The Moonlight Heist

9:30 PM

I always loved the way the moon hits me and my surroundings, and tonight certainly was no exception. My black Pontiac glowed in the moonlight like an omen, letting those around it decide whether it’s a good or bad one. And me? I allowed myself the luxury of wearing my shiniest tie and shoes. I look dashing, but not enough to stand out where I’m going.

Speaking of my destination, I’ve arrived. The house is much bigger than I thought it would be. I’m used to operating in mansions, but never any of this size. What would one need all this house for?

The main room of the gala was what you’d expect out of an abode like this: a couple of chandeliers, refreshment tables on either wall, and a dual staircase leading to a balcony that overlooks it all. Walking through the needlessly large double doors, I was met with a few weird looks. I suppose that all the attendants knew each other and weren’t expecting a stranger such as myself. Yes, I was invited, but they don’t know that. I’m coming as the plus one of an inside man who told the host he likely wasn’t going to invite a plus one. It’s good that they don’t know me, but now the few people glaring at me have my face in mind. I’ll have to do something about that later.

9:36 PM

It would make things easier to just grab tonight’s macguffin and get out, but where’s the fun in that? I’m at a classy party in a mansion. I might as well enjoy myself for a little bit before getting down to business. I make my way over to a snack table to check out what they have available. On the spotless white tablecloth sat wine of both colors, champagne, an assortment of fruit, salami, olives, crackers, and cheeses that can only be found in places with price tags on the very air within. Much to my disgust, I also notice a few dozen tins of caviar. I’m dealing with a real snobby rich man here. I begrudgingly grab a grip of green grapes, not fully wanting to accept commodities from a caviar enjoyer.

9:45 PM

I’d like to revoke my previous statement about fun. It took me only one scanning circle around the room to remember that I don’t actually enjoy parties, nor do I understand them. What’s the appeal of a bunch of people crowding a room with nothing to do but talk and eat charcuterie? The food is nice, but the piano music being played is drowned out by the unnecessarily loud conversations, and there are far too many people here. I know for a fact that Mr. Money Bags Jr. at the left wing caviar station does not have this many friends.

9:47 PM

Forget fun. Let’s get this over with. The task will be more thrilling than the location, anyway. Before I got here, the inside man told me and Karl that the objective is on the second floor. However, there are four cameras in the main room, and no one is heading up to the balcony. If I go up alone, I’ll look suspicious. If I want to get to the objective, I need a crowd on those stairs.

I think for a minute and decide that the best diversion would be to start a fight. I’ll need combatants and an incentive. Looking through the crowd, I see a bald-headed man at about 75 inches tall with biceps the size of my head. He could definitely do some damage, but I need a prolonged fight that won’t end in one blow. Besides, he gives full “I’m so sorry”s when he bumps into people and swings his arms almost as if he’s frolicking when he strides. I can tell by his demeanor he wouldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a fellow human being. On the other hand, his little friend two-thirds his size looks like a scrapper. When he bumps into someone, they apologize when they see his seething glare. I won’t need to find another fight-in-a-can if I use the tiny time-bomb. 

9:55

I select another bunch of grapes from the snack table. This time, I choose purple ones. I only eat green grapes, so this will cause a tiny bit less connection to myself. Fading further into the mob of party-goers, I launch a grape at the little man from behind my back and force the rest into the hand of the closest person before my sweet projectile lands. Now, I just have to wait.

“Hey! Who threw that?”

Silence responds, waiting for him to come up with his own answer.

“It was you, wasn’t it!?” He presses, his blood boiling. I can see him pointing at my chosen victim. 

The next second isn’t allowed to pass before the two are in a struggle. A few people escape through the doors, but most of the attendees were enjoying the party too much to leave prematurely. Instead, they choose to wait it out, which will take a while due to the lack of a security team on the premises. The chaos will also make everyone forget my face. As planned, the remaining guests fled up the stairs and I wasted no time following. Hidden behind the mob, I make my way into the study. 

I get to the entrance of the room and pause before stepping in. I look to the walls inside and see a surveillance box with a red light shining proudly. The cameras in the study are still on. I look down at my watch and see only a few more seconds until 10:00.

5…

4…

3…

2…

1!

0…?

10:00:01. I hear three high-pitched beeps from above me. That’s my queue. 

I slip on my gloves and sift through the papers and filing cabinets. The blue one has all the info we need in a file labeled “PROJECT APEX.” I could just leave now with the file hidden in my suit, but a couple of reflections in the corner of my eye caught my attention. The green cabinet to my left has a key and black rock on top of it. Both are shiny. Just the sight of those things made my night. Don’t mind if I do.

I rejoin the crowd on the balcony just in time for the gentle giant to build up his courage and restrain his little buddy. While everyone goes back to partying, I grab another handful of grapes and walk out the door.

My phone starts ringing about 5 minutes away from the mansion.

“You were one second late, Karl.”

“Good evening to you, too, Ace.”

“I got the file.”

“Good to hear. Are you gonna be home soon? Dinner’s almost ready.”

“Since when can you get into my house without me knowing?”

“Getting into places I’m not allowed is my whole thing, Ace.”

I roll my eyes.

“I’m on the way home. You better be cooking something good.”

“Trust me. I am.”

“Good. Well, I’m gonna go now. I’ll see you when I get there.”

“OK. Love you, buddy. Oh, and you better not have filled up on grapes agai-”