Unlikely Reunion

I sat at my hometown coffee shop staring down at the black liquid, its glossy finish almost smooth enough to reflect back to me my tired expression. I had been up late last night and while I had wanted to sleep in, that urge was overruled by my obligation to catch up with some old friends this morning. I slouched back into the oversized upholstered chair, careful to not spill any of my coffee. I closed my eyes and laughed to myself, surprised that in a few hours I’d be at my twenty year reunion. A bunch of my old friends were coming in for the event, and two of them were planning to meet me here this morning to catch up. I heard the door open and close a number of times, signaling that things were about to get a lot busier in here. I still had my eyes closed when I heard some familiar voices. I decided to wait a few more moments before imposing on them. It wasn’t long before their conversation shifted from their personal lives to gossip about people from high school. I shouldn’t have been surprised though, small towns and all. But right before I was about to get up, I overheard one of them say, without much of a whisper, “Oh! And did you hear about Becca?” Apparently she was all over someone in the parking lot of Jake’s last night! And whoever it was had a wedding ring on. She just doesn’t know when to quit. Maybe it’s her thing, ya know - married men? So, I guess it wasn’t just Phoebe’s husband.”

I felt my face flush and my stomach give out. I didn’t know if I wanted to cry or yell. Despite our complicated history, hearing my friends spread rumors about Becca made me shift in the chair. Because before she had broken up my marriage, she had been my best friend.

*******************************************************************************

Becca and I had been close at the start of high school, hanging out in the same crew. Over our freshmen year, we became even closer, doing things just the two of us. We spent many summer nights riding our bikes around town when the air was humid, giggling about whatever crazy thing had happened in class or what our band teacher was wearing that day. We had sleep overs where we had stayed up late, laughing our heads off, eating Doritos and chocolate until our stomachs ached. She was the only person I felt I could be my true self with - my goofy, wild, neurotic self. I loved our time together and honestly, her friendship got me through those four long years. But unfortunately after high school we drifted apart. Becca went to college near our hometown, but I made my way across the country. Separated by three time zones, we slowly found it harder to catch up and instead spent our energy building new relationships in our next phase of life. After college, I moved back near home to start my career in nursing and be near my parents. I remember thinking of the possibility of crossing paths with Becca, having some kind of serendipitous meeting that would rekindle our relationship. But as I returned home, Becca was now the one to move on, heading a few states away for Law School. We lost touch at that point, the missed years feeling like a lifetime.

Eventually, I found myself a great guy who wanted to start a life with me. We married and bought a house not too far from my parents. I hadn’t thought much of Becca until I read her name on my intake chart in the ER late one January night. The note read that she had fallen on black ice and was worried she broke her wrist. I walked in to take her vitals, feeling somewhat nervous to see her. Even though I knew who to expect, it still felt surreal to see her sitting there.

“Becca Ryan!” I said as I walked in the room. I don’t know if she was able to detect my feigned surprise.

She looked quizzically for just a heartbeat and then quickly returned, "Holy shit. Phoebe!” She stood and raised her arms to hug me before whincing in pain. “Fuck. Ah. I should not have done that.” She complained.

“Here - sit back down,” I instructed her, leading her to the bedside.

“Phoebe, I just can’t believe it. I had no idea you worked here!”

We quickly caught up - our conversation flowing as if we’d never missed a beat. We agreed to meet up again that weekend, and within a short time we were having regular visits and hang outs.

I was so happy to have reconnected with Becca. Her presence made me feel youthful, carefree, and most importantly at ease. She filled me with such peace and calm that I found myself craving her company. My husband often joked about how I seemed to love spending time with her over him, but he also told me he understood. He had also fallen under her spell. Many of our dinner dates were the three of us, sitting around our small kitchen table, since Becca was not in a relationship. We sipped our wine late into the evening as we delved deep into our beliefs about the world and musings on life. I didn’t mind seeing the two people I loved most in the world connect, in fact it made me feel happy to see them getting along so well. Many nights I’d leave the two of them playfully arguing about some topic while I retired to bed early. I guess all of that should have been my warning sign, my red flag, that it wasn’t ever supposed to be that easy.

I came home early one night from work, sick to my stomach most likely from a virus that had taken down a few of my colleagues at the hospital earlier that week. When I saw Becca’s car in the street, I felt my stomach drop. While she was close with my husband, it was odd for her to be there alone. I turned the doorknob, half expecting it to be open due to our visitor, but it was locked. A wave of panic filled my gut. I turned the key and opened the door. The house was quiet. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs. I knew what I’d most likely find up in the shadows and I didn’t want to see it. It hurt too badly to imagine the person I loved the most in the world, whom I wanted to spend my life with and grow old with, betraying me with my best friend. I called up to them.

“Hey…just so you know I came home early. I’m not coming up there - I’m going back in the car and I’ll be back in ten minutes. I’m sick so please be gone so I can come back and rest.”

I turned away and left. When I drove home an hour later, both cars were gone. I crawled into bed and cried myself to sleep.

Eventually my husband and I separated. The pain of what I lost that day felt so heavy. I didn’t see Becca or hear from her either after that day. I dove into my work, spending extra hours at the hospital to earn overtime and save some money. I had dreamed of buying a nicer place, one with a porch swing and a lake view. Although all of that seemed pointless now without someone to share it with. I felt the grief eating away at my joy and I knew that I had to start getting myself back into the world of dating so that I could heal.

After one of my weekend shifts, I left the hospital and went to a local restaurant - one of only a few decent spots we had that had good drinks and music. I ordered myself a seasonal beer and sat at the bar ready to talk to someone. Anyone. I took a quick glance around the room, looking to see if there was anyone who piqued my interest. Then I spotted her. Becca. My stomach did a somersault and I immediately looked down at the bar. Had she seen me? I felt nauseous, a burning rising in my throat. I had to hold it together. But I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. My palms were sweating and I felt like a trapped animal. I looked up again and she was gone. Had I imagined her? Before I could answer, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and Becca was standing behind me.

“Hi” she said nervously. I stared back, my cheeks starting to flush. She continued, “I know you probably don’t want to see me, talk to me, or have anything to do with me. But I want you to know - there’s more to the story. I want to tell you everything if, and when, you’re ever ready. I really miss you.” She leaned in as if she was going to hug me, but seemed to second guess herself when I didn’t move. She turned and started walking to the door. Something tugged at my chest. I could feel an aching, a longing, and an honest curiosity about what she had meant. I heard a voice in my head nudge me to get up, chase after her. I felt like my body wasn’t my own as I stood up, grabbed my bag, and chugged the last of my beer. While I didn’t run, I did hustle to the door and saw Becca still striding across the parking lot.

“Wait!” I yelled. “Wait up!”

Becca stopped and turned, a slight smile of surprise rising on her mouth balanced with what seemed to be hopefulness.

“I want to hear what you have to say”, I edged out with a breathlessness from my quickened pace. Becca walked over to the curb where the front of her car was parked and sat down. I joined her, wondering if I should suggest a more comfortable spot. But maybe it was better if we didn’t stay here too long. She took a big sigh, so much so that I started to wonder what kind of news she was going to share.

“I know this might sound like a cop-out” she started. I felt myself tense up, shutting down, closing off before she even said another word. I took a deep breath myself, urging my body to ease. I leaned slightly back, my palms now placed on the rocky surface behind us. I took another breath and lifted my eyebrows slightly, knowing that would release the tension in my face and hopefully in my heart.

She continued, “I didn’t return his advances.” I could sense her slowly look up to meet my gaze, but I was staring straight ahead still, unsure of what to even say to her. “Let me start over. I’m sorry - fuck, I’m so nervous Phoebe.” She dragged her fingers through her hair and at that moment I wanted to put my hand on her thigh. Reassure her that it was ok, I would listen. To relax. But I couldn’t do it. I just sat there, still working to remain as open as possible to her revelation.

“I had no idea that he was interested in…well, in trying anything with me the day I went over there. He called me asking if I’d come over to help him review a contract he had gotten. I mean, I thought he knew he and I were just friends. But he asked me to go upstairs to his office. Once I was in there looking over the paperwork, he leaned in to kiss me. I pushed him back right away - told him he was an asshole and he fucked up big time. He told me that it wasn’t just him - he told me that I’d led him on. He said that our late night talks and all my visits over dinner and game nights was for sure a signal that I was interested - that I wanted more from him.”

Now, I felt my anger growing. The surge in my chest was burning up, just waiting to explode. Just the visual of the two of them in his office, being so intimate made my stomach turn. I finally looked over at Becca and she had tears in her eyes. Her voice wavered a little and I could see her hands were still shaking. Her voice became a bit softer and lower as she said the words that would change my life forever. “He was right, Phoebe. I was spending so much time with you guys because I wanted more. But it wasn’t him I wanted, Phoebe. It was you.”

Becca said those words and I could have sworn that time stopped. I didn’t notice if any cars drove by or if anyone was walking across the parking lot. It was as if Becca and I were the only ones in the world at that very moment. A tsunami of emotions slammed into me. I felt relief, but also a profound sadness. I felt joy, but also pain. Excitement and anxiety. I felt them all join me on that curb to witness this moment where my story would change course.

I reached over and grabbed Becca’s hand. I held it and then placed my other hand on top, holding hers between my two palms. We stayed like that for another few moments before I finally broke the silence and perhaps the unknown for her.

“I’ve loved you since high school, Becca. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship and by the time our paths crossed again, we were both just in such different places. It wasn’t as if I didn’t love him, he was my best friend. But you - you’re the person I love most in the world - the person I’ve always wanted to spend my life with, grow old with, explore th-“

I didn’t finish my sentence before Becca’s lips were on mine with a fierceness that I could have never predicted. We gave into the moment, as she grabbed my face to hold me closer as I dug my fingers into her hair. Kissing her felt exhilarating, until I realized I was still wearing my wedding ring. I pulled away and looked down. Becca watched me with love and care as I took the ring off and slipped it into my pocket. She smiled and within seconds was pressing herself against me once again. Sitting there, kissing her in the middle of the parking lot, I felt like we were back in high school.

After what felt like hours of exploring each other in this way for the first time, uncaring of who might see us, we moved to stand.

“So…” Becca started.

“So…” I mimicked, smiling back at her.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then at the reunion?”

“Yup.” I responded. “See you then.”

***********************************