A Witches Perspective

I simply love old houses; they have so much character. It is such a treat to go in and find out what their secrets are. When I was coming up, I looked at many possible careers, but a real-estate agent seemed to suit me the best. My mother, bless her enjoyed treating animals. She was a gifted healer and could seemingly talk to animals. What am I saying, seemingly talk to animals. Of course she could talk to them, she was a witch after all. Just as I am a witch and my sister is. My sister chose to become a chemist; I never did well with potions. I always seemed to put too much of this or too little of that into the brew and would just get things all fouled up. I once turned myself into a very large cat with purple hair. It took a week for my hair to change back to its normal color. The transformation potion wore off in an hour or so, but my hair or mane if you will, was purple for a week. I looked like a purple mop wandering around. Fortunately, I found other talents that lead me to be a real-estate agent.

Early on I found that I did have a knack for nature and talking to odd things. I could see magical creatures and speak to animals but not as effectively as my mother. It took a great deal of study to perfect my gift. It can be advantageous but sometimes annoying. At first, I couldn't shut it off, then when I learned to control it, I was a bit mischievous with it. Anyway, I learned to harness my talents and when I attended human college, yeah that is a different story all together as my sister and I were homeschooled, once my mother determined we had magical powers that is. My dad, bless him had his hands full with 3 witches in the house. Oh yes, he knew my mother was a witch from a young age, but he was good with it. He is the son of a woodsman. He is a carpenter by trade. He only works with wood from dead trees. My mother, nor I could stand to see him cut one down. I mean being able to hear the tree scream in fear of the AX! Only naturally fallen trees for his shop. It didn't work out too bad for him. He is really talented and having witches in the family allowed him to locate really good pieces of aged wood in the forest. The trees were more than glad to talk to us. They actually enjoyed seeing the old fallen trees being given new life as a sculpture or piece of furniture. It made them happy somehow to know that someone cared enough to use the old wood.

Like I said earlier, I work in real estate. I know a witch that sells houses. Well, I don't exactly just sell them. I like to move into a house, especially the ones that have been around a while. It isn't that hard to set up shop actually. I keep my necessities in a carpet bag. I just miniaturize my furniture with an incantation and store them when moving. I then place them where I want them and enlarge them. I know it sounds simple, but you would be surprised how much magic and science cross over one another. For instance, the reduction spell has it's limits. The furnishings will only stay in a compressed state for so long. If you go beyond a certain point one of two things usually happens, you get enlargement at the wrong time, or the item disintegrates under the strain of the compression spell. There was this one warlock in the witch news, oh yes, we have our own news periodical! Anyway, he tried to transport a car on a subway, well he didn't cast the spell properly. You can use your imagination about what happened. I mean clean up on track 5! What a mess, that is kind of hard to explain away. Anyway, back to my job, I like to move into the houses I intend to sell. Sometimes I run into rogue spirits haunting the place. Depending on the nature of the spirit, it can be either delightful or bothersome. I moved into this Tudor home once and the old couple that had lived there just didn't want to move on. They were not ready to leave. In fact, the wife was delighted to have a witch living in here home, she would make me cookies periodically. Imagine, getting ghost cookies hot out of the oven. I let them have a say on who got their house. A nice young couple with lots of children bought the place. The old spirits were so delighted to hear the laughter of children again. It was quite a good fit. I made a nice commission on that sale and made some good friends. Both the clients and the previous owners. I still get cookies ever so often delivered to me mysteriously. The young children can see the old couple and delight in talking and playing with them. What a happy ending.

As a witch, I have other responsibilities besides a career. I know you might think that we ride broom sticks and put hexes on people, but that isn't all together true. You see there are rules that all witches must live by. We have an actual book of regulations. I know, “RULES”! Everyone has to live by them, even those of us of a magical variety. One of the most important rules is to keep our identity secret. Not everyone is allowed to know that we are able to use magic. I mean can you imagine the turmoil that it would cause, ever hear of the dark ages? There is also the I cannot profit off of my magic thing. I know what you are likely thinking, mom was a healer and I am selling houses by getting to know the neighborhood ghost or actually talking to the house. This is where it gets a little tricky. Since a doctor or a realestate agent is an actual profession, then we really aren't breaking the rule, just bending it slightly. I am really good at talking to people. I cannot use magic to influence someone into buying a place, but if the spirit that lives there gives them a nudge, well what can a witch do? Now I sometimes do set up a potion room in the house. I do not dabble in dark magic or anyting like that. That gets you in trouble really quick. Though I am allowed to use magic to help people or to protect myself. Once I had a house haunted by a angry old spirit. I moved in and immediately he tried to scare me out. I had to use a binding spell to calm him down. Another time, two young individuals broke into a house I was living in. They weren't just harmless pranksters. I used a fear potion to make their wildest fears come true. They ran out in absolute terror and naturally reported to the authorities that I was a “ WITCH”! So knowing that the police would be coming around, I put on my sexy witch costume with the pointed hat. Did I mention that I am an amature thespian? Silly me, it must have slipped my mind. Well when the cops showed up, I opened the door showing the right amount of clevage and silk stockings on my gorgeous legs . I had theater flyers all over the house. The cops were not really convinced that I was casting spells or riding brooms. I did however point out that the 2 burglars dropped a plastic bag into the bushes as they left in a hurry. Silly me, how did those mushrooms get out there? That was that short and sweet.

There are times in life when being a witch can be a lonely state of existence. There are also those rare moments when you get to make a real difference. A young girl was living next door to me one time. She was really ill and there wasn't much hope for her situation. She had the kind of heart that comes along once in a generation, so honest and trusting. I felt a kindred spirit in her. One day I was in my positions room mixing a brew and she came in and caught me. She asked me if I was a witch? In a moment of weakness, I openly said yes. Her little eyes lit up! This is where the rules sometimes get in your way. We are not under any circumstance allowed to alter a person's fate. No matter how much we might want to, it is forbidden as one of our most sacred rules. While I could not help her condition. I told her I could give her a gift. Her little eyes lit up and she said she wanted to fly with me. I almost lost it! Witches can fly on a broom but it takes a great deal of preparation. I had to make a special broom. I had to properly enchant it and the conditions have to be just right. It isn't like in the middle ages, modern aircraft, radar, etc.. It makes it difficult to just jet around the sky. Anyway, I set up the broom and the time. It was on a cloudy night with a bright silver moon shining in and out of the sky. I used a sleeping potion to keep her parents and siblings asleep. I levitated up to her bedroom window and picked her up. We sailed high into the night sky. We flew beyond the clouds until we could almost touch the moon. I have never saw such wide eyed joy in anyone. I took her home and put her to bed just before dawn. She passed quietly 3 days later. Amazingly, I didn't feel sad. I looked for her spirit, but it had moved on. The following spring I was in a new home and setting up my potions room again, when a joyful blue bird flew through the window and landed on my broom. It just began singing a joyful tune, then a sweet little voice asked me, how do you like my new look. Yes, sometimes the heavens grant special dispensation and allow the most joyous souls another life.

Oh, my dear, it is getting late. I have a house showing at 2pm and I am not nearly ready for it. It is a risk, but one I will have to take. So out comes the wand and with a couple of flicks of my wrist, trash is picked up, the furniture is arranged and all the dust is gone. What good is being a witch if you don't clean things up every now and then?