I Tell No Lies

This story contains abuse, violence, grief and Trans and mental health issues that may be a trigger for some.

I Tell no Lies

Alice reeled at the words before her.

“You’re always drunk and when you are you are nasty… all you do is bully everyone If he’s really as bad as you say just leave him or better still get in touch with the domestic abuse services, that’s what they’re there for. If you leave and come to us or other family or friends, he will know where you are. You need to go where you will be safe…. I can’t help you anymore than that…”

‘IF’ he was as bad as she said ‘IF!’

Jenny believed Ron over herself.

Why did everyone always take Ron’s side? She was innocent! Sure she had a mouth on her, but did that deserve the frequent kickings she was given by him? WHO the hell was Jenny to judge her this way?

Without thinking she hit the keypad with a thunderous roar. Livid with her daughter for always taking his side.

“Ohh don’t talk to me about sacrifice, that’s all my life has ever been… I’ve done nothing but love you and take care of you since my sister died…. I’ve only ever done right by her… I’m not to blame… I’m not DRUNK how DARE you suggest I am… I slave for him I slave for you… I give you my last penny and YOU take HIS side…it’s all Ron’s fault…”

“I’m not saying I don’t believe you mum… I’m saying you need to get away safely…here are some places/websites look them up…if you can’t get to them I can, just let me know…I’m also saying once you’re safe you need to get help with your own drinking problem…. Get to safety then get yourself some help… AA are well known for supporting alcoholics…”

The audacity of her! How dare she. Once again Alice was the bad guy, once again Alice was to blame. Where had she gone wrong? All she’d ever done was love that girl deep into her very soul and this was the thanks she got being called an alcoholic. An alcoholic her? Just because she drank gin or wine or vodka or whatever was available on a daily basis didn’t make her an alcoholic. It was to numb the pain, to help her carry on. She could stop if she wanted, she wasn’t like a drug addict. She could choose not to have a drink anytime she liked.

Never in her life had she felt such rage at the unwarranted accusation, that she was an alcoholic. Was she the only one who could see the reality around her? Was everyone else so brainwashed by Ron and his act. 

Bravo Ron you really did a number on her didn’t you hey? You achieved it, alienated close family didn’t you hey didn’t you?

Well she was not going to stand for it she was no alcoholic and of all the people to accuse her of being an alcoholic, her own niece who she’d taken on as her own well.. keyboard warrior time it was.

“Oh so I’m a drunk am I?…well if I’m a drunk you’re a pill popper…a lazy cow who does nothing….what kind of mother lies on her bed all day unable to function without pills down her throat?…if my cold dead sister could see you now she’d turn in her grave rest her soul….You neglect your kids…..my grandkids for a shag in a hotel with a man you hardly know…making me scrub the filth you call a home…. I ought to report you to social services…..”

“Ok… there’s no need for all that…. That’s all in the past and you did call them…I needed to get my head around almost loosing my children…I was deeply depressed… not my finest hour…I needed help and I got it…”

“Oh you…don’t talk to me about need….I need your help and you call me a drunk….that shithole you live in….I took photos of it, I can still call social services…..The other day my youngest granddaughter told me I had to call her Harry…. She’s changed her name to Harry because she’s a boy….Its fucking sick that’s what that is….disgusting…”

“Ok…”

“Oh here we go back to the ok’s…is that all you’ve got ok?…it’s not ok it’s sick…you already got her older brother on about surgery and that’s been going on for years my Hetti.. now apparently Harry is just copying Carl….She’s just a copycat…”

“Ok”

“Yeah and your middle daughter Sally sits slashing herself…. My grandkids are my soul…you got not right to keep them away from me…none of this is my fault!…all I ever did was love you and now you blame me…. It’s all Ron’s fault…he kicks me because kicking isn’t hitting so it’s not abuse….you all need to take a look in the mirror…think back you all know I’m right…. Don’t you fill their heads with your poison….”

“Ok”

“It’s not ok don’t keep saying ok…. tell me what am I meant to do Jenny… You all say I’m hurting you but Ron’s hurting me…”

“Ok… I’ve said before if I feel you are becoming abusive I will only respond with ok or not respond at all…”

“I’m not abusive and I’m not drunk…. I never lie…I tell no lies…you have no respect calling me a drunk…don’t give me shit… that’s your shit not mine…Ron hurts me but you call me the liar….you will find it all comes back to bite your ass…mark my words when he kills me you’ll be sorry… You all will…. I’m gonna go now and take my beating… hold your head high Jenny and practice that funeral march….I won’t be here no more….you’ll see…..I tell no lies…”

“Ok”

“Not ok….I’m gone now….I tell no lies…”

With that last statement Alice blocked Jenny, leaving her to wonder what the truth actually was.

***

Jenny was numb inside from the last 20 plus years. She had grieved time after time. Deeply missing The Aunt Alice and second mum she had known and grown up with. She put up with the now damaged drunken shell of the strong, loving woman she had once known in the eternal hope she would eventually return. 

The Alice she had always known prior to her drunken years would never have said anything as hurtful, yes she would have been blunt made her point but not in such a nasty tone and only when it was needed.

Since Alice had become an alcoholic she was constantly looking for fights, fallouts and drama she would have once rather done without. She would ruin special occasions by latching onto something she misheard someone else say and that would become the next battleground.

Everyone else would be at fault unless they were in complete agreement with Alice. Every so often they would have a good celebration time and everyone would go home feeling elated that things had gone well.

There would be a fair few of these happy times then the switch would flip out of nowhere over one of these mishearings or misinterpretations. Sometimes it seemed like Alice had decided someone was in the wrong and she pecked away at that one person until they ended up retaliating, which then led into constant streams of unnecessary abusive slurs. Most of the time they made absolutely no sense but they always managed to cut though to the core of Jenny’s soul.

Alice would bring up truths and half truths from the past as if they were now. Mixing them up to sound like they were recent reality.

Jenny had tried to let them go, she knew it was only the drink talking and too be fair she only suffered a quarter of the hurt of Alice’s real daughter.

Sonia put up with much worse text sessions throwing up her past and much deeper torments, longer lived fallouts and traumas.

Trying to take the flack for everyone else, Sonia would apologise to Alice just to keep the peace. She had even once said to Jenny.

“It’s ok Jen, I’ll apologise and all will be well… you’ll see”.

Neither one of them had ever seen Ron go to hurt Alice as she claimed. They had however witnessed a severely drunk Alice, mishear, misinterpret and even sometimes just decide to become verbally abusive towards Ron.

Sometimes he would argue a defense other times he’d sit in silence letting her get it out of her system.

Ron was a very quiet man who liked a simple life. He had taken on Sonia and Jenny when Sonia’s parents had divorced. He didn’t seem to have any known family of his own. At lease he never mentioned them, instead he took the view. Alice, Sonia, Jenny, Carl, Sally and Harry were his family and he treated them as such. Though he wasn’t the most conversational man unless it was something generally neutral. He never came across as unkind. 

Alice had taken Jenny in as her own when her mum had died and brought her up for most of her life and Jenny’s children saw her as their genuine Nan. Even as adults and knowing the truth they still viewed her as Nan. Likewise as each of her children had come into the world. Alice had treated them as hers and so had Ron without a doubt they were their grandparents. 

Unlike Alice with her old fashioned views, Ron had accepted Carla’s transition to Carl, Sally’s and Jenny’s severe depression and now Harry’s currently changing ideas of who he may actually be. He was as Ron had said ‘Finding themselves as a teenager’.

None of Alice or Ron’s devotion to their grandchildren was in doubt. What was in doubt was whether Ron really was beating Alice up. They had seen bruises on her arms, however they were always explained by Alice herself as a reaction to her medication for her lungs. Up until now anyway, when she had recently started declaring they were actually from Ron grabbing her and kicking her.

Sonia was 100% behind Ron and the evidence against it all, that she knew from her own eyes and experiences of Ron. 

Jenny however was unsure what to think or believe. She came to the only conclusion that made sense to her that Ron may have caused the bruises unintentionally by not knowing his own strength. When he had pushed her away on her becoming not only verbally but physically violent towards him, as she had been known to at other times.

They had themselves seen her get physical towards him a few times. However she also knew Alice was not one to make things up. Well at least she never used to be. It was so hard to know what to believe and was something only two people knew for sure. The two who lived it, Alice and Ron. 

Jenny decided that to ease her own mind she would go and see Alice in person tomorrow, while Ron was at work. Then they could not only speak freely but Alice might actually be sober.

Unfortunately for her Jenny didn’t get to speak to Alice the next day. Instead she was called by Ron to say Alice had died in the night.

When Jenny arrived at the house Sonia was already there and she walked in mid conversation between, the GP, police and Ron. While Sonia sobbed her heart out rocking herself back and forth on the floor. 

“ I’m sorry Ron but I find it difficult to believe that Alice died in her sleep as you say…I’m afraid as a GP it just doesn’t explain all of the bruising and more importantly the broken ribs nose and black eyes… No medication does that the bruising on her arms for sure but not the rest…” 

“Well then Ron I’m going to have to ask you to accompany me to the station for a proper statement of events or I can arrest you… which will it be…” 

“Ron?…what are they talking about?..”Jenny questioned.

Ron just hung his head down staring at his shoes like a naughty schoolboy caught in the act of stealing some science equipment. Unable to look Jenny in the eyes all he could say was. 

“I’m sorry girls… things went too far…”

While a heartbroken Sonia added.

“He means this Sis…look at her…”

Jenny walked over to where Sonia sobbed.

Looking down on an unrecognisable Alice, a black, purple, blue and swollen Alice, from all the bruising leaving scarcely any pale or red coloured skin. Due to the lumps and bumps of sticking out ribs, a twisted leg, a birthday ballooned out face. One of her arms bent across her chest gripped shut the other facing outwards and upwards in a defensive pose. Like a crime scene from a movie. Only in their parent’s home.

Jenny looked over to Ron again. He was still looking at his shoes trying to head towards them with his glare, hoping to open up a black hole beneath to swallow him through. The police officer still facing him in question of willing or forced cooperation and the GP looking like she was guilty of intruding a clearly broken home. Backing away with her.

“I’m so sorry for your loss..”

Then over to her younger sister beside herself, her body wracked with violent sobs. Then back to the now gone Alice. 

Feeling a grief she couldn’t show through the numb of the past. A soft gently voice from her dried out throat. Jenny spoke to Alice.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you…why didn’t I just believe you…”

Reaching for Alice’s closed hand as she spoke, she felt a small piece of folded paper pushed against Alice’s palm.

Gently removing it she unfolded it to read. 

“You girls are my soul… I’ve only ever loved you…I forgive you but never forget…I tell no lies…”

The End.