There's always Metaphysics.

"What have we got here, Mr. Fluff?" Pammy asked her large fat cat, sitting on the casual lounge chair in the reading nook. The feline stretched, and started kneading the cushion cover, before proceeding to close his eyes. Pammy had inherited the Olde MagicBook shop, and Mr. Fluff had been part of the establishment there. Pammy sighed, this solo life had its drawbacks.

"Fancy talking to the fur pal like that!" she tutted, never realising that she sounded like her Great Aunt Hetty. From her, Pammy had gained her general love of literature.

Her ambitions had once been aimed higher than owning a musty, dusty book shop, where only the very strange individuals came seeking old editions. It was a niche market. At that hour of the mid morning, Pammy was not exactly expecting any customers. In front of her lay a packing case which contained a job lot of old books. Pammy had ordered them online from interstate, some of the offerings of a deceased estate.

Heedless of the dust, and her sneezing, she rummaged quite satisfactorily, sorting the additions to her stock. "Interesting," she commented to no one in particular. "What's this? Old comics do hold their value, maybe it's in the wrong box."

She picked up a colourful, but faded, comic. On its front cover were rings from coffee cups of yore. She slowly turned the pages, maybe this would bring a handsome profit. Retro was very big in collectors' circles. The first page flooded Pammy with nostalgic memories. A large full page layout advertised good old sea monkeys, and sneezing powder, plus some magic potion to build up muscles. Once Pammy had been quite young. Her mother had never let her order sea monkeys. The ads promised so much, all they ever required was money and a stamp for surface mail.

Then there was the title page, intriguing. "Oh no, it's a joke! They're kidding." This whole comic book was devoted to "Magic Spells for Spinsters." The pages seemed to turn automatically. Pammy was fascinated. The very ultimate spell was prefaced with the words, "Summon your ideal male."

Below was a list of necessary magical devices to cast a spell, a soulmate for Pammy. Mr. Fluff purred, he was not listening.

"This is on the level of the device to make strong biceps in one day!" Pammy told herself, as she searched through her handbag for a liquorice allsort, and then found a dusty bookmark to complete the requisites for a successful spell. Well, she was definitely a single woman, an old maid, a spinster.

"What have got to lose?" she giggled, "Even if the bookmark is frayed, and the lolly is half nibbled."

Pammy was astounded when there was a rumble in the creaking floorboards, a tang of smoke, and a puff of lavender. There in front of her stood a man.

She fist pumped the air. "Yes, conjured up a handsome man! This comic book is magic."

Then she looked more closely at this specimen of manhood. "Oh, no. You can't be! Not Merv the Perv!"

Of all the demons in the world, she had conjured up her arch enemy from high school Merv the Perv looked more than slightly annoyed by becoming her manifest of a suitor.

"That magic spell betrayed me!" was all she could stutter.

'I'll have you know, your highness, I just happened to arrive in my best shirt and trousers. It makes underwear unnecessary....."

Pammy blushe, he still staredat her with his classic infuriating smirk, as if he could read some of her inner fantasies. Merv the Perv flexed his rather impressive biceps, and asked, "Or is this your dream come true?

Pammy regained some of her sassy repartee, and told him, "You better take a hike. This book store is over your lid."

"I'll have you know the Higgins men pride ourselves on our literary abilities. Take me to your landscape section. Today was supposed to be my first day as a landscape architect."

"Garden section is over there, by the exit. Don't let me hold you back from leaving. Obviously, I cast the wrong spell with the wrong lolly."

Merv the Perv leered, then looked bemused, "Ah, magic in the air. After you failed Physics, there is always Metaphysics."

With that, he sauntered off towards the exit. But he walked more than five yards from Pammy, who had retreated near Mr. Fluff, as if the fat cat would protect her from Perv. Merv the Perv Higgins, eye candy man as always, started sneezing, and so did Pammy. Her eyes watered, her nose was streaming. She tried to grab handfuls of tissues from the container, as did Merv the Perv. But when he came close to Pammy, they both stopped sneezing.

Merv the Perv suspended his belief system, and said, "I'll try the exit again." But the sneezing recurred even worse this time, when he reached anywhere near the exit to the Olde Magic Book Shop.

"Silly woman," Merv the Perv scolded, "you have conjured up a Proximity Spell as well. Find the anti-spell, reverse this curse right now! I'll sue you if I don't get to work."

Then he perved at Pammy, in that all too familiar way he had always used. Pammy was underwhelmed, this comic book for spinsters belonged in a bonfire. Perspiration beaded her face, she was really being put on the spot here. All she could say was, "You'll be laughed out of court. Can't get blood from a stone here."

Merv the Perv sat down glumly near Mr. Fluff, who sat discreetly washing his face by licking his paws.

"Having a pawsome day there, cat!" Merv the Perv regained his smug face. Then his gaze lingered on Pammy, as he suggested, "Where do you sleep at night? Don't tell me you've only got a single bed. No wonder. I'll manage to please your dreams. Looks like your dream lover has finally landed."

Pammy found Old Aunt Hetty's books of spells and cures, so she and Merv the Perv bonded over reading. He had to move in with Pammy. As the year passsed, the Olde Magic Book Shop was renovated, and became a thriving, bustling centre of community contacts and activities. Merv the Perv was good on innovative ideas and promotions. Customers flocked as the wheel turned back to books in print. No one would ever really know if either Pammy or Merv the Perv found the cure for the Proximity Spell. It was all Metaphysical, after all. They had been bewitched, forever in love.