movies. But then it occurred to me that if I was in a coma, I wouldn’t know it. Like, how often do you know when you dream that it isn’t real? Never?

But here I was able to imagine that my present existence wasn’t real. So that meant it was real?

Some screwed up logic there! I noted, smiling for the first time. Even a sense of humor, have we? I thought. I grinned all the more. I even laughed. Oh, what a story I will have when I get back! I told myself.

Then I wondered that aside from a sense of humor, what else do I have? I felt my clothing. I was not wet but curiously dry. I tried to imagine what I was wearing as I felt for inseams and belt loops, cuffs and collars.

Everything seemed fine. A shirt not unlike the one I was wearing at the time of the accident. Jeans. Those boots were there too. The ones I bought that I paid a fortune for.

It was something I always did. I always treated myself to something special on my wife’s birthday. And to imagine it was the most special day in her life, and I had to buy myself something equal in value. Every. Single. Time.

I felt such shame. Something didn’t feel right about it. And that had never occurred to me before. If I could just lose these boots!

Then I wondered what else I might lose. Or I should say, what else might I have lost?

Hmm. Let's see. It felt like a ton of time had gone by, but I was neither thirsty nor hungry. And I didn’t need to use the facilities. Such as they were. Also, I hadn’t tried walking or exploring. Wouldn’t that be one of the first things that I would do?

But I didn’t want to think about all that. So I shut it out of my mind.

#

“It’s time.”

That voice again. So commanding. I wanted to make a joke of it. Bubble up like some bobble head, like on some sitcom, and say something like “Time for what?” You know, totally irrelevant and stuff. But instead I said nothing.

In fact, there seemed to be a path out of here, a hopeful sign, I suppose. But for some reason, I shrank back. I didn’t want to walk on that path. I was happy here. Really.

“Come now!”

Whereupon I walked. Out of the darkness into the ruddy light. My companion, I could not see. But I had the distinct impression that I wouldn’t want to even if I could. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t a chatterbox all the same.

“You know, if this is the afterlife, it sucks. Really. I could come up with something way better than this. And waiting in the dark was so dispiriting. I really would like to complain! Do you have a complaint process?”

My companion said nothing. But that didn’t stop me.

“I was never a person who believed much in these things. You know, whatever happens happens. You know it?”

Still nothing.

I felt I had nothing left to lose. So I stopped walking and tried poking him in the eye. You know, where I thought his eyes were. Such as I could imagine.

“Alright, I’ve done enough talking. Its your turn. Why am I here?”

The entity seemed surprised. He took a moment to answer. “You did say ‘whatever happens happens’ did you not?”

I nodded.

My companion began walking again. “Now you have your wish.”